Would it upset your if your MIL had no photos out of your family?

Would you be upset if your mother in law does not have any photos setting out of the baby you had with her son… but has photos of her other grandkids?? Like legit had photos of every single grandkid except yours? Yea their all updated photos. She lives 5 miles away. Baby is a year old… also she never got him anything for his first birthday but has a big party for all her other grand kids.

128 Likes

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Would it upset your if your MIL had no photos out of your family?

She’s the biggest hater ever

1 Like

You tell a good “feel sorry for me story”. But what’s the rest? Does she have a good relationship with her son? Do you give her reason not to want to display pictures if your son? Is she allowed to see baby often? Have you given her pictures? There’s so much that’s not being told.

10 Likes

I would totally send a nice picture of baby in a nice picture frame. If she puts it up great if not you know she is doing it with intent. Sounds like there is a bigger back story

16 Likes

Did you ever give her a framed picture?

5 Likes

Nah, who cares. It’s her house she can hang whoever she wants on her walls.

Are you the only daughter in law? I ask because my MIL said to me my daughter’s children are closer to me because my daughter’s gave birth to them.

2 Likes

The first time I ever went into my MIL house (19 years ago) the only thing on her wall was an 11x14 glamor shot of herself. That told me everything g I ever needed to know about her in that one moment. Note: she has four children :roll_eyes::roll_eyes:

8 Likes

Sadly I know this feeling my mother in law has pictures of all her grandkids up but the one I had with her son. His brothers picture was up but not my son’s. So I finally said something about it one day. And she told me that she guess she just has to take them all down then… I was very upset that she wouldn’t just put one instead of taking down.

4 Likes

I wouldn’t worry about it…….
Back when my first was born it was the old school photo rolls that you had to develop. I would develop 3 copies. One for my mum, in-laws and a copy for ourselves. My mum would take all the photos in that envelope, while my in laws would kept 1 family photo and all photos of their son and baby, and gave back any photos that had me in them. :woman_facepalming:t3::joy:
Focus on your family and flood your home with beautiful photos.
I now know why they call in-laws outlaws.

3 Likes

There has to be a reason why, so depending on the reason I would or would not be. But I would ask my husband what he thinks and then maybe ask your MIL to why that is…? :woman_shrugging:t2:

1 Like

I don’t dwell on stupid shit… definitely have better things to do.

My mil was the same with my first as all the other grandkids photos were all over her house so I gave her a photo framed for Christmas everyone saw it and she had to put it up and then after that as non of the others were having more kids and I did she asked me for a photo . To be honest I think all her old friends were asking to see photos of my kids which made her ask for one so they stop asking her.

Maybe they were gifts? Have you given her a framed picture of your baby?

5 Likes

My MIL has not ever had pics of us or my kids on her walls. She does have my granddaughter, her great granddaughter displayed but it does not bother me at all. We even live 300 miles away and see her maybe 6 times a year due to our work schedules. We text once in awhile and have face time but she doesn’t do that. It doesn’t bother my hubby or I.

Did you ever reach out to her and have a talk- maybe take a day just the two of you

Don’t sweat the small stuff. Trust me. It’s not worth it. Give her a framed family photo and just walk away. Don’t question about it and don’t give suggestions where to hang it. If it’s hung up next time you go or not,you’ll have your answer. But, if it’s not hung up. Walk away for good. Don’t look back or complain. Your better off without her. So is your child. Let her be the petty , immature one. Rise above it.

16 Likes

I would definitely be upset. My situation is a little different because my first two children are not biologically my husbands but he adopted them. But my MIL would blatantly treat them differently than her blood related grandkids. The gifts she would give them were scraps compared to what she gave to her blood grandchildren. But I never said anything because gifts are gifts and they are nice regardless. But I did notice she would always skimp on our kids and go ham for all the others. As far as pictures go, I think there was maybe one or two of them up but they were literally just for show. She acted like she liked me and my kids to her family in person and then would tell my husband to divorce me behind closed doors. She’s friggen batshit insane. MIL’s can be so toxic. And unfortunately, if there’s beef with you that automatically effects their views of your kids often times I feel like. Not always. But I feel like it’s a trend.

2 Likes

Exactly how mine is. We gave her a photo (framed and everything) of the baby with dad since she doesn’t acknowledge myself or my older two kids, and it is nowhere to be seen. We gave her a Christmas card of baby’s first Christmas from all the kids, one of those photo ones, also nowhere to be found.

But her other grandson, pictures all over the house.

2 Likes

I’d stop going there…she knows that you have noticed this…pretty clear that she really doesn’t want to see your child if there is no pictures of it in her home…out of sight…out of mind…and when she or if she ever asks why , you and the child never come around…point out the fact that there is no pictures of this son and his family in your home so we must not be important enough to you and we don’t want to go where we’re not wanted…

4 Likes

Some MIL can be really weird. But as I see it it falls on her.

2 Likes

Oh that cold heart and sad :pensive: . You need to ask her why ?

Gift her a big photo of Bub, see if it gets put up.

9 Likes

My mother in law screen shots every photo of me and my kids even tho one child isn’t even hers and I’m not with her son anymore. Any photo with the kids even if I’m in it shes screen shots it on snap. My other mother in law has no photos with me in it but also includes both my children as her family. Sooo it goes either way. Depends on the mother in law.

2 Likes

Have you or her son asked why. I would

Favouritism! I think it’s disgusting every child or grandchild should be treated the same. X

2 Likes

Give her a beautiful framed one of your baby as well as a picture of you and her son with your child

7 Likes

Yes it’s upsetting, you can’t reason with someone like that.

1 Like

I’d be hurt but then blocked her ass out of our lives and be done with it. We can be happy without hating ass people in ours and our kids lives. I’m glad I have THE BEST mother in law though, who I love❤.

She does not, she has pics of grandkids that are not even hers. The women lied about my husband being the father. She will not take them down. Has not seen them in years. Will not accept my son as a grandchild nor me as her daughter in law. Only her son, she stated she should be his queen not me, he should live in the same state of her not with his wife ! Wtf!

2 Likes

Would absolutely upset me… how sad for your children.

Definitely. It also upsets me that his grandma never shares pics of my baby but ALWAYS shares pics of her granddaughter. It’s ok Elias will have a favorite too don’t be upset when it ain’t you :woman_shrugging:t2:

2 Likes

Umm just say something…if you can express how you feel on here then you can tell her the exact same thing.

1 Like

Yep id feel upset about it.

1 Like

I know a family like that…

1 Like

Yup!
That’s BS.
And at that point I’d cut ties like seriously.
Idc if my in laws don’t like me that’s fine whatever they can join the club but to resent a child simply because they don’t like their mom that’s not only immature but it’s pathetic at all levels.
When she wants to be a grandmother then she can see the kid til then I say what’s it matter if she don’t see them….clearly she can care less.

I wouldn’t invite her to any momentous in your child’s life. When she asks why, explain to her.

I’m so sorry. I would be upset too. Don’t worry. Your baby has you and you are everything to your baby. If others won’t show him how loved he is. He’s got you to do that and that’s all that matters. 🫂❤️

1 Like

Give her a family portrait for Christmas!

4 Likes

Ppl take things out of proportion that’s not a big deal

1 Like

I hardly have photos of my kids out. There is hardly any wall space or I don’t have frames. It’s not that I don’t love my kids and I do have some up but they’re older pictures. I wouldn’t take offense. Maybe get some family pictures done and gift them to her

2 Likes

Yes it would bother me

Stop trying it’s a waste…kid will learn on it’s own

Have you given her any? Give her some. If she puts them out she was waiting on you to give them to her….if she doesn’t, then yes…be pissed off!

5 Likes

That’s the way my grandmother is, rather than hurt my kids because my grandmother, their great grandmother is a huge cunt I cut her out of our lives. We are all so much happier without her toxic crap

Cut her off and move

Move on. Your kid is special to you. Everyone won’t feel the same.
Just don’t let her spend time with the kid.

Have you given her a nice framed picture or any pictures? Are there other issues like a question of DNA? Have you been tacky about what they can do with pictures they have taken? You say they live 5 minutes away and didn’t buy a gift…do they help you financially? Did they help you pay for baby stuff in preparation for the baby? Could they have developed financial problems in the last year and can’t afford things? Not enough info to validate your side.

