My thought process… Ex’s are ex’s for a reason
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If my ex husband came to me today I would drop everyone for him. But I was the one that fucked up the marriage so I dont see it coming anytime soon.
Iv tried going back to my ex it worked for a little while we both changed some.i still talk to him but don’t want back.he has a girlfriend an shows her off
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my parents were married, separated. divorced, then they remarried eachother years later. lol it can happen 
good luck!
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First off, you’re doing the right thing focusing on yourself. It’s hard now but in a while you’ll be in a spot where you’re happy being alone and when that day comes you can decide which one you think would add to the happiness best or you might decide to go in another direction entirely.
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I divorced my husband hadn’t seen him for seven years ran into it one night and we started dating he had just gotten divorced he and I had married out of high school and it only lasted a year and a half so seven years later we start dating and after 2 weeks his proposal was well you want to try it again and I told him we were going to wait awhile because he had three children and after two years we remarried, we were married for almost 31 years when he died of esophageal cancer, so yeah sometimes you have to grow up and live before you can make it work.
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A friend of mine did but they were divorced for a couple of years
My friend did. But there was a long gap between. High school sweethearts they got married right away. No kids but it didn’t last two years. He married someone else, had a couple of kids. Fast forward 25 years and they just got married again. His second wife died five years ago. This time they are making it. They say because they are older and grown up now. They never stopped caring about each other. Said it is so much better now. But as I said, there is a large gap.
I just think it’s weird to give people an exact time frame of when you might want to try again. Like in 2-3 years both of those men could have found someone they think is better and have a whole family by then. You just gave birth this just sounds bad all around. For them, you, and especially a new baby.
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Why leave something good for something that didn’t work out in the past? Things don’t change that easy. You just gave birth. Focus on your baby. Being selfish will have you end up with nothing.
Just focus on yourself and your child for now. But don’t make them wait for you either. Let them go get on with their lives. If you want one of them, then work on working it out with them. But don’t get with them just cause it feels good at the time. Have to think of your child too.
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I would definitely try being alone for the 1 to 3yrs. Give you time to think and decide if you even want a man in your life… or if you do which man.
Sounds like a dumpster fire waiting to happen imo.
Focus on yourself and when the hormones recede then I’m sure you will be able to really look at things logically.
Don’t make ANY decisions now.
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Try focusing on your child for awhile.
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Me I am that girl. Although we were not married the first time around I went and had a four year relationship and got engaged
My husband and I started dating in 2011
Married in 2012
Divorced 2014
I got pregnancy with someone else in 2014 and had a baby feb 2015
Husband and I remarried Jan 2015 after only being divorced 6 months
Still married. My son is now 7. It CAN work!!!
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Dude, never been married so I can’t give hood advice in that department but i can say that I had a baby almost a month ago and I have been celibate for almost 3 months. I broke up with my baby daddy last june and kept it that way since he showed me I couldn’t trust him as far as i could throw him.
Maybe you should take time off and enjoy the baby. The bf needs to go if your not happy. And it looks fishy that the bf hanging around if he knows your ex wants to get back with you. A decent guy would be mad and disappear. Men don’t like it if there is another man in your mind. There is a reason you ex is the ex. I would be cautious about him due to the fact you have someone else baby now. And the fact that your with someone else and he still wants to get to you. I would definitely loose both and after a while find someone new.
Focus on you and the baby only . Worst thing to do is make a decision on an emotional roller coaster with both . People like the familiar but sometimes just being by yourself for a long time and thinking clearly again might make it you see both of them are not worth working it out with or starting it over . Your not in love with the BF if you’ve even considered the ex . Vice versa with the BF TRYING but the ex suddenly wants your attention again knowing you going through all this emotional roller coaster. Better to just be alone with the baby and figure you out and love the baby and just be happy and love yourself first and time will tell you when your off the emotional roller coaster . Good luck and blessings to you and the new baby .
