AITA for being mad at my father in law?

AITA for being mad at my father in law? He doesn’t get to see my daughter very often because he is at work out of town. Even then he doesn’t call or FaceTime her. Well when he does come to see her he is super late, doesn’t communicate if he is going to be late, and when he has her he won’t communicate. The last time he had her, he told me he would be back at 5pm. And that they were going to eat at a restaurant. 6:30 rolls around. Not a word. So I try to call him. Nothing. I call my younger (17) sister in law, nothing. Even text her! My sister in law FINALLY texted me at 7:17. Telling me they were at my other sister in laws house down the block! For almost an hour and a half I had no idea where my child was!! I was pissed! Well today he calls and says he is going to pick her up at around 3. It’s been about 3 months since he’s seen her so I was going to give him the benefit of the doubt. Try again…well here it is 6:03 and nothing! I even call him an hour ago and he said he was coming to get her…and my husband wonders WHY I DONT LIKE MY 4 YEAR OLD GOING WITH HIM! My husband literally gets mad at me because I’m about about this…he says “if this was your dad you wouldn’t be mad”. First off my dad is older than his dad. And my dad would NEVER act like this! I try to give him a chance to redeem himself but im over it!


If he wants to see the child have him come to your house if he’s an hour late cancel. To he’ll with what your husband thinks. I had to put my inlaws in place , once I did things went smoothly…


I wouldn’t let my own dad do this.


It’s her grandpa, unless he is returning after bedtime she is fine. He seemed to do a good job with your husband or you wouldn’t have picked him.

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Nah if he cant follow simple rules tell him to visit at your house thats it


Have you tried discussing this with him at all? Explaining what you’re hoping for, boundaries, and why this is unacceptable to you? That may be the place to start.
Also, explain to your husband about all the dangers and ask him why he isn’t concerned at all about lack of communication when they were supposed to be home at a set time and hours later you hear nothing from them. Perhaps if that little seed gets planted in his mind he’ll finally understand.

yeah. no. nope. zip. zero. nada. they clearly do not care about how you feel and that is YOUR CHILD.

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No more visits
It would be my rules that’s it


No more visits . he can see her supervised at your house.


I wouldn’t let anyone do this, so many red flags.

NTA if he wants the privilege of seeing his grandchild he’ll follow rules. I don’t want to sit around waiting for you to show up. If he tells me he’s coming at 6, doesn’t come or call, I’m walking out the door with my child at 6:15. If he’s supposed to bring her back at 8, no call, he’ll never take my child again.

Why is grandpa picking her up and taking her somewhere? Why don’t you just have dinner as a family at your place? He can play and hang out with her there.