I’m a mother of a two year old, and I’m still with my daughter’s father, and we’ve been together for four years. We have had more downs than ups being together. At this point, I know he will never change. I’m currently going to start going to counseling for myself because I want to become a better person and a better parent, of course. I want to leave my baby father, but it’s hard because he’s been the only support that I have had. I don’t speak to my parents; they are not in my life. And I’m just so sad because I want to leave him so bad. But I won’t have anywhere to go with my daughter, and I NEVER want to give up my rights for him over my daughter because my daughter is my world. I know I can get a job a full-time job, but it’s going to take a while. I just need help at this point in knowing what to do. I just want to be happy with myself and my daughter. How do you single mothers do it? With or without support from your family.
It’s always going to be hard. It’s never going to be easy. But I can guarantee it will be worth it. Look into single mother options. Go look up subsidized housing. Consider using your tax return money to get your own place. Figure out what you need to do to get where you want to go. Use this time and plan thoroughly. If I did it, then I know you can.
Stop counting him in for money…first get a support job.
you take it one day at a time!! start putting up money… get your own checking account or savings account… i recommend you reconciling with your parents. but honestly you are going to need help with baby. Me and my husband moved away from everyone we know it was just us and let me say this its hard… your going to need help.
I apologize about the length of this comment: I’ve been a single mom for 10 years and I will be honest, it has not always been easy. When I left my ex husband and father of my children, I also was not working. I was in school so I used left over loan money to get by for a month until I found a job. As a single parent, there are resources available like food stamps and daycare assistance etc. Check with your local family support division. It was never easy for me to ask for help especially as a single mother. I never let my kids know the struggle though. Be willing to sacrifice your wants for your childs needs as a single parent. I remember a time where I had literally no furniture and could barely put food on the table but I always managed to feed my kids. My advice would be to start the “single mother” process before you leave your husband if that is the way you plan to go. Do your research on resources that are available for single mothers. Begin applying for jobs or looking at jobs you’d be able to do. Decide if you will want home daycare or a daycare center for your child and research how much it will cost. Daycare is expensive either way. The road was and is hard for a single mother so be prepared for that. If you can, put money aside to save for your own place. Leaving a spouse requires planning…i wish I had planned it better. But, on the other side of it: As a single mother, I put myself through college and earned my degree, I have a fantastic job that I worked hard for by working my way through the career field, and I found love again after I fixed myself. So…while the road of a single parent is HARD…it is not impossible to survive and thrive. Good luck to you!
I left my daughters father after 3 years i started applying for income based apartments so i had somewhere else to go. It is so hard to get ur self to leave but it is a huge relief once you finally do.
Get your full time job before you leave and then go from there
I am a single mom to 3 year old twins. Their father has not been involved since they were 6 weeks old. It gets easier once the dead weight is gone and you can flourish and heal as an individual.
There are many programs out there that help single mothers. Contact your local county office and see how you can get help, most of those programs also help with therapy.
It’s hard but it can be accomplished. You have to have a plan. Write some stuff down and go from there. Also, give yourself a realistic timeframe for each individual step. Just know that you may have to go back periodically and rewrite some things. Think about the outcome you want not the obstacles.
Ok well unless he’s actually abusive to you and to her you shouldn’t be thinking about just leaving him in the dust. She is still his child too. So I suggest talking to a therapist and also talking to your partner about how you feel! We’re only getting one side of the story here.
Definitely think you should write down all of your goal’s. Prioritize them based on what is the easiest to accomplish and what will take the longest to accomplish. Start working on the ones that take a long time while accomplishing the smaller and easier goals. There are many programs all over to help single mom’s. KEEP YOUR FAITH you’ll have to swallow your pride a lot during the process. MOST IMPORTANTLY DO NOT GIVE UP ON YOURSELF!!
I am a single mom of 8 year old twin girls. My ex was a sociopath and cheated on me when I was pregnant. I took was miserable with him and had to leave. Its the best thing I ever did. I have never been happier and finally have peace in my life.
Its hard but you can do it, if I did it with my twins. I had my parents support luckily but woukd still leave if I didn’t have them. U can do it
First and foremost , you will need some kind of support because no one can do it on their own. Right now just find a job and work it. Save money any way you can. Will you be informing him that you want to leave or in the future will be leaving? If not stash your money. Your daughter will need to be put in daycare do that she can adjust. Maybe the both of you can Co- parent. Both of you can sit and plan pick ups, drop offs, weekends and most of all financial. I raised four on my own. He did not support them in any way so I heavily relied on daycare, friends and family. They saw that I was serious and on top of my game. Once you get situated it will hopefully get better. God is good. Not easy but can be done. Speak to the dad and try to compromise. Wishing you lick on this journey
Don’t work it out with him
Sign up to go back to school online and take out the maximum amount of student loans. Every semester you’ll get back around four grand. You can choose to work full-time or you can stay home with your child. You can save money for a comfortable life or even apply for a first-time home buyers loan but you can usually put about two grand down on. The possibilities are endless and it would give you Financial stability without having any support system. Do it online so you can be at home.
Is there a shelter you could stay at? Sometimes they help you get a job, a place to live and furniture. Good luck💜
Get a job and leave if you aren’t happy. Why stay with someone you don’t want to be with? They support you isn’t a good enough reason. Everything else will fall into place.
Save up for your own place first, then leave… every day is a struggle but it will get better with time.
