A list of why my mother in law bugs me

Here’s a list of the things she does that I do not know how to handle.
  1. Refers to herself as “mama” on accident (has happened many times)

  2. Cries when she sees a photo album in our home that she is not included in (we live in different states and she is in some of the books)

  3. Regularly makes me feel guilty for wanting to live close to my own parents while simultaneously begging us to move near her every chance she gets

  4. Shares drinks with my toddler even though I have told her that I do not feel comfortable with it

  5. Asks me to “pick what she wears” when she is visiting and we are going out. I’ve told her that I’m happy to provide feedback or my opinion on different choices but I will not physically CHOOSE her outfit for her

  6. Mimics my every interaction with my children. If I say “it’s okay sweetie” she will say “it’s ok sweetie” if I grab their hand she will too etc.

  7. Insists we take home her restaurant leftovers when we go out even though I’ve told her nobody wants a hamburger with five bites out of it, asked her to cut off the parts with mouth contact/told her we aren’t interested in eating them.

  8. Asks to see the menu before sitting down at a restaurant to check the prices. We walked in and out of TEN different restaurants on one particular outing. She is not poor, just cheap.

Every time she leaves our home after a visit (usually visits once every month or so from out of state) I have a nightmare that I die prematurely and she raises my children as her own and erases all memory of me. I know this is irrational but I cannot stop having the dream and I believe there is an unhealthy dynamic going on that is causing psychological distress. I never feel weird like this about anything/anyone else.

These are just a few things I can thing of. I can’t really talk to my husband about a lot of it because I don’t want to hurt him. Any advice? I may get a therapist just to deal with my MIL drama. Thanks!

I think your being petty. Some of that stuff while slightly annoying is not the worst I have seen or heard. Some of these quirks you know about and can avoid by just doing it. For as long as you love your husband you should respect him enough to deal. She is literally only comes once a month. People have no tolerance these days. :roll_eyes: