Why would my sister in law be mad that I am pregnant?

I’ve been with my partner for 6 years. We started trying for a baby last year. We shared this with his family that we were ready to expand our house hold. I fell pregnant and my SIL got very angry, demanding to see the test but never explained why she was angry. I unfortunately miscarried, she was all of a sudden so happy again. Recently, we found out we are pregnant again, my partners family knew I had a doctors appointment and I was testing positive before it was confirmed but still she got very angry after we confirmed our pregnancy. My SIL has stated many times she doesn’t want kids for a while, she is not actively trying for any or has in the past. I don’t understand why she is so angry, we always got along so well. It’s honestly making me feel terrible, I don’t feel like I can be happy or excited about it around her. Has anyone experienced anything similar?

147 Likes

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Why would my sister in law be mad that I am pregnant?

She sounds jealous. You should stay away from her til baby is born.

14 Likes

Honestly I’d ask her what her deal is, it’s irritating for adults to carry on like children. If she can’t be happy with you then she doesn’t deserve a place in the child’s life… Babies are very sensitive to emotions. Don’t let her affect you, go on and enjoy your pregnancy… Don’t stress because it’s not good for the baby.

13 Likes

Honey if you’re been together 6 years its time to get married…quit living in sin & “playing house”

35 Likes

Yeahhhhh, I would cut her off.

It sucks when people act like that. I know it’s bad but until she can be an adult and talk to you I would ignore her

It sounds like maybe she is trying to conceive and not saying anything, or the more petty option (that I can think of) is she the eldest in the family? Maybe she somehow thinks it’s supposed to be her that has the first grandchild?

4 Likes

She sounds like my ex’s sister. My daughter is 10 and she hot mad at her for wanting to spend time with me. I’d start distancing myself from her.

When I was privately battling infertility I told everyone I didn’t want kids etc.
as far as her being mad I’m not sure. Maybe she’s worried you’ll keep kid from them? Jealous? Idk. Why don’t you sit and ask her what has her so upset because you care.

8 Likes

Most definitely jealous of the attention you both will get. Stay away! Don’t need the negativity of anyone when you are blessed with bringing a child into this world!

4 Likes

My SIL was the same way with us and still is. Our baby is due in a few weeks. I just summed it up to her wanting all the attention from the family because her baby is only a few months old. Don’t let her or how she feels stop you from being excited about this new addition. Congratulations mama

1 Like

I would tell her that she’s not going to act like that and get away with it. That you understand she maybe having difficulties of her own, but she has no business treating you badly or ruining something special for you.

2 Likes

She’s jealous. Be joyous in your pregnancy and congrats!

Congratulations huni too you both, x

Sounds like it could be jealousy.
Or maybe she’s experiencing unexplained infertility and irs easier to say she’s not trying or wanting To have a child yet

5 Likes

Be happy and excited fuck her lol don’t let her ruin it you’ll regret it x

Sometimes when woman say they don’t want kids right now or want to wait a few years is because they are having a hard time getting pregnant and are embarrassed to let people know .

12 Likes

Jealousy ?? That’s usually the reason for vile behavior.

6 Likes

Clearly there is something going on deep down where she’s upset that you’re pregnant which makes no sense 

1 Like

Maybe she was told she couldn’t have kids? And that’s why she said she didn’t want kids? So maybe she is jealous?

She sounds childish, selfish and jealous

Be happy. But is she not wanting kids herself because there’s something the rest of u don’t know (maybe she can’t or…?) And it could be jealousy that u guys will be #1 so to speak? My aunt hates me cause she was number one with her parents because she was the first non married in female and when it was announcedvi was coming her parents were all about me and to get attention back she came out as lesbian. And since all attention is back on her for 30 years an she is happy now she’s center.

I’d have a conversation with her once. If she can not be happy for you after that, cut out toxicity because she will project it on your baby. It’s ok to cut family off when they are toxic

4 Likes

Ask her. Perhaps shes sad itsnot her? Best to ask

1 Like

Enjoy your pregnancy. Her issues are her own. Don’t limit your happiness because of her issues.

1 Like

Because you being pregnant takes any attention she may have.

1 Like

Even if she cannot have kids, her behavior is not acceptable. I’d have one conversation and tell her that her behavior is not okay. Otherwise, take care of yourself and focus on you.

