Who is in the wrong here?

My husband doesn’t think it’s acceptable that I speak to my ex regarding my 20 and 17 year old children. He’s threatened divorce and said there was no reason for me to communicate so I hid speaking to my ex about my 17 year old then felt guilty and told him. He won’t speak to me. He’s threatened to divorce and said it’s the same thing as cheating. Please give me some insight.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Who is in the wrong here?

If you have children with your ex, at least that’s what I’m getting from this, you can still co-parent. I don’t think it’s right that he’s threatening you with divorce…

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they are your children. he needs to get over it.

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He has serious issues …unless you have given him reasons before now not to trust you. I communicate with my ex about our children nothing wrong with that.

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Wow. You should be able to speak to your childs other parent. That is absolutely insane that he is being like that. Is he jealous? Does he think you are cheating? Tell him to grow up. You are doing nothing wrong

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he’s out of his ever loving mind. One should always communicate about the children, even when those children are grown. I call that as someone coming between me, and my children. He’s their parent — he’s the father of your children, you should always keep a line of communication open

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If he can’t understand that your ex is the father to your children and you will always talk to him regarding those children then he needs some help or you should let him go through with the divorce. He’s being super petty and childish.

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He needs to get over it

You have kids with him. That’s unreasonable of him to tell you not to communicate with him although hiding it from him wasn’t the best idea but I see why you did it. He sounds super insecure but maybe have a group chat and add them both to it and include him in convos so he knows you’re not hiding anything?

Your 17 year old is still a minor and if you’re discussing your kid with your ex that is not even cheating. Your husband is jealous and projecting that onto you and that’s his insecurity setting in. You’re not doing anything wrong. If he wants to divorce then honestly I think he would be doing you a favor because someone who loves you isn’t going to throw away a marriage over positive coparenting.

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Ummmmm, he’s the father of your children? Your husband seems very immature…. Regardless of the age of the kids, I’d you’re just talking about them I don’t see what the problem is. Husband needs to get a grip. You shouldn’t have hidden the fact but you shouldn’t have been made to feel like you had to in the first place.

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Sounds like he is insecure but those are your children and you obviously get on with their father so he can suck it up

He needs to get over himself. You do you and if he can’t get past that then he needs to leave. Perhaps some counselling is required. Like it or not… your ex is in your life as long as those kids are.

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Wow that’s crazy what is he 5 seriously ya all obviously have kids together it’s common sense that you would have to communicate sounds like super jealously to me :woman_facepalming: sounds like he is guilty of something himself and he’s trying to make you out you as a cheater when he’s probably doing it :woman_facepalming::woman_facepalming:any grown mature adult would want the Parents to get a long you would think :thinking:

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You are co-parents for life. Tell your hubby to grow up

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He is so in the wrong …& Very insecure … probably cheating on you

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Nah, file for divorce. He’s controlling: if he can’t respect the fact that you have children with another man, and you need to communicate with said man, he has no business being married to you.

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Controlling much. Even when children are adults ur still going to have communication . Parenting doesnt end when a kid turns 18 .

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It sounds like hes coming up with any excuse to leave

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I myself wouldn’t put up with that, that’s insecurity.
My mom still communicates to my brothers dad about him and their shared grand baby and my brother is 41. You never stop being your childrens parents just because they don’t stay little. Eventually you will share grandchildren and those children will want both grandparents there for their birthdays and weddings, there will still be some communication throughout life.

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Your husband is super petty and insecure.
Let him file divorce, who needs that drama.

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That’s pathetic, that’s controlling, you need to speak to your ex about your kids, it’s called co parenting

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Parenting does not stop at a certain age. To be fair if you husband has not made an effort to understand and accept that you need to only talk to ex because of children then why did you marry him. He seems like a jealous child. Not acceptable

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Unless you have previously cheated with your ex or spoke to him in a manner that would suggest that then he needs to grow up. You should be able to communicate with your ex about your children as long as you’re not talking to him in a manner that suggests something more than co-parenting.

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I’m sorry but that’s far from logical on his part. You still have a child that is not 18 that you and your ex are raising. It definitely is NOT cheating.

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Did he fall a bump his head? :flushed: I’d be asking where the papers are.

Not right! Too controlling. Red flag!

He just realized you have kids with your ex?

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Let his insecure, possessive self divorce you, go enjoy your life not walking on eggshells.

