There is a kid in my neighborhood who is constantly causing issues with other kids…he threatned a kid with a knife, he has kicked kids, hit them, stolen bikes,…and everytime his mom is approached about it she comes back with he has “issues” he is seeing a therapist for…ODD/ADHD and idk what else…but if he has “issues” and you know about them…why are you letting him roam so far away from his own house? thats what I dont understand…he comes to my house which is half a mile from his own and is always starting something and im getting fed up…hes 11 years old and i get he should have freedom but it sounds to me he should not be out of this eye of his parents…i always worry when he comes around my kids…
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. A kid in my neighborhood keeps causing issues: Advice?
If she doesn’t take care of it call protective services and say that he’s roaming
Straight up call the police for trespassing when he shows up at your house. File a restraining order if you have the means. Sounds like the parents down actually give a shit and the law can’t intervene unless there’s complaints etc.
She’s not providing proper supervision for her 11 year old child who she has stated herself has issues. Call CPS. It’s neglect.
If he could possibly harm you or your children, I would tell him that he can’t come over and play at your home. I wouldn’t go into detail with him. I would just tell him that he can’t come play.
I would confront her again and tell her she needs to do something about it or I will. Simple as that.
My almost 8 year old has ODD & ADHD and does not behave like that!
Sit down and talk with the kid. Distract him. Change the scene. Tell him if he doesn’t act accordingly you will have to close the door. But get to know him. Noone probably every gives him a chance
Seriously how hard is to say go home your not welcome her you start to much trouble do not return to my house seems pretty simple
Maybe she needs some support? I can’t speak from experience but I’m sure it’s hard to have a kid that has these issues. If she’s by herself & doesn’t have help from anyone else, she might be just scraping by. I would try to talk with her, get to know her, & offer my support. If it still happens after that and she’s not receptive to help, she may be a negligent parent.
Keep a record of the incidents involving him especially if the police are called in a matter. Since he is a minor you would have to serve his mom with a no-contact order if matters get worse. There’s a kid in my neighborhood doing the same thing and neighbors are going through the process now to have him trespassed from the property and the police are involved. But the child is a minor and has rights so things have to be done a certain way in order for the outcome to be affective. Good luck
No one wants to put blame on their child unless they’re seriously true to themselves about it. It’s all about add/adhd these days. Back in the day no one cared, you either get straight or you don’t. It’s still the same, she either gets him straight or he will end up in prison down the road or, maybe not prison, but in trouble at some point. Just step away from the child.
you actually don’t know the full situation either there could be violence in his home something could’ve happen to him etc. like someone else suggested talk to the child and let him know he can trust you cause if he knows he has one adult he can come to and trust he’ll open up and tell you what’s going on. Once you can get to know him and find out what’s going on then you make a decision if he’s actually safe or not in his home and if u don’t think he is then u make a call to child protection services
Report him to the police.
Tell him to stay away from your property and home. Then you don’t have to worry about it
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It’s your house. You say who is allowed there.
We had a kid in my neighborhood tell my kids his dad was going to come kill then with his gun. I confronted the mom and she basically said the same thing, he has issues ect I told her he was never allowed at my house or around my kids anymore. The kid tried to come over and ask if he could play and we told him no he hasn’t been over since.
Sounds like our old neighbor. He was the worst and his “parents” blamed everyone else. He was banned from 90% of the houses in the subdivision, expelled from school but nothing was his fault. It was awful.
Hahaha yeah he’s got issues with the mom not parenting him . I’ve met kids who have odd my own kid has adhd and does not act like that
I would let him know he’s not welcome on your property at least
Don’t let him in or near your kids
The mother has to unbury her head outta the sand and deal her child’s shitty behaviour.
Ban him from your house. Call the cops on the little psycho. Many ppl have those diagnoses and don’t behave like animals.
Christina Cecilia Fleming
This is like embrys mom
I would call the cops if he was threatening my kid. Especially if he’s threatening with a knife or putting his hands on them. Other than that, unfortunately you can’t make his parents do anything. But I’d definitely keep and eye and keep my kids away.
