A struggling marriage

My husband and I have two kids 5 and 2. We have been having issues. Talks lead to fights and I’m just not happy. We have talked divorce but always back away from it. Mainly because 1. I’m so scared we are making a mistake. 2. I’m scared he won’t be the dad he needs to be for them (he told me he wouldn’t) 3. He already told me if we divorce we will never be friends and co parenting will basically be a hands off to the kids and we won’t talk at all. He’s leaving for 3 months for work and said he wouldn’t talk to them until he got home because he refuses to call me to talk to them if we separate . Please help. Has anyone went through this?