3 Likes

Do you give her printed photos? If you haven’t printed any fir her then no.

Speak up about the gift though and ask for help with a party?

If mine ever did that I would disown them and then when the baby got older I would tell him or her why

I don’t have in laws, so no experience here. My MIL passed before I even met my husband

Nah, i just wouldn’t be going there. Problem solved.

If it continues for another year, to see her true color, I’d cut her off. She’s showing you that your child means nothing to her, and if you’re child gets older and notices it in the future, it can mentally and emotionally hurt them. Your child will love you. Even if their grandmother doesn’t. It’s her lose, not yours. Do what you think is best for your child and your little family that you created.

Frame a couple and take them to her.

1 Like

Not a big deal . My daughters grandmother doesnt put her photos up either. I don’t pay it any mind . I just give to my family and that’s it saves me money in the long run . It used to bother my daughter but she got over it

What you do is print out the tile picture that have the peel and stick on the back and stick family photos up with them knowing and see how long it takes them. That’s what I plan on doing to my husbands dad and step mom

Have you sat down and talked with her? Maybe there is something going on you’re unaware of. Maybe she doesn’t feel wanted or something. If there is no reason I would explain how hurtful it is and that it makes no sense. If she doesn’t change her tune I would cut her off. Kids don’t deserve that.

My husband and I have been married for 20 years. During this time our relationship with my mother-in-law that has never been good. Like yours she does not have pictures up of our kids and it has pictures up of all of her other grandkids. You can tell with my mother-in-law that she has favorites. At some point I just stopped letting it bother me. Kids get older and they realize who’s there for them and who’s not.

3 Likes

Any photos my mom or grandmother had displayed were given to them printed out.

1 Like

Reminds me of my daughter’s grandmother who when confronted said that she keeps my daughter’s photo in her office at work :roll_eyes: fast forward 15 yrs and she doesn’t even know what my daughter looks like now

2 Likes

I had that situation. I placed pictures myself. Be pissed if they get removed. Some people are so petty that they won’t have anything to do with a child because of their issues with the child’s mom.

1 Like

Whatsoever your husband say??

Have you given her any framed photos to put up?

My dad had all his other grandchildren hanging on his walls and I was mad as hell then was like… wait a minute, I’ve never given him any. I put together a multi photo frame and gave it to him. The smile on his face was so big and there it is hanging on his wall.

As far as the birthday party thing. The first birthday is more for the parents, not the child sooo, that would be a whatever for me :woman_shrugging:

2 Likes

Lol I’m a smart ass but I’d buy the most big beautiful frame and pic a good pic and that would be her present and say since you don’t have one up I thought I’d help you

She doesn’t of any of my 3 kids and nope doesn’t bother me lol I could care less.

Nope, I’d just stop sending pics or invitations :woman_shrugging:

Give her one and if she don’t put it out, confront her and cut ties.

Nope because its her loss. I dont worry about people who dont worry about me.

2 Likes

No my own mother kept photos of her kids that had nothing to do with her out but none of me. Oh…… the photos she had of them are the ones I provided her with because they had nothing to do with her.

U have them MIL like that. Seems like the first grands they say r special then the last one’s same way. I had 2 deal with this back n the late 80s&90s. My kids were always left out most time mind u on the fathers side they only had 4 grands

1 Like

Id be pretty upset, I mean my partners mom and grandma have photos of my son, not biologically my partners, up all over alongside all of her other grandkids and great grandkids. Framed and just hanging on the fridge, she’s always asking for photos

1 Like

No because stressing over someone not using your kids pictures all over their house isn’t your issue. If they don’t want the pictures up they don’t have to. Stressing over something you have no control over won’t help the situation. If it bothers you that much bring it up to your MIL. but as the saying says "control what you can control."What you can control is how you perceive a situation, how you react to it, and how you respond.

13 Likes

I know my mom loves all her grandkids but she buys picture frames and leaves the fake families in them :rofl::sweat_smile::joy:

3 Likes

She’s a narcissist don’t feed into her I know it’s easier said than done but you only have control of you you focus on you and your beautiful family​:two_hearts: she’s doing this purposely to get a reaction from you and to cause division. I know about this first hand. She’s petty and miserable.Hugs :hugs:

2 Likes

In all honesty no I wouldn’t

1 Like

And your husband is okay with it and doesn’t care?