Jealousy. Steer clear of her and enjoy your blessing.

2 Likes

Those is her issues ,be happy :blush:

Jealous thats she probably cant conceive

What ever her problem is she either needs to speak about it and get it off her chest or be told it is unacceptable behaviour and won’t be tolerated and to kindly keep her own council,she seems a tad jealous too.Congratulations and enjoy being a Mum when your baby arrives.:kissing_heart::kissing_heart::kissing_heart::kissing_heart: xxxx

1 Like

Those are her issues and being jealous enjoy your pregnancy and be happy don’t let her ruin it for you both congratulations

1 Like

Tell her to bug off.

Maybe she is having trouble conceiving and hasn’t disclosed that to others. Maybe she was expecting to be the first one to have kids. Pregnancy announcements can make people feel many emotions. As you said - you suffered a miscarriage, you know how that feels. Perhaps talking to your SIL is a good place to start. Family relationships are important. Check in with her about how she’s doing so you can hopefully both support each other moving forward. She can be happy for you and still be hurting over her own experiences, and not realize how her expression of that makes you feel.

3 Likes

I don’t understand how you know she’s angry? If she told you she is angry or upset :woman_shrugging: then I would ask her why……
But even if you can’t get to the bottom of it I would just be considerate that something is going on. All you can do is be positive and once the baby is born encourage her to be active with the baby.

1 Like

Sounds like she may not be able to have children herself hence why she says she has no desire for children but she just isn’t coming out and saying it. Therefore she is jealous you are pregnant. I suggest counseling for you and her to help mend and come to terms so she doesn’t have resentment for the new baby.

3 Likes

So, she may say she doesn’t want kids, but maybe she just doesn’t want to admit that to everyone and has her own fertility issues, or issues with finding the right person. Or maybe she doesn’t want a baby to steal any attention she may get. The best advice I can give is to try to talk to her and see why she feels the way she does.

1 Like

Sounds like she’s suffering with her own fertility issues possibly. Or maybe she doesn’t support your relationship with her brother and is good at hiding it? Sounds like jealousy either way.

Maybe she’s having trouble conceiving and that’s her excuse that she doesn’t want any. It took my husband and i 5 years along with fertility treatments just to have our 1st. It always hurt me when i would see others pregnant and i wasnt. I think a talk needs to be had to get to the bottom but dont let how she feels ruin your happy time.

My guess is it’s an attention/sibling rivalry thing. New grandbaby will create all this attention for her brother and you, not her. She will struggle to create an accomplishment that would compare (in her mind) unless she had a kid too. Likely favoritism in this family you don’t see.

1 Like

I would just avoid her at all costs because you don’t need the stress

1 Like

I had this happen. No matter what I did or how many times I tried to fix things/ understand things, it got worse. She doesn’t have anything to do with my kids who will be 3 and 4 next month. Never has had anything to do with them. No happy birthdays, nothing. She even has a 1 yr old now and we were the bigger people and congratulated, reached out, got gifts for all holidays, and all that. Still nothing. All I can say is that I’m happy to be moving out of state soon.

Don’t let it get in the way of your happiness. I did and I regret that more than anything.

2 Likes

Are yall close? Do yall hangout? She may feel like she is losing you since you got pregnant. She may selfishly want to have the first kids but she’s not ready so you shouldn’t be either. Maybe it is fertility problems. One thing for certain is you need to talk to her rather than speculating. Get to the root of the problem then you can begin to solve/heal.

2 Likes

It sounds like jealousy. Either because she actually does want a baby or because she wants to have the first grand baby. Either way don’t let her ruin it for you.

5 Likes

I would just ask her why she’s mad. She may think that you’ll ask her to babysit or she may be jealous, but I would avoid her and tell her why you’re avoiding her.

3 Likes

Needs dealing with maybe but whatever the case dont let anyone take from your happiness.congratulations to you both mum and dad xx

1 Like

Some people just won’t be happy for you & that’s ok. Likely it is a favoritism thing or she’s afraid the attention won’t be on her like others are saying

1 Like

I feel she may not be as open as you think with what’s going on with her. I’d chat with her and ask why she’s so upset and making you feel so bad for your happy news. It maybe that she’s said they’re not trying or don’t want any yet because she’s hiding struggles. Maybe they’ve been trying for longer than you with no success, maybe one of them can’t? Maybe they’re having or saving for treatment? It sounds like there’s more to this than her just being pissed at you. There’s a hard deep rooted reason

Maybe she doesn’t like the idea of her brother having to deal with you for the lifetime of a child🤷‍♀️. Have you asked her?