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If its about your children he needs to step aside, i mean as long as you havent done anything to sabotage that trust then he needs to take a chill pil because this shit is on for the long run or why dont you try talkignt o him infront of him, if he keeps threatening then oh well maybe its time because trust is every

He is being ridiculous! Your kids need you for life and your ex should be able to communicate with you about your kids

Is he cheating? This is what cheaters do. He sounds annoying as hell. You have kids with someone and thats what grown people do is communicate with the other parent. Thats a healthy relationship. He sound like a toxic relationship. Controlling. Run girl run!

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Kids come first. He getting in middle you know the answer. Good luck

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He’s cheating or super jealous

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It’s one thing to talk to an wx that you share no children with behind your SOs back but when you share children, it’s another story. He has some serious issues and I’d tell him if he can’t trust you then divorce would be the best logical choice. Also, the silent treatment is a narcissist flag. Very controlling. Trying to make you feel like you’ve done something wrong when you haven’t: :golf::golf::golf:

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You share kids you have that right

The Man is insane ! He knew you came as a package and with an X! Should i call you and tell him to stop acting like a child about this ! :face_with_hand_over_mouth:

Don’t put up with it.

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17 is still a minor. You have to discuss things.

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That’s way over the top. You may be better off without him if this is how he treats you.

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Tell him to gtfo it’s not anywhere near the same thing he’s being extremely childish

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Childish behavior. One day I hope he grows up for you

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Honestly sounds like he’s cheating, next time tell him don’t worry you will serve him the papers

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Wtf… sounds like he’s looking for a reason to get out… your ex & kids is his scapegoat

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He’s done hit his head on something!

Uuuhhhhh is that a trick question??

Co-parents for life love :100:

Sounds like Your husband hasn’t been on the same page or supportive for a long time.

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Let him. He’s clearly toxic

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Sounds like your husband is insecure.
He needs to to grow up and realize that no matter how old the kids get, you need to have some base line of communication with their father for THEIR sakes.
As for you, either you can leave before he gets even more controlling, demand the two of you get some therapy, or attempt to let him know that you do not feel that way about your ex and that any communication between you and your ex is strictly about your shared children and eventually if necessary, shared grandchildren.

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Sounds like your husband is controlling to me doesn’t he realise sometimes you have to speak to your ex cause of the kids

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Your now husband is childish and controlling. I would hand the divorce papers to him

If it’s only concerning the kids it shouldn’t be an issue. But it sounds more like he’s feeling insecure. And controlling.

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Ask him if you need to grab a pen or does he have one ? What a twat !
Doesn’t matter how old the kids are , your ex will always be their father and I think it’s great you still communicate when it is about them !!

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Don’t ever let someone give you an ultimatum over your own children . What you are doing is not wrong ! It’s called co parenting and if your husband can’t handle this and threatening with a divorce I would give him a divorce . Because obviously this isn’t the relationship you want to be told what to do ! How selfish of a spouse to want to end a relationship for speaking or coparenting with child’s other parent .

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Listen. Just…no. absolutely ridiculous. He came into the marriage vowing for better or for worse. He also came into it with the understanding that you came with children from a previous relationship. He needs to batten down his hatches, get a damn grip and move on :roll_eyes:

It’s NOT the same thing as CHEATING !!!
You have children together -even tho -grown and almost grown !!!
No reason not to reasonably communicate if needed!!!
Very childlike behavior on ur husbands part !!!

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Does he have kids? What a jerk.

Well, children come first. And it’s great that you still communicate with the father of your children, because these days, that type of relationship between mom & dad doesn’t happen after the breakup!! And He sounds very childish and maybe even controlling! Don’t let him do that, you out your foot down! And if he don’t like it, he can kiss it where the good lord split it, I’ll say’ :pray:t3::blue_heart::innocent:

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If he cared about your children he wouldn’t act like that. He will only continue to do so if you allow it.

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Um. Get the divorce.

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Sounds super insecure

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He really needs to grow up.

He knew you had kids. He needs to grow up. You shouldn’t have to lie.

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Someone is very insecure. It’s not cheating when you are discussing your child’s welfare school etc. He needs to grow up

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I wouldn’t be talking to my ex if my kids were 20, and 17 LOL he has every right to be mad if be pissed too :woman_shrugging:t2: I’m just curious on to what you guys have to say about a 20, and 17 year old. I have cousins that age with separated parents and and that age there’s no co-parenting because the kids are grown lol I’m just curious. Poor husband. I understand him, maybe just sit and talk to him. You lied to him, you basically said fuck you I’m still talking to him , ouch lol

Unless you’ve cheated on your current partner with your ex, there’s NO reason he needs to act like that at all. I’d understand trust issues if this was once a problem, but you also need to coparent with your ex as yall had children together. Sounds like very childish behavior.