I would just very kindly gift her a picture and say I noticed the baby was missing. I wouldn’t take it personal.

3 Likes

My MIL never even asks about our daughter… her daughter and granddaughter live with her bc grandma is basically raising her. No pictures of our daughter, no visits, no phone calls. I’ve finally gotten to the point of whatever, F yall pretty much… took me awhile to get over the being pissed off about it. But now that I say whatever, It doeant bother me as much. Gotta learn what to really stress about. I know it sucks, but it sucks less when you kind of just realize that’s how it is.
ETA, we have given her numerous pics whether of all of us or just our daughter, never seen them up in the house before
Just my experience

Give her a pretty framed picture of your baby for her birthday and see what she does with it.

9 Likes

It bothered me at first because my spouses parents have a wall dedicated to the grand children. None of my kids are on it.

It doesn’t bother me anymore when I realized that they won’t change. You can’t make people change either. So I just focus of the people who want to be in my kids life!

7 Likes

Been there, had that situation. Toxic person most likely. Just cut ties.

Have you given her photos? Most likely the others did

1 Like

My husband’s mother does this. She even has pictures of kids that aren’t even her grand kids all over her house. Just know that when your child gets old enough he will also realize this. My son is 16 now and questions me about why his dad’s family has always hated him and treated him differently. It’s sad. But you really are all that baby needs. If those people can’t accept him as a baby they will NEVER respect him when he is older. It’s better now to just cut ties and work on your own family.

Sounds like mine. Which is why we never see them

Id give her a framed pic and remind her of birthdays. If she continues to ignore then id ask her why. Her answer would dictate whether she saw her grandchild or not

2 Likes

My own parents don’t have pictures of my youngest, or even my grandkids out. They love them the same, and the great grands are their life. it’s just that the last 4 little people born, haven’t displayed in pictures. Everything is digital now. :woman_shrugging:

1 Like

Yes I’d be upset what’s up with that

yes I would be hurt .

Its called disfavored child status and a very long lasting form of abuse that has big ramifications in adulthood, it could be an extension of the treatment she gave your husband, either way its toxic abuse, remember normal grandparents proudly display pictures and bug you for new ones, minimize your childs exposure to that

4 Likes

That is very strange. Is your husband close to his mom? Have you given her any photos to frame? The whole birthday thing is a bigger flag to me than the photos

That not right at all

1 Like

You just might have my mother in law .

1 Like

All you can really do is explain to them when they get old enough that it’s nothing they did wrong; that people don’t always behave in a kind or fair way. I’d also limit my child’s exposure to that person. After all, if the grandparents don’t feel warm enough toward the child(ren) to display their photos as equally as they do the other grands, then they don’t have much room to complain about not seeing them. And if they are projecting their feelings toward you or the other parent on the kids, it would be unkind to expose them to that.

1 Like

Did you give her photos? Like I won’t print pics of any child I didn’t give birth to and hang in my house, but if someone gives me one I will put it up.

1 Like

Personally I just think I’d cut my ties with her. If she’s ok living like that then so am i

1 Like

Give her one mother day is coming soon frame it for her if she doesn’t set it out there is a problem but I don’t find it weird mine doesn’t have one of all of us just kids not me nor my husband wedding Pic just kids I don’t really care tho

1 Like

Yup. I’d ask her what her problem is. If she’s acting that way she doesn’t need to see my kids. Period. I’ll shelter them from that kind of BS.

3 Likes

Went through this, and so many other forms of toxicity. Dessert for only 1 grandchild while the others sat at the same table, presents for 2 grandchildren while others were in same room. And not that we needed or wanted anything from such a horrible person, but named every single one of her grandchildren in her will except for my son. Oh I could go on and on. It’s best to cut ties with people like that because it will never end and kids notice EVERYTHING.

2 Likes

Going through something similar. It is upsetting, but you can’t force them to be more active in their lives or put up photos. The other family members are just missing out on time and relationships with your kids. What I do is try to ignore it, even if it stings, and just be there for my girl. I put pictures up and spend time, and make good memories. Make her happy that way.