How much trouble would I get in for going against a court order ONE time? My ex is supposed to take our child tomorrow for the day and today our child had a doctor’s appointment and now needs breathing treatments through the weekend. My ex refuses to come over and let me walk him through how to do it, it’ll take 15 minutes out of his day. I also requested I could go to his house and show him and he claims he can “figure it out”. I’m not willing to play his childish games & toy with my kids health. I told him if he was going to be stubborn I would just have him wait and take our kiddo next weekend when he’s feeling better and doesn’t need the treatments but going against a court order isn’t something I’d necessarily want to do, but if it’s to protect my kids health and my ex is just being stubborn; I feel like it should be excused.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Would I get in trouble for going against a court order one time?
While I understand your concern, google is his friend. You can put it all in a text on how to put it together, how much albuterol goes in the container and how many times your child will need it. Having a paper trail is imperative. Let him be a parent without you taking control on how to parent. You trust him enough to have your child, trust him enough to figure out how to do the treatment without you controlling the situation. I wouldn’t advise that you go against a court order. Especially because he’s not refusing to do the treatments. You can be held in contempt.
Comes across controlling. If you figured it out, I’m sure he could too. You guys should probably stop being petty for your child’s sake.
Keep screen shots or record of conversation of him refusing for you to show him how to administer the breathing treatments and then refuse to let him go until next weekend. In order to be held in contempt of court, he would have to file with the courts and then you would be given the opportunity to tell the courts why you kept your son home. They aren’t going to hold you in contempt for something like that. I hope your son feels better soon.
Breathing treatments are so easy. Alot of people have seen them done in sure he can figure it.
-
Yes you can most likely get in trouble, but you need to speak to an attorney to be sure.
-
There are several ways to show him… make a video and send, text him how etc. They are not hard to figure out at all. I mean he could literally youtube how to do it.
-
Stop trying to control the situation. If he was refusing to do the treatments then i would completely side with you, but he isn’t… he just doesn’t want your help bc he has other resources to figure out how to do it. Men are Capable of taking care of kids too, we as mothers just feel like we have to have control but that isn’t the case. Relax.
It’s sounds like y’all both need therapy to better navigate co parenting. It’s his child just as much as yours. I cant imagine that the concern isn’t mutual. I would like to think he wouldn’t harm his child by being careless!
Why can’t you just text him how to do it or explain it over the phone? Sounds like he is still willing to do it, just doesn’t want you to show him I’m assuming because there’s been conflict in person before.
I would just explain through a text. Breathing treatment are fairly easy to understand. (Coming from a mom of a severely asthmatic child).
I’m sure he can figure it out or he can call the doctor himself if he doesn’t feel comfortable with you going to his home and showing him how to use it. You can document that you tried to show him how to use it and he refused but he didn’t actually refuse doing the treatment and put his sons health at risk.
Moments like this if it about medical that he’s neglecting you can file temporary emergency custody. But you have got to let him take care of his child. He’s his father too and just as much his parent. If you’re worried call for a welfare check. Has he neglected the child in the past? What makes you think he can’t care for his child? What your describing he should be able to do. Let this man care for his child on his time. Do not break a custody order. You don’t have to teach him. He can easily go to a pharmacist if he has questions. Calm down.
For God’s sake. I’m sure he can give the breathing treatments. He is the father. They do do things for their kids.
It would not look good for him if he can’t be bothered to stop by or let you stop by to show him what needs to be done if he did try to get you for contempt of court. Seldom would a lawyer or judge even bother with a case where one time you did this for health reasons. You are not keeping your son from him and offered the next weekend. The police would just call it a civil case and wouldn’t be a part in any of it. Your child’s health comes first.
He never refused to do the treatment he just don’t want you to show him. Breathing treatments aren’t hard to figure put and the meds come with instructions. I understand your concern but it sounds like you are being petty because he dont wanna come to your house.
He isn’t saying he won’t do the treatments……they’re really not that complicated. Let him have his child.
Make a video of you doing the breathing treatment with your kid and send it to him.
Breathing treatment isn’t hard just tell him to take the liquid and put it in the cylinder screw it back in place turn on the machine and put mask over kids face there is no reason for u to go to his house or him come to ur house just explain it
If hr refused to learn, he may refuse to give the treatment. He is not doing what is best for his child.
I have dealt with this issue. My sons father refused to give him his medications. I ended up filing an emergency petition to have a judge order him to give him his meds. To answer your question, this is a civil matter. If you decide not to allow him to take your child and he calls the police they will come and tell him it’s a civil matter and he should take it up with the courts. They won’t take your child away from you. IF they try…. Demand a supervisor to the scene and record everything. I’m married to a retired police officer and I’ve had more than enough experience with the courts. OP feel free to PM me. Protect your baby.
