I need some other mommas advice here: little back story before we get started, my son 8 years old, has a mowhawk thats also a specific color, he has had this for almost a year he loves his hair and is extremely proud of it, in my household I truly believe in letting my children find who they are by letting them choose their hair color or letting them leave their hair as is, choosing their own style to help them find their own identity… anways… We are 2 days away from my friends wedding, my family is all part of the wedding, including my son who is the ring bearer, it is only a couple days away, my said friend texted me and told me that I have 2 options to either shave off his mowhawk or get rid of the color. When I spoke to my son he absolutely does not want to do either of these things, he LOVES his hair (mowhawk) with red on it. When I asked him about it and suggested trying a temporary color just for the wedding, he broke down into tears and does not want it going away. When I explained this to the future bride, she kept saying this is MY wedding. Mind you every aspect of this whole thing what we specifically need to wear for bridal shower, how our makeup needs to be on the wedding day, etc. She called me and told me she was having a “mental breakdown” over this hair dilemma bz its going to RUIN her big day, my momma bear instincts came out and I fully defended my son, as I believe she’s focused on all the materialistic things and not what a wedding is suppose to be about. I’m not at all excited about forcing my child to 1. Color his hair again and then have to redo it right after or try and do a temporary spray and it probably won’t match his real hair color on the sides of mowhawk or option 2. Completely shave it off… I need opinions from you other mommas on if You’d make your 8 year old get rid of his mowhawk that he loves and has had for a year.
I wouldn’t force him but let him know he cant be in the wedding with it … he can sit it out.
The bride can have whatever stipulations she wants and I understand her not wanting that look in the wedding. If he continues with the hair through adulthood he will still have to make decisions as unfortunately our appearance can hinder jobs and opportunities. He will have to decide if worth it.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Would you force your son to get rid of his mohawk for a wedding?
Nope I would not if he had it when asked to be apart of it
Or tell your friend to get a new ring bearer
Nope! She can find a new ring bearer
I would not shave my child’s hair if they didn’t want it shaved off. Can you just slick it all brushed back or to the side instead? Otherwise, since you’re friend is bringing it up last min, I’d tell her she needs to quickly find a new ring bearer
Pull him from being in the wedding.
He can just skip the wedding
She’d be finding a new ring bearee
Should have been discussed way before the wedding not last minute
We wouldn’t be friends anymore and she’d be funding a new ring bearer
I didn’t even need to read all of this DO NOT SHAVE HIS HEAD. Fr. Eff that. Don’t do it lmao
I read half… I think k your friend is being uptight and ridiculous. If she truly cares about your son then she’d accept him exactly the way he is!!! Do not break your sons heart over a prude. Sorry not sorry. Your children come first.
He’s 8! Absolutely not that would probably devastate him also your “friend” is being dramatic af for no reason by telling you your son’s hair is going to ruin her wedding! Find a new friend
No, tell the “friend” to find a new ring bearer and I personally would also not go so she can find a new whatever you are in the wedding also. There is no way I would make my child color or cut their hair if they didn’t want to for her wedding. She knew what he looked like when she asked for him to be in the wedding to begin with.
I’d let him choose. It is her wedding, and the pics are important to her…just as it is his body and it is his choice
I would take him out of the wedding party. 
I wouldn’t force my child to do something to match someone else’s agenda.
I’d tell her to find a new ring bearer 
Nope he wouldn’t be in the wedding and she would find someone else plain and simple
- There’s no talking to a bride-zilla
- She knew how your sons hair is prior to asking him to be in the wedding.
I would politely decline him being part of the wedding if his hair doesn’t stay as is.
Leave his hair, while it maybe her wedding she can’t dictate how your son wears his hair. I think it is rude that she even asked.
Your friends feelings aren’t over your son. I would back out of the wedding completely. How dare she even request that from you. She knew about his hair, I’m sure she even knows how much your son loves his hair.
Let her find a new ring bearer. I hate bridezillas.
No!! Don’t even have to read it…
If it were me, I’d tell my friend that if that’s the case, then my son will not be in the wedding and she’ll have to find someone else🤷🏻♀️
I wouldn’t force him to change his hair it’s not a fade he’s had it in the style a long time and it reflects who he is. She shouldn’t of asked him to be part of the wedding if she couldn’t accept him for who he is
I would respectfully tell her your son won’t be participating as ring bearer and yall will no longer be in attendance.
No way. Leave that kid alone. Get a new friend
Um no. He keeps his hair how he likes and I wouldn’t be a part of that wedding or friendship anymore.
Nope let him keep it. Tell her to find someone to take his place. Making him change to be accepted is not teaching him anything
If my child doesn’t want to do something, he will not do it. SCREW THAT.