1 Like

Maybe ask her?? Sometimes when a woman has had rough pg, miscarriage, etc its hard to baby pg women. Not sayin its right. Is just how they feel. Maybe there is something that happened to her?? Gotta confess i fall into this circle.

She has an issue that she needs to deal with. Maybe she wanted to be the first to have a kid if it’s just her and her brother ? Either way. Tell her that you noticed and you need her to be happy for you or you’ll distance yourself from her.

Stay away from her don’t let her take away or cause worry. You should be excited for this beautiful blessing. Unfortunately not all people have to be happy for you both which isn’t your concern to keep everyone happy. It’s her loss enjoy your pregnancy it goes quickly.

I wonder is she has fertility issues, and instead of telling people that, she just says she doesn’t want kids. I understand the emotions behind it, but it does not give her the right to be mean to you about your own happiness.

22 Likes

Set boundaries and cut out the negativity in your life. Who is more important in this situation? Not difficult.

It sounds like she is either having a silent battle with infertility that she doesn’t want anyone to know about or maybe doesn’t want you tied to her brother for life. Just ask her what her deal is.

6 Likes

Don’t tell them so soon. Fuck her

I suspect she may desperately want a baby but can’t. I would’ve loved more than one kid but it’s just never happened. We never really told people, even with the one we got because I was told it was unlikely I could have kids. We often used the not for a while excuse before I did have one, and afterwards. Or Maybe she wanted to have the eldest grandchild and you’re stealing it from her?

She could just be jealous as she isn’t ready to start hers yet. Or maybe she can’t get pregnant. Try to ask her, maybe she needs to vent too.

1 Like

Maybe she actually can’t have kids and is hiding that from everyone

2 Likes

Jealousy. It’s probably her partner who doesn’t want a baby now (or ever), lack of being in a long term relationship or medical issues with her or her partner. Not that she doesn’t want a baby of her own. Or maybe she feels pressured to have a baby since her brother is.

Sounds like a sibling jealousy kind of deal. You won’t know until you talk to her. My advice is ask her out to lunch or dinner just the two of you and have a heart to heart with her. Maybe you’re reading it all wrong. Tell her how you feel and see what happens. At least then you’ll know where you stand with her.

1 Like

It’ll give you attention she doesn’t want you to have because she’s an evil twunt.

5 Likes

I would just ask whats she’s upset about.

7 Likes

I’ll let you in on a secret when I fell pregnant the 1st time my brother bad mouthed me and said I wasn’t capable of being a mother he hated my partner and said I was ruining my life. I found out it was because he was scared for me I was growing up and he was scared I was going to get hurt. My 1st son is 3 years old now and has the best relationship with his uncle he even cried when he was born telling me he loved me he was so proud of me ect ect. I now have 2 sons and he loves them both equally and knows I’ve got it covered but I can call on him for help whenever I need it

3 Likes

None of her business

Can you not just ask her why she is so angry?

2 Likes

Ignore her. Sounds like she has some issues in that area, be civil, respectful and other than that enjoy in your pregnancy and ignore the naysayers

4 Likes

Had the same problem with my MIL. She ruined alot of my first pregnancy experience for me. Things didnt change either. Good luck

2 Likes

Is she angry because you’re not married?

Yes, maybe she’s one like mine who wanted to be pregnant first and have the first grandchild. My sister in law hated when I also had my daughter and that really topped the cake for everything

1 Like

The issues are hers, not yours. Enjoy these special moments in time and don’t let anyone ruin it for you :slight_smile:

7 Likes

Jealousy at its worst? I’d say Def avoid her and have a successful pregnancy then confront her…

3 Likes

Maybe she feels like pressure will be on her to have a baby next? No matter her reason, it’s bs of her to take it on on you. Live your life, grow your family. She doesn’t get to decide.

4 Likes

She wanted to be first she is jealous

1 Like

Weird. She probably thinks/knows with a baby around she won’t get attention.

