I have been with my boyfriend 2 years and found out 3 weeks ago I will not be able to have anymore children. I have two kids from my previous relationship and my bf loves them like his own. I feel guilty I can’t have more children, and he has always wanted children of his own. Is it wrong for me to want to walk away to give him that chance? I have a fear of hun resenting me in the future, there’s so much that can change.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Would I be in the wrong to walk away so my boyfriend can have kids? - Mamas Uncut
I would ask him what he’d want.
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I would definitely talk to him. That’s the first place to start.
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I think this should be his choice …discuss it with him …
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Get a second opinion, on the not able to have kids you never know
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This is something that you need to discuss with him. Ask him how he feels about you not being able to give him kids of his own. You do know though that blood doesn’t mean anything to most.
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That’s a hard one mama… my good thoughts and love are with you coming from someone on the opposite side of that problem. 
First you get a second opinion
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Talk to him. Don’t keep this inside, talk to him and and get another opinion from a different dr.
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I’d talk to him. Things can happen in the future regardless of whether or not you could have bio kids together. He can’t resent you for something not in your control. There’s also surrogacy or other ways to have a baby in the future if it is that important to him. Just have open communication.
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That’s his choice to make, not yours. Let him end it if that’s what he wants.
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Don’t assume he’d resent you, that’s not fair to him. Ultimately he is the one that deserves to make his own decision here… Not you make it for him.
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This isn’t your choice to make - it’s his bit you have to have the conversation about it.
Talk to him but don’t take that diagnosis as a final answer depending on what it is. Don’t give up
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Talk to him about this, what about a surrogate
Talk to him about it!! Why does that always seem so hard to people? If you can’t talk to your partner there is something wrong
There’s also so many other ways you can have them too. Don’t walk from a perfectly good bloke without talking. A lot. See what he thinks and wants. Fostering, adoption , surrogacy
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He’s a grown ass man. It’s his decision. Don’t make it for him. He may love you and those kiddos more than anything. Dreams change. Wants change. Sometimes we choose to let go of and mourn previous dreams because we love what’s in front of us more. It doesn’t make it any less worthwhile.
Yes after you are married
That’s something you need to sit down and talk to him about.
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You would be wrong to walk away without talking to him and asking what he wants… Also, miracles happen every day. Doctors told one of my friends the same thing and she now has a healthy, beautiful daughter
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Give him the choice to choose. There is always adoption in the future that could give you “your” child. Or a surrogate
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Talk to him first because there are always other options!…. I wouldn’t just up and leave esp if he’s already apart of your kids lives and they all love each other. Communication is key!
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That’s a honest conversation for you and him. But if I were you id go get a couple more options on that before you have that conversation.
Talk too him…screw it keep trying u never know…i know people who were told that an thought but did get prego…
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Go get a second opinion and talk to him about it. You never know how he would feel unless you ask him.
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I get it. Even if you talk to him I could imagine him saying he doesn’t want to leave you and you feeling guilty anyways. I do think you should talk to him and also start therapy for yourself. Finding out you can’t have more kids when you expected to can cause mourning in yourself. Therapy can help you get through these feelings.
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It’s a big conversation you both need to have. Let him make his own choice about it.
The medicine is to advance to give up. You don’t have more eggs but you can Carrie his baby? It’s a lot options out there.
Just talk to him first.
This is his choice, not yours. I was told after my oldest was born in 2004 that I could not have anymore kids either. Imagine my surprise when 16 years later, I find out I’m pregnant with twins!! Get a second opinion before you count yourself out mama!
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If it is for him then yes it is selfish to make the decision for him… He won’t thank you for walking out on him with kids he thinks of as his own.
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Unless you’ve had a complete hysterectomy, you can still have children. Miracles happen everyday. A doctor doesn’t have the final say. In the meantime, I wouldn’t be so quick to leave a man who understands your fertility struggles & respects them.
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What’s the reasoning you can’t have anymore?
I know this feeling - I have PCOS and feared I’d never have another child and then shockingly got pregnant after 8 years. Get a second opinion but most importantly, communicate with your partner!
Why can’t you have more?
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Communication is key. This is a conversation that you two should have together. Don’t walk away without giving him the chance to know how you’re feeling. Chances are, he will love you regardless and you two can overcome this. It will save you, him and your children a lot of heartache if you two just talk it out. Good luck momma 
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I was told I would never have kids traditionally… I have a 12, 8 and 3… the youngest was conceived while I was on birth control.
Definitely decide with him. I had 1 from a previous relationship and in my current relationship we tried for 3 years with fertility meds before they said it might not be possible. I tried to leave him for the same reason and he was heart broken because he loves me and my daughter but I didn’t want him to leave me down the road for that reason. Stopped meds and he moved out…still sleeping together and than got pregnant with our now 6 year old daughter lol.