Really sad that you’d consider hurting your son over a friend 
It’s the bride day, she has the right to have the wedding of her dreams… with that being said, if she doesn’t want a ring bearer with funky hair and colors, she needs to find a new ring bearer. If the color was just a wash out, then I would wash the color out and maybe comb his hair down instead of mohawk form. But I wouldn’t cut or dye it.
I can’t believe you’re questioning this.
She knew he had his hair this way prior to get getting married , he is 8 ! I wouldn’t force him if he feels this strongly about it & if she truly has an issue then I’d say that maybe she needs to find a different ring bearer so your child isn’t forced to do something he doenst feel comfortable with . I get it’s her day but come on it’s a kid , I think it would give her wedding some character
Nope. Nope. Nope. I’d allow my son to sit out if he wanted to.
Your son. His hair. Accept him as he is or text bride and tell her he has chosen to not participate.
Sounds like she needs to find a new ring bearer. She can want what she wants for her wedding but it’s his hair on his head if he wants to keep his Mohawk it’s his choice.
Having a mental breakdown because the ring bearer won’t change his hair for a wedding is stupid ridiculous. I’d pull him from the wedding or tell her to get the heck over herself.
She knew what his hair looked liked all this time and is now trying to bully you last minute. Your son already said no. Tell her accept it for find a new ring bearer. Stay at Home Moms 
Leave his hair alone
Offer to buy him a sharp looking fedora and if she maintains that he needs to change his hair, politely decline to have him perform the role of ring bearer.
Absolutely not. She can either except him the way he is or find a new ring bearer. She’s delusional if she thinks his hair is going to take away from the wedding. Stand strong momma… your absolutely doing the right thing defending your son.
2 days before the wedding and now his hair is an issue? I’d politely tell her you will not be traumatizing your child for her day and if she thinks his hair will ruin it, then she has 2 days to find another ring bearer.
I don’t know who she is to you, but after all that drama, I can tell you NONE of my immediate household would be attending her wedding.
Pull him out why change his whole look for one day ! She sounds entitled and selfish !
Shit I would decline from the entire family being in the wedding and she can scramble to fill all the spots vs just his!
No I wouldn’t do that to my kid he doesn’t have to be in that wedding at all she knew his hair was that way when she asked yall to be in her wedding
Keep the hair but dye it a temporary color?
My boys both had Mohawks for years. They kept them until they decided they wanted them gone. Since he has stated he does not want to change it, the bride now has 2 choices: find a new ring bearer, or decide that having him be part of her day is more important than his hair.
Shes having a mental breakdown because an 8 year old wants to keep his hair? I’d drop out of the wedding myself . Thats just mean
You are the boss not him, he’s freaking 8.
I would shave it off, it will grow back very quickly but those wedding pictures are forever.
She should have told you waaay sooner!
If he is used to getting his way his whole life than just remove him from the wedding and let him keep his hair.
I’d tell her for 1 she knew his hair is styled this way for a year. 2 you’re not going to force him to change it and 3 if she wants to have a big fit then she’ll lose all of you in her wedding and you as a friend.
Do not shave his head or change his color. Just tell her she never gave special instructions for him and last minute notice is not enough time. She can take your son the way he is and if she doesn’t like it then I’d pull your whole family that is part of the weeding out and send her a bill for all you’ve spent.
Leave his hair that is who he is
Sounds like your “friend” isn’t a very good friend.
She can find others to be in the wedding.
She knew his hair style and color BEFORE she invited him into the wedding. You have a 3rd option. Don’t go. I would choose option 3
I would not force him to dye or cut it. I’d actually tell said “friend” he can no longer participate as a ring bearer if it’s that big of a deal.
No, I’d pull him from it, while yes hair grows back, it’s something he loves. I’d be devastated if I had to dye my hair back to a normal colour for someone’s wedding, luckily mine was the same pinks as my moms colours. It’s not even family, it’s not her nephew or something anyways, she shouldn’t have left it to last minute
I don’t even need to read the whole post to give my answer. No, do not force your child to get rid of his Mohawk for ONE day. Idc if it’s “her day”. If she doesn’t like his hair color, find a new ring bearer.
I worked for a Harley dealership and was told that I could no longer wear my bandanna. The next day I showed up with a blonde mowhawk tipped with red gel. It looked awesome!
Let him decide. If he wants to keep his hair, let him. I had long hair for over 30 years. It’s only hair.
I wouldnt make him participate. These bride-zillas are going too far. Yes its her day, she could spend it alone 
Hell no. This is an awesome learning experience in boundaries and healthy relationships. He’s set his boundaries with what he’s comfortable with. If he shaved it off he would be miserable the entire wedding and likely resent her and you and be miserable until it grows back. We are big in body autonomy here too. Keep on keeping on
Um no. I would just tell her that you’re not going at this point. By making him do either of those things you are teaching him that he is less than. Also you are teaching him that giving up a peice of himself is normal and that he should change for others and lose himself little by little. I wouldnt even go if I were you.
