It was completely unexpected and out of the left field. He just started packing his belongings and left.
A little background, a few weeks ago we were drinking at his friend’s house and we got home and he was completely hammered. He said a few unkind words and I was pretty tore up about it. I told him the next day and he felt so bad he cried…he told me before he left he couldn’t forgive himself for what he did and it was having a major impact on him.
His friend came and helped him move some of his belongings and he was gone. He blocked me on Facebook but wrote me on his friends account apologizing, saying how he was a f*** up, how he’d never forgive himself and I wouldn’t forgive him, how I deserve better than him… I’ve since then talked to his friend who said he is hurting very bad.
He has a lot of problems he needs to work on. He totally made himself the victim. Which he may be a victim of a mental health issue, but he’s not the victim of THIS issue. Honestly if he wants to come back it best be with a therapist, and a butt load of healing under his belt. That’s not as common as it should be though so don’t hold your breath.
Him leaving so quickly over a drunken mistake is super weird…my husband has had these moments many times but never wanted to just up and leave,he immediately changed his behavior instead and made sure we didn’t end up in that situation again…I think there’s more to the story sister and I’m sorry
Hes for sure cheating why not just unblock you from HIS OWN fb and message you… thats right cause there things he doesn’t want you to see. But he also wants to keep you on a string in case it doesn’t work out with the new supply so he can come crawling right back to you.
MOVE ON AND NEVER LOOK BACK!
He’s definitely seeing someone else… Went through that same exact situation… Turns out my “gut feeling” was right. He’s found his “greener grass.” Remember a drunk mans words are a sober mans thoughts.
He’s a narcissist! Stay away from him. The behavior sounds like a covert narcissist and he’s trying to make himself the victim. I guarantee he’s cheating and already had a new supply in place. The friend being involved is ridiculous and immature.
Here’s the question. Why would you want to be with a man that could so easily and suddenly leave you without a real explanation? Forget about what he wants. That’s irrelevant. The fact is that you deserve better. Take some time to heal and go find yourself a real man. Someone who will show you the kind of respect you deserve.
Sounds like an excuse out of there. I dont doubt he feels bad, but I doubt it’s so bad he would need to up and move completely out. If he really loved you, anyway. I’d have to wonder where those not so kind words stemmed from. Maybe him not being happy, and holding it in. Idk. Either way, I’m sorry you’re going through this, but sometimes it’s nice to have the trash take itself out! Hang in there.
I hate to agree with these other ladies, but I have went through this exact same situation with one of my Ex’s! I thought we were in love and we had been together for 2 years and then he all of a sudden moved out and when I would question what was going on he said similar things and even had his friends and family on his side! Remember it’s his friend so he will tell you what you want to hear and not the truth because he doesn’t want his friend mad at him.
There’s your answer right there as to what’s going on… when anyone says “you deserve better” that’s because they already know they ain’t it for you for one reason or another… as some of these comments suggest but if he thinks you deserve better, FIND better. Be better than what he expects from you which is a pity party and to hold out for him like that question shows that you might be. Cut your losses and see it as the trash took itself out… you will find better
Oh yeah… more to this than meets the eye! He’s got a new chick! That’s why he: #1 said that #2 feels “bad” #3 moved out and on so quick #4 messaged you on someone else’s page #5 HIS friend (not your friend) is helping him keep you on the line “just in case!”!!
RUN!! Bye boy, do not respond anymore!
Cry, feel sad then let yourself heal! Move on!
If he was really in love with you and really sorry he’d be making amends with you. Not packing up and leaving. Love is staying through and preserving the hard times. He’s chosen a quick fix way out. That speaks volumes of his character. Ask yourself if this is the type of love you want for you? I doubt the answer is yes. Do yourself a huge favor and stop listening to “his” friend(s)!!! They are just that! HIS friends! Not on your side girl. Move on and UP! Grade up! You deserve it. Time heals… and makes you wiser… good luck.
He took the easy way out imo.I would move on because he sounds shady.If he was so upset on how he treated you he would be working on making it up to you and proving that he isn’t a mess up not blocking you and dissappearing.
It seem you care about him a lot and that’s a good thing . Most people will tell you to move on or that he is cheating. I don’t know your relationship so I’m not going to give you that advice.he could have seen his dad treat his mother that way and he truly wants to be better idk. I recommend talking to him in a day or two or wait to see if he messages you first. I would ask him if he would consider marriage counseling or couples counseling as that is a way for you both to get the help you need from this situation and also get a third parties opinion on the matter who actually knows everything.
