The way you worded it sounds like you want to cut them off foe not helping with your kids? From what you say it sounds like they’re never around anyway. What more are you going to cut them off from.
A general rule of thumb don’t rely on anyone but yourselves! You should be helping because you can, not to expect it in return. The 1.5hrs between when he leaves & your off work. Let your kids have free time: reading, coloring, tablets, TV time. So they are quite / busy. So you can wrap up your work day!
I wouldn’t cut them off just take the money you guys are spending on their Bill’s and put it towards a nanny instead!
4 Likes
Grandparents already raised their kids, let them be around when they want to, not when you want them too.
1 Like
Find another day care thats still open … my youngest daughter works for one and they monitor and sanitize daily multiple times a day I do believe… let your parents / in laws pick when they want to spend time with their grand babies yes we understand their help would be great but don’t expect it when its convenient for you thats just wrong
Based on the responses, this will be an unpopular opinion…maybe because this hits a little too close to home, but I don’t believe that she is expecting anyone to raise her kids for her like many are making this concern out to be. I think the way this question was worded came off a bit wrong, however, I get the main message. Yes, when you have children, it is YOUR responsibility to care for them. No one else’s. However, I know when I ask for help (which is extremely rare), I really need said help. This person sounds super stressed out and the comments saying “let the grandparents live their life, these are YOUR kids…” are plain insensitive. If I’m in the situation where I’m asking for help - and obviously not taking advantage of someone - and the help is offered and then not received, it’s a bit of a disappointment. Everyone’s situation and life experiences are different. Raising small kids and working from home during a pandemic is HARD. Having no help or relief is even harder. No one asked for these circumstances when they had children. If the daycare she trusts and relied on is shut down indefinitely because of a situation out of her control, maybe she doesn’t feel comfortable just sending her kids to another one. Maybe she’d rather have trusted family lend a hand now and again. After all, it does take a village doesn’t it? I know if my kids called on me, no matter their age, I’d be there. I don’t know the full story, it just sounds like a mom and dad that are in a difficult/stressful situation that occasionally need help from trusted family. Not parents that are living their best life every weekend and taking advantage of grandparents. That being said, you can’t force someone to be in your life or your kids life that doesn’t want to be. It’s their loss to miss out on potential time with their grandkids and an opportunity to help their children. I know these times are unprecedented, and it’s super hard, however, cutting off family because they aren’t reliable isn’t the answer. I’d take the help when you can get it from whomever you trust (grandparents or otherwise) and do the best you can do with work and raising babies. All will be well in the end…help or no help!
11 Likes
That seems quite Harsh , yes you are struggling so it is you that needs to make the changes , either give up work and raise your kids or find suitable child care so that you are not overwhelmed, you can’t rely on other people
They may have said they would help but maybe they realised how hard it is , and can’t cope ?
Think if your struggling to cope with it all , maybe they would struggle to take care of your kids
And to say your thinking about breaking ties with them is just in anger, because they won’t do as you ask . They have raised their children, they do not have to be taking care of your kids to have a relationship with them.
Remember you are the only one that can make your self happy, if things arnt working you have to change them, you can’t blame other people
Yes mother hood is over whelming
I had to stop working, I couldn’t do it all, I am not super woman , and thats okay , stop trying to take the world Hun, just change your focus xxx
1 Like
After all that has happened I would make boundaries with them. Unfortunately though it’s your family and no one is responsible but you. Whether you “see” things a certain way or not. It’s definitely messed up but not their problem. You seem like good people and maybe you should stop being so selfless if they aren’t willing to do the same for y’all 
5 Likes
So stop paying dad’s bills and when he asks why, tell him you need the money for childcare. Your kids are your responsibility and if your family isn’t reliable help then you need to hire someone. Yes it sucks that they aren’t involved more but you can only control your own actions, not theirs.
39 Likes
It’s not their responsibility to help you. They can back out at any time. They are your children not theirs however their bills are also not your problem. If they won’t help you out don’t help them out. It’s a two way street if you are still helping stop helping. You will need that money for childcare due to their actions. 
18 Likes
No one is obligated to help you - giving with the expectation of getting back isn’t nice - have you made your family aware you’re helping them is conditional and you expect things in return? Forcing someone to help with your kids or making them feel obligated because you’ve helped them will only cause resentment and not make it a fun time at all. End of the day they are missing out on great quality time with the kids but that’s their choice - I wouldn’t be cutting my family off for it. Just go about your life with your husband and kids and enjoy the moments your paths do cross with family.
