Advice needed. Long but please bare with me

First off u know the problem…you sound like good mom…but if u continue to stay in the situation with your child that would b grounds of u loseing your kids…and neither one will have the kids…get your kids go to department of human resources they will put you in safe place …it’s free…they will help u get your own place furniture everthing u need…if not for u you do it for the babies they deserve safe place…

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How is this even a question? Get rid of this headache.

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Evict him and his dusty ass.
There’s a reason he gave up custody. There’s a reason him and his other child mom aren’t together.
We’re not doing toxic going in to 2022 :100:

Sounds like you need to ask him to leave. If he can’t contribute to the relationship or the household why is he staying? And if his child hurts your child, why didn’t you make them leave the second you notice there was no safety and support for your kid? Do what’s best for your kids and you… if he’s suicidal and made statements then turn him in for a Psych evaluation. And then say he cannot come back. Period.

Be safe. Be well.

Contact an attorney today. Most will do a free 1 hour consult. You need to get out as much as it might hurt now, you will forever thank yourself when you’re free from him.

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All of you telling her to leave him are crazy… it’s HER house, she needs to kick him out and change the locks ASAP. He’s not going to change. Stop allowing him to treat you that way. You’re already raising your children alone, so you might as well lose the dead weight and be alone. I seriously doubt he’ll take you to court for custody or visitation, but if he does you need to ask for supervised visitation for him.
If he won’t leave on his own, the next time he tells/texts you suicidal statements you can call 911 and tell them. He can be IVC (involuntary commitment) which is a mandatory 72 hour hold for psych evaluation to determine if they need more intensive inpatient care or can follow up with an outpatient psychiatrist/psychologist/therapist.

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Wow. I don’t think you need to hear what we have to say to make the right choice. You know exactly what you need to do. Send him and his kid packing and change the locks. He will never change. You are only there to keep him off the street. He don’t care or love you or the kids except his 1st kid. He seems violent and if you don’t get rid of him fast ur kids are going to suffer.

Sorry but he sounds like an entitled brat that’s never had to grow up and doesn’t want to…it’s clear he isn’t learning from his mistakes and doesn’t want to…like you said complete narcissistic behavior. Normally I think it’s great if people can work out their differences and stay together, especially when kids are involved, BUT you NEED to get you and your babies away from him. He’s dangerous to everyone involved. Don’t worry about a broken home, it’s already broken and he’s doing the breaking…you need to cut him out of your life and make a better atmosphere for you and your babes…and maybe an amazing man will come along and love you all like you should be loved! Just make a plan with an ultimate goal in mind and work it…you got this! Good luck mama!!

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Sounds like you know what you need to do… not sure what kind of advice you’re seeking. Kick him out.

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Honey, it’s time to move on for you and your kids. You deserve so much more. Good luck

Well then tell his ass to leave. Clearly you and any of those kids are his priority at all.

Leave, no one deserves a relationship like that. And why does it matter if you bunk up the 2 year old and 13 year old? Especially when his son is hardly there? That’s just stupid imo. That complaint just makes no sense. Your child is 2, technically he doesn’t need his own space yet. But either way I’d still leave.

First i want to say that I understand it’s hard to leave and it’s much easier said than done. I’m speaking from experience. Second please leave…it took me until my second child was 16 months old and it was the best decision I ever made. You will eventually see light at the end of the tunnel, and life does get better over time. Good luck!

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Run sweet girl! You and your babies will be better off! You’re doing it on your own anyway, you’ll be fine! Even better bc you won’t have the constant stress and worry! Good luck :heart:

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I got about halfway through this and just couldn’t read any more. Why, oh why would ANYONE stay with a person like this? People are either adding to your life or taking away, and he is definitely taking away. Kick his ass to the curb!

You cannot just put him out its illegal file for eviction and take those texts to cops file a restraining order for you and your child the gun text scares me. You can also possibly Have him put on 72hr psych hold. He’s not going to change he’s going to end up hurting or killing you then the kids will be without s mom

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I’d go get a restraining order, QUIETLY, and have him served by local law enforcement or sheriff. I’m quite certain they will see this as domestic to some extent especially if you print off some texts about his suicidal thoughts and they will not leave your residence until he has had his 15 minutes to get his shit packed and GO. I know it sounds harsh but based on what I’m reading it’s time to let the damn trash take itself out. You already know the answer to your situation unfortunately. You were hasty in your decision to have more with him but you can give yourself the next 20 weeks to prepare and begin healing after basically living with what I consider a “squatter”. Wash your hands and move the fuck on. Show your kids you deserve better and show THEM THEY ALSO DESERVE BETTER FROM RELATIONSHIPS!

You don’t need my opinion you know what to do.

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Wow tell him to get out lol seems like u don’t need him for anything you’ll be better off

Go don’t tell him when.don’t tell him where you are.get a restraining order to him him away. Place your kids needs and safety first.

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Protect ur children. Put them first. Get out of that relationship. Everything will be ok.