I understand your concern as a mother 100% but breathing treatments are not that hard to figure out. You aren’t giving your ex the chance to be a parent and figure it out you are just telling him you’re going to keep your kid home for the weekend so you can do the treatments because he won’t let you show him how to do it. That isn’t fair to your child nor your ex. I wouldn’t break court order you can be in a lot of trouble for it and just call to check on your kid while he is at dads house.
So, you want to hold your son from his dad because you don’t have the control of showing him? Pretty sure almost everyone knows how to work a breathing treatment. Dad never refused to give to him, & im sure he’s more than capable of figuring it all. All you have to say is, “if you have any questions about it or need help, just let me know.”
I feel like people here aren’t seeing the dad’s behavior for what it is - weaponized incompetence. There’s a reason that these two aren’t together and I would bet good money that this is why. She’s right not to trust him with her child’s health and I bet he’s all bark anyway and too lazy to actually go through with filing a contempt charge. If he does, I’d counter and change the arrangements to accommodate for this kind of situation. Mom’s instincts are right and I feel like most of the comments giving dad the benefit of the doubt are incorrect to do so.
That’s how my friend lose her kid now the dad has full custody-- first was not letting him see her because of a school’s "activity " all weekend he went and reported that he didn’t have his week with his daughter — the second time was because she want to getaway just her and their daughter-- will when his attorney heard about they went back to court and the judge order full custody to him — we all very happy that she did what she did now she’s the one only seeing their daughter every other week — we all stand behind him his girl is more important then a “getaway” ----- all parents moms and dads watch out what you say and do judge will notice
He’s a grown man and you’re treating him like a kid. He can easily figure out how to administer the breathing treatment. It’s not hard. You’re holding y’all’s child over his head bc he’s not letting you get your way and control things. He’s not refusing to administer it. Literally the only issue is you not getting your way.
Do what is best for your kid and risk it. Save all text messages if you have them where he says he’ll figure it out for back up. Record the conversations if you can. I’d rather get in trouble rather than risk my child’s health.
It’s a breathing treatment. I’ve been doing them myself since I was about 10. You literally just screw the cap off, twist the cap to the solution off, pour the solution in, put the cap to the neb back on, turn it on, and breathe until the solution is out. Why not just send him instructions on how to do it with it being so simple instead of going against court order? I understand worrying about your child’s health but you need to atleast give their father the opportunity to show that he can be a responsible parent. If you don’t give him the chance how will he ever be able to show you he’s capable? 
You’ll get in trouble. If he isn’t saying he’ll refuse to do the treatment then there isn’t much you can do.
I don’t understand why both parents don’t have a vested interest in the well-being of their child. Although, I don’t advise breaking the law…
First he would have to set a date with the court
If it goes that far and you explain what happened and it would be thrown out (I doubt it would go that far as it would take effort on his part)
Call Childrens services and tell them about situation and protect your childs health as you EX is SUPPOSED to.
Depends on how big an asshole he is
He can watch a you tube video on it…better not break custody order …
Just let him figure it out surely there are instructions on the meds/treatment.
Yeeeeaaahh though your feelings are in the right place…your feelings are not above the court. They wont care. Or maybe they will… The court system always favors women so who knows. Try it n let us know how it goes lol I hope your kid gets better though… Dads bein kinda jerky
Im sure he can look up on youtube how to use a nebulizer.
Breathing treatments aren’t complicated. Write it down for him
I feel like an adult who is safe enough to take your children to their home can follow a simple written instruction on a breathing treatment. Look for a YouTube tutorial for them, make sure they have the drs phone number and write out the dosage and how often. I understand being concerned but I also understand if they prefer not to be in contact with you but still want to spend time with their child they don’t have to do it your way.
When he comes to pick the child up show him how to do it
He can figure it out. It’s not fucking rocket science. It doesn’t look good in court that’s for sure.
If he is refusing to learn in order to help his child’s health then he can miss out. He’s being ridiculous.
I don’t understand why you want to keep him from his father though? I’m pretty sure he won’t risk his child’s life by not treating him.
Yes. Contempt of court
Do what u need to but get advice from a lawyer. I’d hate for u to face consequences over ur human right as a mother.
Hes being a awkward…to say the least and if it were me i would be concerned too. Like the lady above said by the time he has court date set it will be over and he will have normal visitation…
Send a YouTube video or Make a video of you doing the breathing treatment with your kid and send it to him. Problem solved they are his kids to.
When my child had things they needed I wrote step by step instructions on what was needed to be done. I wouldn’t break the court order. I was told sick or not the other parent is capable to take care of their child until proven otherwise. Keep screenshots of him not willing to take the time and also if the note you send. I watched my ex go to jail for him not bringing our children back to me as he was in contempt of court. So please don’t assume that can’t happen. If he doesn’t follow the instructions you can file to say he is a danger.
