So I have a question. My ex and I have been meeting at a nearby CVS for several years, basically since we split, for custody exchange. During summer, he signs our kids up for daycare, so I pick them up from there to start my week. Since I’m home, I don’t sign them up for summer care. So we meet at the CVS to start his week. Out of nowhere, he has requested that we meet at the sheriff’s office to start his week. I’m so confused, and when I asked why, I got no answer. We don’t ever talk at exchanges - at his request. We literally hand off a bag and our kid and leave. He has tried different tactics and lies, attempting to set us up, and he likes to manipulate situations. I’m just trying to figure out the motive here. What angle he’s playing at. I show up to these exchanges by myself, and he is always accompanied by his parents.
I think he plans on planting something and bringing the kid into say it was yours
It sounds like he wants custody. Don’t act indifferent towards him or make any scenes out in public about it because he will likely document everything you do
Sheriff department and not local police department? Sheriffs usually handle and child welfare child removal or help enforce court custody order…maybe it is nothing and just a safer place to exchange. Maybe his parents can no longer accompany him? Idk check into your agreement just in case
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Why would my ex all of a sudden want to meet at the police station to trade off kids?
He’s setting you up to go back to court. Trying to prove you are abusive, I assume. Watch out. Cross your Ts and for your Is. And be ready to hire a lawyer of your own.
Proof of timeshare. Probably gonna ask for more custody or child support.
Bring someone with you. That sounds very fishy.
I would definitely bring someone else with you to exchanges going forward. Maybe he’s planning to have you served court paperwork. But either way you should be on level playing ground. Make sure you have a witness with you as well. Someone who can also be recording just in case.
Don’t go alone, he is trying something shady. Document everything
He may be trying for a protection order soon. You can get them for stalking and/or harrassment. Chances are he’s trying to make you look unstable in some way.
I would agree to it. Its safer for all parties involved.
This is toxic . Refuse me to meet there or request an officer outside and bring a witness. What exactly does your custody agreement state?
He is taking you to court. Trying for full custody
His parents will lie for him…he may say you hit him or something like that. I would always bring someone with me too
There’s an app you can get on your phone to record the exchanges. That way you have a witness. Or get a person of good character to ride with you💜
So it can ve supervised it not only protects him bit you so I wouldn’t have issue
He could be having a Sheriff serve you. Check your local court to see if anything new has been filed.
Maybe he has a new girlfriend and is gonna show up with her 
Just take a friend and play nice whatever happens
It is possible he is trying to get you served
Check to see if he filed anything? Maybe he is going to get you served
Take video don’t go alone!
If it was me I would agree to it. To disagree looks worse. The police station is considered a “peaceful child exchange”, child centered and in the child’s best interest. By choosing not to exchange there it could give the child’s father motive. Personally I’d do it.
I do feel he has some angle here, but wouldnt meeting at a sheriff dept be a neutral location for both parties? Also everything that happens will be on their cameras. You could go there and request an officer come outside. Or also go inside with your kids to the waiting area and have him come in to get them. That way everything can be witnessed by the sheriff’s there for the protection of both parties.
There’s something your not telling us lol I feel like anyway. At first I thought maybe it was a distance thing easier on his way to wherever but being he brings parents now. Doesn’t make sense and I don’t get tried to set us up. Set u up for what
He could be trying to serve you with court papers
sounds like hes fixing to ssk for more time and wants to be somewhere you cant flip out on him? idk…just be super on your toes…dont post anything that can be taken out of context and ready
I think meeting there is a great idea. For both of you. Just in case something does happen.
He’s probably going to serve you with papers of some sort. Custody modification, most likely. Bring someone with you.
I’d just meet at the police station. Everything’s recorded and cops on hand if anything happens. 
Maybe he scared of you
He probably has a new girlfriend and is trying to convince her that you’re trouble so you have to meet at the police station to make his story more believable
Is there a custody /visitation order on file ?? If not I would file
Get yourself a dash cam and start recording all interactions/exchanges.
Definitely sounds to me like he might be trying to serve you with court papers. But you never know. Always take a witness with you, and video every exchange for documentation. Hope all goes well.
Maybe you have history of domestic violence and he’s scared of you?..
