Why does my husband all of a sudden not want to be intimate?

Reverse the roles and tell us if you would be the same way if it were you him cause sounds like he’s got a lot on his plate from being a stay at home dad he probably doesn’t get out much since he doesn’t drive and always home with the kids. He may not be having sex with you cause he doesn’t have want to add another child to the mix honestly

Kids? Are there kids from other relationships or did you guys have two back to back? If that’s the case then I’d be too burnt out to have sex too taking care of them every day.

He’s not being honest with you. If you’re not happy and he’s not willing to work on the issues, I would get out. Otherwise, this is your life.

Do you have neighbors? I worked and my guy stayed home watching our daughter and he was screwing the neighbor. But that’s just my experience…
Not to sound d like a downer, it could be any of the other reasons others have suggested. My guy now has diabetes that he doesn’t control very well and as a result “it” doesn’t work.

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There are a million different reasons. You definitely need to talk with him.

2 years and only a few sexual encounters and none within the last 18 months is in my opinion either something medical or he is potentially getting it else where. It could also be neither of these and its something else.

Y’all been together for two years and he hasn’t slept with you in 18 months? That sounds like depression. Urge him to seek some help with that. Or talk to him about it

He’s prob just stressed and tired from the kids. Maybe try talking to him and see how he feels. There’s other ways to be intimate other then sex, maybe try a date night.

Sounds like he could be suffering with depression. Try sitting down and having a conversation with him, ask him how’s he feeling, but also tell him how your feeling. You need to be honest, but seriously sounds like he could do with some form of professional help with the depression

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definitely taking advantage of you

Dear Heart,

It could be a thousand reasons why.

We cannot give you any support until you have had a DEEP conversation with your fiancé.

Please do that.

Until then, don’t let us speculate for you.

He could have a low libido

I mean when Women are home with the kids all the time and they don’t want to be intimate we’re pretty quick to understand it’s probably depression and being overwhelmed/lost sense of self I don’t think it affects men any different being a stay at home parent is exhausting and that might be the problem

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Maybe he doesn’t feel like a man. :woman_shrugging: I know if I was doing what he is doing I wouldn’t feel very good about myself

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Some people have a very low sex drive and it can be a killer for relationship. Talk to him about it and if that is the problem then talk to the doctor as well if possible sexual Enhancement drug for him ( if he’s interested) and to get yourself an electric friend. don’t think it any cause for alarm one partner with a low sex drive you’d be surprised how often it happens.

He’s probably a porn addict.

Talk to him about it. None of us know what is going on inside of your home other than he’s staying home with the kids. Him not wanting to be intimate could be because of a number of things. Ask him.

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Imagine if the rolls were reversed.
If the woman were staying home taking care of the kids, cooking, cleaning, unable to drive, living in a new town and doesn’t know anybody…. Would she want to be intimate? Would everyone say she’s taking advantage of the man?

Just because things are the opposite of the norm, it doesn’t mean there should be different standards. He’s depressed, most likely his testosterone is low, and he’s burnt out! As a woman in his exact shoes, it is hard! Give the man some grace.

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Have him see a doctor

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You are
Going to get a million different reasons… It honestly could be any number of things… Sit him down and have a conversation that’s the only way to know for sure…

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Another person or prostrate problem

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He’s probably cheating unfortunately.

He’s a user and loser. You’re his meal ticket. Not his love.

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He might be asexual or has lost his sex drive

18 months!!! WOW!!! That is a problem! He’s either having an affair, gay, or no longer in love with you that way!!! My husband and I been married for almost 24 years and if we may go a week with our sex butt that’s about it

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Talk to him…ask him. Say something.

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Depends on how old he is and any meds he’s taking been there

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He could be suffering from low T

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Porn addiction, mental health, ED issues, all can be part of it

Imma say
 he is gay💁🏻‍♀️

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2 years and you have kids you leave alone with him?

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Prob equipment issues and he’s embarrassed

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As long as there are no red flags with the kids that might explain his lack of interest, it might just be a low sex drive.
It sounds like he’s always been that way (as long as you’ve known him, at least), not all of a sudden, though 18 months is a long time, I know…
:people_hugging: BIG HUGS :people_hugging:

Honey, if he’s near 40 , that’s low t. Which is very common of men that age. Get him some pills!

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How old is he ? He might have erection issues or low testosterone levels.
Or he might be depressed and thinking that he is a “failure of a man “ the majority of the men still having the mindset that they should be the provider and the head of the house .
In a different scenario I will think that he is just doing it with someone else , but doesn’t seem to be his case , talk to him and suggest a visit to the doctor

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People are so rude! Ignore the ignorance!