9 Likes
I love my grandkids with every breath I take and would do anything for them. My sons are understanding now that with covid we have to be so much more careful about our visits unfortunately. Hang in there, hopefully covid will be a thing of the past sooner or later but please don’t shut out your parents. It hurts us to the core not seeing out grandbabies because of covid. Please keep an open mind. My sons tell me all the time , they know it is their responseability for childcare so they are going the extra mile to make sure I am safe as can be from exposure to covid. My son actually took fmla for a lil bit to keep from exposing me to covid. Best wishes to you, Hang in there we will get thru it together one day at a time
I’m probably gonna be the odd one but it’s not your families responsibility or anyone else’s for that matter, you guys decided to have kids, you guys figure it out.
It sounds harsh but just because you pay your dad’s bill’s, doesn’t mean he has to be there for you, in a perfect world it would be 50/50 but it’s not.
My parents live 10 min away and my mom is a SAHM like me, although she doesn’t have kids anymore (I’m an only child) she has nothing to do, despite that, my husband still takes the day off or gets off work early so he can stay home with the baby and I can take our other kid to the doctor or viceversa. I can count on my mom or my parents but it’s not their responsibility and here they are behind us 100%.
With that said, maybe look into daycare or a babysitter? And stop paying for your dad, you don’t even have to say because I need childcare since you don’t help, nope, just say you have expenses.
10 Likes
It’s not their job to watch your kids. Cutting ties seems a bit extreme. I wouldn’t count on them for anything though. It sounds like you need to reevaluate expectations, and maybe set some boundaries. All relationships have different limitations; including your family.
3 Likes
Cutting family off is cruel and mean to the children as well as the family. Unless theres abuse or neglect. To be fair a 2yr old eith an infant is alot for some grandparents to handle. Even those of us that are well seasoned at it. Js
3 Likes
I work from home all day. My kids home school at the moment like most. My husband is day shift some but mostly nights. Daycare is not an option because of covid. We make it happen. Its nice on the rare occasion-very rare occasion we get gma to pick up the kids but there is no obligation on her part. We’d never expect anyone to have to care for our kids but us.
Maybe your kids are naughty little shites and too much for them to handle
2 Likes
Of course no one is ever obligated to watch your children but I think it’s really low that they don’t mind taking from you and having you help pay their bills all while they won’t make even the smallest effort to help you out when you’re struggling. I believe all relationships in life involve compromise and they are not compromising for you. I’m not saying to cut them out completely but I would definitely set some boundaries.
3 Likes
They aren’t obligated to help you. You had the kids not them. That being said, I’d definitely stop paying dad’s bills, put that money towards a babysitter
4 Likes
I’d stop paying for their bills but never expect anything from anyone. They are your kids and your responsibility. Just let the dad know you’re unable to pay for his bills because that money is going tondaycare
4 Likes
As a grandma I gave up working to take care of my grandkids it’s now 6 years I’m home. Life has been tough and a struggle with very little income.My daughter does the very best she can to help and with young couples these days it’s financially difficult. I love my grandkids and will continue to take care of them fearful more than ever with this pandemic.They are vulnerable now and going to school is a risk especially the 3 year old. We have to be there for our children-I know it’s their kids but they are still my children too.We just have to pray that we are all safe
2 Likes
My kids have grandparents on both sides within a hour and a half drive. Both work full time jobs and are not expected to take care of my children. My spouse stays home with the kids while I work. Not ideal but its what we have to do since day care is insanely expensive for 3 kids. They are our kids and our responsibility. I have also helped my family during tough times but it certainly was not conditional it was because I love them and they needed help. I would definitely not cut your family off because they don’t babysit for you.
3 Likes
I wouldn’t cut them but i wouldn’t go the extra mile to help them out either. If they cant do it they need to just come and say it so your not counting on them. I would definitely stop paying their bills and use that money to hire someone in home. Plenty of people who need a job and would love to help. Thats just my opinion. But dont go the extra mile to involve them if they arent gonna be involved. I would let them know they invited to come over whenever but they have to be the ones to make that commitment. Its a 2 way street. I wouldnt go out of my way. I hope this helps.
