Your children came before he did… They need to come first. You should be able to communicate with their father. The new husband us jealous of him for dome reason! Take the divorce. Move on. This will always be an issue. What happens when you have grand babies, or weddings? You can’t go? Cone on??? No this us a controlling guy!! Get out!
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Get rid of him What an immature man
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My daughter is 22 and my ex and I STILL talk regarding her. And my man is perfectly ok with it. Tell him not to let the door hit him on the way out!
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Leave him he’s trying to make you pick between coparenting,which is what is best for the children and prioritising him, his insecurities, This is a major red flag 
I personally would sit him down with the agenda of this is how it will be and if you don’t like it yes let’s divorce.
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The only time I talk to my kids dad is if it involves one of them or my grands…your mate needs to understand that
Your husband sounds like a jealous and insecure little toddler and he might need to grow up a little.
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Lmao. Woooooow. I won’t be rid of my ex when our children turn 18. I may not speak to him as often but I’m 100% sure I’ll still speak to him in regards to our kids. The fact that your husband won’t allow that is absurd. If he’s willing to threaten divorce, he’s not too concerned about losing you. Your children should be your only concern.
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I think he is being rediculous. Im 41 and my parents still talk to eachother about me 
U have children together sorry bet he’s kinda gonna be around for a while and Ur hubby should understand that fact
Your current husbands a fuckwit. You and your ex are parents to your kids for life…if he has an issue with that send him on his way. He knew about these children from the beginning and thats the baggage that comes with life.
Sounds like you should go ahead and let him file… he can’t call himself a man with that childish behavior. Your kids come before ANY man. Husband or not 
… also sounds like he might be projecting his own faults on to you. Are you sure he’s been faithful? 
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He should have known what he was involved with before “I do.”
I’m a step mom. My son(step) is 24 w/ a daughter who is 3 on the 30th & another girl due February.
He has issues with himself that he is reflecting onto others. It is toxic. He is causing you to have toxic thoughts & possibly create other toxic relationships with whom you have healthy relationships with now. Do not let that man consume who you are. He knew what he was marrying into & needs to get over himself & not be a home wrecker. Stay strong. Stand your ground. Your kids deserve to see you happy & healthy
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Tell him fine divorce me& see what he does! Hes trying to guilt trip you and control you when hes the one whos doing something shady
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I don’t talk to my ex’s much bout my kids but that’s cause we dont get along dor certain reason. But I have to say rhia Hammering I just watch a women with her new husband host Thanksgiving with her one child’s father and ex husband. And the new husband wasnt around as much dude to him getting over the flu. But that showed exs can still be around each other no matter the age of the child. It about the kids not anything else. And dont matter if they 50 u can still talk to him about the kids. There is no law on it.
What a child. Insecure child. Duces 
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Can I ask what was he like before? If you are married then the kids are not new to the scene.
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Wait 20 and 17 years old?? Is this a joke?? The kids are that old yall should only be talking about colleges. If your hubby don’t like it. Let him divorce you. Your still young find a better one lol
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Let him know you will always communicate with your ex regarding your children and if he can’t deal with it then divorce is the best!
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Show him everyone’s responses not that that will help much but he is being ridiculous,if he threatens it again I would just say go ahead . Our children come first and a lot of people can’t coparent healthily with each other for the kids so the fact you and your ex can ,no matter how old the children are, speaks volumes on how y’all are doing it right ! I could understand if you were talking a flirty sexual way with your ex but if it’s clear it’s only about the kids ,screw your husband.
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I’m sorry. Wish I had advice. I wouldn’t choose my husband over my childrens bringing up. I personally wouldn’t be able to be in a relationship where my husbands behavior was that.
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He seems very insecure
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Sorry, but that’s childish… He is one jealous sob… I don’t think you’re even remotely wrong…
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He’s insecure. Let him do whatever he wants to do at this point.
Parenting is not cheating
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Go to the court house website. File for it and give it to him.
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If it concerns your children then yes you should have every right to communicate with your ex… hes your ex for a reason. Your husband is so wrong for doing this to you. I’m sorry and praying for you.
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Maybe a serious discussion without ultimatums will help… Maybe?
My husband and I and our kids just spent Thanksgiving with my stepsons mama, her fiance and her other kiddo. Your husband sounds like a d bag
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Tell him you’ll sign the papers
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Wow your 17 year old is technically still a minor so I would expect parents to coparent a child!! I think he is just wanting out and using that childishness for an excuse!!!