It’s wrong of you to do so without having a conversation with him about it. Tell him what you’ve found out and take it from there.
Imagine how he’d feel not having kids of his own, but loving your kids as his own. Then you walk away and he has absolutely no kids anymore. I’d have a conversation with him because it may be something he’s willing to compromise on. You may even be able to look into alternative options such as donor eggs or surrogate, depending on your situation. Relationships are about compromise. See where he stands.
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Multiple doctors told me I would never have kids. I have two now. definitely talk to him first. If he wants out he can get out. Y’all could also try to save money and go the surrogacy route or ivf.
Have you considered surrogacy ?
You need to have a conversation with him about it. An you need to realize there’s other ways to have children including bio children. You never know he could be open to surrogacy and maybe even adoption. Don’t assume you know exactly how someone will react until you’re truly honest with them they may surprise you. Besides I wouldn’t throw away a good relationship just on an assumption you have that he wouldn’t be ok with it or open to other forms of having kids.
does he want you to walk? talk to him
I would talk to him. He may have accepted that he won’t have any of his own.
This is a conversation that you need to have with him.
Not to mention, there are other options, aside from conceiving the old fashioned way. You could use IVF, a surrogate or even adoption. Unless you’ve had your female reproductive system removed, there’s always a possibility. I was told after I had my twins that I wouldn’t be able to have anymore. Now I have 4 kids.
Talk with him. There’s IVF, ferlity treatments, etc. Don’t give up on it. Doctors are not 100% accurate. I was told I’ll never be able have kids without help, well ended up with 2 healthy boys with out help from Dr’s.
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Talk to him girl . Don’t walk away . You and your kids probably mean more to him then you are feeling wish you the best.
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It would be wrong to do so with out a conversation with him. Let him know what the doctor says and why you can’t have more. (Not anyone else’s business why you can’t)
Tell him your fears of his resentment and let him decide. Let him know you are open to giving him time to figure it out if he needs to.
But to leave him with out giving him the option and knowledge would be wrong.
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I was told I’d never have kids and now I have 3. Doctors can be wrong too. Aside from that I’d talk to your boyfriend and see how he feels and if he still wants to continue the relationship.
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You need to talk to him first. Make sure this is not just how YOU feel about it. While he may want children of his own given the circumstances he may be ok with just accepting yours as his own. It’s not wrong of you to want to walk away so he can have that but please don’t make decisions for him. He may love you more then anything and this is just a thing.
It sounds like this just happened and you need time to let things settle in. Please talk to him before you do anything. In the end do what’s best for you.
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Talk to him. I know plenty of people that have been told that and all had kids. And you don’t know if it’s a deal breaker for him.
My boyfriend was married, they both wanted kids, he got told he couldn’t have kids. The relationship ended over it. Turns out he can have kids. Our first was a whoops because we weren’t preventing because we thought it wasn’t possible.
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He should be the one to decide if he’s ok with not having his own or not. Also it could happen where you do get pregnant and have a healthy baby with him I know a few people who were told they couldn’t have kids and they had a child
That should be up to him- I was told I would never have children and naturally conceived twins 2 mos later
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I would talk to him about the whole thing. Do you struggle with infertility? There are different ways to help you have a baby if that is what you want. You both deserve to have an input and make a decision on this topic❤️
Honey don’t be making decisions for him, that’s not your place it’s his. The only thing that is your choice, is to be honest.
Doctors can be wrong,
Aww I hate you are questioning your worth .You have to talk to him. He might have had a change of heart if he truly does love yours as his own. You can’t just walk out thinking you’re doing something great for him. That is pretty drastic. Talk to him
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Maybe ask him what he wants
Currently in a 5yr relationship and I’m not able to have Childern. We had a long conversation about it and my bf simply said I didn’t fall in love with you to make children I fell in love with you because I love you…kids would just be a bonus. We have been happy ever since 5 yrs yesterday! talk with him and y’all do what makes you both happy…so many things as an option later on.
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I would talk to him first. Explore all the options. Is it possible for y’all to use a surrogate? My mom has been with my step dad since I was a senior (I’m now 30) and they never had any children. He loves us like his own.
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You’re walking away from the kids?
Communication!! Have you talked to him about it? How does he feel? If you both are in intent on having a kid “together”, look into fertility treatments if it’s an option, or better yet, look into adoption together! 
He also might be completely happy with the two that came with you. 
Ultimately just talk to him, let him know that you don’t want there to be resentment, & you’ll do anything to make him happy (which is obvious by this post ), even if that means you aren’t in the picture.
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It seems selfish to make that call on your own when it will affect the whole family.