You cld be his "beard " he could be more into men🤷‍♀️

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He could honestly be in a rut. Look at all those things you listed off, he could be depressed or in a funk. Talk to him

He may be suffering from depression.

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Sounds like he’s gay.

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Is he taking antidepressants? That could lower his libido. Ask him if he would consider a blood test for testosterone level. I administer a shot of testosterone for my husband each week, not necessarily for his libido but to prevent prostate cancer which runs in his immediate family so I would concentrate more on his overall health then the intimacy will fall into place. Good luck!

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Talk to him
This isn’t gonna help posting it to everyone.

Maybe he is depressed and suffering from low testosterone…you have to talk about it or you will never know and will drive u crazy…ask him why y’all together If he doesn’t want to get intimate ever…2yrs this should not be happening yet and 18 months wooooo how do u put up with that .nope

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Everyone is being so negative. Some people just don’t care much about sex.

He may be Asexual.
Its a sexual orientation that means he doesn’t feel the need to have sex to have a meaningful relationship.
If you are not ok with this, it won’t work.
Id explain it more but perhaps Google it so you can get the full explanation.

Not strange to me. Did he even have much of a se* drive before you married? Also taking care of a whole household can be stressful. Is he able to get out much? You haven’t been with him very long if it’s really only been 24 months. It may be stress, environment, medical, mental etc… hire a sitter and have a day to yourselves. Have a talk. Sounds to me thr honey moon phase has dropped and he may just be comfortable and not need the intimacy. Of that’s the case hopefully you both can meet in the middle.

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He sounds exactly like me when i am in a depression rut. Please talk to him and maybe help him seek some help. He might be fighting this battle alone because hes a “man”. Show him you are there for him even at his worst. Be the person you would want him to be if the roles were reversed.

Men can be depressed, have anxiety, etc just like women, they show it in different ways.

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He could be depressed or in a funk? Maybe he’s tired if he’s cleaning and caring for the kids all day. I would say to sit down and have a conversation. Tell him how you’re feeling, and just straight out ask what the deal is.

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Depression for sure. He doesn’t drive, doesn’t work. He doesn’t feel like the man you may want him to be right now.

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All of a sudden? 18 months isn’t sudden…

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He very well might be depressed.

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It was the same thing with my boyfriend and I we’ve been together for 3 1/2 years. There was a lot of stress and a lot of depression on both our ends. I started getting turned on left and right and there’s absolutely no intimacy. We had many different talks to keep communication open so I just gave him the time that he needed. I encouraged him to have some time for himself, was there to listen when he needed to talk Or even just vent. Lately we’ve been getting right on track again and we are closer than ever. He also does have a lower sex drive than most guys I know so sometimes he genuinely just is not in the mood. I will try having a heart to heart with him.

He could be over doing it with everything else which causes ED. I know when I’m working and doing all the house chores plus taking care of kids I’m not horny my husband and I went a year without being intimate at all because of this issue

Maybe he’s depressed and sad

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Of being home with the kids all day

If he’s taking any antidepressants it cld be tht. But, he can also get medicine to help with the s*x drive. Definitely have a private conversation with him.

Alot of stay at home moms get extremely overwhelmed and tired after a day of taking care of an household. Wouldn’t be an different with a man having all those responsibilities. He could be depressed and needed a break to just relax.

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Sex ≠ intimacy to everyone.

This is something you need to speak with him and potentially a counselor about.

He likely is burnt out. A lot of stay at home moms get burnt out and I know for sure if I’m busting my ass with the kids and the house with no help I do not want to be intimate with someone who doesn’t seem to notice when I’m drowning.

I’d check in with your partner and maybe try to take somethings off his plate when you can and are off work. As well as make it a point to point out and thank him for all the stuff he does to make him feel valued

Seems like you’ve taken the role (his role) as head of the house, so take the lead in this too.

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Mental health impact.
Nutrition and exercise
So many variables.
Talk to him.

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There are ALOT of reasons… he could be depressed, tired, stressed, have a porn addiction, or just beat off to much, or be cheating. This is a very grey area cause it could be something harmless, or it could be something threatening to the relationship… all I can say is try to communicate and talk to him so you can narrow it down.

So you’re saying that you have been together for only two years and out of those two years you have only had sex with each other for the first approximately 6ish months?! Yikes… There is something really wrong with that whole situation. First of all, he needs to be more motivated and find himself a career/job so he can contribute to your family and be the “man” of the house. Second of all, after only two years together, you shouldn’t be already having issues with him sexually… Even worse, it sounds like this issue started after only 6 months together. You need to ask yourself if this is a compatibility issue, a lack of motivation and sex drive on his part issue, or if he has a serious addiction to p**n because no guy that I have ever met could ever go 18 months without some way of “relief”. It’s just the truth :woman_shrugging:t3:

he could be asexual and just not know how to admit it or bring it up

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This doesn’t really sound like it’s “all of a sudden”. If it’s how the majority of your relationship has been I would imagine your sex drives may just not match up. You’ve only been together 2 years and the last year and a half has been no intimacy. It could just be who he is as a person and has nothing to do with you at all.

