Lately, I’ve been feeling quite frustrated with my mother-in-law. She often tells my husband and I how much she misses her grandchildren and expresses a desire to see them. However, her busy schedule—filled with work, weekend trips out of state, vacations, and football games—seems to prevent her from making any concrete plans to visit. It’s been months since our children were invited to spend the night at her house, whereas just a few months ago, they were staying over every other weekend. While I understand she has her own life to manage, it’s disheartening when she reaches out to say she misses them but then claims to be too busy to arrange a visit , just for her to tell us about all these plans she has the next following week. Is anyone else experiencing a similar situation with their mother-in-law? Am I wrong to feel this way? My husband seems indifferent, saying it’s not a big deal.
Don’t dwell on it. I can count on one hand the number of times my parents kept my kids. I learned to expect nothing and anything they got was a bonus. As a result my kids were much closer to their paternal grandparents who were hands on.
This is my mother-in-law. We lived 20 minutes away. She maybe visited 5 times and stretching it. We lived there 13 yrs after my fil passed away 5 yrs ago we saw her once. Pay back is hell though we moved in with her 7 months ago so my 2 yr old is always up her ssa when she is home 
Please be grateful for when she keeps your child . We mother in laws
Are older and tired - it’s much harder doing it at almost 60
Than when I was 22 . I have kept my grandchild since birth 3 full
Days a week . Then we went to two full
Days until just recently. She is almost 3 and is going to moms
Day out so I am now down to once a week . While I
Love every minute of having her , I am really tired when she leaves. Maybe your MIL
Needs a break ? I can assure you I will keep mine as much as I csn - but sometimes
I
Am
Really worn out when she leaves .
Maybe when she says that. Tell her… come get them they’ve been missing and waiting for you to spend some time with them.
I don’t think it’s really a big deal either. Dwelling on it seems weird.
Honestly, it sounds to me that you are more butthurt about losing your weekend babysitter than you are concerned about the time she spends with them. You really just sound jealous to me 
Why are you getting emotional about someone else’s statements or lifestyle
She can say whatever she wants. It doesn’t mean anything. It definitely doesn’t mean you owe her energy. Stop getting weird when she speaks. Let her speak and leave her words with her.
It doesn’t matter what she says. Live your life and stop creating drama. If she actually cared she would make adjustments to demonstrate she wanted a change
She can miss the kids and also have a busy/active life. Be happy she is healthy and active.
If she complains and you offer a visit and she declines then I’d say you’ve done your part. She’s showing you exactly what she wants from the relationship believe her! Move on and enjoy your life.
It’s appreciated when my mom or their other grandma take them but it’s not expected. You had the kids she didn’t, maybe things will calm down in her life and she can eventually start taking them again but it’s not obligated of her
I had very involved grandparents, on both sides. My nieces and nephew don’t get that. From either set of grandparents and it hurts my heart. Grandparents are such a wealth of knowledge and I feel like they’re missing out. With that being said, if she keeps talking about it but has no action, I think you know where you stand.
I am so glad my daughter had my grandson Lucas. I try to spend as much time with him as I can. And I babysit often for her. It was a gift given to me and I love it
Perhaps you are framing this the wrong way. You state she reaches out by telephone. If she were able to speak to the kids on a regular basis that would go a long way in building and continuing her connection with the kids. Using these phone calls might be the way to go. Of course, trying to make time for the kids to see her face to face is always a great idea, but if you were to focus on making these phone calls fun for the kids that might help you to feel better.
I’d straight up tell her if you miss them why don’t you make time for them
The feeling of missing someone and being to busy to see them are two diffrent things. I believe she misses them.
She doesn’t miss them. She’s just saying it to look relevant. She can certainly make time for them but chooses not too. Move on and enjoy watching your kids grow . She’s missing out.
Yeah, you are making it a bigger deal than necessary. You say in one breath that you understand that she has her own life, etc but in the next you are upset with her for enjoying her life. She has raised her kids. Kids are a lot of work for older people. She’s earned this her time. Think of all the times you’ve wanted just “you” time but you have kids and so getting that “you” time is difficult; she’s now in a place where she can have that “her” time. Just because she’s having her time doesn’t mean that she can’t miss your kids. I miss people all the time, but if I have to pick in seeing those people or taking a vacation, I’d be taking the vacation. Sorry not sorry.
So she os communicating she misses your grand children because she can’t see them that week.
And
Your
Mad? 