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Why don’t you let him decide if that’s a deal breaker or not?
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If y’all are open to it you could find another couple in your situation, and see if y’all could have a baby and coparent together with the 4 of you. I see this option becoming more and more popular and I think it’s great.
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I was told I wouldn’t be able to have children biologically, I have 6 biological.
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Yes it’s wrong of you to make that choice for him.
Talk to him if he’s okay with no bio children then that’s great. But don’t decide for him.
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You should talk to him about it. There are options available as well
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I think that’s a decision he has to make. It may not be the game-changer you think it is. You’re still a beautiful wonderful caring woman whether you can have more children or not. Don’t lose your self
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Decide what you need to. But being honest with yourself and with him is crucial.
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Don’t make the decision for him, talk to him about what he wants. It’s totally ok to decide to part ways mutually because he wants children and you can’t do that together. However he may surprise you and decide that he wants you more than he wants to have more kids. There’s also other options to try and have a baby as well.
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Why you posting on facebook…TALK TO HIM!!!
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That’s a choice he needs to make. If you have real love and overcome this don’t throw it away making his choice for him. Have a conversation about it. Find out what’s best for you both.
You need to communicate with him. Don’t just walk out without having any discussion.
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Sounds like something to talk to him about.
a lot of people are told that and still have children ya never know 
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Let him make the choice…don’t choose for him
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Talk with him.
Dont invite strangers into this.
Talk to your man…you might be surprised.
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Have a conversation with him. Ultimately it’s how he feels. I think it’s very altruistic of you to do this. Very kind.
You need to talk to him about this and let him decide, this is not up to you to make and walking away pull crush him more as he loves your kids like his own. Your children are not always of your flesh and blood it is of your heart, love and caring for something that means more than life
Don’t make that decision. There’s fertility options! Weigh everything before giving up!
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There are still ways to have kids, maybe a surrogate? Regardless, talk to him about it. It may not be the deal breaker you think it is.
That choice is for him to make
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I’ve had many couples that were told this. The male really wanted children etc. This is more common than you think. Research options. I had a friend that tried so many things for over 10 years…Told there was ZERO chance. She now has a very healthy almost 2 year old son. Never give up hope, and if your man was truly in love with you, he would fully understand and stick by you. Don’t make that decision for him, talk with him and tell him how you feel, put everything on the table, don’t just accept you can’t. There are so many options out there to allow yall to be parents. Hold faith
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If your boyfriend really love you and your children What is his problem?? You both could adopted a child together.
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There are other options. Surrogates, adoption. If he loves your children that much there’s no way he wants you to walk away.
Communication. See what he wants before you make any rash decisions. Adopting is an option. There’s a lot of children who need families.
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That’s his choice, not yours.
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Communication is key, I can’t have anymore kids but had emergency hysterectomy.
You should sit and talk with him voice all your concerns etc and go from there. And are you sure you can’t have any more children? I ask bcuz My daughter was having female issues in her early 20’s(22/23) and went to a doctor the did a bunch of tests etc and they told her that she was baron and wouldn’t be able to have children quite upsetting to hear in her early 20’s so she went and got a 2nd opinion and then a 3rd they all came back with the same answer she was baron and could not have children and based on all the tests etc would likely go into pre-menopause before she was 40 which both myself & my mom both went into pre-menopause way early I was 37 and have been done with Aunt Flo since I was 40 I’m 49 now . Anywho Fast forward 3/4yrs after 3 doctor’s all said she can’t conceive is baron and boom I have a now 13 an a half month old grandson and she is expecting again and due in August. I still remember the day she came home throwing pregnancy tests on the table like 5 of them lol freaking out crying laughing and carrying on about " it’s not possible they said it’s not possible" her situation the 1st time around wasn’t ideal at all and her son’s dad is uninvolved etc… so maybe get more then 1 opinion cuz 3 dif doctor’s were wrong about my daughter.
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No, talk to him and tell him what you found out.
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That is his choice. Don’t make it for him. You’ll always wonder.
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You need to have a conversation with him rather than just walk away. It’s not fair of you to make that choice for him
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Talk to him. See if him not having children of his own is more important than having a life with you and your children. You need to let him decide which is more important. Otherwise you both might be miserable if you just walk away.
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Ask him what he wants before you make a decision to live him open up, just like you did here and hear what he says
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You should talk to him about this
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I was told by several doctors I could not have kids. Now I have two amazing lil boys!
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No it’s not wrong. I at one point had the same feeling and my husband has issues so he said he also felt that way. But in The end we decided we didn’t marry each other or date each other solely to have kids. And we will do what we have to do. Thankfully we at least got one blessing but the fight for more has been insane. 
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