Maybe he has a headache…his role is tiring especially with no outlets… he’s depressed…he needs a check up…

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Mental health on his part? Depression can impact so many things!

You need to communicate and find out what’s going on.

definitely sounds like it could be a mental health thing. kids can be very draining when you’re with them 24/7

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Idk ask him.
With my bf I found he was dealing with lack of vitamin d. It was over the winter and he just never wanted any or ask for any. I was so frustrated and thought he wanted to leave me.
So I straight up asked him about it.
He said “idk, maybe low t or something.” He said he still loves me and being with me he just felt down all the time.
So we talked further for a few days and I realized that it was probably vitamin d deficiency because of the cold weather and he’s a super thin guy who loses weight in the winter.

Summer came along and well everything got right again. He’s super frisky unless he’s over heated.

I am working on a plan to avoid issues this winter.

Sounds like he’s probably extremely depressed and feeling isolated. Women feel that way in that situation, I know I do, a man would be no different.

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Try being a stay at home mom it’s exhausting, and kills the sex drive!!!

That’s a whole 1/3 of y’all’s relationship…he wouldn’t be my fiancé or even bf if we aren’t duckin :woman_shrugging:t4:

Thought gay as well.

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Is it possible that he is gay? :woman_shrugging:

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This happens to women too. I suggest making friends. Depression comes in various forms. The most common is no sex drive. Have date nights. Movie nights when the kids go to bed. Game nights. We get into ruts & to get out if them we have to do.
If you haven’t, I really suggest getting a sitter & going to a park or something & really talking. Take a picinic and reconnect. Let him know you appreciate him & you want to work in this together. He can have his hormones & vitamin levels checked too.
But, ask always, be ready for an answer you may not like. Listen to him. Hear him to understand, not respond. Then decide if you can work thru this & do so with honest communication.

Ima say he is over life and possibly depressed.

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Whyd you think it would change? Thats what you signed up for…hes not into you. Accept it or move on

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I think you should talk to him calmly. Try not to make him feel defensive but explain your feelings. Not everyone has a high sex drive but 18months is a long time. Communication and comprehension are key. You know him and know how to approach him. Talk to him about your feelings and talk to him about your concerns and needs :heart:

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Maybe he lost his sex drive and can’t get it up. Happened to my hubby

He might be fafafini.never No.changed his sexual desires.:person_shrugging:

He’s probably depressed and doesn’t feel like a man. Maybe uou could talk to him and see how he is feeling?

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I have so many questions. Who are the children for? Why did you move to another town? Why doesn’t he drive? How long have you been engaged?
There is something not right here. If you were only intimate with him a few times in a six month period in a new relationship, there should have been flags, unless there is something wrong with him. I just think there is more to this than what was stated.

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He’s probably just feeling emasculated. And maybe depressed

Could be he’s asexual. Maybe depressed.
Talking to him would be the first step.

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Stop making assumptions because he’s a guy. He may be depressed. Or maybe he doesn’t feel like having sex. If you need sexy more than he does and you can’t handle your needs yourself try couples counseling or break up.

There could be a number of reasons but you won’t find any of them here. I’d be sitting down and ha ing a serious conversation with him to find out what it is. Some ppl are not intimate in relationships and it works. But there is always a reason. 2 years and a handful.of times? I would have been talking to him long ago.

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It could be low testosterone, he could be gay, could be a number of things. You definitely need to have a talk about it.

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Sounds like your typical stay at home parent with low T levels.

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Probably got scum coming around while you’re at work… Put cameras in your house.

Probably severely depressed. Who’s the kids belong to? If yours and not his, Why does he stay home and not you? Is he straight?

Could be he is addicted to porn and can’t get off traditionally. Has weird kinks that cause him to not be open and verbal about it.

Possible depression lovley, my partner got like this when he was on work cover and staying at home with our boys while I worked,

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Maybe he’s depressed

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If it’s been like that since the beginning that’s probably just how he is. If it’s changed then there’s a reason, emotional or medical.

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Open up a conversation with him. It could be a number of issues. Communication is key👍

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If his excuses don’t make since, he’s probably lying. Quit guessing and make decisions about what you want and need from your partner.

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May have problems with depression

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