Please don’t let him around your house or children.
Tell him your rules and if he doesn’t do them, he has to go home.
Report to social services. 11 yrs old…on a bike, mile from home, has knives…etc. where are his parents? That’s not okay. Parents need to be held accountable. Get pd involved before some innocent child gets hurt. Having issues is no excuse to violence or his behaviors. Period.
I would say something to him. Along the lines of, uhm hey Sir I’m not sure your parents allow this type of behavior but me as a parent WILL NOT TOLERATE IT. Either you play and get along with others or I’ll drag you home to your parent(s) by the ear. Oh and I’m not fuck!ng around! Have a wonderful day bud.
Do you live in my neighborhood? Sounds exactly like a boy here. Eventually enough people complained, that they got him actual help. Mental health issues or not a threat is a threat, and you gotta protect your kids. I’d start making complaints to the city if talking didn’t work.
If your child is violent it is your job to watch them when they’re around others. Wtf is wrong with people? Just because your kid is getting help doesn’t mean they aren’t a threat to themselves and others. Jfc
Maybe be gentle with him, offer a soft drink, chat with him, find out what the “ root” of his anger/ hurt might be, show him you Care.
Call the cops and let them know he’s making threats like that and the mom is just letting him roam free sounds as she just doesn’t care what he does and if he’s got problems as she states then he should be where she can keep an eye on him not roaming around a neighborhood free as he can be threatening other kids with weapons and stuff I would let her know if he came back on my property again I would be calling the law then maybe she would watch her child
Tell the kid yourself to go home and don’t return, if he refuses get the social services involved… clearly the mother isnt going to do anything and doesnt care
Tell him to leave your property and tell your kids if they are out playing with friends not to be around him, if he goes around them they should go home.
Don’t let him in keep your door shut and locked
Ext time he causes problems get the juvenile authorities involved.
I’d gather all the parent up who are worried for their kids and go to his house and make a big fuss . Show his parents you guys are done .
Also threatening with knives . Ask law enforcement what extent you’re allowed to take when he is putting childrens lives at risk .
Personally if he did that on my property he would be body slammed so hard his souls would leave momentarily and held with extreme force till the police came . I don’t care how old he is . The moment my children become at risk due to this evil behaviour is the moment I do what I HAVE TO in order to keep my children alive and unharmed
My son is the same age. Has the same diagnosis along with ptsd. That being said I know for a fact he’s dangerous to others if he is triggered which is why he is not allowed to go anywhere by himself. Talk to the mom gently. You have no idea how incredibly hard it can be. Maybe she has no support. But yes if I were you I’d let her know that he isn’t welcome in your home for safety concerns.
You may unfortunately need law enforcement documentation. When he is around and acting out call the police. Don’t hesitate.
Kindness. You don’t know what this kid is going through at home and what he’s seen growing up “under his parents supervision”maybe that’s what and why you don’t understand. The mom doesn’t sound like she’s making excuses but the message I’m receiving here is more like pleading for some “village support”.
Try welcoming him in your home, tell him you don’t tolerate none of the things he’s done and show what a family or mom is really like. He might grow up and you be the one person he’ll never forget who showed him kindness and planting that seed now isn’t such a bad idea for the future with the way this world is heading…
I understand all about wanting to protect your own kids, but try to have some compassion for another child. If he shows changes in his behavior, you’re higher self with be so glad you did! But if he doesn’t, atleast you tried and he’ll never forget that kindness you showed him! How do you tell him he can’t come back if it does continue, just tell him you guys got a new job and your kids will be with their grandparents during the times he comes around. Make up something so it doesn’t make him feel too “rejected”, remember he is a child. It’s not his fault, yet. Never be the cause. But always be the effect. Not all moms have family for support and moms can suffer from depression and it can cause marital problems that not a lot of people like to talk about, ya know.
