A kid in my neighborhood keeps causing issues: Advice?

Definitely have a real conversation with the mum. They may be struggling themselves with his behaviour and juggling work etc… youd be surprised how little support there truelly is for intellectual disabilities with dangerous behaviours attached… parents need support… if you care to, you could research any services in your area that could offer support and present it to the parents. Dangerous behaviours should not be taken lightly

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I would tell my kids they’re not allowed to associate with him and if he comes near your property, they are to come straight to you and tell you. I’d put up NO TRESPASSING signs around your property and if he continues to come to your house and you’ve asked him nicely to leave, call the police and have them talk to his mom about possible trespassing charges if he continues. The behavior you’ve described isn’t anything I would want my children exposed to. You don’t owe anybody any explanations. Your kids, your property. I’m sorry if his mom is struggling with his behavior and I hope they can get him the help he needs but I’d keep him away from my kids and warn other moms as well as they may not be aware. Sorry but the world is getting way too crazy and we must protect our babies at all costs.

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As i read your post i felt certain type a way about it amd wanted to comment right away because i felt certain type way about it.
Read couple comments then i just got sad . As a adult with ADD and a mother of a child with ADD i must say it hurts seeing that so many people don’t know what to really do. Pls don’t call cops or cps on this child that will be catastrophic for that child development.
As a adult that got diagnosed in my adult age and a child that was in therapy at 9 months age and thx to God we do not have behavioral problems amd i do really believe is because I learned so much with all the therapist how to be a parent to a child like that and please don’t blame or be angry with the parents mostly they are lost them self and totally burned out by this type child. The world is not build for humans like is amd many don’t get right resources to trive so they become problems in community. So here is what I recommend. If you are able to put your frustration and anger to side i would reach out to the parents and simply speak from your hart. Try to learn what they are like do they really se their child for what it is and put energy in him or that they completely unaware. Come to them with the approach of it is difficult with your child’s behavior at times and we get really frightened by it maybe you can help us better understand him so that we can still have him around. Now of parents are welcoming to that idea work with that and of not them i m so sad for that boy. What that means he doesn’t have right support from the closest once imagine how that mist feel for him. Your only option it trying to work directly with the kid by setting strict boundaries and rules with love and support. It does take time but it can be done. They do say is tales a village to rise a kid however i fell not when comes to neurdiverse children. I hope anyone that is reading this doesn’t think i l trying to shame anyone for commenting any type way we all are humans amd we learn every day amd that is what i m hoping to share my life with ADD. Hope this helps if not this kid maybe any kid

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Make a report to the police , get the other parents to as well. The other kids deserve to feel safe. My nephew has these ‘ issues’ but he doesn’t go around threatening other kids with a knife or being a bully.
Sounds like his mum doesn’t care. Would be different if that was her child

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I’m :100:per cent with every word you say.he should be supervised at all times.what kind of mother is she.Fmfr​:face_with_symbols_over_mouth:look after your tamarikis eeho​:face_with_raised_eyebrow::roll_eyes:

I suggest high quality security cameras and get the police involved.

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Even people with ADHD don’t do those kind of things. He’s definitely have something more serious going on and the mother is enabling him instead of seeking help.
It’s better to report it, not only for his good but the other children as well.

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I have adhd and my child has adhd as well. It is not an excuse for these types of behaviors. An explanation is not the same thing as an excuse.
Do what your gut tells you to do. If you feel led to reach out and try to help this boy — then do so without letting him out of your sight when he is with your kids. Offer to let him eat meals with you and your family or play games together.
Try to lovingly create healthy boundaries and be a positive influence in this boy’s life. But he’s not your child. The safety of your kids must come first. If you are afraid for your kids then don’t allow this child to come over anymore. You are also allowed to say things like no, not today, not right now, or never. :purple_heart:

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My sons adhd and autism he’s brought up same ways as other 4. No excuses for his behaviour.