1 Like
They are your kids . You need to take care of them yourself. Do you ever go visit just to spend time with them.?? Do you go out to eat with them or vacation?? Why not pay them to sit with your children. How old are your parents?? Can they really handle your kids ??
I agree stop paying dad’s pills he’s not helping at all that forget that
As a Nanny of nearly 11 years now I can tell you that as we age it gets harder and harder to daycare the grandies. We also now have a 3 year old. We love them dearly and do everything we can for them, including 3 days full care during school holidays. We now tire a lot easier than when we retired 8 years ago, but still we do this. We are also in a vulnerable position at our age where covid is concerned. There is a stage and which grandparents need a break and need to be able to rest as well. Sometimes the working children need to take a minute to think about how their parents are coping too…
1 Like
1st off I’m not trying 2 be rude but u were paying 4 things he didnt need except trash bill. If he couldn’t afford it then o well. 2nd if they offer then go back on their word u shouldn’t hold them accountable especially if its not the 1st time they’ve done it. 3rd ur the parent u should have 2 take care of ur kids. Between the 2 of u I’m sure u guys can find a way 2 wiggle a lil bit more if need be. 4th u cant force a relationship with them. Either they come around or dont. I wouldn’t necessarily bend over backward 2 let them see them either. It is a 2 way street and giving a lil 2 get a lil only goes so far when it comes 2 children.
Stop helping them with the expectation they they will help you. If they make the effort to help and have the relationship with you and your children them awesome but otherwise they have no obligation to do anything. Do ask them for help. I get you need it but clearly they are not capable to do it. I this you need to manage your expectations and go from there
1 Like
There is a lot of people on here telling you it isn’t an obligation for your parents to help you. In a way they are right. But, in the same breath I say that most grandparents worth anything help with their grandchildren. My Mom works part time and watches my kids 4 days a week while my husband and I work more than full time. She is paid for her time. Sure not what it is worth but something. I don’t feel like my Mom has to. She wants to. I would much rather have my kids with family than a stranger. If I had to pay for childcare one of us would have to stop working it wouldn’t be worth it. At the end of the day it takes a village. I wouldn’t be helping my Dad. Not because he wouldn’t help but for the principal that he is a grown adult and as much other adults on this thread have said is not “your obligation.” Hang in there Mama.
1 Like
I love my grandkids i watch and they love me them all the time
I’ve done it with the S.Os family. They don’t help out at all…
Looooong story to go with it. But in the end we just don’t bother, they ask 21 questions each time or make up excuses to not watch them. But then when we are at a family function or w.e they act like they’ve been the best grandparents ever, they’ll watch their other grandchildren without hesitation, but not ours. In the end they’re the ones missing out on our kids, so no invites to birthdays(they stopped showing up, so we stopped wasting invites), family dinners, or graduations…
1 Like
sucky grandparent’s however I wouldn’t cut ties because they won’t watch them, just stop expecting it and keep a relationship with them, if this is the only issue you have with them I think it’s absurd to cut them off. Although I’d stop paying their bills and use it for daycare and when he asks tell him you can’t afford it since he wont’ babysit his grandkids.
Just let it all go and Let god
so you are upset you dont have babysitters?
15 Likes
Grandparents aren’t built in babysitters. So because they can’t watch your think it’s okay to keep them from seeing the kids. Selfish much
14 Likes
They’re YOUR kids. Your responsibility. Its that simple.
23 Likes
Umm they have day cares and baby sitters you cant always rely on family or friend. Thats wrong to keep them away
6 Likes
I can see where your coming from, and considering you are paying some of your dads bills he should atleast take the kids when you need him too. Yes grandparents arent built in babysitters but I believe in the you give, I give. So your helping him pay bills, he should help you by watching the kids. My comment won’t be popular amongst many but it is what it is. If you don’t like that he isn’t helping you, stop helping him.
65 Likes
Do what you need to do for your children and husband. I believe that a grandparent will help their children and grandchildren for the greater good. Your sanity is important. I wouldnt cut complete ties but I wouldn’t keep paying their bills. Understand which ever decision you make has pros and cons. Good luck.
4 Likes
“cut off” the child’s grandparents because they won’t babysit ?? A little narcissistic much… Did they actually want to or are you just hounding and begging?