He did not just pack his stuff and leave out of the blue. He’s BEEN gone for a long time. I’m sure deep down you know that. You don’t WANT him to come back. He’ll just just keep breaking your heart as long as you let him.
Be thankful he’s gone. Keep him blocked/ignore anything he messages you. And move on with yo it life. If he cared about you/respected at all he would’ve talked it out with you. He’s manipulating you. Let him stay gone. Or you’ll be dealing with this drama for years
Sounds like he’s done way more than a few hurtful and unkind words. Sounds more like a lot of guilt is eating at him over something much bigger, and this is just his excuse and way to come out as unscathed as possible and so he doesn’t get caught doing whatever has him feeling so guilty he had to move out, but he’s doing it in a way so as to leave the door open to come back later to test you again if whatever he’s done or doing doesn’t work out. These are not the actions of someone who regrets saying something hurtful while hammered. People get hammered and say hurtful or unkind things all the time, regret them, apologize, and avoid situations where it might happen again, and they work on making amends and having better communication. They don’t start packing and moving out and avoiding making amends and trying to fix things. These are the actions of someone who’s close to getting caught on something much bigger and he’s telling you in not so many words because he’s saying “he’s a f*** up and can’t forgive himself and you deserve better”. Yeah he’s a f*** up alright, and he knows you absolutely deserve someone better, but he wants you to beg and chase him, and then if whatever he’s been hiding comes out, he’s going to tell you it happened during your time apart. Beware! He’s being truthful about himself not being worthy of you and being a “f*** up”, but I guarantee that’s not the entire truth and story of what’s going on and what led up to all of this. I would let him go and try to move on, because I don’t think this is going to end well for you at all if you try to get it take him back. And HIS friend is helping cover for him too. Remember that’s HIS friend, NOT your friend. Be careful confiding in and trusting the friend too. So sorry. Just know your heart will heal and things do get better, and you will meet someone worthy of you.
Love doesn’t need to be begged or chased. It stays, even when things suck. This is not someone who’s going to want to work through things, but the actions of someone who will put you through things you don’t deserve to be put through. Think long and hard on that. He made his choice. Let him go. Take care of you and your heart. Call up YOUR friends and go spend time with them.
By the way, that was a d*ck move blocking you on Facebook. That’s so you can’t see what he’s really up to and who’s about to show up on his page posting and commenting and in pics.
I’m telling you, don’t let this guy play you, because that’s exactly what’s going on here. He’s leaving the door open so he can come back, and it’s manipulative af. Go shut it and move on with your life! You’ll see and be thankful and grateful you did!
This may come across as cold but my intention is not to hurt you any more than you’ve been hurt… It sounds to me like you should prioritize yourself! Loving people is a double edge sword, it can be all consuming but you have to remember to love yourself more. Don’t let people take you for granted and I hope you find it in yourself to see that you should love yourself enough to not let anyone disrespect you like that!
Please Tell me you are not buying into this sob story what kinda of adults wrongs someone, blocks them and then hits them up on the friends Facebook. He probably getting married and wanted to post the pictures… have your friends check his Facebook. This sounds so fishy and childish to me.
He just needed a way out and to make himself better, he is pretending that he is hurting etc…sorry, but he doesn’t want to be with you. And his modus operandi is disgusting. You deserve better than someone, who had no guts to tell you as it is.
Count ur gains n say Good Riddance to bad rubbish… he wasn’t drunk when he said what he said. He knew well he was saying n using it’s as an excuse n then using what he said as an excuse to leave . Oh plz!! Don’t allow this man to guilt trip u… he wanted to leave so he left…
So they always say people say exactly what they feel when their drunk. He meant what he said and he’s been gone for awhile. I wouldn’t let him back even if he tried. So play it off with the friend and be like tell him thanks for doing me a favor and when I’m with someone else don’t even try to come back. I’d even act like your talking to someone else. He wants to do you dirty, you do it back!!
Sounds like there’s more to his problem. I admit words can be like a sword but, I don’t think that’s the problem. He needs to see a therapist. Sounds like the beginning of a depression. Maybe he’s using this as a way or excuse out of the relationship. Sorry. Maybe he’s right. You are better off. God bless.
That bit$$$# was cheating on you and used his bs as treating you bad as an excuse. He done well with the crying part. He’s good. You’re better off without this azzhole. He screwed up and he’s not hurting. Keep moving from this jerk
I think the question you should be asking is if YOU forgive him for what he said and if YOU forgive him for up and leaving like that. If he does decide to come back is that something you even want given everything he has just put you through.