Is it to much to ask of my husband to put his laundry in the laundry bin and pick his shoes up ? It makes me so upset. I am a stay at home mom of two toddlers I do everything else on top of six college classes this semester and taking the babies to their appointments. My schedule is so full all I ask are these two things of him and when I mention it all he says is “ well I have to clean up after you to and I don’t make a big deal about it”. I am not his mother I should not have to clean up behind a grown man. I understand cleaning the house but picking up after him is not my job.
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Put it all in a basket and don’t wash what isn’t in the laundry…. One day without clean socks he will remember.
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Immediately no. I didn’t even read the whole thing. Just the tag line. 
It’s called “life skills” not wife skills for a reason. Everyone should know how to do basic life skills. If he doesn’t help around the house then I’d personally just start kicking them to the side and leave them but if he does help around the house and with kids then remember it’s a give and take in a relationship. As much as it bothers you you have 2 choices keep picking them up or leave them.
Get a bin and put everything he doesn’t pick up in the bin and when he asks where his stuff is give him the bin.
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leave his clothes right where he tosses them. I don’t care if the pile is 6 feet high… don’t touch it. Maybe scoot it with your foot into a corner or against a wall. when friends and family come over explain that your husband is a pig and you keep YOUR area clean, and you’ve declined responsibility for his area.
Leave them where they are and quit picking them up
Toss his clothes in the trash . I did it to my kids with there toys . Naturally I didn’t leave them in the trash . But they never left them on the floor again for me to pick up . Treat him like a child
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I feel like you’re mad about more than the mess. Sit down and talk to him really talk 
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As long as you keep picking it up he will keep throwing it there. Leave it no matter how bad it kills you.
Stop doing his laundry unless it’s in the hamper. When he throws a fit tell him you thought he didn’t want it done since he didn’t bother putting it where it goes.
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Your husband should pick up after himself and, if I may say, 6 college level classes is 4-5 too many😊
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I think you should specifically tell him you will no longer be doing these things anymore, then stop. That way he can’t say you didn’t tell him or he didn’t know.
Stop picking up after him.
Stop doing it & when he wonders where all his clothes are point to where they’re sitting on the floor
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He’s being lazy. It’s that simple. It is not your job to pick up after him like he is your toddler. He is grown and you shouldn’t have to say anything to him cause he should already know.
Your his partner, not his mom, not his maid. He’s an adult. There is no reason that he cannot pick up after himself
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when he doesn’t have any clean clothes just point to all his clothes on the floor and let him know you only wash clothes that are in the bins where dirty clothes belong
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I THANK THE LORD EVERY WEEK, I am divorced, but not because of him being like those mentioned. Our son isn’t like that either!
I worked , didn’t have extra time to be playing maid too! When our son was just little, like 2 maybe 3, he was taught to pick his things( mostly toys) up and put them where they belong As he got older he was shown how to put dirty clothes in his hamper.and put this towel on the hook in the bathroom, put his bath toys in the tub tray, & his coats and hats hung up we all did this. Its how my Mom and Dad raised us as they did it too. After my divorce, my sister welcomed me and my son in their home and her kids did the same. My grandsons are the same way as are my nieces and nephews children It takes a week for a something to become a habit, make it a home rule, list the consequences known and do it. Don’t give in no matter how annoying or difficult it gets…if after a week start putting the others stuff out of site, and make them earn it back… called TOUGH LOVE
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Leave it where he lays it and when he has no clean clothes he will have to do his laundry
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definitley a reasonable request!
I would just leave it not do his laundry unless it was picked up . I did that to my e. , then all he did was pick the shirts and pants and took it to the dry cleaners . Costly but I wasn’t doing it .
A man will only do what you allow:rofl:
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Just kicked my bd out for this exact reason. No reason i should be constantly throwing away beer bottles when i don’t drink. Then i also have inspections this week so there’s a deadline for the house to be completely spotless. Ive been caring for my sick child the past 2 weeks and the house got a little bad. I asked for help and got called annoying. And that he has more important issues and that i don’t do anything anyways.