Maybe the kid just needs and could use some good friends. Be kind. Don’t have to like the parents but you could like the boy if he wasn’t like that. Come on now. You could be the only neighbor that is kind to this kid, or family. Who knows. I would be, I know that.
Can you talk to his parents?
Don’t let him play with your kids, simple
You stand up for your kid if he comes around. Lay down rules/boundaries… even telling him he isn’t welcome acting that way. Everyone saying it takes a village…. Be the strict/tough one.
But some of those actions, like the knife and all that…. That’s criminal. I get that kids fight, I was in fights as a kid, but that’s too much.
Start reporting him to police or social services. 11 is old enough to learn about consequences. Just because he has issues doesn’t mean give him a free pass.
Call the police! They’ll come n have to go speak to his parents and this should really help his mom know people are serious about the trouble and problems he’s causing❤
Sounds like a old fashioned ass whipping or back of a cop car!
Maybe this kid has no friends and acts out. I realise this is not ok behaviour but has anyone tried being nice to this child?
No excuse for his behaviour , maybe he needs boot camp
Oh I so feel for u what do u do not fair for the kids that have to put up with this behaviour
Call CPS I have a feeling he isn’t getting the right attention he needs. 11 is still too young to be roaming around like that especially in today’s world. He could dissappear and nobody would know. My granddaughter is 11 and she doesn’t go anywhere where we don’t know and someone is keeping an eye out.
We had this happen & time & time again the parents made an excuse. And I told them it’s gonna eventually come to blows. Kid threw a rock at my younger daughter & her sister (3 years older) laid his @$$ out. The parents came to our front yard & was like do you know what your daughter did? I said oh did she end up being the one I warned you about? They didn’t reply. My youngest walked out with blood on her face & I straight up said see what your kid did? He does this crap to anyone else in the neighborhood & you’ll look like my youngest. Never had an issue since then and that was about 3 years ago. No regrets. Points were made Be a damn parent yall. Stop with the excuses.
We have a neighborhood kid like that and I flat out told him him he’s not allowed in my yard or driveway. His mom wasn’t impressed but whatever. And the first day I met them her 4ish year old let himself in my house, ran up the stairs, and hid in my upstairs bedroom until his mom went up to get him. Ummm, nope. Don’t care that your kids have “issues.”
Has anyone confronted the boy? Not harshly but stood their ground with him?
He is lonely and expects attention from only being irrational
Maybe the next time he just shows up have a group thing or like a bunch of bottles of bubbles. A lot is time they can’t control themselves and if you confront them it will make him and but he will back down.
He needs to express that he feels like you feel that way about him either
way. And obviously his parents are dealing with it when he’s not roaming so it’s also her time to peace.
I’m sorry your going through this it can be get frustrating. Please be patient. It will be worth it. Just don’t be mean about it and it will be really hard sometimes not to.
If he is affrsssive or violent and you’ve told his mom and she can’t or won’t address it then maybe mention it to the school when it starts.
Hugs. Hard love to a hard love case is hard to convince worth to.
And if she tells everyone that then he thinks he’s broken too.
My daughter had that problem with a kid bullying her son. She tried to report it at school, in the end , she said to the teenager “ next time you put a hand on my son, I will be round your house and drag your mother out, and smash her up. It never happened again
The hate on this post sickens me …
Said everything u said here to his mother… like why does everyone have so much to say not in person
Call cops turn in mom
Teach you kids to fight back once your kids teach him he’s not a bad as he thinks he is he will stop
Next time he does something illegal, call the cops or just tell him to leave.
Just don’t let him come to your house
If he is stealing and threatening people with knifes then a police report needs to be made. I hate when people blame bad behaviors or poor choices on their disorders like ADHD/ADD or other things. I know someone like that and it drives me crazy. I had childhood cancer but I don’t go around blaming everything I do on that.
Don’t let him around your child period…have a talk with him and tell him he’s not allowed around your home…that’s trespassing…then involve the police if you have to and let the mom know you’ll call the police…I’ve done the same thing…you have the right to ask the kids to never come around…I know he has issues…but it’s not your problem…call the police!!!