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Your hubs is an idiot. If you share children with someone, you should always keep that communication about the kids no matter the age. It’s called being good affective parents. If he thinks your cheating, maybe he’s the one that’s got something to hide and not you. :thinking::thinking::thinking:

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He needs to get over him self :roll_eyes: :unamused:

It doesn’t matter how old the children are

You have every right to talk with your ex regarding your guys children

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Your husband needs to grow up

Ur kids come first no matter how old, get rid of ur husband, he is worthless

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Your husband is crazy accept the devorce.

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It’s not like your discussing your life story with him. It’s about the children, that you share. :woozy_face: but hiding it from him you were in the wrong. If your trying to build trust in the marriage, that’s not a good way to keep it. As you should feel comfortable to tell your significant other things whether or not it upsets them or not.

Change the locks as soon as he crawls out the door!

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Umm :thinking: you will speak to your ex about your children for the rest of your lives. You can’t just mate with someone and forget they ever existed (I know I wish we could but we can’t!) that’s a life long commitment and if your new husband can’t deal with that then he really needs to grow up or move along!

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He is insecure and trying to control you. Tell him you will discuss matters involving your kids and to either file for divorce or shut up about it.

He sounds ridiculously insecure.

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:face_with_raised_eyebrow: i would tell him to start the divorce procedure. If hè is so childish & unfair. Leave then!

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You have children together he needs to grow up. Kids come first! Discussing your children is NOT cheating

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It’s time to say good bye :v:

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It’s not cheating. It’s a convo about your babies with their Dad. Your hubby sounds super jealous. He should be happy you and the ex have a good enough relationship about your kids to have a convo.

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26 and 21 are the ages of our children and we just spent thanksgiving under the same roof for our children and him and I are remarried! Not to each other!! Co parents for life!

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Because that man wouldn’t be walking out my door.

Your children need to come first and if you need to communicate with their father that’s part of putting them first.
Your husband’s lack of understanding comes across as controlling. I highly suggest marriage counseling.

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You never stop being a parent no matter how old your kids get 20’s 30’s doesn’t matter good for you and your ex for communicating

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So you can’t be civil when they get matried or have kids? Can’t go to brit shalom or christening?
What the hell?!
How is ot cheating? I talked to ex about prom/graduation/winter break/band fees/whatever. If that is cheating i must be going to hell for all the cheating i have done

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Insecure - let him divorce you doesn’t he understand co-parenting is healthy but his attitude certainly isn’t !

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I think he protest to much which sounds to me he’s guilty of something and turning the tables! If that’s not the case, than there’s something seriously wrong here… no matter how old your children are, If something happens you would need to communicate with their father.

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He’s dumb. You will have to coparent with your ex for your entire life lol

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Men! You are not cheating, you are parenting. You will always be parents together. There is nothing romantic about it. Parenting is hard work and the children deserve 2 parents who can communicate and work together. Your present husband needs to understand this.

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Omg I speak to my ex every other day and we don’t have kids but he does love them. My now partner of 13 years doesn’t care. My x even joins for Xmas and special days for my kids.

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My husband has 2 baby mamas and his kids are all in their 20s and he still communicates with the mothers regarding his children because they’re still his kids. I would NEVER make threats about that because I know that he’s an amazing man but most of all an amazing father to his kids :heartpulse: also I have kids and my current husband and ex husband talk about my daughter if need be.

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You don’t need his permission to speak to your ex about the children you share. If he can’t accept that- a divorce is probably best.

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Give me a break and tell him to grow up!

Your ex is your kids’ father. Of course you have to talk to him. Your husband is insecure and controlling. Good luck with that…

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He has problems " needs to grow up " just talk to whoever you want to

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Wow id tell him to grow up and continue with the divorce i dont need a 3rd child

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Kids come before any man, ever! Let him divorce you, take half and keep raising your kids.

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I’m 30 and my divorced parents (of 27 years) still communicate with each other regarding me. You both will be those kids’ parents for life and will most likely never stop communicating about them.

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Tell him to stop being petty betty…When you are parents for life!

He needs to grow the hell up !! You’re still co - parenting no matter how old your kids are.

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