Start working out a secret plan. Start out with part time job or do some side job to make money to put away. When you ready to go , you will have money. Make sure you have a car under your own name . You can not go anywhere without transportation. Have to get use to being independent . Do not rely on a man , even if you are marry to them . They can turn and dump you in a sec. get your own money own bank account . If you can’t take care of your kids on your own , please do not drag them out there with you, until you are ready . Kid need a safe home that they are use too.
Never depend on anyone but urself. Hardest and best lesson to learn. Don’t depend on ur parents, family, friends, husbands, wives, bf/gf, nor the government. No one. Making sure u can support urself and child is THE key to getting out. Make plans, long and short-term and work on them as fast as u can. Can u go back to school? Learn a trade? If not, although it may not be ur dream job, I know alot of women (even many single) who work doing house cleaning. And of course, the richer the town, the more likely u will be able to make more money. Bust butt whenever possible and don’t stop. Sock away every cent u can in ur own savings account. I’d suggest saving enough to afford 1st, last, and security deposit somewhere. File taxes for the work u do. U may need to prove to a future landlors that u are working. And the way to do that is by filing taxes. Make cards for ur business (vista print is cheap). Hand them out everywhere. Make a social media business site if u can. If not, it’s not a huge deal. I live in a rich town and most people would rather hire a cleaning person than get their hair done, etc. There is good/decent money to be made. Easily. I’m talking $300+/day. It doesnt mean u have to do this job for forever. But it is an excellent way to get out of a hard living situation. Oh, and also word of mouth for housecleaners is priceless. If u don’t think that the town u live in would be a good place to offer ur cleaning services be willing to travel a few towns over. It will pay off in the long run. Good luck with everything. I wish u well.
I would apply for section 8 housing (low income housing) if you have that where you are. That will at least help you with finding an affordable place on your own until you can get on your feet. The waiting list can be long though but it’s worth a shot.
Im a single mom with no child support or help from the state. I have my son full time with the donor not in the picture. I work 2 jobs to provide for us but one job is a great job. My advice is find a good job and get your name on a waiting list for housing.
Take it one step at a time. Do everything as peacefully as possible. Record and keep anything you can use against him for possible custody battle. Start looking for a job immediately to start. Do you have any places you can go? Will be fight you for the baby?
You are not saying what’s the main reason you want to leave your husband. If is something that you and your spouse can fix. Try to find the solution. Be a single mom is hard. Believe me I was a single mom when I was more younger . Your daughter needs you and your husband in her life. Praying for you🙏
Look into public housing in your area. It may not be ideal but it is something that is yours that you can work to get out of at your own time and pace.
Figure out what you would like his involvement with your child to be. Custody, visitation. And figure out child support. All through the courts.
Figure out where you want to be in a year. In three and in five. What steps do you need to take to get there?
U deside u are ready to leave. Nothing will stop u. U will figure things out as u go i did it with 3 kids with him his family my family and all the so called friends teamed against me. Be ready. That us what will happen he will play everyone against u. How ever when u really want to leave. U will go when u are truely done u will figure it out. 1 kid isnt shit try it with 3
It’s not easy and I know how your feeling, please don’t stay because it will only get worse for your self worth, your child is still young, if you can leave on good terms and set up a schedule with him for your child before hand it might go better, I thought staying for the sake of my kids was best, it’s not believe me and it had a negative impact on them because of their ages, prioritize what you want and need, look for subsidized housing and child care, you can do anything. If you don’t think it will go well then get to your court house for custody arrangements, good luck.
If you want to leave your husband because he is abusive in many ways, then leave his ass. But if it is something you can both work out, then try to attend some counseling with your husband.
It’s not easy being a single mom you will really start from scratch until you can get on your feet.
But then again, if he is abusive, try to seek help from friends that may know where you can find a suitable job for you or any resources you can start a job hunt, then save money for you to start on and the list goes on. You need to be brave and prepared in the results that will turn out. I hope you get better in time. Prayers for you and your baby.
Contact the parents, I’m guessing the falling out was over him. See if they would be willing to help you get on your feet, collect support through the courts and get a job. Stay with parents till you have saved a year’s worth of salary. That does not mean spend and party till you leave. It means get some financial security under your belt before you go on your own.
i am a single person with a husband and four girls already grown ups and an adopted son and one granddaughter.And i just want to leave my husband when i was pregnant with our first child.Now we are still together for 21 years yet i remain single in everything no one even my husband seems to care about.for years my husband never thought that i took things single mindedly until it is success that no one had ever noticed how i managed things all by myself…i play it right and am so happy with the outcome.come to think of it,go on single with your child is going to be a battle.Why not go into a battle with your child and your partner.unless he is not a responsible partner then leave…
That’s not a reason to stay. Get out. If you don’t get the help while your child is young. Your child will grow up seeing the situation and you don’t want that. If you know you can work start now. You will struggle but that’s life. No one wants to truly support their child alone. It happens. But you give birth alone. Baby comes out and your life changes. Do your child a favor and be that strong mom. Find a sitter you can trust. Go start your life. Don’t wait because you still will struggle. It might take years before you don’t go without but that’s the thing Everyone gives something up with or without a partner. Child support helps but don’t rely on it. Get counseling and get out now while your child is small and doesn’t understand your situation because you don’t need that child to grow up watching you hurt. I still remember being in a two parent household as a child and in the end we all suffered the mental abuse. She didn’t leave and had she left early just maybe she still be here because the stress made her sick and she died. The abuse rather it be mental or physical or both does affect the children. In your case you should left before you began life with this man. If a relationship is bad to begin with Don’t stay to believe they will change. Good luck
Look for a Christian outreach program. You will be cared for and loved.