Why do guys send selfies?

So, been married 10 years, three kids.

Recently, he went out of town for work. Well, he met another girl. I have seen where they have been texting and he has sent her selfies. Nothing vulgar but as far as i can tell she didnt ask for them.
I want to tell him but I dont want him to know how I found out.
Why do guys send selfies?
He even called her picture sexy, calls her QT. She is a nurse and was in scrubs. All you could see was her face.

175 Likes

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Why do guys send selfies? - Mamas Uncut

he’s perusing…sounds as if he’s going to cheat, if he hasn’t already.

30 Likes

Boost their ego. Probably doesn’t feel it at home. Goes looking for the compliments somewhere else.

Just from my experience.

5 Likes

Most likely seeing her

1 Like

Whatever his reason, he chose her.

5 Likes

Move on …it’s called disrespect

7 Likes

Wow you are a lot calmer than I would be. Sounds like a cheater

14 Likes

Lmao if you have to ask u should leave done been gone already js been there done that next

Uh oh heck no, pfft huge red flag, i would be talking to him and probably leaving. Thats definitely not ok.

This breaks my heart. My ex husbands gf (who we’ve become close as she is bonus mama to my son and they have a daughter who isn’t even 1yr) shared with me she caught pictures on his phone of him taking selfies (not sent to her). She had suspicions. He eventually came clean he was talking to someone else. Please know you deserve so much better!! He most likely is pursuing an emotional relationship which could lead into more. I’m so sorry you’re going through this💜

It opens the door for her. Trust me, there is no good intentions there. That’s how all previous emotional affairs started. They eventually escalate.

11 Likes

Sounds like the beginning of an affair…

5 Likes

Taking updated pictures for his obituary of course. :woozy_face:

42 Likes

Your calm because you know both of you are at an impass and you just hoped it would pass and get back to where it used to be ?? I know some people can be calm about things that happen in long-term marriages. Not everybody cusses and throws a bit but then you have to ask yourself why you are so calm is it because you don’t feel it anymore either with the love. It’s time to sit down and have that talk and if you do not want to it’s because you don’t want things to change because of money because of having to start all over and that is how most people stay together for that reason why and to not be alone. So kudos to you being calm about it. The rest in figuring it out is up to you.

6 Likes

He is “selling” himself. “This is me do you like what you see”? Unless she had somehow enquired about identifying him LOL… it’s not nice and I would suggest trying to get your spark back? Go on a romantic trip or something? Make some new happy memories? If that’s what you want to do? And talk to him… be straight up, things along the lines of why (if it is the case) does he feel like he needs to make a connection and reach out to another woman? What’s going on?

1 Like

Girl just do the same see how he likes it… versa versa.

3 Likes

I’d be done is all I can say about this!

6 Likes

They want to be told they are attractive. It’s attention seeking. They will use it as an excuse to why they cheated. Well you never made me feel appreciated, attractive or loved…blah blah blah. It’s a bs excuse to make you the bad guy when they are the ones that obviously can’t commit and communicate.

20 Likes

Because he wants to bait her to see what she will say. My ex did that a lot. Sent a flexing selfie to his best friends gf and she showed her man and her man told him to fuck off and “send your selfies to your own girlfriend” which was embarrassing for meee lmfao

1 Like

For a start imo a married/partnered man should never call another woman sexy, it’s disrespectful to his wife/spouse. As for the selfies, he’s looking for compliments. Which is something he should be seeking from his wife and not another woman also disrespectful imo. Honestly looking at everything you said, it does look as if he’s trying to peruse something more. To me he’s clearly flirting with another woman and trying to see where it’ll go

14 Likes

Ask him about his trip and if he met anyone new. If he lies, tell him the truth. Keeping it a secret of how you found it shouldn’t be the thing you think about.

15 Likes

His having an affair no ifs ands or buts about it…

1 Like

What’s the question here??? He’s obviously cheating

6 Likes

sounds like he’s flirting with her and giving her chances to flirt back

5 Likes

So many points to touch on here :joy:
FIRST OF ALL you should be more focused on the fact that your husband is CHEATING on you and less on his selfies
Secondly they send them so we know what they look like and become familiar with them
Thirdly you do know women can be considered sexy and cute regardless of their body showing or not right?
It actually shows he has an emotional connection and the affair isn’t just physical

15 Likes

More going on. Sorry, he is starting or already started an affair.

3 Likes

He’s trying to pull. Dump him.

1 Like

Send him a picture of hers and be like “hey do you know this person cause they just added me on FB” or like “hey this person sent me a dm” watch him panic a little and if he doesn’t even flinch ooo girl you got bigger problems

25 Likes

He’s clearly cheating. Sorry but that’s the truth.