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Absolutely would call the cops since Mom won’t do anything. The kid clearly needs help so maybe if the police go knocking at her door she will do something. Just because a kid has some wrong with them and are behaving like this because of it you so not have to just give him a pass to hurt other children. Mom definitely needs to step up and be a parent

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I would get the police involved. Make reports and try to connect with ALL of the children but not at your own expense.

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Talk to him. That poor mama probably thinks he’s safe with friends and your putting that boy down. My 5 year old has issues. Exactly how I put it. I pray to God in 6 years he will heal my son with joy and love to overcome his behavioral obstacles. It’s our job to love these kids. If it’s becoming a problem after you’ve done everything u can do as a mother (talk to his mother communicate, offer help, resources, etc) then set boundaries. If you cannot respect my rules you won’t be allowed here for 1 week. And take it from there. There’s a solution without making the poor boy a juvenile delinquent or making mother more frustrated.

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The knife incident alone requires a call to the police. This child requires far more supervision than he’s getting. And perhaps getting cps and the police involved will get him the help he needs. Is he really even in counseling?

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The mum is full of s*** call thr cops and child services. I have children that have those issues and they dont behave like that at all.
Bad parrenting

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Sounds like she doesn’t want to deal with him and he may be neglected at home. My exs kid has ODD and he’s not allowed out without supervision.

I’d tell your kidsif he comes around to come inside till he leaves. If he won’t leave, you can call the cops.

I had a neighbors child like that, and would tell him his behavior was unacceptable and he should go home for now, and when he calmed down he could come back! ADD/ADHD can make children more active with fewer filters for behavior and actions, but threatening another with a knife doesn’t seem to fit the norm! That sounds more like another more dangerous issue is in play as well!

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Get cameras and let the situation play out a while like any other day, so you’ll have proof of him stealing etc and his mom can really see what he has done and is doing to others. Once you have continued evidence contact police and keep/have the kids get in the habit of bringing everything in the house/garage/shed and locking it up.

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It sounds to me like the kid needs serious help.

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Make a police report and a report to social services

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She should still be punishing him and setting boundaries. If ADHD etc if you do not point out where he is wrong you are asking for trouble. Tell the mother perhaps she should take some parenting classes and to deal with him properly or the police might get involved. Because it might be for the boys own good.

We have a kid like this in my town as well. His parents are essentially useless.
The mom makes the same excuses and acts like everyone should just let him be violent toward & predatory in sexual manners and just say nothing to him or his parents because “he has issues”. He’s also around 11.

I wonder if we are talking about the same kid somehow.
Honestly. The only thing that kept this kid from doing nonsense this summer is the amount of times another mom has called the cops on him.

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Get cameras and the police involved if you have to. It’s sad when parents don’t watch their kids.

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I have to agree with other folks here. This kid is not getting the supervision he needs. I believe I would be having my kids come inside when he shows up and I would have him go check in at home. Tell him it’s time for him to let his mother know where he is and that he’s ok. Also to check and see if it’s mealtime at their house. If he gets nasty with you, tell him that if he doesn’t go on and go home for awhile, you will let the police know he’s causing trouble. I know that sounds extreme,but you need to let him know you don’t play, right off the bat.

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I wouldn’t go as far as child services… but definitely notify local authorities.

Take it to child services if you have already done so with local authorities and nothing is being done

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ADHD is no excuse for this kind of behavior, this is lack of parenting and it sounds like the police may need to get involved to get mom’s attention.

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I don’t allow that behavior at my house and if talking to his mother doesn’t work and he is committing crimes and hurting other the cops need to called. Ignoring these behaviors cause you feel bad or he has issues let’s ignore is how school shooters are made. Everyone looking the other way and making excuses for unexceptionable behavior

Wow such ignorant comments

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Call cps .the kid is 11 and the mother knows he has issues but allows Jim to freely roam and cause trouble? This may be a tragedy in the making!