Me personally I would say next weekend if he shows no interest in hearing about treatment. Love how everyone jumps on his side. Use your best judgement Mom!
YouTube is a thing. There’s no reason the child’s father can’t also take care of the sick kiddo. It’s one day. Stick to the court order.
YOU are the one being stubborn. Its a court order, he’s an adult and can figure it out… You can go to jail for violating or lose your rights… You sound PETTY.
Breathing treatments are not that difficult for any parent… that is his father and you sound manipulative
It’s not hard to do a breathing treatment and if you need to show him it can be done when he picks the child up. Also write the directions out and put them in the nebulizer bag.
You would be in contempt of the court order…but its worth it…and honestly i think a judge would agree… just make sure you have proof of him refusing
Nothing not for medical reasons it will go against him I know this for a fact at least in Indiana that’s how it os
Send him a video or send him the instructions through text
Sounds like he does not need you to tell him what he needs to do and would rather not deal with you. I cant stand people that think that your way is the best way… You had a child with this man. He couldnt have been all that bad. Please stop trying to still dictate what goes on in his home.
He literally has to learn how to do it … Just like you had to … He will figure it out … he isn’t going to just let something bad happen to his child.
It’s not just YOUR kid. It’s his kid too. Dads have to figure stuff out on their own just as well. Simply text him how to administer the treatment and when. Then tell him to call if he needs help with it.
You should definitely not go against a court order, the court doesn’t care why! Unless you notify them first, they’re just going to say that the father can also take care of his child. I’m not too sure, is there a reason that your ex doesn’t want to be around you? It’s just my opinion that you should not go against a court order unless the ex agrees and won’t get you into trouble over it!? Just send him with written instructions 
You will still get in trouble. The court does not care your reasoning. Contempt is contempt. He told you he will figure it out and he will. You cant just keep thee kid cus you THINK the dad cant do it.
You should let his father “figure it out” he can read instructions
I wouldn’t violate a court order over this. What I’d suggest is writing step by step down. Finding a YouTube video to show. To be honest, breathing treatments aren’t hard to figure out. Let him be a dad.
Child is clearly very ill, can’t go anywhere 
the police will not drag a sick child out, and the court will laugh at him before they throw him out, if he tries to make a big deal about it. It’s one weekend, not forever 
You gotta drop the kid off and hope the father will care for the child if not you can go back to court
I saw somewhere someone said make a video of how the breathing treatments work. I use them on my sim and they are very easy to use. Personally it sounds like you want to hold the kid home just because you don’t feel like dealing with baby dad. This isn’t between you two anymore. This will only hurt kids if you hold them. Just let him go to his dads and he said he’d figure out the treatments. He also doesn’t want to deal with any drama with you.
Save all correspondences and don’t send your kid. If he decides to be a dick and take you to court then explain to the judge the situation and stress that you thought it was in the best interest for the kid and not to be malicious. You should be okay. Good luck.
Nothing will happen for the first and only time you’re in contempt. Slap on the wrist.
While it should be excused, it won’t… he’s the child other parent and can handle giving him the treatments. Now if he doesn’t end up giving them you will have a case
Are you sure the treatments are why you are trying to get him to come in your house or you in his? 
breathing treatments are pretty simple to figure out. This should not be a thing. You should send the meds…the nebulizer with written instructions to time and dosage… explain through phone or text how important the treatments are for the child… and quit trying to force ex to conform to your rules or else.
In Australia, he would need to apply for an enforcement order if you break a court order. However, if you have evidence that’s he’s refusing education on a health issue and it’s only this time, a magistrate would be likely to tell him to grow up and accept the education otherwise you’d be in your right to refuse time while your son is sick.
Not sure where you are located, but breaking a court order is allowable if you have sufficient reason to do so (health and safety is the right of the child and the right of the child trumps the rights of the parents).
Only if you do it multiple times. Even then he’ll have to hire an attorney and take you to court
Depending on the state, the worst he could do is hold you in contempt, which requires a lawyer and a court date. They’d send you a paper saying you have to appear and explain why you didn’t sent the child with his dad. If you have a valid reason and feel comfortable with not sending him because you don’t think he’d give the treatments, don’t send him.
Make a video or let him youtube it its not difficult pick your battles this aint it
sounds like you just wanna be around him that’s all🤣 that man does NOT have to come over your house for 15 minutes … text him the instructions Or record a video of YOU doing it. The only stubborn one is you because he’s not doing it your way🙃
No one here can tell you yes or no. Please be sure you have all of this correspondence documented that he has refused to allow you to show him how to do it! Also, in writing tell him to have a nurse or medical professional show him since he will not allow you too. I would not compromise or risk the child’s health. Be sure and leave message with your attorney and keep the child with you.