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He’s definitely got some issues. It’s totally reasonable to talk to your ex about your kids even if they are older. He needs to get over it and stop acting like a controlling baby. Never choose a man over your kids.
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I dumped an ex for this exact reason a few months in, I have zero time for that, my kids and whats best for them, including healthy Co parenting trumps any partner.
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In his mind, he feels you and your ex will reunite…you may have to just let him go…if he can control you on this… he’ll control you on Everything…right down to what you wear and seeing your own Mother…
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But they’re your children …
He’s very insecure and if it’s truly just in regards to your child than your husband needs to back off. I’d file for him 
Wow I’m sorry but your husband has issues, have you given him reason to believe there is still something between you and your ex?? If not your husband has very low self esteem or guilty he’s cheating on you🤔
He needs to get over it or explain why he thinks that
That’s absolutely ridiculous! They are your children for crying out loud. Guess what, next comes high school and college graduations, weddings, grandchildren. You will always be apart of each other’s lives so he better learn to live with it. If he can’t trust you to talk to your ex, he has a problem. They are your ex for a reason.
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No matter what age your children are, you guys are going to have to communicate one way or the other. Grandchildren, your kids’ weddings, holidays, etc. Let your husband file since he wants to be a little B.
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Your husband is… my kids are adults and I still talk to my ex about them. It’s not like you’re sleeping with the ex.
If this is 100% accurate then your man has some serious issues. Sounds controlling. Parents should still have contact with each other when it comes to the children. As long as you and the ex are staying on topic, not talking about the good ole days. Or anything else. You shouldn’t have to sneak that. Ultimatums are not a good way to set boundaries. It typically has the exact opposite effect than what is desired
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Hes an idiot! sounds like you have manchild…send him back to his moms.
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Seriously 
of course you need to talk about the kids, I would but maybe it’s because that’s what normal non dysfunction people do. Your husband is either really insecure or a control freak. Unless there’s something you’re leaving out.
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Sounds like he has some insecurity issues. You are not wrong.
You are doing nothing wrong no matter their age they are still y’all kids and you must communicate for life about them
Soooo I’m gonna be the different one here. What are you talking with the ex about and how often? Also, This situation sounds like there’s more to the story and we might be missing some parts. Please fill us in as it’s hard to give a well balanced answer without more details.
So, Yes there are times when u will need to talk to him, especially about the 17 year old. But the 20 year old can do most of the communicating themselves with their dad. Unless there’s a bill due for college, auto purchase or wedding to coordinate or some kind of major event, there really is no need to talk to their dad often. Your children are old enough to do most communication. Again, the 17 year old is probably still in high school so that requires more for sure, but most minor communication can come from your children at those ages.
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I have a 19 & 17 year old to my ex. I don’t have any reason to communicate with him as both my sons have phones so their is no need for me to call or text him… BUT I if I did have to call him my husband definitely wouldn’t have an issue nor has he ever had an issue even when my sons were younger and I had to do all the communicating with my ex.
Your husband is definitely coming across insecure and needs to realise you have to coparent with your ex for the rest of your lives.
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Talk to him and ask the question. Why are u going to divorce me because I’m talking to my ex about my kids. Honey there is something u need to know. My kids are my first priority. Then its you. If u want to divorce me go ahead it will only show how immature and childish you are.
Talk about insecure.
If he wants to divorce you over something so petty, he can’t love you
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Dump your husband who has the energy for that crap? #momof2 #thatswhyimsingle
Did this just become a problem? Like y’all are married so he’s known since he started dating you that you have a kids dad and you’ve always talked about it. Is there something I’m missing?
Tell em go head and get them papers ready, then!! Because your child is gonna come first!! Since he’s so insecure! You maybe dodging a bullet, go head and set that dawg, free 
If he feels that threatened by somebody you have kids with… run. Regardless of whether the kids are grown or not, there will be several occasions where you’re both present. Weddings, graduations, holidays, baby showers.
If he can’t deal
Your husband is out of line. Sounds like a divorce would be doing you a favor.
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Insight? Yeah, why are you still married to that idiot?
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The next time he threatens divorce, tell him there’s the door, don’t let it hit you in the ass on your way out!!
Ditch his ass. He obviously doesn’t understand co-parenting. It doesn’t end with divorce or the kids hitting 18.