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Try talking to the boy. Some kids are labeled with that and they don’t have it, they are just not disciplined. Not all but some. Sounds like she is use to making excuses for him. Just because he is mentally ill, doesn’t mean it’s ok to mistreat others and for others to endure abuse. If it can’t be helped, then he shouldn’t leave home without supervision. Also HE WOULD NOT be allowed around my kids as long as he is threatening them

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Well sale ur house and move cause the mother could be a single mother and had to work all the time to support her family, that could be a reason he is always distance from his house. Maybe the mother has tried or is trying to get help but resources are very hard and might cost more than she can afford. So only solution to keep ur kids away is pack ur house put it on the market and sale it but before u buy another make sure the new neighbor don’t have the same kind of child.

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Why were tye police not called when he made threats with a knife?

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He’s a neighborhood kid but you live half of a mile away? That’s not a neighborhood kid. If you’ve been told that he has issues, keep that in mind. Teach your children how to deal with children that have issues. Maybe he just needs a friend. I’m not excusing the behavior in the threats with a knife I’m just saying sometimes all the kids with issues like that needs is a little compassion from one other person.

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It’s perfectly okay to set boundaries and tell your kids they’re not allowed to play with him.

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Sound like she don’t care what he gets up to aslong as she hasn’t got to watch him

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ODD ADHD does not constitute him bring an arse hat and his parent being ok with him being an arse hat! Tell her next time something happens you are reporting it to the police, then follow thru.

Tell him he’s not allowed at your house :woman_shrugging:t3: you can’t make the parents care about what he’s doing but it’s your choice who’s at your house and in your yard. Anytime he comes over just tell him you would like him to head home or tell your humans to go inside until he gets it.

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I’d definitely let the cops know, let him know that he’s not allowed at or in your house because of his behavior and if that’s not enough, then like I said, call law enforcement and they should be able to take care of cps. If not then try a restraining order :woman_shrugging::pray:

so many comments making excuses for this child’s behavior

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Honestly the kid is probably lacking something at home which is why he acts like that. Maybe talk to Him. Maybe he’s neglected emotionally which is why he acts out. Maybe he lacks supervision at home and needs a stable environment. Maybe he can’t express his emotions at home which is why he does so outside the home. Call the cops if it’s that bad and make a report. Tell your kids to come inside when he comes around if your that concerned.

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An 11 year old shouldn’t have freedom to wander all over, especially if he has issues. If he’s threatening other kids. I’d get the police involved. Sounds like the mother would rather just let him do as he wants, instead of parenting. Maybe single mother that doesn’t know where to turn for help? She’s frustrated?

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He needs to know someone cares how he acts. Obvious mama does not. Child services could help this family

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Report it to the police,
He threatens and steals and knows he can get away with it cause the victims family will not call the police. He’s learning from both sides how to get away with it.

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call CHILDRENS SERVICES

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This makes me mad and why I cant stand it when I hear parents say their children have adhd most of the time them parents need to take care of their children. Good luck

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My oldest, has ODD, ADHD and high functioning autism. He’s not close to like this, but when playing with others, they can push him to far and upset him. And even then, if he hits another kid. He’s getting in trouble. He has “issues” but, there’s still consequences of his actions and he knows that. Be damned if he even tried to act this way.

Call the cops or cps…

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At 11 he shouldn’t be that far from home if he has issues. Does his mother know about all the things he’s been doing with the other kids? Make her aware of everything. If it continues you may have to call the law.

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It doesn’t matter if there is an issue there is such thing as discipline. Evidently the parents are too concerned because while he is out terrorizing they relaxing . I would call the police department and ask them what you should do because if he hurts someone …sometimes sorry isn’t enough… He just want attention or something and he not getting it and or he getting negative attention…I’m just guessing. But I would definitely call 911 for answers

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Ummm my child has adhd and doesn’t attack people. The mother needs to stop making excuses. That kid will be in jail one day

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we have a child in our apartment complex who is violent and openly pees on people. unfortunately, my son is now kept mostly indoors. my son is very introverted :[

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I’d call the cops on him and scare the crap out of him

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call the cops next time he Star’s his crap

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Cops will give a good wake up call!
That crap needs to get taken care of right away before it gets to out of control he’s already hurting people and saying he’s going to stab people then he needs the cops 100% why is everyone going to wait till this kid actually ends up doing it
And stealing like pathetic this parent just blames issues this kid actually needs a damn wake up call!