My 6 year old gives himself breathing treatment
Don’t send him. Your child’s health isn’t a toy like he is trying to play with it.
Kid’s health is first and your ex doesn’t
I’m sure he can figure it out, it’s not rocket science.
My son knew how to do his own breathing treatment at 4. Let your son do it himself. If he gets worse at his dads. Go back to court and claim medical neglect on your ex…
My ex did this crap and I even walked him through everything AND left notes so he knew what to do, how much, when to do it, etc…kid came back worse and I ended up missing almost a week of work until my kid was better and had to go to another doctor appointment for more antibiotics because he stopped the previous round and “lost them”. When I got my son back, the prescription should have still had 3 days on it.
I’m dealing with a narcissist and any way he can inconvenience me is perfect for him…despite my child’s well being. He’s better now because my child is older and from dealing with the ignorance of his SD (spëřm don0r) he has an excellent grasp on self care and management. When he tries to pull something, child goes “nope” and then won’t because he knows better.
Take care of your kid. They always come first and if you have proof that he won’t be bothered to do what needs done for the health and safety of the child, they’ll excuse it. I’d honestly just make up the time. Give him 2 weekends in a row or whatever.
I just tell my ex that “you wouldn’t want to take care of him right now because of reasons and it’s better for him to stay here and get better rather than to go back and forth” I make it seem as inconvenient for him/me as possible so that he thinks I’m suffering and he doesn’t have to take the responsibility. Works every time.
Could you set the machine up for him and just let him plug it in and turn it on
Don’t go against the court order. He will figure it out
I hope you have the conversation in text. Proof for the court he’s a jerk. You don’t just figure it out
Record a video or wrtie it in a text… it cant be rocket science qnd regardless theres likely a youtube video he can watch
It aounds like youre looking for a reason to keep the child home but if a court order is in place u meed to remember hes still that childs father and assume he wants the best for them and to look after them. This doesnt require a house visit to explain
Tbf I know your scared for your sons health but do you think he would google it or phone the doctor to learn how to give it to your son properly or do you think he won’t give it to your son? If your concern is that he won’t give it to your son that’s a whole different thing
But if he is just refusing for you to control him & his contact then I get where he is coming from as will the courts as you can’t control the situation and when your son does and doesn’t go to his dad’s and feels like this is an excuse not to send him tbh am just saying how it sounds as thos isn’t hard to figure out plus you can send instructions on how to administer it and just leave the rest up to him that way your not controlling the contact or stopping it and hopefully he still gives it to you son for your son to get better am sure he will figure it out though he is a grown man and unless he has the brain of a 5yr old then he will figure it out am sure
U don’t have the right to break the court order. PERIOD. If u feel he is neglecting the child then document any incidents and go from there . But this is petty. I understand your child is sick and that’s hard on any parent but u can’t use it as an excuse to keep the child during his time. I’m sounds like you and the father have some issues . I’d suggest either counseling for u both or yourself. One suggestion is don’t use your child as a weapon. You both went to court and have a custody agreement. Stick to it and don’t use the child . There are plenty of videos on breathing treatments. Make a schedule of med time and text before bed to make sure all is well.
Best of luck to u and your family
I think your being ridiculous I’m sure he can figure it out
Controlling much? I can’t imagine why you’re an ex… he’s an adult as well, let him be a dad, he’ll figure it out.
Yea i would just call your lawyer and tell your ex that idea. He dont wont to mess with that. That is why he is act8ng that way.
Breathing treatments are not that hard to do. Sounds like you don’t trust him, it sounds like you are looking for a reason not to let your kid go
If it’s medical reasoning I don’t think you can get in trouble at all. That’s the health of your child.
Make sure u have text messages to back up what u and the dad are saying because it will help u if u just do it by word of mouth it turns into he said she said and u will get into alot more trouble
Save all correspondence. Dont send
It really depends on your state and county. My friend in the county next to me was told she doesn’t have to send her kid if they are sick or don’t want to go and I get told in my county that I can be held in contempt.
You sound really controlling… it’s not rocket science, he can and will figure out how to use the machine. Send him a text with directions and move on about your day. It’s his kid too and he has every right to have him for his days and to figure out the machine how ever he chooses to.
Send the instructions with the machine…they are not hard to figure out and let him go to his dad’s
My ex broke court orders every week and wasn’t punished once 
Why can’t you just make a short video about hom to use it and send it to him?
Call the cops to get your child back and tell them the situation
Is he not competent to figure it out I mean I understand being protective but why couldn’t he figure it out it’s pretty easy and I’m sure most people could figure it out it