I have the same situations I have kids with purple an blue hair . We have found that at beauty stores they sell those spray on hair colors maybe you could just do that as a few hour fix, I wouldn’t make him cut or re dye his hair just for someone else’s liking.
She can find another ring bearer… your sons self esteem is worth WAY MORE than her feelings about a perfect wedding💯
Tell her to find another ring bearer then
Absolutely not… would you shave your head or change your hair color for her wedding…most likely that is a hard NO… its ridiculous she would even make a big deal of it
I would tell her that he won’t wear it up in the mohawk position and it can be like slicked back or he just won’t be in the wedding. Trust me, if you shave that boy‘s head, he is going to be traumatized. My ex-husband did this once with my son knowing how he liked his hair longer, as a punishment for his bad behavior. It devastated my son and he was unable to function at school trying to wear a hood over his head because he was embarrassed by his buzz cut.
If she has such a problem he dosen’t have to be on the wedding. She knew what his hair looked like and still chose him.
Fuck her and her wedding.
he doesn’t need to participate. He shouldn’t be forced to change something he loves.
Nope. I’m a great grandmother and I believe in letting children have a say in some things. If he has had this style for awhile then everyone knows it and should not be surprised. Choose your battles carefully mama.
I’ve never understood why a lot of brides want to enforce a certain look on family and friends. It’s extremely ridiculous and of such little importance. Wear your beautiful wedding dress and let the rest wear what they want, or just have a party for two. With that being said, don’t shave his hair girl, it’s crazy you’re even considering it
Hell no her wedding is one day and he loves his hair I’d say to bad if u don’t like it find someone else
Is she even a friend. Tell her he isn’t being the ring boy.
Give him the choice . Tell him to be a part of the wedding that’s what she wants or he doesn’t have to do it . Then she’s out a ring barer . But he’s happy. I think let him choose . He shouldn’t have to change who he is for her
I wouldn’t allow him in the wedding then. Simple. Your friend is a bridezilla…
Bride or not, she is being unreasonable.
What about some kind of hat?
Um absolutely not it’s his hair if she doesn’t like it oh well she is not his mother
He’s had it for a year - if her pictures are more important then your little boys feelings - she can find a new ring bearer 100%. I would reevaluate my friendship with this bridezilla. She knew before and when she asked, the last year that he’s had a Mohawk. I’d tell her that you’re doing it and bring him to the wedding, Mohawk and all - take my son as he is or you don’t need to have any involvement in his life.
Absolutely not, you are a hundred percent in the right
Then she can find someone else to be the ring bearer. She knew what hair he had for the whole time he’s had it. Asking someone to shave or color their hair is a bit much.
I agree It is her wedding, but I think she is going to the extreme. I would tell her she needs to b ok with your sons hair as is, or he won’t be in the wedding. His hair is not going to ruin her big day.
I would not make him but he needs to understand the other side - if he doesn’t shave or get rid of the color, this means he doesn’t participate in the wedding. It’s a good lesson in setting boundaries. 
She’s known he’s had this hair style since before the wedding . Do not change your son’s hair for “her wedding day” I would suggest just pulling your son from the wedding and she can deal with the fall out
If he says no. Then I wouldn’t make him be in the wedding.
Heck no, i would take my son out of the wedding… I wouldn’t be a friend with that person either!
I wouldn’t go, she doesn’t seem to have any care about how your child feels. It might be “her” day but waiting this close to say anything about his hair when she’s had this whole time is messed up. Demanding that you shave it off or dye it is pretty drastic. Chances are if you do what she wants your child will resent her and you.
Sorry but I think I would have my entire family bow out of being in the wedding at all. say you can just go as guests if she’s that concerned about the appearances of things.
Nah id let him keep it. The bride shouldnt have asked for him to be a part of the wedding if she cant accept him and who he is.
She can find a new ring bearer. I mean she knew your son had his hair like this for over a year now and she is just now making a big deal about it. Please. She is nuts
Tell that bride she can find someone else. She knew he had it before she made the decision to have him in the wedding. How dare she ask him to change something about himself to suit her.
Personally I wouldn’t allow my 8 yr old to have a mohawk
Just don’t go then. I wouldn’t be apart of something that the bride last minute decided she didn’t like an aspect of my child and tried to force it to change. Don’t make him change his hair and just don’t go
Don’t give in to an unreasonable person
“Hair dilemma” wtf.
Nope you give her two options let him keep it or find a new ring bear.om