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Hunny hunnnyyyyy stop focusing on men and focus on your kidsssss
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Sounds to me you are enjoying this. Your ego is rocking. Just remember that big kick in the ass that will be coming. From your story, my advice to you would be to back away from them both. Let us know in 3 years if any of them still wants you. Don’t walk around with the nose high in the air because when it rains you might drown!
For me absolutely not. I would never go back to my ex husband. In not trying so I found my soul mate. I wish you luck.
There was an episode on Steve Harvey, when a man realized he wants his ex wife more than anything. Explained a lot about men’s mistakes. It’s best to listen what your heart says to you. No one can advise on this .
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They are not not going to wait around for 1-3 yrs for you to figure yourself out. But i agree a break from both may help clear up your mind to make a decision
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You DO need to be alone!!! Too many irons in the fire
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Exes are exes for a reason
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Stop worrying about men and start focusing on your baby (babies).!!
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Tha Bachelorette shitshow, no doubt you’ll get good ratings but I think I’ll swipe left on this whole mess
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I would. My ex husband and I are still great friends. We co parents very successfully. He’s a great man. We got married young and had a baby immediately and we weren’t ready. We have been apart for 4 years but I think we both needed time to grow the hell up. I would give it a try. Worst case it doesn’t work out. Best case your family is together and happy
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Make them wait 1- 3 years you take the chance of both moving on. What is your deep down true heart telling you ? That’s where you go
1-3 years is not practical 3-6 months no contact with either Listen to your gut Pay attention to how they both make you feel List 3 definite things you really need in a man and go from there
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YAS!!! Me!!! We married in 2008. Divorced in 2014. We’re separated for 6 years. Back together now and it’s the best it’s ever been. We have two kids, 11&9. 
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Yes I married my 1st Husband after being separated 28 years
If you arent sure, you dont really love either of them.
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I’m glad you told both of them that you needed 1 to 3 years to just be you. That definitely shows maturity and exactly what I was going to say when I was reading your post.
As for the married, divorced then dating again, I have personally never been married but I dated my fiancé for a few months we then broke up and didn’t speak for 2 years. We both had recently been through major traumas before we started dating and we were still very young when we went through them. After the 2 year break we got back together and have been together for 10 years! It’s the best relationship I’ve ever been in and he’s more then I could have ever prayed for. We needed time to heal ourselves in order to make a relationship work.
If after your break from men is over and you still want to try working it out with your ex husband make sure you truly look at what caused the problems in the first place and be brutally honest with yourself, none of us are perfect.
If you find that you have moved passed them after your break that’s perfectly fine too. You will grow mentally and emotionally if you really want too. Just don’t jump into another relationship until you’re ready.
But remember you can’t expect either one of them to wait around for you, they too have lives and will meet people and that’s perfectly fine. What is right will happen when everything aligns and it may be with someone you don’t even know yet.
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My ex and I separated and did try again…we have 8 kids together and married for 12ish years at the time…
But the problems were still there and unfortunately not fixable…
So we dis divorce.
I think if you can fix and love with respect, then try…but don’t try so hard you’re just living a lie.
Stick to the 1-3 years of being single… and actually BE single
Isn’t that why he is your ex
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Yep… we were married 5 years, divorced for 10, and got back together at a wedding, lived together 15 years and finally married again in Vegas 4 years ago and weve never been happier!!
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I did. It last for like a year and it was pretty much a bad idea from the beginning and the final split was the worst yet, lol. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
Grow up and figure you out. Wth. Running back in between beds. And my personal view is you never go backwards because you left for a reason
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Nope…I don’t want to live in the past
I divorced his ass for a reason
Plenty more fish in the sea, you know them both, be single for a few years and just love you and your baby
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My parents were married 2x it was awful & toxic both times they didn’t even divorce my dad just made a whole nother family my mom passed last year so I guess he’s free to marry but hasn’t yet
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Yes!!! Its possible if you’ve separated, divorced or just spent time apart. During that time you both have saw what life was without one another, and this could go one of two ways.
I feel like you definitely need to take that 1-3 year break and learn to love yourself and take care of that baby. That’s what most important. Once you do that if your ex husband can wait on you then you can make that decision. Be friends with him first!