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Press charges on the kid

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Call the cops. Obviously the mother doesn’t want to be a parent.

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Don’t let him around your kids if he’s that bad!! If someone like that was coming around my kids, when I seen him coming I’d bring my kids inside and lock the doors. You can’t trust someone who is threatening others with knives. Once a tragedy happens it can’t be undone.

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Tell that kid to go home EVERY time he cone by your house

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Tell him he is not allowed at your house then? There’s a 4 yo I don’t let come over cause his mom dgaf what he does and he jumps all over my furniture and breaks shit. So they don’t come over any more. Either the woman will start disciplining the child or you won’t see him anymore. I have an adhd and odd kid and she has her moments that drive me up the wall but she knows when to listen and when she has some give to adjust the situation.

My son has ADD ADHD AND HAS NEVER ATTACKED ANYONE HE WILL DO ANYTHING FOR ANYONE HE WILL GIVE YOU THE SHIRT OFF HIS BACK HIS LAST DOLLAR :dollar: AND HE IS VERY WELL MANNERED HE’S HAD ADD SINCE HE WAS 5 YEARS OLD HE IS NOW 29 AND PEOPLE LOVE HIM AND TELL ME HOW GREAT HE IS AND EVERYTHING
MY OLDEST HAS ADHD AND IS THE SAME WAY SO NO EXCUSE!!!

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Everybody should run up

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We had a lil boy that use to bully the neighborhood kids. He tried it with my middle son and it didn’t go over so well for him by time all 3 finished with him. Had no more issues after that.

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Prayers. Sad this child is like this but sounds like he is a danger to others and hisself. The law needs to talk to his folks.

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Check with your juvenile law enforcement agency to see if you can get a restraining order against the family…including the child. If you can, then when he comes around your house, call the police and bring charges. Try to bring charges against the parents, as well. They will eventually move away, probably, but who cares, right.
Otherwise, call child protective services and the police for him being a vagrant around your property. Have them remove him from your area.

Don’t let him come over. I work with kids who are disabled or who have diagnosed learning disorders. Who see therapists, doctors, etc. They may need more attention and supervision but they don’t have to be out of control and aggressive. If he threatens someone, especially with a weapon like a knife, call the police. Make reports to children and family services. It’s not only dangerous for others when this kid is wandering around when he can’t control his anger and aggression. But it’s also dangerous for him. And it sounds like there is more going on. ADHD isn’t an issue. It’s a diagnosis and with treatment, doctors, therapists, etc it’s manageable. ADHD doesn’t cause kids to be violent and aggressive like this. There’s more at play.
The kid needs help and if the mom knows and isn’t doing anything maybe she doesn’t know what to do. But if children and family services steps in they can offer resources and guidance.
And if you really worry that he could hurt one of your children get a no trespassing order against him. You need less evidence to get a no trespassing order than you do a no contact order (restraining order/order of protection, etc). And then if he shows up on your property you call the police and they will do something about it. Then you will know your kids are safe at home.

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My daughter has issues but we work through them and encourage her in the right direction and it is NEVER an excuse to be rude to others. This is a parent fail. She needs to discipline in a way that works for him. Sounds like neglect.

I’d inform the mother that next time he comes onto your property and threatens or assaults your child you will be calling the cops and pressing charges.
Side note you should’ve already called the cops when he threatened the child with a knife.

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Show him love when he comes over instead of making him feel like an outsider. That may help. It can’t hurt.He already feels different. Just love him.What if it was your child.