18 Likes
If you believe someone has to help you cause you helped Them your wrong … You should never rely on anyone an always have a back up plan
14 Likes
I feel for you, Iv had similar issues with people offering to help and then not being there. It’s frustrating. And trust me I know sometimes I just want to scream like I can’t take them anywhere else cuz everything is closed with covid and I’m not asking you take them so I can go out and party and get drunk and have fun I need help so I can go to work. I’m your kid and I’m asking you for help. So Iv been there. Wouldn’t cut them off though they aren’t babysitters and they are family. Just stop asking for help, and start inviting them less. If they ask to come see the kids let them come, if you and your husband want to host a dinner don’t go out of your way to invite them.
2 Likes
For 13yrs I worked the graveyard shift to avoid placing my kids in daycare. The few times family was willing to help out, we made sure we paid them. We understood from day one our kids were OUR responsibility. No one else’s.
15 Likes
I can kind of understand your frustration with them saying they will then backing out, but in the end, they are YOUR kids, YOUR responsibility. I wouldn’t cut them out of your life because they can’t/ won’t watch them when you need them to. None of us reading this know the situation of your family or what they are going through, so we’re stuck imagining that they have other stuff going on as well. Best of luck to you, and hopefully you and your family can come up with some type of way they can help you without you both burdening each other
8 Likes
It’s understandable to be frustrated when someone says they’ll do something for you and then decide not to. I’m sorry you’re going through this and hope things get better.
3 Likes
Your kid. Your responsibility. Nobody elses.
11 Likes
Dont beg them to be apart of the kids lives. If they dont love them. You forcing them wont help. It may get them to spend some time with them but they still won’t actually care about your kids. Speaking from experience. Seemed to cause more pain than it was worth for my kids as they got older.
3 Likes
As politely as I can… it is not your family’s duty to take your kids! That’s y’all’s job to pay someone if no one wants to volunteer.
14 Likes
I dont think she’s saying that they are babysitters in the slightest. They have offered to help and then back out which causes confusion for them.
I personally think you’ve got to do what is easiest for you, and since your daycare closed maybe look for a new one. If the grandparents then want to pick up the children from daycare that would be a different story. That’s how it is with my parents, if they want my son for the evening that just have to let me know.
I also wouldn’t cut ties. I have let people walk themselves out by not always contacting them first. But to each their own.
Good luck.
7 Likes
We have always gone with the thought process that it is our kids so our responsibility to make sure they are cared for.
My family is about 2 hrs away vs my in laws are in town. In laws do the same thing of bragging that they do xyz to take care of us and the grandkids. While in all honesty they see them less then my family. Ultimately I want my kids to have a relationship with their grandparents so the few times (think like once every 8-12 weeks) that they want to see them I always make us available. I dont rely on them for anything, I learned the hard way. When pregnant they were so excited to do all the things with them but really they dont. The one and only time I asked for help picking up eldest from daycare I got a call that she was still there and my in laws had forgotten.
I wouldn’t expect your family to assist with childcare, but I also wouldn’t be willing to help pay Bill’s for 1.5 years.
I’m probably gonna be the odd one but it’s not your families responsibility or anyone else’s for that matter, you guys decided to have kids, you guys figure it out.
It sounds harsh but just because you pay your dad’s bill’s, doesn’t mean he has to be there for you, in a perfect world it would be 50/50 but it’s not.
My parents live 10 min away and my mom is a SAHM like me, although she doesn’t have kids anymore (I’m an only child) she has nothing to do, despite that, my husband still takes the day off or gets off work early so he can stay home with the baby and I can take our other kid to the doctor or viceversa. I can count on my mom or my parents but it’s not their responsibility and here they are behind us 100%.
With that said, maybe look into daycare or a babysitter? And stop paying for your dad, you don’t even have to say because I need childcare since you don’t help, nope, just say you have expenses.
4 Likes
I understand being upset about them backing out after saying they would but they’re not obligated to watch them. They already didn’t help before so you should have known. You want help because you’re exhausted. Welp… That’s definitely part of parenting and working.
1 Like
Yupp, I did, I’ve begged for a slight break and not only did it not come (whilst babysitting my nephew but not my kid) but when I started falling behind on housework cuz I’ve been busy with my autistic son home, I got called lazy, useless, loser, disgusting…nope, no thanx, bye bye, I cut em out mid October and haven’t looked back. 