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Remember he/she is a X for a reason
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Yes I did with my first I thought love of my life first everything kiss n all young at the time we had two kids together we separated when my son was 1 yes old I thought he was my everything we got back together but my feelings was not the same what I thought was the same it really wasn’t I left a month after we got back together and I told him I couldn’t do it no more it felt different
Not a decision to make after just having a baby. You need time for your emotions & hormones to settle… so you can think clearly!
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Just be with you right now, get to know you and after the yrs have passed and you have gotten to know yourself, you will then have the answer. But trying to figure it out now in the state of mind you are in will not bring you any answer that will bring you peace in the end, for you or your child❤
Stay single for a while
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My ex husband and I have been divorced 30 years both had remarried. He divorced my husband died . He has always remained part of my family. Used to spend winters at my sisters house. I asked him right before Covid could he help me for a few weeks . I was having hip replacement surgery. I have pets so he came to help me out . We discovered how well we get along and know each other like time didn’t lapse . We are now companions . He has his room
I have my own . We make each other laugh and enjoy each other’s company. Oh plus my first husband my only child’s Dad . Him and I are great friends too .
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It depends on the reason you broke up.
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I did, I divorce me ex husband then we got back together and it was the absolute worst…You know the old saying"they are your ex for a reason"
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Who do you love? The husband or the boy friend?
I would never go back to an ex! The pass with them was not nice! Go forward honey not backwards 
.
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First he’s a ex for a reason ,do you really want to go through that again . second most guys want what someone else has untill they get it than they don’t want it anymore.i agree with you to stay single for a couple of years, you never know what the future will bring
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Go get yourself and children together. Too many feelings and chaos right now. Concentrate on new baby. See who is waiting at the end of a year
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Yes it’s possible. My uncle separated from.his wife had another family. Didn’t work out and went back. She was waiting for him the whole time he was with his second family.
They’ve been together after being separated for 8 years.
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Honestly just focus on you and baby. Seriously. Things will happen if they are meant to, but you need to make sure you and baby are good through come what may. Kids first always
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Counseling for all and look up the book The Love Dare
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I feel you probably will make your decision to be on your own for a bit… maybe putting some time distance between you all. So long as you and your Bub are going to be ok.
U want them to wait 1-3 years 
seems u don’t want either of them but don’t expect them to wait around years for you to decide what u want that is a little selfish maybe u should all move on
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He didn’t want a baby, am I understanding that right? You said you finally have what you asked for from him for 2 years… so I’m guessing the baby. So if that’s it, I would not want to go back to him. He wasn’t ready to have a family, but not that you had another mans baby he wants to work things out…? That to me sounds like he just doesn’t want ties to the baby long term, in case it doesn’t work out…? Idk I would stay with the guy you’re with IF you are happy and in love with each other. But if I was him I would not want to be with you, no offense but not being first choice or having someone need to pick me or someone else, I’d take myself out of that equation.
I’d say be single and send time with yourself 
good luck 
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You’re right on wanting to get yourself together first. That’s a very smart choice. Don’t act on either of them bc of hormones for sure right now. Focus on you and baby. Let them help if they’d like but other than that, you will know what to do later
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My aunt & uncle did. I think they got back together more so because she didn’t know how to maintain the lifestyle they built together. He sacrificed more & he benefited more. And he enjoyed a life with little responsibility. They were together but he lived his own life. It was like she was in a relationship with him but he wasn’t with her. This is just my point of view. Bottom line is you broke up for reason. People don’t change. You have to decide if you can now live with whatever reasons you divorced for.
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Sounds like your husband wants to act right now because you have a relationship with someone else. Think about why the two of you divorced in the first place, is it worth going back to? You current relationship status is the only reason you’re entertaining your ex anyway. You might wanna try and work things out with the man you have a whole newborn baby with and leave your husband alone, that 3yrs shit ain’t gonna fly
Would you want to eat last week’s dinner again?