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My ex husband would put the clothes on the floor by the hamper 
lol
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You need to go away for a whole weekend and leave him with the kids and a list of chores and daily housework. See what he thinks then
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Stop washing the clothes that are not in the bin.
Why are you picking up his shoes? Leave them alone. Maybe kick one under the bench or whatever you’ve got near the door so he gets a nice bit of panic looking for it.
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Simple things like that he needs to be doing. You are a sahm not a maid
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Stop cleaning up after him
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I’d si ply stop picking up after him. Then he will see what a mess he makes. And as an adult he should realise its not anyone else’s job to pick up after him
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Would step right over it 
If he actually clean after you I do not see the big deal , if he doesn’t then all you have to do is
- Do only the laundry that is in the laundry basket .
I had the shoes issue with my daughters dad years ago , one day I pick them up and throw them into the trash , he was mad when he found out… never left his shoe out again ….never
Don’t do it. Don’t do anything for him. He’s not a child. If he wants a mom, he can move back with his mommy.
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You can ask and nag all ya want… there will always be a trail of clothes…
I know what is it with men. They think we are at home so we can clean up and do everything for them. My partner said to my daughter that she needs to make her own lunch bit when I said why He said she needs to learn. Well I said I make your lunch so why is it OK for him and not her. Just like when the shopping is delivered he tells the kids to help me bring it in while he sits on the lounge and watches. It’s like men work 8 hours a day so he has to do nothing else. Sorry but get uo off your ar*e and help cos I work 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Even when I am asleep am on call for the kids. Men need to step up and do their bit around the house plus looking after the kids.
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I didn’t even read that post. No.
Wait….he said he cleans up after you? Is that a fact? I think at this point he is doing it intentionally. I wouldn’t put his clothes in the hamper then do laundry and say “I didn’t think you’d want yours done since you didn’t put them in the hamper”
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Stop picking up after him. I understand you have kids and want a tidy home…just kick all his shit into a corner. I told my man if you leave your stuff on the floor I’ma assume you don’t care about it so I’m not going to care about it 
. And I mean he still does sometimes leave a thing around but I just announce I’m doing laundry that day and anything he wants clean needs to be in his hamper before he goes to work.
Stop doing it. My husband did that all the time before and I stopped doing his laundry and when he had no clothes to wear he did his own wash. He had a hard time figuring out the machine and had to ask for help I explained it and he got pink socks so now he puts his clothes in the hamper. Now I have to correct him when he uses the wrong hamper bc sometimes there’s one that has clean clothes in it or clothes that are clean but part of a cleaning out of kid’s closets for donations. He says you yell if I don’t do it an then you yell at me for doing it bc it’s not the basket I said dirty is always in the bathroom and never anywhere else.
Honestly anything he leaves on ground, just pick up them and throw in the trash. Maybe next time he will put away instead of leaving them on floor.
Maybe bring up having his mother moving in so she can clean/pick up after him. 
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My husband tried that. When we were first married he wouldn’t clean up after himself. I went as far as putting the laundry bin right where he dropped his clothing. Our apartment building had no laundry facilities nor did the units. So we took our laundry to my grandparents once a week. Monday morning he woke me up at 4am because he couldn’t find clean undies…I told him they were right were he left them. Jeans and commando in his particular job left him with a nasty heat and rubbing rash in that special place. Never again did he miss the bin, nor leave his stuff laying around.
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Not too much to ask, you have a lot to do.
Tell him you want to see him as a capable man not a toddler it can really hurt the sex life .
Keep you’re drama at home 
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Stop doing his laundry. Stop cleaning up after him. Stop picking stuff of his for him.
Only take care of yourself and your babies.
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Oh my god my husband does this to. So irritating. 
I literally hate marriages like this where everything is a gd contest and has to be fair and even and the “not my job” bullshit. How some of you ever found husbands is puzzling.