You’re scared of is his reaction and that you will have to react.
There’s no rules as to how you’re supposed to react.
You clearly have a battle ahead.
Lying is just the surface of what’s going on with him.

1 Like

10 years and you still feel bad about going through his phone. Sorry but thats just ridiculous. Either have trust in each other or call it quits simple as that. My husband and I share phones with no regards because we have nothing to hide. I’d tell him straight up, I see you’re texting this chick so either man up or gtfo. Relationships are simple when you have legit trust and don’t put up with bullshit sis!

Is he worth your sanity!

1 Like

This is cheating… Plz make a plan to honour yourself and leave

2 Likes

To show her how he looks…vane…

I’m sorry but - he shouldn’t have even met a girl and exchanged numbers :joy:

23 Likes

Sounds like he’s looking to cheat, plus he’s disrespecting you!!

4 Likes

He wants to cheat. Run away or leave him.

3 Likes

Disrespectful & on his way to cheating

1 Like

You don’t RUN period out on 10 year marriage unless there has been a pattern of abuse physical or emotional, neglect, or cheating.
If this is a one time thing. Could be after 10 years complacency and routine sets in and maybe this flirtation is a little excitement. Tell him you know and tell him you want to work on bringing the spark back -together . Possibly with a couples retreat. Date nights etc.

7 Likes

He’s definitely on the way to physically cheating. Extremely disrespectful. My husband would never, because he wouldn’t be my husband afterwards. :woman_shrugging:t2:

1 Like

He wants her to want him.

3 Likes

Confront him and say someone reached out to you about it

You need to divorce him! Who cares how you found out! He’s betraying you!

3 Likes

He is cheating. Trust is broken. Now you have to decide,is this something you are comfortable living with r are you going to leave and go live your life.

5 Likes

He already feels an emotional connection to this women. If he’s not cheating yet, he’s gearing up for it…however while it’s unlikely, it is possible he’s just enjoying the attention and won’t go there. It just depends on what you want to do. Do you want to step in before it becomes physical and have a better chance at saving the relationship or do you want to wait and see what he eventually does…but if course, if you tip your hand by telling him you know. He’ll have the opportunity to be more careful…me I’d wait and see, then I’d know for sure if he’s worth it…

8 Likes

Oh wow I’d definitely have a chat, who cares how he found out how you know. I can look in my husband phone vise versa…no hiding. Go see this woman maybe she doesn’t know he’s married. Idk does anyone want to make things work? Why run? Is he cheating… I’d really ask him. I’m sorry, it sucks.

Guys like the nurse fantasy… some guys get turned on by the scrubs & the “care” (sponge bath) type of situation … go put on scrubs & walk around in front of him & see his reaction…

12 Likes

Are you sure he was out of town for work? This is not looking good.

7 Likes

He met her? Like in person? That’s definitely a big red flag. If he goes out of town for work often I’d be wondering how often he’s done this? Emotional cheating is cheating. It often leads to physical cheating. Most women won’t entertain a married man so did he tell her he’s single/divorced??

2 Likes

Don’t minimize cheating girl. You’re allowed to be mad. Go ahead.

12 Likes

Wow that’s cheating on an emotional level. Leave

2 Likes

Don’t justify his behaviour… think of your kids

2 Likes

If you don’t change your relationship now it’s over …… obviously he isn’t happy in it and things need to change if you confront him now about it you might save the relationship if you want to that is. It’s up to you what you want to do

3 Likes

Put a stop on no more Kids …with him, he is immature,not ready for a real serious relationship, If you can, MOVE ON, he don’t have honesty, commitment, ect. His mind is a teenager, You can’t stop a person from doing what they want to do, just because you have Kids, Don’t PLAY YOU R

6 Likes

I meant to say, Don’t PLAY YOUR ,SELF.

He has the need of feeling wanted, seen, desired.

For myself & my partner. That’s a huge boundary crossed in the commitment we have to each other. I’d be fuming enough to just hit him up straight off the bat. It’s not even about how you found out at this point.

2 Likes

Message her tell her he’s married.

7 Likes

I take it you went through his phone and i wonder how you would feel if he did the same… you want this resolved you need to own up to what you have done and tell him you know. Also message the woman.

5 Likes

He might not be cheating sexually but emotionally he is and I’m sure will lead up to sex… if your not prepared to leave the situation why make a big deal about it!!! I personally would leave

He’s already fucked her in his mind if not already in person. May be blunt but he’s looking elsewhere

Tell him she contacted you and told you. Ruin them while exposing him :smiling_imp:

7 Likes

Send her a few of your own and see how it goes. :slight_smile:

6 Likes

You must speak up ASAP. Or you’ll start going a little nutty.

