Absent father advice please…. We have a 4 year old son and I’m pregnant with another boy. We’ve been broken up about six months… and he doesn’t call text or see his son. If I call or text he doesn’t reply. My son is constantly asking for daddy and idk what to say or how to explain it to him?? Did it ever get easier for you or your kids for their dad not to be around? How did you explain it to them and comfort them?? Thanks!
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I promote the understanding of choice … I am an advocate for not making excuses for behaviour. My kids when I was asked why doesn’t dad call why does dad not visit were told he is making choices and not all of then are great. As they grew older they see him for what choices he made and who he is and act accordingly. Don’t raise disappointment in hope . Be fair and prepare them for making their own educated decisions when they age and mature
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If he wants to be an absent parent let him be one. Quit letting him control your life. Move on, file for custody of your children, get child support, and kick him to the curb! He can take his son and dissappear and there ain’t nothing you can do about it,. GROW UP!
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Just be honest to them in a way they can understand as they grow. One day they will be old enough to see for them self. Who is there and who is not. Just tell the truth.
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I’d be honest but age appropriate if that makes sense. Don’t lie because in the end that will hurt him more. Tell him “I’m sorry, I know you want to talk to your Dad. He’s not making good choices right now. I know this hurts your feelings, but mommy is right here. Let’s go read a book/play/ (or anything to get his mind some where else)”. It will hurt him regardless how you go about it but this is a way for your son to learn good and bad choices, and what happens to others when you make a bad one. Also don’t let the Dad be a pop in when convienet type. Meaning he will talk one day/see him then go a long time not being there. That will really hurt him and cause emotional issues. Instead tell his father either be consistent or don’t at all.
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I would not go all out trying to get him to be a parent. Just let your child know that his Dad is making his own choices and he will let you know when he can visit and that you understand when he doesn’t come how rhat makes your child feel. Kids have a way of figuring it all out when they get older.
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My son is ten and has stopped asking in the last 2 year’s or so. It was hard for a long time to listen to the cries,but it does get easier as they get older and start to understand a little bit. 
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I’m so sorry that your son is having to deal with a situation like this.
I had the same experience with my daughter, her dad was absent for most of her life, I always felt sorry for choosing him to be her dad , my experience was hard becasue my daughter was / is disabled, and never wanted her to feel that her disability was the reason for the absence of her dad ( it was definitely NOT ) I never talked bad about him to her , I always talked about how great he was with her when she was a baby and she has pictures of him in her room , I always told her that her dad loved her but that he was trying to be a better man in order to be a better dad , that he was out of the country ( sometimes he was ) or that he lived far .
I always send her Christmas, Valentines , birthdays presents from him ( he died years ago ) and she thinks that he sent her presents for heaven .
(She is very innocent)
He bought her a dress one Christmas when she was like 5 and that dress is a treasure for her ( doesn’t even fit , she is 23 now ) and she has a video of one of her birthdays that he attended that we watch all the time .
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Take them to court for full custody
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I used to babysit a little girl since she was 2 years , her dad wanted nothing to do with her no matter how much she tried to make him understand that even a call would have been nice , but he never did ) when she was 5 she started asking questions about him not been in her life .
She was with me most of the time and one night after I bathed her I was cleaning her ears and she started crying uncontrollably and asked me what was wrong with her, she asked me why her dad didn’t loved her or wanted her , my heart broke in pieces and cried with her and just told her that I was pretty sure that he loved her but that he didn’t know how to be a dad , that sometimes people have kids when they are not ready and they chose to be a part from their kids life, she asked me if he will learn , and I just told her that for some people it takes longer than others , but that hopefully he will figure out one day and he will come around and then she will have the opportunity to ask him all the questions she has and then she and only she will take the decision to have him in her life or not
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You don’t need him, you can handle it ok
Honestly it was hard and I made it my goal not to be that bitter person, but at the end of the day I had to do what was best for my children’s peace. I took him to court got soul custody and agreed on every other weekend visits. My kids are now in their 20’s and it didn’t take me to tell them nothing.
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So my daughter is 12 and her dad has only seen her 3 times her whole life. First time she asked I said some parents aren’t ready. Never been asked again. My son is 9 and his dad hasn’t seen him or talked to him in 3 1/2 yrs and he’s never questioned me about it. Doesn’t even bring it up nothing. My bf has taken on that role for them and that’s what they know now. They don’t call him dad. They know who their “dad” is.
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No it did not and they are adults