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There are a couple of thought processes, his needs aren’t being met adequately with family or therapist. Parents either don’t care, uninvolved, or tired of trying and gave up. Maybe they don’t know what else to do and this is his cry for help because at least by acting out he is getting attention even if it is negative. I’m sure that there are more community resources available to help, but if no one is actively pursuing this he will just get lost in the shuffle and become another statistic. Unfortunate circumstances either wat for everyone involved.

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Bring your kids inside when he comes around. He will eventually leave if he has no one to hang out with then they can go back outside after. Or if he comes around just ask him to leave. There are a few kids in my neighborhood that cause problems similar to this, my kids know I don’t want them around them so they stay away but if they happen to go around them I just stay close enough where I can hear what is being said or see what is being done, that way if there is issues I can step in.

If you’ve already confronted the parents and nothing is being done to stop him by them, then the next step is to involve the police. Like a lot of others have said in the comments. Mom and dad have been told and he still out roaming and being a terrorist to the neighborhood, now it’s time to try something that may actually involve consequences of his actions. Even kids with issues need boundaries and discipline. From my experience kids with issues thrive with structure.

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Does anyone care about this troubled kid? I understand trying to protect your own child but geez people. It takes a village. Sounds like he has an empty parent or maybe she has to work 2 jobs and has no clue what to do. These troubled kids are the ones ending up being shooters! I noticed that no one said anything about a Dad being involved or responsible.

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Report to the police.Could cause harm to many people.That’s how we have school shootings.People need to notify police.

Call the cops. That is the only real way to help this kid because it seems his parents aren’t.

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Ummm at 11yrs old , I wouldn’t let him a half a mile from home :slightly_frowning_face:
And don’t let him come to your house OR treat him like he is one of your when he’s at your house, meaning don’t put up with his attitude :neutral_face: would you say something to your kid they were acting like he is? That’s the thing he will learn when he comes to your house that he hast to follow rules and be polite or he’ll just stop coming over and if his mom has a problem with you saying something to him and corrected him while he’s at your house tell her, that’s my house Rules and if he doesn’t wanna follow my rules and listen to me then he shouldn’t come over, 

Tell the child, when you are ready to safe, helpful, and kind you may come back. It sounds like the kid is a bully, those are bully tendencies. And ALL humans are capable of being kind no matter what! Shame on the mom for not being more responsible for his actions

Some parents are lazy and just dgaf.
There’s a 9 year old in my neighborhood who has pulled out his junk to masturbate while doing online schooling…
A couple months later, same kid tried to get other kids to suck his dick at his cousins sleep over. A sleep over he never should have been at! This kid is out here all day unsupervised. I can only imagine the amount of other children he’s victimized.

It’s so weird because when you look at him, you see this innocent kinda sweet kid…but he’s got some serious issues and his parents are 100 percent to blame.

Needless to say…my son isn’t allowed to be around him.

I had a neighbor exactly like this and she still does nothing about the kid. I’d report them and keep doing it🤷🏻‍♀️

Tell him he is not allowed at your home. Period. And if he doesn’t listen, get the police involved. Sorry to say that but sometimes you have too. I’ve been through it and it is the most stressful thing I’ve ever dealt with. I ended up moving it was so bad.

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Honestly as a mom with a son that had labels such as ocd odd od etc. If they cause harm call authorities mom is likely at her end with it and thet arent easy to keep in check under eyes…remember the diagnosis hes been labeled with will of been explained over and over and hes probably short circuiting at this point! I had police come get me from work as mine decided 10 mins of school was sufficient! Hed do alot of things but when he found his click (took a while) he started to change evolve into a whole different person! Its true it takes a village it also takes alot of patience and understanding! And I have no patience! Im 1 and done! Its hard but weapons threat of violence etc is a police call

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What a judgemental usumption unless you know as aparent how hard it is don’t judge maybe teach your children to accept and be nicer consequences lol I have one you can give consequences other doesn’t get consequences doesn’t mean this child hasn’t got structure at home coming from experience talk about judgmental how about be understanding try help the parent and child not go off

I had a kid around the same age come up and kick my moving car, tried to break my windows with his elbow and was just being horrible walking through the neighborhood so I called 911 and followed him until they came and picked him up. He was a foster child and has had many run ins with police already at TEN years old. I bawled my eyes out once I left. Hopefully if you involve them they can provide the parents with some resources to try to get him some help.