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Your goin to a world of misery unless you stop this mess now

Turn the bedroom into a nursery for your new baby. He threatened to leave if you did so let him. If he don’t then tell him it’s over and kick him out. If you feel like this I dont get why you didn’t just decide to do this. I know it’s hard and your worried about being a single parent but better that than your kids get harmed or you or worse they turn out like him. Good luck xx

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Start documenting so if custody arises or later the children at an appropriate age have questions you have Yourself covered. It is up to you if you need the relationship to end or not, but documenting is another step to protect you and your babies.

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You could ask for help at your next doctor appointment they usually can help yoi

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You are already doing everything for your kids, what does he contribute? Honey, a peaceful loving home with one parent is a much more conducive environment than having a man that screams and shouts names at their mother. Is that how you want to raise your babies? By keeping him around and allowing that behavior to go on is teaching them what they should tolerate or expect in a relationship and that’s not doing them or you any favors. Break the cycle. What do you have to be scared of by leaving? Your self resect is worth fighting for. He’s using you and you are allowing it. If he wants a relationship with his kids, then he can build it, that’s not your responsibility, it’s his. Best advice I ever received, how they are today is how they are going to be 5 years from now. If you can’t handle it now, get out.

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Ummmmm I think you know the answer to your problems

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Didnt need to read that all the say to my self why are you with this guy get rid of the trash

Please leave this man. If he contributes nothing but negativity to your relationship and is a present but non-participating parent to your children he needs to go. And choosing one child over another is unacceptable.

Yup that’s right you are not important to him.

If you’re the main provider, kick him to the curb. He’s an anchor, dragging you down. Be FREE … it’s better to be alone & happy

You provide everything kick him out! If his kid is actively trying to hurt your child then putting him in a newborns room is disastrous to say the least. My ex husband was just like this I left when my son was 1 1/2 here we are 9 years later and he is still the same spends all his money on weed doesn’t even take care of his son when he visits with him he drops him off at his mothers house and this is the man that begged me for 5 years to even give him a son! Having said that a home with only one parent who’s productive and positive is by far better than a home with two parents who fight and don’t actively participate. Ask yourself is the the kind of relationship I want my child in? If the answer is NO then get rid of him! Have him sign his rights away and be done for good you and your kid’s life will be soo much better. You can prove with those texts he’s not mentally stable and file a restraining order and start the eviction process. Best of luck to you.

Do you you have to put his ass out he ain’t no good you already doing it by yourself nothing going to change except you’ll have more room in your bed

Your in an abusive relationship, leave. Get a lawyer and give him all the documents you have. Get full custody of your children and make it enforceable, get child support for everything from child care, extracurricular activities, medical bills, ect. Its time to mave on and start thinking about your kids.

I didn’t even finish reading this. Get rid of him.

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Why are you having sex with this loser? Kick him out!

Throw him out? And stop breeding with losers

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Honey you need a therapist. You and your children deserve better. A broken home is better than them growing up learning it’s alright to treat you bad and also feel less than loved by dad themselves. I promise you he won’t leave if you give your baby space. He is using you and you are allowing it. If he leaves try to get him on video moving out. Change the locks and then don’t talk to him. You can do it alone because you already have been. Don’t listen to his crap. Narcissist is not going to change… the children are better off with out him since he doesn’t care about, feeding, clothing or loving them. Praying for you momma. In your heart you know you need to get him out. Start eviction if you have to.

You’re already putting your kids through it. Literally your 2yr old already feels how little their father loves them. Don’t let him put his name on the BC and kick his stupid @$$ out before he gets worse because he will. Your kids deserve better for sure. I hope you know they do… and it sure sounds like you do too.

Also, if you need a stay at home job, we do call center work from home. It’s not fancy but it pays the bills. Lmk

It’s either raising 4 kids on your own. Or choosing to raise 2 kids on your own. He doesn’t respect you nor the kids. Don’t enable him and his toxic behavior anymore. You’re strong. It’s gonna hurt and it’s gonna suck. Go through the grieving process but he needs to be removed from yours ans the 2 babies lives

You can get a court order for DNA and even if he isn’t on the BC it’s legal proof he’s the biological, then go for CS, kick his ass out first

You need to keep the 13 year old away from your children period, even if you decide to keep doing this dysfunctional dance with this guy it would seem that his malignant psychology has passed down to his son and if you keep him around I’m sure it will pass down to your kids as well

It’s your house, tell him to leave.

It’s your house. Put baby in own room. Let him leave if he doesn’t change the locks. Your child won’t miss what they don’t have. He isn’t helping raise them

If he has been this way with you and your first child for two years why would you have a second child with him? Just curious.

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AND why are you Even with him?

I stopped reading about 1/4 into this. Just leave him. Let me tell you, I left my kids father and it was the most liberating, weight lifted off my shoulders, amazing feeling I’ve ever felt.

Strange you would have a second child with this man knowing full well he had all these problems! Why? He is basically using you. You need to kick him out and maybe get someone to rent out part of your house to help with the rent, and get a job so you can be independent.

It’s better to have come from a broken home then to be in one.

You’ve got this :heart:

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