My mom & dad speak regarding me & my brother… I’m 31, he’s 27… they speak about their grand kids too. My step dad don’t give a shit.
The person you have children with will be in your life forever no matter age of the children you have. There will be weddings , births etc that you both will be involved in, grandchildren etc. sounds like this one has some serious insecurities and I’d be more concerned with that.
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Ask him for a pen and sign the dotted line. Your kids come first, and if you need to communicate with their dad so be it, your husband should’ve known it will have to be this way before he married you.
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Get out now. You’ll always be connected to your ex through the children. Your husband now is acting like a child. Throw him to the curb
Children come before a 2nd loser husband
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Wow this is horrible that you even have to ask. My ex, my 5 yr olds dad came to get him this morning. I greeted him like I always do kiss on the cheek and a long hug. (He came from 11 hrs away). He brought tacos and drinks cuz I had told him I was hungry. My new husband was here the whole time i introduced them. No problem at all. When my son was brought back i was asleep and my husband and ex made plans for tomorrows meeting time to get my child. Its called respect and being mature. My husband says he is grateful knowing my ex is willing to still look out for me if needed because he also came back with cold medicine since im sick. As long as no line is crossed that shouldn’t be.
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Leave him he’s controlling and sounds like a tool
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Wtf 
he’s possessive
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You have a minor child…. Of course you should speak to your ex…if they go off to college you will still need to speak to him. Your kids well-being comes first and that is showing them two well adjusted parents
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so im gonna get kots of hate for this one but w.e… …u dont gotta talk to him about them as much as u would if they were younger…my parents haven talked to each other in probably ten years and im 30yrs old. there was a issue with me and my dad reached out to my mom to ask if she needed help with my kids while i was in hospital ect. amd they ended uo spending a afternoon with each other…it really depends. the kids are grown. theres really no reason to talk to him unless its an emergency.
ur husband needs to grow up tho. and stop being a child. if something bothers him he shoukd talk to u about it not fight and threaten divorce…and no its not the same as cheating…
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Sign the papers….you have kids with your ex. He’ll always be in your life no matter how old your kids are
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Then let him divorce you cause if you have children with an ex. Then you have to communicate with him. That’s so stupid. Tell him to hit the road Jack and don’t do come back…
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Why are you married to him?
Let him go. What exactly do you loved about him?
My son is 20 & if I needed to speak his father regarding something, my husband wouldn’t care… I wonder if there aren’t kids you don’t know about???
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I mean I guess it would depend why you were talking to him. Like others have said most conversations the child could talk by themselves but then there are still times where you may need to.
Me & my bf already know and understand though that we are never fully going to get away from BM & BD bc parenting doesn’t end at 18. We will always have to deal with each other or communicate at some points until the day we die. That’s just how being parents works.
Childish & insecure man 
Umm sorry for his bad luck your children’s father is always going to be apart of their lives, so that means that the 2 of you have to get along, and communicate.
No it is not , you and your X share children and you will always be a part of each other’s lives , he is jealous of the time you spend talking with him .
He needs to get over it , you might try including him in some way so he doesn’t feel threatened
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Um, it’s kind of a given that once you have children with someone you will continue communication for the sake of the children(unless court says otherwise).
My boyfriend knows mine and my son’s father’s relationship. We hug each other and we still say “we love you too” for my son. The only thing I have to do is ensure he understands nothing more will happen. He knows that and so he trusts me.
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No matter the age, coparenting is SO important. He shouldn’t be getting angry with you for talking to your ex husband about the children you had together in my opinion.
That’s so immature ! Unfortunately for your present husband your ex and you will for ever have a connection it’s called ‘kids’, my ex and I have been divorced for 19 years , we still speak regarding our kids on a regular basis. They are 29 and 27,
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Tell him bye bye then. 