1 Like

…………….Why don’t you ask her that question?

1 Like

What I have learned so far in my own relationship is DO WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU OR WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY :heart: I use to care how my family or my husband family thought of me but now I could care less. Only thing that matters now is how your baby will think of you and they will always love you unconditionally. Focus on you and baby right now. Buy the baby items and enjoy your pregnancy to the fullest. You will look back on these memories and tell your baby when they are old enough about it. I don’t mean to exclude your partner in any of it but really just want to say enjoy it. I did that. I bought the baby items I wanted, took my kids to doctor appointments with me to see their baby brother, I got a book that they can write to the baby on how they feel, they choose outfits for the baby, and we plan on them getting the baby flowers/gifts when he’s born. Don’t let them make you feel bad for such an exciting moment in your life. You are gonna have a baby! That is wonderful news! Happy Mother’s Day! Enjoy your day and your pregnancy.

2 Likes

Does she have underlying issues like pcos that make getting pregnant that much tougher? I struggle with PCOS insulin resistance and estrogen dominance and I have a hard time when hearing everyone around me is getting pregnant/pregnant but I keep a happy face for everyone else and usually when I’m alone I break down.

Is it a possibility she might not be able to have kids at all and you might be able to or the reasons everyone else says

Who cares don’t even guess
You enjoy your pregnancy to fullest :heart:

2 Likes

Jealousy is in full force. She probably wanted to be the first to have a baby.

2 Likes

Shes an assh*le dont spend another moment being worried about why…be happy and feel all the joy of being pregnant.This is your moment enjoy it.

1 Like

Maybe she’s bitter and wanted to be the one to give the first grandchild?

Just ignore her, the issue is hers not yours, enjoy your pregnancy x

4 Likes

Don’t let her stop your happy.

1 Like

No excuse for that, period. Steer clear of that negative energy and enjoy being pregnant as much as possible…she sounds like a selfish pig regardless of her reasons, bye SIL, we happy over here!

1 Like

you can’t control the behavior of others, however obnoxious it may be. We can only control our reponses to that behavior. Ignore it!!!

Science has more than proven that babies have a tremendous awareness of their external environment from a very early gestational age, your sister inlaw is poisoning the well with her energy (again?) and you need to get her out of range from your childs outer world

i would say jeolousy cause maybe she wanted to be the first to have the first grandbaby so Congrats

1 Like

that was my sister’s reaction about my second two childfen simply because she didn’t like the fathers

I have no advice really but it’s awful for anyone to be mad at someone for being pregnant and then being happy once they lose the child. How sad?! Don’t let her ruin on your parade and maybe try to distance yourself so she can’t treat you bad anymore?

3 Likes

Honestly I would sit and talk with her. I remember when my best friend got pregnant I was so jealous cuz I too was wanting to. I was happy for her but the jealousy just consumed me. It’s possible she wants to have a baby but her partner is the one not wanting one so seeing you get pregnant is making her feel the way I did.

Let her be mad. Don’t invite that negativity around you or the baby. She has issues if she hasn’t been trying for a kid and gets irrationally angry when her brother has a child. Just weird. She needs therapy

6 Likes

Sounds like she’s jealous. That’s a her problem. Not yours. I would honestly limit contact with her as much as possible. You deserve to be happy about your pregnancy. Don’t let a bitter person ruin that.

1 Like

Yes, it’s a jealousy thing, after I announced my pregnancy with my oldest a week later I was told to “hide my excitement because it was upsetting her too much” :roll_eyes: they weren’t having kids. It’s been hell ever since!

1 Like

She sounds like a toxic psycho …stay clear from that

Girl f her and enjoy your blessing

She probably wanted to have the first grandchild. She sounds very jealous of the situation. She probably says she doesn’t want one now but secretly does. Also she might be jealous of all the attention you will be getting. She sounds bitter. I would stay away from her

3 Likes

maybe sil has a medical reason for not having kids and is saying that they are not ready at this point to have kids. maybe she is just jealous with you for that reason, but irregardless you should be happy and excited and able to enjoy your pregnancy. If you are close maybe try talking with her and both of you can feel better about it

3 Likes

Youre getting attention and she’s not.

2 Likes