Sounds shaddy, record everything, and always have someone with you at exchanges. Dont talk to him, or anything. He might try get you to lose your temper some how, or try start a fight with you. Do not engage in any way what so ever.
Probably his parents idea…because they have something up their sleeve. Fishy for sure. 
Trying to say it’s necessary or yes trying to establish some sort of negative. Either not coming on time , trying to modify something ? Lots of reasons a lawyer would tell him to do this
If you feel he has an underhanded motive based on past experiences and discord, why worry about drop off and pick up at the police station? It’s the best possible place if all you seek is peace , a public safe place ,and cameras, witnesses, and legal protection, and documentation. I would agree.
What are you not telling us? Why don’t you speak?
Sounds like he’s up to something, idk what but I would record the exchanges from now on. And when you go don’t react to anything he does. Maybe he’s going to try and serve you with papers or do something hoping to get you to react badly with the cameras and police watching.
Sounds like he’s trying to have papers served.
I’d prefer there lots better. Cameras etc
If your not doing anything wrong and don’t have any issues with police why should it matter. It be better to meet at police station if you ask me. By refusing to meet at a police station may make you look like your hiding something. As long as your getting kids who cares where it is at
Likely he suspects you are not going to like something. Probably a new GF so he is making it so you throw a fit, it has witnesses.
You can suggest meeting him at the cemetery and remind him what his options are!
If there’s no legal custody agreement then it’s coming
Probably the same as my son’s egg donor it’s all about control and controling how other people see you including your kids
He might be trying to get you served.Where is the drop off supposed to be? Does the paperwork say CVS? Take someone with you
My ex did that and it was because they have cameras on the parking lot at our police station
This is court ordered for my mom and my brothers dad which makes me think maybe a lawyer told him to do it for some reason OR there’s a new girl and that’s what she wants. Either way do it and stay calm and collective no matter what
Better at pd anyway as they have cameras and witnesses if your the innocent one
Be ready to go back to court and police station cameras don’t lie
This may sound extreme, but please don’t do exchanges by yourself if you can avoid it, a year or 2 ago a mother in my area was shot and killed by her ex during an exchange at a local wawa. She thought she was doing everything right by doing the exchange in a well lit area, but he still killed her. Obviously I don’t know your situation, but it just never sits well with me when women do exchanges by themselves. It can be a recipe for disaster. And especially considering that he switch things up and chose a new location, you should definitely take someone with you to record the exchange because who knows what he’s trying to cook up
This sounds exactly Like my first borns father. He’s covering his tracks so as long as it doesn’t cross you, I’d meet him. This was because he had a new girlfriend.
He could be trying to lure you into a trap for arrest. Coached the kids to blame you for some bruise on them they got while playing and get abuse charges filed on you. So he can keep the kids. If the kids act skittish and unwilling to say what he told them to say he can twist their behavior around to say they’re terrified of you and make the lie look more credible. Dont go alone!!
Do all of these things but do not let him or your children know in advance just in case… Oh daddy did you know mommy got a cool new camera in her car? Innocent enough for him to have a heads up. Definitely on the camera. Have a camera. Someone with you…? Make sure their not trigger happy if you know what I mean and that they are credible and won’t cause your children to be suspicious of them being there out of the norm
I know from experience lol
I meet my ex at the police station and even had it put in the court order. Because if they know they’re being watched they will alright and I dont want to be yelled at or attacked.
Perhaps his lawyer said to do it there.
I did it for my safety.
At least you know if you’re meeting there it is safe
Are these exchanges ordered by the court? Or your guys own arrangement…
If you’ve never been to court for this yet, be prepared…he’s probably going to have you served… especially since he brings his parents to the exchange. It’s most likely fueled by them.
what’s your lawyer say? Something stinks here. I never had to have a “special spot” to pick up or drop off my kids… and my ex was a big boy, him didn’t need to bring hims momma wifff. Is a meeting spot required per your arrangements through the courts? If not I’d tell him to kick rocks and leave momma at home and come get the kid at CVS
I’m so sorry . This doesn’t make any sense .
He sounds paranoid .
He could he trying to have an officer serve you papers since they will know when and where you will be.
He is likely dating someone or getting you served.
Bring someone with you.
Sounds like he’s going to have you served with papers and he wanted to do it at the police station for they know where u at to serve u
My ex brings a person to every exchange we have. ( there was an incident a year ago which I had to call the police - he claims it never happened and I was lying) .