2 Likes
I think it’s extreme to cut your family off for not helping you with the kids and if you feel that strongly about it rather than cut them off just don’t help pay bills. Nobody is obligated to take care of what’s your responsibility.
6 Likes
When I ask my mom to “babysit” she tells me “I raised my kids, I’m not raising anymore all my kids are grown.” If you want someone to watch your kids, hire a babysitter.
Fk my youngest is 7 months & my dad hasn’t even met him yet. 
This just sounds like a entitled girl throwing a hissy fit honestly.
7 Likes
Unfortunately just because they are family doesn’t mean they are obligated to take on your children, You should have made sure you were going to be capable to work and raise them, Rather than relying on others to do the work, It’s clear they offer help at the time to placate you, But don’t actually want to take on the task for whatever reason.
You’re doing your dad a great favour taking on some of his bills, But again that was your choice, And he is not obligated to babysit because you feel he ‘owes you’ don’t get me wrong, It’s unfortunate they don’t want to help out, You’d think family would jump at the chance, But no one is obligated to you or your children other than you and your partner.
4 Likes
I actually see what you’re saying. No I don’t think grandparents are required to babysit, but based on what you’re saying they’re offering and then never following through as well as not choosing to have an actual relationship with your kids. I do think that family should help out family whenever they can as long as people aren’t being taken advantage of but it sounds like you’re the ones being taken advantage of since you’ve helped them out financially and aren’t getting any help back in your time of need. Based off the information in this post, I say keep your distance. Anyone who doesn’t want to have a relationship with your kids shouldn’t be in their lives and you need to stop giving out money since you’re going to be needing it for childcare.
8 Likes
You shouldn’t expect family to help even if they claim they will. If you’re overwhelmed from the back and forth then maybe try a sitter. Would this situation be worth you cutting ties? Probably not but that would be on you guys. You had the kids so do what you gotta do but you should only rely on yourself and the person that helped you make your kids.
2 Likes
I never count on anyone for anything and I’m never disappointed. When I do get offered a helping hand I only accept when necessary. If someone wants to spend time with my child on their own accord, great! But other than that I have sitters and daycare that are paid for their services rendered that way there is no feelings really involved.
1 Like
Family doesn’t mean they have to babysit. Unfortunately you’ll have to figure out other arrangements, even if that’s a babysitter for 1-2 hours a day.
2 Likes
Well… This is tough. I see both sides. My grandmother does this to me or should i say did. While I don’t advise cutting them off I do say give what you get. If they don’t want to babysit so be it. Quit asking. If they want to be involved awesome but if not don’t force it. I am a firm believer in saying your title to my children doesn’t make you entitled to my children. If they’re toxic then no questions they have to go. If your mad they offer help and don’t follow through as i said quit asking or decline if they offer unless its for something that wont matter much if they back out. And as for a sitter maybe since a lot of schools are remote learning look for a teenager to come sit at the house for those couple of hours. My neice does and if she has been out and about I ask her to wear a mask while she is over because im pregnant and I can’t risk my other child getting it from her and giving it to me. But end of the story you can’t expect your parents or your in laws to always change their plans to baby sit. They did their time in the parenting game and now its their time to spoil and give back in their own terms.
I don’t think it’s fair to be that upset that they don’t help. It’s no one else’s responsibility to take care of your kids. I WOULD be mad that they lie to others and make it sound like they do help. But, still not so upset that I would cut them out of your lives. That is a bit extreme.
4 Likes
- Helping your parents financially IMO is pay back for raising you
- Sucks… but you can figure something out, just know you can’t rely on them
- Never cut ties unless it’s toxic for the CHILD… children need grandparents, grandparents need grandkids… There should be no strings attached in this.
7 Likes
It’s one thing if they never try to involve themselves, it’s another if you’re trying to cut them off simply because they don’t help out.
1 Like
I don’t think you’re being ridiculous. It’s frustrating when people tell you they’ll help and then back out. Also, if you’re helping your dad that much (for that long of a period of time) he could be helping you out too. At this point he’s pretty much just using you. It also doesn’t seem like you mean “cut them out” so much as you’re going to stop asking and if they want to see your kids they’ll have to ask.
4 Likes
If by cutting ties you mean find an alternative way to find care for the 2 hours instead of asking and hitting a brick wall when the time comes and they can’t, yes. If you meant disown them or no longer allow the opportunity for them to see the family, no.