I totally feel you it can be so frustrating… I have the same issue with a kid in my neighborhood. She’s 10 and she has high functioning autism. She broke my daughters arm by pushing her there were witnesses and has hurt her several times, and has had serious issues with all the other kids in the neighborhood, still don’t blame her. However her parents are always drunk and very negligent and so various times we had to threaten the police and finally after 3 years her parents finally told her not to play with any of the kids on the block and all the problems were solved. I feel super bad for the child but the real problem was the parents never ever watched her…
Just because kids have mental health items does not mean you get to use it as an excuse not to teach your kids about boundaries or to respect other people.
Call the police. Let them know own about his behavior and distance from home. Sad, but it’s also for his safety. Unless you can closely watch the kids at play, it may be your only option
Press charges, he needs help too
Ask him to leave if he at your house and starts any of this while visiting your yard and while around any of the kids, then if he don’t cease, call the police. I don’t care what he got, he can keep it at home.
So he definitely seems to have issues but I think most likely he’s not getting a positive role model and healthy discipline at home. It doesn’t mean that’s definitely the case. I have a 12 year old that is not acting the way that I’ve been raising her right now and it’s difficult for sure. But it does seem with that sort of freedom at a young age it can only lead to problems when he’s inclined to behave the way he does. I don’t know that calling CPS would necessarily help the scenario because foster care is a worst case scenario and rarely helps the child or the family. It’s definitely not your problem and you don’t really know him well and then if you give him attention it could certainly backfire by having him over there all the time, but maybe there’s a way that you can figure out if there’s like a big brother a big sister program in your area for another community type place that he can get a mentor and some positive interactions. If you know the school he attends maybe reaching out to the guidance counselor or the social worker and seeing if they can reach out to the family and offer some community support. Maybe you can encourage him to have positive interactions by getting involved and setting up a kickball game on your street or something like that. I feel bad for him because sounds like he doesn’t have anyone to spend time with. It’s definitely late in the summer but maybe the School district offers something. I know here in my school district they have a free s t e m program Monday through Thursday 9:00 to 12:00. Something like that would probably keep him busy and socialized. Maybe contact the school and find out what they offer free or low cost or what community programs are offered and present the mom with some options. You could even spin it like, I noticed so and so keeps coming around maybe he’s bored? I was considering enrolling my own kids and I thought your son might be interested.
Half a mile is not even far
Having issues doesnt give people the right to cause destruction everywhere they go. Sounds like that kid should be kept at home
If he’s that much of a nuisance, I’d call the police and report him every time. That’s so it’s documented in case anything happens. Also, mom would hopefully watch out for him more.
Everyone says call the police? At first I also thought maybe you should call the police? But if he’s a black kid? He could get killed!
While I am usually against calling the police on children, this is a case where that’s what you have to do. Theft, assault terroristic threats and mom blames it on his mental health? And let’s him roam. Let’s prevent another Ted or Jeffrey.
Remember the kid who killed all those kids in Texas? His mother said he had “issues” did his killing the children and teachers in Texas take care of those “issues”?
In Baltimore, kids were hanging out on a porch when a 9 yr old boy took a 15 yr old girl’s Gatorade. She wanted it back, he got mad and pulled out a gun and SHOT HER IN THE HEAD!!! Kids who have issues and aren’t monitored or supervised can be very dangerous…
Tell the child and parents. he is is not to visit with out his mom or dad with him. You are not is sitter as he is allowed to roam
I had a similar issue. The kid had autism. That was always mom’s excuse. Long story short he broke another boys arm. My son beat him to a pulp to protect his friend. His mom wanted my son charged. If he hadn’t stepped in the other boy would’ve had more than a broken arm. He may have been killed. After that CPS stepped in & took all the kids in that family.
I have 2 autistic children myself. This isn’t the illiness. This is overwhelmed parenting. The mom let’s him go away from home without supervision because she desperately needs a break from him. She makes him your problem instead. I wish I had advise for you. Idk if your local police would do anything or if CPS would investigate. You can both.