3 Likes

So you married him and had 3 kids, been together 10 years but you can’t speak up for yourself and get to the bottom of it because of “how you found out”…:face_with_raised_eyebrow: Do not walk on eggshells for a man. That’s ridiculous.

30 Likes

Call him out on it, but it does seems he most likely has been cheating. Get yourself an attorney and start making plans for the split. Start now and save what you can.

1 Like

I wouldn’t be worried about why MEN send selfies. I’d be worried about why YOUR MAN is sending selfies. Screw how you found out. Call him out for being a dog and leave him.

25 Likes

Who cares he sent selfies or that you had to go through his phone. He met another woman while he was out of town, it’s not the first time, it won’t be the last. Text the woman and tell her he’s married and has kids. :woman_shrugging: maybe she knows, maybe she doesn’t. Then tell your lying cheating husband that you know and he better grow up or get out.

5 Likes

If you want him to be honest, you have to be honest.

7 Likes

Make a plan and leave

2 Likes

Speak up, he shouldn’t be messaging another woman, sending her pictures and all that. Sure you went through his phone but you would have never found out unless you did so. Talk to him now before it goes anywhere and message her letting her know he’s married

3 Likes

They intent is there get out while u can

3 Likes

Let him know and her you know!

“As far as I can tell she didn’t ask for them”
That means you know there’s missing information, don’t you?
Either way.
There’s a fine line between cheating and being disloyal. Both should not be tolerated. He was disloyal to you and you found out. It doesn’t matter how you found out. You had a gut feeling and you found out what you needed to know. Do not let him turn the tables on you.

11 Likes

That’s not normal behavior girl.

1 Like

Honestly it doesnt matter how you found it! It happened its there and hes seeking attention outside of his marriage no matter how wrong snooping is married and flirting is way more wrong.

Kick him to the curb!

6 Likes

The issue isn’t why does he send selfies here. He’s trying to cheat on you

17 Likes

He shouldn’t be texting another girl period. He could be using that time and energy he using for her, for y’all’s relationship but he’s choosing not to.

3 Likes

Look point blank, if you have to hide it… it’s not "faithful " and your decision is up to you

1 Like

He’s cheating on you.

This is not normal at all!! Think about it. Why would he just send random puc to some girl he just met. Also calling her QT is a definitive red flag along with the selfies.

6 Likes

Ok going to be blunt and to the point!!

Girl walk away I get u guys have been together for a long time and ur probably more apt to overlook the situation but the fact of the matter is cheating and infidelity does not start in the bedroom it starts with unpure conversation and ill intent. If it was just a selfie to an old friend whatever but it wasn’t he clearly has ill intent calling another woman qt and sexy. Save urself the time and extended heartache and walk away.

13 Likes

So what exactly happened on his trip out of town that he feels so comfortable in texting this woman. Im willing to bet she doesnt even know about you. Confront both of them.

13 Likes

He’s definitely upto something but if you want him to be honest with you your going to have to be honest with him and tell him how you found out!!

3 Likes

Girl if you’re on Facebook asking a bunch of strangers you already know!

12 Likes

Thats cheating in my book

4 Likes

Communication with another woman is a hell no. Pictures, pet names and hiding it all, is borderline cheating. It seems your husband will crack at the opportunity. You definitely need to say something, unless you’re curious to see how far he will go so you can end it then and there.:woman_shrugging:

8 Likes

Call his lying butt out!!!

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I wish I understood it myself. It is cheating even if it’s not physical is doesn’t matter. It is emotionally cheating, its disrespectful, and it hurts. Deleting things and lying makes things worse. I don’t know how to feel or what to do in my case. It’s easier to say something than it is to do it. I wish men (in this situation) weren’t so stupid and could just do right by the the person that they are with instead of all these other women. I will never understand :disappointed_relieved:

4 Likes

Kick him to the curb

Once a cheat always a cheat.

2 Likes

He shouldn’t be texting another female period. This is what’s called emotional cheating and takes away so much trust.

10 Likes

I’d be questioning as to whether he already cheated when he was out of town. Unless your husband admits it that would be a neverending question in my mind.

See I’m sneaky I would quietly keep track of those communications all along stock piling money away that he don’t know about. When ish hits the fan(because it will it always does) boom take it all to lawyer. Build that case now sweetie.

32 Likes

I’m so sorry!!! But boy, bye: you don’t deserve that.

4 Likes

If he wouldn’t be ok with you doing it… Then he should not be. Pretty simple

4 Likes

Everything starts with a thought… then he acted on it, he already cheated with his mind and heart.

6 Likes

How did you find out?