Take time for you and your baby. This way you can sort out your feelings. If you really don’t know, then it may be neither. Just my preference, I would never take back my ex. As soon as I met my husband now, I knew pretty much immediately that he was the one for me.
Not married but me and my boyfriend had a baby separated for 4 years (dated others on the mean time) and ended up with each other again now, living together as a family unit sometimes it just takes time and alot of self growth individually
Absolutely not ever would I!
It can work but depends on the people, feelings and all that. Make a pro/con list that is ongoing since you said you want to wait 1-3 years.
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Focus on you and your baby. You don’t even have any idea, I think you may even want to be alone so just say it’s not the right time. There will be another perfect man for you and going back to your ex husband most likely won’t solve anything. Good luck with your decision.
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I think you’re right. You need to decide what you want. Who you want. One? Both? Neither? My sister and her husband divorced she got her own place and they make it work for them.
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Yup me had 41 Wonderful years together:heart:
Sounds like you shouldn’t have been with your current BF or had a baby. I think after splitsville from hubby you needed more time. But now is definitely it. Focus on you. And if they try to pressure you, then tell them they just lost their chance. In saying that though, you obviously don’t love your current bf if you’re even considering going back to your ex.
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I didn’t read this. I just saw the heading! That’s a big NOPE!!!
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My opinion YOU CAN NEVER GO BACK! NOTHING CAN EVER BE THE SAME, WHEN TRUST IS GONE, IT IS GOING! So worry about yourself! Get your life back together for you and then find someone who love’s you for who you are now and don’t settle for a has been! Speaking from experience!
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There’s a reason you’re not with your ex anymore… you just need to be alone it sounds like current boyfee isn’t all butterflies and rainbows either lol… Take the time you need.
We will always want what we see as familiar or normal but relationships end for a reason. Let them both go and just worry about u and baby.
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You’re in a relationship, lol.
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I would walk away from both. Sounds like neither make you happy enough.
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Don’t be with any of them. Leave those poor men alone
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Not a fucking hope I got a barring order so I didn’t have to look at his disgusting abusive face. Turns my stomach when I see him 3 late teens adult kids and they now see him for who he is… not a fecking hope once a loser always a loser
God no. I’d help did his grave if asked
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Oh wow. With a child involved you probably need to try and work things out with your baby’sdaddy. He’s your x for a reason.
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Learn to love you and the right daddy for the children will be apparent…regardless…
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It didn’t work bc he lied and cheated and when we tried he didn’t think he had to earn trust back. He will never change although he promised so many times he would! I think there is a reason it didn’t work the first time. And you just replay history unless you both have changed a lot since the first relationship. It’s work. It’s hard. And I gave it 110% but he did not after promising he would. It all depends if both are willing to put in the effort and work it won’t if both don’t try!
I’m dating my ex husbands ex wife.
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Never.,.if Thad known what he did behind my back, I would have left years sooner!!!
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If your so quick to think about leaving your current boyfriend for a goddamn ex, then leave him, he’s clearly better without you … And then work on yourself, if your ex came back after all that time, then he will wait a bit longer. But in saying that no one will wait forever, and you can’t expect him to!
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- Years. Is. Not. Fair.
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Sounds like you need to do alot of work on yourself , and leave both these men alone.
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- Years. Is. So. Long. And. Who. And. How. Is. Your baby. Going. To. Bond. With. One. Of. Them
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Focus on yourself an your baby , You dont need any guys at this stage Just get it right for the 2 of you …Take Care …
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Girl FOCUS ON THAT BABY GEEZ !!
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You expect people to sit and wait years while you decide. The fact you are considering another man while in a relationship is wrong. You will leave your now boyfriend and then he won’t want you anymore. You sound like you need to be alone and stay away from both of them.
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Welcome to being the sure-thing/backup plan, he’ll stay until he meets someone else…if he stays at all.
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I no people who were married divorced nd got back 2gether at a latter time nd it worked infact I have a few friends I no nd a family member but the only way it will work is if both of u have actually changed 100%
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If your already questioning don’t do it
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