Why Doesn’t My Husband Want Me to Cook for Him?

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"I always try to make my husband nice lunches and dinners. Last night, he told me I don't need to always make him lunch and he can take care of himself. Then he told me he doesn't need a 5-star dinner every night either. I'm feeling really awkward and hurt. I thought I was doing the right thing bc he usually tells me how delicious my cooking is... Can someone tell me why he suddenly feels like this?"

RELATED: Is This Woman Selfish For Saying No To Cooking For Her Husband’s Grieving Friend?


The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.

"I think sometimes people just aren’t in the mood for big dinners? I guess he could suggest what he does want instead of saying that to you though. I see a lot of men complain if the wife isn’t cooking."

"He may be thinking about making things easier for you"

"Maybe he just wants you to know that you can take a break every once in a while and let him order pizza for dinner and McDonald’s for lunch."

"No we can’t tell you why he suddenly feels like this, but he can. Ask him. Not us. Everything else anyone says is speculations and assumptions which will fill your head when all you have to do is talk to your husband. Communication. Don’t overthink it and make yourself go crazy. Just ask him. Talk to him. Be open tell him how you feel"

"Yes it sounds like he just trying to let you know, you don’t always have to go above and beyond. It’s ok to take a break from anything, sometimes. But I would ask why he said that. Not in a confrontational manner. Just like hey, what did you mean by that? Very casual in tone…"

"You’re not supposed to know. It’s wonderful that you are loving and accepting but you have to wait until she’s ready to tell you. Just keep loving on her like you’ve been doing. But I wouldn't tell her you know. If she was ready for you to know, she would have told you. Grandma violated her trust"

"Depending on what he does for a living and the weather in your area, my husband doesn’t want large meals on days he gets super hot at work. We just kind of go off of one another and figure out what type of dinner works best, day to day. He may have you in mind also"

"Sounds like you take great care of your hubby and he is reciprocating by telling you to take a break"

"I agree with most he’s probably just letting you know you can chill sometimes and not fuss over him. Maybe he wants to go to lunch with friends but doesn’t cuz he feels guilty when he has a perfectly good delicious lunch you spent so much time on for him. Who knows, I agree with everyone, just ask him."

"Maybe it’s not sudden - just ask him about it."

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