4 Likes
Girl trust me when I say grandparents can do a lot more damage than not helping out. It is not their responsibility and they’ve already raised you and your spouse. Cutting them out seems a bit harsh. As long as they are not toxic or harming your children maybe have a simple conversation about it like adults.
3 Likes
I wouldn’t cut ties but I wouldn’t help them out anymore.
4 Likes
Personally. It’s not your family’s responsibility to take care of your kids it’s yours. They have no obligation to help you even if you helped them (which it now sounds like a motive attached). However I see why you feel the way you feel. If you are helping your family with the assumption they will in turn help you I would get rid of that mindset. If not watching your kids is grounds for cutting ties I would probably go ahead and do that as it doesn’t seem too solid in the first place
3 Likes
No one helped me with my kids. Occasionally they babysat but made it seem extremely hard for them. On the other hand my in laws and siblings have lots of help,lmfao… that’s upsetting and I know it’s a scary time. Unfortunately some people don’t feel like it’s their responsibility.
1 Like
I’m with you.
They are bragging how they help out. You are helping them with bills.
Step up or shut up grandparents!!!
I wouldn’t 100% cut ties. I would make alternate arrangements for daycare. Then stop telling them anything about the kids. If they want to know - they can actually show up and spend time with the kids.
It’s hard - but not impossible- to find daycare right now. Think about alternative daycare. Post an ad on FB marketplace- lots of other stay at home moms are taking in kids right now too.
My parents did the same exact thing. They didn’t take my child for a single overnight until she was 4. She is a freshman in high school this year - ONCE have they picked her up from school🙄 Both retired. Both local. My out of town in laws who are 10 hours have spent WAY more time with her🤷♀️
Some people just need that steel toe boot to the butt:woman_shrugging:
1 Like
You don’t give and expect to receive back. You give because you WANT to.
5 Likes
Definitely focus on your kids and spouse! Family is great but they’re really not your responsibility the way your kids are.
1 Like
I would be upset a bit. They said they would do something, they didn’t. It also hurts that they won’t see the children.
I’d stop paying for things for him and stop expecting things as well. That’ll help you guys a ton with that baggage.
Since he’s not obligated to help, you’re also not obligated to help him.
Cutting off might just be too extreme unless there’s something else going on or something.
2 Likes
Sorry those are your kids. Family has no obligation to help you.
5 Likes
But you are asking a lot. They raised their kids. They should not be required to help with yours. If they want to, that’s great, but most don’t want to be tied down to a schedule again. I was once in your position, and didn’t understand. Now that I am a grandma, I understand. Taking care of the kids is on you and your husband. You mentioned paying part of dad’s bills. It’s wonderful that you are helping if it’s out of love. However, you seem to be looking for some return or reward. That makes your contribution much less noble.
6 Likes
I’d tell them you can’t cover their bills anymore because you have to hire a steady babysitter and need to pay them.
14 Likes
Im in the same situation…in laws 2.5 hrs away and my grandma that raised me cant physically help…i dont care they dont babysit but what bothers and pisses me off most is they NEVER visit our kids but take the others to do fun things while my kids get gifts…i am upset my kids arent getting a relationship with their grandparents but i remember its their loss…i just dont think you should take the ones closer to do things and spend barely any time with mine…
They are YOUR kids. If you’re concerned about money perhaps cut back on what you give your dad and tell them it’s to cover the daycare bill. Daycare is not cheap
3 Likes
My husband’s mom sees his daughter twice a year… maybe. Some people just don’t evolve into loving involved grandparents. Its kinda weird.
Yeah I’d do what I needed to for my kids. I would not pay their bills. Especially not tv. For my family we had to do that.
1 Like
Honestly, you sound entitled. Grandparent’s jobs are not to babysit. Yes, some help out by doing it to provide low or no cost child care but it’s not required as a grandparent. To cut them off because they aren’t helping is wrong. They raised you and took care of you, they didn’t cut you off because you didn’t help with bills as a kid. Find a babysitter to come into your home, pay them, and kindly tell your dad that you can afford his bills and use that money for a babysitter.
11 Likes
Nope my babysitting days are over I did it all through my 20s and 30s and I’m ready to have a kid of my own if I can
I wouldn’t personally cut them off, but I’d stop paying the bills so you can pay for day care,
2 Likes
They’re your kids, your parents don’t owe you a single thing. You paying for part of your dad’s bills were YOUR choice. Pretty unfair to toss that in his face if you agreed to it without any stipulations. If it’s an issue with you and you expect something in return, stop paying the bills. There’s many alternatives for child care.