ODD stands for Oppositional Defiant Disorder, please look this up and read about its effects. By all means set boundaries with the child by not allowing them in your home or on your property if that is how you feel. That is a great first start and you should absolutely make the child’s parent aware of these boundaries. Please do not call the police on the child unless it is a dangerous situation such as the knife scenario you exampled. The child is going to therapy which is the only way to properly treat this disorder. I’m assuming they are probably going to Behavior Therapy along with other therapies hopefully. The parent is probably exhausted and also just needed some sense of normal as this disorder can be extremely difficult to live with. Your frustration and worries are very justified. Just please keep in mind that some disorders are beyond anyone’s ability to control or modify appropriately or quickly and that those involved are hopefully doing the best that they can.
I am a Registered Behavior Technician and have worked with several youth with an ODD diagnosis. It is not easy and is very taxing on their parents and caregivers.
Perfect example of fuck around and find out. When it comes to my kids these hands are rated E for EVERYONE
You will have to make it clear to both him and his parents that he isn’t welcome on your property. It’s the only thing you can do to protect your kids.
Having issues doesn’t mean he should get away with it, also if he has those issues why isn’t his parents taking him to see a therapist or a Psychiatrist￼
Let him know that he is NOT welcome to be next to your kids and your property , call the cops and have CPS involve his parents should have a visit from them
I’m sorry but I would call the police and let them deal with it. Sounds like mom and child both need a wake up call
Something needs to be done for sure before someone gets badly hurt. He shouldn’t be that far from his parents sight in the first place and there is no way I would want a child who hurts others by my kids. Clearly his mom doesn’t care enough about her child’s actions
Be the parent he needs you to be cause clearly his parents aren’t doing a good job. That’s what I would do. I would never ruin a child’s life by calling the cops on them. That’s just to much in my opinion.
Unfortunately it sounds like getting the police involved is the only way to go then maybe he’ll get the help he needs his parents will be forced to do something
Depends. If safety is endangered then call cops asap. If child is not getting therapy child really needs it. If the child continues I would have cops do a well check, see if parents are trying to get it in check.
Kids now parents aren’t raising them they tell their parents what to do,old fashion ways worked.I don’t care what anyone says,bible says spare rod the spoil the child.Children have no respect for anything if you aren’t taught.We were never allowed in a room with adults talking.Our neighbors had permission to spank your behind if you got out of hand.Tell me now days are better, Kids are killing people .
You have to call the police. You can’t let your children and other children suffer because of this kid. It will only get worse
Maybe he sneaks away
Send him packing…you don’t need to put up with it
It sounds like the parenting is not great. Maybe someone should call cps. If he’s doing this now, what will he be doing 5 years from now? One day he might hurt someone and they will give him a taste of his own medicine. The mom said he has issues but that doesn’t give him the right to hurt or steal. He will end up in jail.
I would no longer allow him in my home. Explain to your kids that his problems probably cause his behavior but for-their safety they areto stay away from him. Parents are negligent here
Call the police or cps get a restraining order but do something because if he’s threatening kids with a knife you could have a killer in the making roaming your neighborhood
Have you tried sitting down with him and talking to him about why his behavior is destructive and what it will lead to in the future? Maybe if he felt genuine compassion from another person (we don’t know what his home life is like) he might open up to you?
I’m not excusing his behavior and definitely you need to keep your kids safe, but maybe he needs a good role model and reaching out to him personally might help.
Kick the shit out of him
He can get punched in the face for those issues, too.
This child could also suffer from trauma and he obviously isn’t getting the proper care at home. Having a child with these challenges is not easy, but it’s also not an excuse to use these challenges as an excuse for this behavior. I agree that if he’s causing these problems, call the law. This seems like a cry for help and Noone is noticing the signs.
Call Child Services and the cops next time.
Stop it from happening.
Tell him he can’t play unless he plays nice and follows rules
Even then don’t let them out of your site.