We did exchanges at the police station for a little bit but then decided to change it to the front of a Big W as it has full surveillance, including the car park, and it’s a very public place. He still brings someone along 90% of the time , but you shouldn’t be concerned if you have nothing to hide. I would definitely suggest doing it somewhere in public that has cameras that cover when you get there and leave.
Have someone with you filming the exchange!
Get there early and have a police officer stand there with you 
He’s trying to do something sneaky. Dont agree to the change in location. Also, bring someone with you. A camera in your car isn’t a bad idea.
Very concerning. Bad vibe kind of. Be well.
The reason for the police station is that it is a “safe place”. They can also assist in providing documentation if either party did not show to return the children at the court ordered time. It is actually beneficial for both parties.
For the love of God, please know your states recording laws BEFORE recording anything. A really close relative got her ex on wire taping charges for him not knowing, and then continuing to break, those laws.
Sneaky. Sounds like some sort of papers he is trying to serve you if he doesn’t know where you live.
Or maybe the entire situation is high conflict and it’s being omitted generously (except for the “we don’t talk at exchanges, at his request.”)
My husbands ex tried that ish because she’s a narcissistic lying perpetual victim and wants to maintain that role. The judge said nope, you can meet at the Home Depot and grow up maam.
He’s trying to play the victim card, has mum and dad ? Sook WHY does he hand them over to them wen you leave? Just be yourself carry on doing wot your doing because your not doing anything wrong,
Bring someone and have them record on their phones what happens.
Seriously.
Something is definitely up, talk to an attorney right away
Hmmmmmnnn…,. I would have your guard up and start thinking of his motive as you’re trying to find out here from other people’s perspective and opinions which is great keep one up on them pay attention and keep you feeling on video Even though you’re not videoing the sound will record even if there’s not much conversation it might be something of an important someday
As long as you’re following the custody agreement and not doing anything shady what is the big deal? Confusing that he changed spots yes but I’d rather meet at a sheriff station anyway.
He could simply doing it in a safer place. Have you not been paying attention to what going on in the world. If he is your ex than what do you need to chat about. Maybe his new chic dont want ya all talking. Girls are petty like that. Your reading to much into it to make it about you. Maybe its simply about him. Hes your ex why worry. Its not like he changed it to a crack house he did it at a safer place. I would be stressed if he changed it to his gfs house before i be stressed about the popo station. You got chics in here giving you false ideals to stress about. Seriously what nothing can happen. You have to break the law to be worried about the po po. Young ladies needs to stop reading into something so trival to stir drama.
Take someone with you
My bf’s ex springs police station meets or calls them to watch handoffs when she wants to make it look like he’s a bad guy. So basically anytime she gets a stick up her butt.
Nothing to be worried about so just keep on as normal. If you worry then there is something you are not comfortable revealing. I wouldn’t be uncomfortable I’d feel safer honestly. I don’t see an issue. Women. Do this all the time no one bats an eye. You’re good.
Exchanging at the police station there are cameras,and log books u can sign into for Exchanges for records…
Sounds very sketchy.
Why is it a bad thing? Police stations are much safer than a CVS parking lot
Start bringing someone with you.
I’d rather pick up at a police station it’s more safer
Maybe he’s changing the meeting place because he may have Ulterior motive. Like he may be trying to start a court case to change visitation or what not. My ex did this exact thing about a month before he filed to attempt to get custody.
Document everything. Police Station is a safe place to exchange. And start bringing a witness with you as well.
I would talk to a lawyer.
Maybe his parents aren’t coming so he figured police station is recording all the time this way there is proof for both parties. I don’t see why it really matters just be on time keep it civil and go about your day.
I hope you don’t have priors
Well look at the bright side. The police will see that your a good Mom. Let him play his games. Rise above it.
Follow your court order…Keep it simple.
Get yourself a witness too.
Ut o sounds like he is making a power move in my opinion would not be surprised if u don’t have court papers soon I hope not but what it sounds like to me
Please let him know for me he is a big ass child and should grow the hell up. He request not to talk to you then I wouldn’t be trading my kid off for shit. Absolutely crazy and childish.
It sounds very suspicious to me.when he gets the kids,he might plan on keeping them.dont fall for it