If you’re really considering cutting family off because they won’t babysit that’s absolutely ridiculous and narcissistic.
5 Likes
I don’t think needing help for an hour or 2 is much to ask. In my family my grandparents watched me and my parents (and other family) watch my daughter. It’s just what we do. I don’t see why they wouldn’t want a little one on one time with their grandkids anyway
Umm they are YOUR KIDS. family isnt obligated to watch them. Thats crazy. 
put them in day care or hire a sitter. Wow entitled much.
5 Likes
Unless your parents were in the bedroom when you concieved them babies then no it isn’t their responsibility
4 Likes
You had the kids they didnt. It’s not their responsibility. If they help that’s awesome. If not cant hold it against them. They did their baby time already
4 Likes
I wouldn’t cut them off, we can’t expect people to watch our kids. However every parent is entitled to a break and with COVID you don’t really have many options, so I truly sympathise. I’m very lucky, my mum and dad and my fiancé’s Nan and her partner all love having our daughter, majority of the time I don’t even ask anyone to take her, they just call up and ask if she can come over and stay the night and I’m like “sure”; and since she’s got her grandparents and then her great grandparents both wanting her, I barely see the girl 
I’d stop paying their bills & use that money to pay for a babysitter to come into your home and watch the kids. I 100% have an issue with people claiming to do things for my kid when they don’t, so that would be shut down. I’d also stop asking for favors and I wouldn’t even ask if they want to see the kids. Let them come to you when they want visits. I’ve said it a million times, I’m not chasing after anyone. If YOU want to be in my child’s life you’ll make the time, if not we’ll be fine without
7 Likes
Your family is not obligated to provide child care for your children.
5 Likes
Why are you paying there bills when you don’t live there? Same thing goes about them not watching the kids when they said they would.
I wouldn’t cut them off. I’d just stop paying their bills. You have daycare to pay.
2 Likes
They are your kids…damn make it work…they already raised their kids I never expected any of my family to help watch or take care of my kids I had them at 18 and 20 and yes it was hard especially as a single parent but I made it work and never depended on any of my family to help…and even when they did offer to babysit while I worked overtime I would provide food and still pay them as well…they are your kids not theirs
1 Like
Do everyone miss the part where they said the grandparents say they would help make up reasons not to then tell others that they helped!?!? Y’all so judgemental to op and seems to over look that big detail.
11 Likes
Stop paying your dads bills for one , especially if he can’t help you make an income by watching kids for an hour . But I wouldn’t go as far as cutting them from your life . Just be very careful how you choose to help and what you allow
7 Likes
You have kids… I think it’s time to grow up and be a parent… your family are not the parents…
3 Likes
Seems like a bug jump to cut out family
My parents did and then didn’t help with my son when I was a single parent. Eventually I had to get him in daycare but I always had a friend or neighbor as backup.
Its harder now that daycares have shut down. So I do sympathize on that. In fact, I live in a small town where there is NO daycare more than 7 miles and they don’t even travel to the school here. Its primarily for a city next to us.
I think it’s easy to say its no ones responsibility but yours. I get what they mean, but you also do have the support of your husband and work from home. That’s a blessing.
I can’t work right now because of the daycare problem until I can find a local babysitter. Everyone’s situation is very different so I don’t want to cast judgements.
My mother always told me that its not her responsibility to care for my son and I had to respect that. People have lives.
Times have also changed. Daycares have shutdown. Find a local babysitter, there is plenty of people looking for some work right now
Snip snip 
You already know the answer to your question, put you and yours first like everyone else is doing and don’t for a second feel guilty for it!
5 Likes
Do you think it has anything to do with covid? Maybe they don’t want to come around because of that. Do you plan on paying them to watch your children? Even a little bit or are you expecting them to do it for free?.. maybe give them a notice about the bill/s you are paying tell them in a month’s time you will not be able to do that anymore, use that money to go towards childcare/ babysitter…you shouldn’t just expect help…if they actually want to they will…don’t cut ties all together, but stop asking for things when they want to be a part of their lives they will. …or you could always pick up the phone call and say to them what you wrote here…you need help even if its for a short time while you find someone else who is more willing