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Leave him, talking to your kids dad shouldn’t be a divorce card. Let him go, and take half of everything. F that. I HATE my kids dad and literally cannot wait until he is 6 ft under, but we still talk. When she’s sick, we talk about what happened at school so he can help on his days, when she pukes or something we brainstorm what could have caused it, we just had a huge arguement on if we should tell her that weed is a drug or not cause she is asking what drugs are (she’s 6) we talk about her medicine, when her feet start to get too big in her shoes, what her new fav food is, all kinds of shit. He beat my ass for years, I HATE HIM. But our communication is essential to raising a kid. No matter the age. If your 17 year old got caught sneaking a girl in and then it was another girl the next day, you couldn’t talk to their dad and let them know what’s up? You can’t coordinate sr pictures or talk about his graduation present? Or your husband will divorce you? The fuck? Nah. Next is gonna be you can’t be at the hospital with his wife has your first grand baby because the dad was able to race to the hospital first. F that. F that. Someone else will drink your bath water and check on your kids dad when life happens to make sure he’s good because him being good for your kids is what’s most important and a real man knows that. My kids dad got in an accident and some dude a fucked a few times literally picked him up from the hospital, took him to the pharmacy, and took him to the rental place so he could go to work and pick up the kid cause if he couldn’t get her I’d miss work and it’d fuck up how I live paycheck to paycheck. We didn’t stay together, but that was a real ass man. The bigger picture. Not the jealousy of speaking to someone you fucked 17 years ago. Lol
Dump him! Your child comes first and that means communicating with their father!!!
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You have to speak to the kids dad especially if they are still under the age of 18. Your husband is out of line how long has he had this feeling for and if it’s been on his mind and he’s had worried marriage shouldn’t have happened in the 1st place. Even when you children are older he’s the father your the mother and if there is no communication issues then it’s a good thing. Your husband should realise this and he should realise that just because your talking to your kids father that it’s gonna lead to cheating he’s an ex for a reason your married to your husband for a reason
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Wow.
What’s he hiding?
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You will always be connected because of the kids. My parents have been divorced for almost 18 years, and still talk about all 3 of us kids.
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Divorce your children are first until the age of accountability witch is 18
Dude needs to be let go. Control freak. You are just trying to co parent. Hes insecure obviously.
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Nuts you can communicate about your kids for their entire lives if you need to parenting doesn’t end just because your kids grow up
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Oh hell nah. Gladly sign the divorce papers. Your relationship is strictly about the kids, so I don’t see why men get like that. Doesn’t matter how old they are either , they are still your children with him.
My fiancé completely understands when I have to talk to my ex about the kids. If I was talking a little too much, and too often and stuff then I’m sure he would be upset as that isn’t respectful.
He is acting like a high school jealous boyfriend
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Throw that whole man away. Nothing gets in the way of having a healthy co parenting relationship so you don’t damage your children.
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He needs to grow up.
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You’re married to a small child.
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Kids come first, your husband is insecure and wanting the focus on him. Ask him to tell you exactly what he sees as wrong in this situation.
Tell him hit the damn road
The child is still a minor and parents must comminucate
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Is your ex the father of your children?
Children will always come first and will always need their parents to communicate no matter how old…I’m far from controlling but my current bf has me worried on where he stands with his ex…they have been divorced for about ten years now and we’re on and off their entire relationship (12 years mostly as kids) recently he has been lying to her about us being together and I actually heard him discussing things with her that have nothing to do with the child but rather it was them engaging in a conversation…it was about the covid vaccine and it went from focusing on the child to my bf asking her what she is going to do if she is forced why does this matter to him? It as though my bf finds any and all excuses to talk to her keep in mind she is happily married but my bf lets her and their 16 year old daughter control his life basically him and I have been together almost two years and do not live together…he hasn’t been with anyone long term since then I truly believe I need to run for the hills…this clearly isn’t the same so your husband has no reason to feel this way
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Your husband is immature and selfish he needs to grow up… that’s ridiculous that he threatens you with divorce… tell him it’s a great idea and you’ll pick up the papers for him to sign !!
Also you know who is wrong and what you should do 
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Your husband is a child.
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Wow okay. Kids are not a legal adults till they are 18-21 (depending where you live). As a parent you need to be able to communicate with the other parent (if possible) so they know what’s going on wether it’s health, school, organising if the kids are staying over ect.
Your husband is being a child and by throwing that he’s going to divorce you in your face is blackmail and a form of abuse. He needs to have a sit down and really think about what is really going on. If he want to divorce because you are simply being an adult and communicating things with the biological parent of your kids then let him.
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If he leaves you ,
Let him go
Well then tell him to just communicate what ever needs to be discussed 
pretty simple if he can’t do that well yeah he needs to go
Next time just speak in front of him so he can chill the hell out!!!. And also have they met before usually you can just communicate through the men and not even have to speak to your ex that’s how I like it
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