That response is called gaslighting. Cant even pick up his filthy clothes, how does he possibly take care of you? Get your degree because you are a tough mama and kick his lazy ass where it belongs. Back home to mommy.
Also this is a control issue. It’s the ONLY two things that bother you…how much laundry is this man possibly leaving everywhere that picking it up when you’re picking up other stuff is just SOOOO exhausting for you? Come on…
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He’s a grown man he should be picking up his own clothes. Even with my kids if clothes aren’t put in the basket right (not tangled up like kids do, pockets emptied etc) they don’t get washed. I have 1 who will get in trouble this year for dress code because he doesn’t put his dirty clothes in the basket & clean clothes away. It’s on him. Do the same for husband.
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Jetes lui ça sur le balcon une couple de fois peut-être qu’il va comprendre sinon direct dans la vrai poubelle.
Sounds like you’re a mom of three. Stop picking his stuff up, stop doing his laundry, stop feeding him.
Don’t just leave his shit everywhere. Then invite his boss or someone you think he would want to impress over and let them see his shit everywhere. He’ll get the message! And for anyone who says it’s a reflection on you BS. He’s a grown ass man and you are not his keeper
Stop. Breathe.
Now close your eyes. Imagine for a second.
There was an accident & your husband is never coming home…
Now open your eyes, thank God for your husband, children, home & life & go pick up the darn shoes with a grateful attitude.
No you aren’t his mother, you are his equal, his partner, the person who picks up where he leaves off & vice versa. Show THAT to your children.
Some women would do anything to have smelly shoes & dirty laundry to pick up again… keep your perspective positive.
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This used to bother me more than I care to admit. Then one day I realized he doesn’t put his clothes in the floor or leave his shoes out to irritate me, he simply doesn’t think about it. Much like I don’t think about how he constantly has to turn my hot hair tools off, or blow candles out at night, or turn every light off behind me, or clean the 900 iced coffee cups out of every vehicle after I’ve driven it. I don’t leave these things for him to be a nuisance, I just forget about it and then he does it. Soooo, I think I can pick up his clothes and shoes. 
Does your SO pick up after you or do things he would prefer not to?
Read the first question…no, NTA. Anyone who can’t be decent or respectful and won’t pick up after themselves or expects their partner to be a full time maid is an assh*le. STOP cleaning up after him. If it continues, liberate yourself and kick him to the curb. I have no tolerance for laziness like this. This is a form of abuse.
I have yet to find a guy that understands this. Be petty. Don’t wash his clothes that aren’t in the bin. When he asks just nicely say that you will wash what’s in the bin. Put his shoes in the closet and when he goes looking for them just say that if he wants them in a different spot he should put them there. You’d hate to trip on them and hurt yourself. It’s for your safety
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Well if he’s cleaning up after you (what exactly) then it goes both ways, helping each other out
Stop doing it. If the clothes aren’t in the hamper don’t wash them. Inform him of the new rule and then stick to it.
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Is it really that big a deal? Shoes and laundry…
Everyone is different but I wouldn’t complain about that. We leave our shoes in the mud room so there aren’t shoes usually in the house. As for laundry, he occasionally leaves his dirty clothes on the floor, or leaves his stuff around. Is it maybe more like, your not that into him anymore bc then everything, little things will really get to you.
It’s not like beer cans are all over n he is passed out. That would be a different story. And 6 classes?! Wow. That’s alot! Kudos!
You certainly are juggling alot. Try not to be upset about the little things though. ((Hugs))
My husband did that I’m like nope dude I already wash the clothes do dishes cook take care of 3 kids 7 year old with autism that I’m homeschooling a 4 year old and a 8 month old breastfed baby it means my job easier if you throw away your trash out clothes were they need to be put dishes in the sink better yet stack the dishes all I ask my husband to do is put his stuff back wipe his own messes and trash I still do most of it but team work makes the dream work