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Juvenile probation officer here- call the police. Early intervention is key to providing the right services to the troubled youth and family. It creates accountability for all parties rather than making excuses for poor behavior. Good luck!

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Call the cops!! The earlier, the better! Unless things change now, he will be in prison “for life”!!

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As a parent of a preteen with "issues " she might not be “letting” him roam. And getting help is extremely difficult. Ik my kid has done stuff that adults would be in jail for without getting any legal consequences. Police has even deterred ppl from pressing charges because "its not serious enough ". And Iv had to deal with dhs twice for whooping him. Parents get in trouble for parenting now and authorities dont do their jobs.

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Threatening with a knife has zero to do with ADHD. Tell your kids, the second he shows up, they are to come home. Anything they leave outside, bring it in & lock it up.
Personally, if he threatened anyone else, I’d be making calls bc in no way does him being in therapy make it ok. If this young man us terrorizing the neighborhood now, imagine what happens in 5yrs if parents don’t stand up? This child isn’t being helped if he’s riding roughshod over ppl & nobody is stopping him.

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Also, speak kindly but frankly with him letting him know your expectations of behavior if he wants to stop by, and consequences if he misbehaves

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Straight up tell is mother if you see him so far from home by himself you will call DFS and the police and his ADHD and ODD hun more going on with that boy

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I doubt your children want him around so along with his mom say he’s not welcome at your home anymore until his behaviors improve. Hopefully he is getting counseling but I think mom is letting the counselor do the work and she’s not doing anything. Sounds like she needs counseling too. He needs tough rules.

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Police…children and Youth. School Principal, Lawyer

If he comes to your house harassing your kids call the cops. Maybe his mom will learn she needs to do something more than “he has issues”. I don’t think he just has ADHD and OCD.

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Quit opening the door or interacting.

Alot of folks have brain conditions, I have several brain conditions and dont harass people. Its no excuse. Call the police to keep your child/house safe. He should def have a parent with him if he is away from his home. If they dont watch him maybe he needs to be in the hospital

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My son was like this if not supervised. He never set out to hurt anyone but always reacted to people winding him up. He was not allowed out by himself until he was almost 20 because of people winding him up to get him to react, to try and get him into trouble. We actually asked social care for help and were told, that, because we supervised too much and he had never been in trouble with the law in any way, we were not entitled to any help from them. However, when i finally had a breakdown they were very quick to threaten to take our children into care! We managed without help in the end, even while we fought them we had no help, although they did mention all the help and money a foster carer would recieve if he were to end up in care!
My girls have left home and have families now but my boys are 21 and 18, both with adhd, youngest also asd, both still need support and supervision as far as anger etc goes but are better now they have left school and nobody winds them up intentionally. You wont find more polite, caring, loving, helpfull young men than my boys though and for the most part its live and let live.
Give the boy a chance, explain what you wont put up with in a way he will understand and see how it goes before you ban him? Keep an ear open if you cant watch them

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Call the police, all parties should be involved in early prevention in getting this child some much needed help.

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Uuuuh hell naw lol you don’t talk to the mother you call the police! He’s threatening with a knife??? Nope nope nope

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My kid has ODD/ADHD we have a system, when you make poor choices you have consequences…I can guarantee my child is threatening nobody with knives😡
As a parent it is your business to know where your child is and what your child is doing
Making excuses for such poor behavior is going to get that kid in serious trouble one day

Time to get the law involved. The parent can either parent their kid or the kid can catch a case with the law.

As a parent with a child with ADHD it’s not an EXCUSE to allow this behavior the parents are responsible. Call the POLICE!!!

You can report it and he can be followed up and possibly monitored by Juvenile Justice. He probably needs it tbh and could help him become a stable adult