I would see if it’s possible to hang onto my granddaughter till my daughter got her feet under her. I love my daughter but I wouldn’t let her disrespect me
Don’t disrespect me in my house. End of story. When you pay all the bills then you have a right to say something but not until then
NO…!!! You are absolutely correct!!!
Your daughter shouldn’t have put you in this position! I’d maybe tell her the bf has to go but her and daughter can stay…the choice is up to her!
That way it’s never twisted and said you put your own daughter and grandbaby out in the streets. If she chooses to go with bf then that’s on her. She’ll be back once he can’t freeload off her parents anymore.
No ma’am you arent…who the hell just moves a random man into a place thats not even theirs? Yeah that would not fly at all in my house he would have been gone on the first night!!
no one understands till they live this look after you
I would just remove him, now if she wants to go then she can go, I would tell her to leave the kid tho
Offer to take the baby several times a week if it is possible or baby sit a fee times a week so u know baby is okay plus you get nanny time
Nope. You are in the right. She’s a whole ass adult
NTA your house your rules, and she brought a random man and let him move in and treat you and your husband disrespectfully. If I was in your shoes I would do the same thing, and I would tell the daughter that she can only move back in under the condition that no random man that no body knows moves in unless you know them fully
NTA you need to have police remove the bf ASAP. You never authorized him to live in your house. He’s trespassing. If it were me I’d offer to keep baby until she finds a place. She probably won’t accept but at least you would have tried to keep her safe.
No. I would’ve never let the dude move into my house in the first place. If you live in my house you need my permission
I don’t think your in the wrong per-say but I think you should offer for the baby to stay if possible until they have a safe place to take the baby if they will just be out on the street with the baby then it could become dangerous fast …personally I would of just evicted the unwanted person I wouldn’t have the heart to evict my child no matter the age or grand-baby out on the streets because realistically with living prices a week is in no way enough time to find accommodations especially with a baby involved.
No she shouldn’t be bringing a Guy around her child she doesn’t even know. Can ur grandbaby stay with u until she finds a preminate place? Or tell her he isn’t allowed at ur place
I mean if they offer to leave the baby please don’t the child out on the street but they’re adults
No your not wrong for your choice. She hasn’t respected you and your house so she needs to figure her own shit out!
Nope. You’re right! I would give her a warning though and say either he leaves or you both leave. If she’s 20 with a baby (I had a baby at 20 as well) then she needs to focus on her child and not some dude, unless it’s the child’s father. And regardless, he’s probably a loser if he has to move in to your house and isn’t offering to pay anything so not the best choice for her or her child.
No offense but your daughter’s TA if she’s letting some dude she barely knows around her daughter.
Definitely not. I would tell her he has to go if she chooses to go with him I would contact family services
Put the man out let your daughter and baby stay because she obviously doesn’t have common sense. It terrifies me that some women just move whoever in with their children.
Yes your doing rite this you don’t need teash on your home. It your choice who lives with you not hers. Boyfriend got go. Or make pay 300 week. Move stranger wrong…
NTA. Even if she was paying… she should have NEVER moved a virtual stranger into the house. Even more important, she has a daughter! She is putting her daughter at risk by moving a guy she barely knows in with her baby.
The statistics for abuse particularly with daughters of single moms by boyfriends are scary. I don’t want to be a hypocrite because I was a single mom with daughters when I met my (now) husband 26 years ago but moms HAVE TO BE CAREFUL about who they are bringing around their kids.
If you can (and maybe it’s not possible now) try to talk to your daughter. I mean TALK- without judgement/anger/animosity about how you are concerned for her and your granddaughter’s safety. Even if she says this guy is fine or whatever, point out all the stories we hear about women who believed the same thing. See if you can convince her to maybe slow things down with this guy and have HIM leave. I wouldn’t “ban” him from your home but no sleep overs. Make her see you are willing to “get to know him” differently (even though your instincts are probably right) if there’s a chance that you could keep her and your granddaughter safe.
I am so sorry you’re going through this
If I was in this situation my daughter and granddaughter would be welcome to stay. However, the man would never have been allowed to move in in the first place. But now that he’s there he’d be out within the day, and I’d hope my daughter chose to stay while she got back on her feet.
No, you aren’t the a-hole. But why did you allow her to move a man in? You should’ve stopped him from crossing your doorstep. Forget about giving him a weeks notice, you need to put his a** out today. If your daughter wants to run out the door after him, so be it.
Um, no. You are not.
Your daughter is for using and abusing you. She’s a parent now. Time to step it up.
Why would you allow him to move in? You say she moved him in but it’s your home… You allowed it. It’s super weird to have a man not the babys father around her like that too. Huge red flag on your daughters part. You said she doesn’t even know him and he’s living in the home with your family plus her Daughter??? Yikes!
Also it’s important to not try and attach a stigma to the boyfriend just because he’s a man i.e. half of you saying he probably beats the girl like wait what??? Don’t you think mom would have posted that??? Lol do you really think her daughter gets beat in her own house without annnny knowledge? Notice how she never said what the boyfriend ACTUALLY did. So stop FUCKING assuming that just because he’s a GUY that he’s OBVIOUSLY abusing her that is NOT fair to the mom or the child or to him. Y’all talking about calling cps?? You guys are stupid sincerely stupid. It actually baffles me hoooow stupid most of you are. “Oh he doesn’t like the mom!!! Someone call CPS he must be abusing everyone because he’s a male!!!” Like bro wait what?
Absolutely not,she’s being the a**hole
Your daughter is a moron.
In California it’s illegal to kick ANYONE out if they have proof of residency.
I hope she gets legal counsel you are giving her a week ??? That’s illegal as shit if she gets mail there 100% certain she does and if there’s proof she has been living there she could lawyer up call E.Q.O. and get it to where she will get an additional month to two months
Yes you are a FUCKING asshole there is a baby involved I understand wanting to kick out the parents but REALLY? this is the hill you want to die on and risk never seeing your daughter or granddaughter again??? Maybe don’t be a mom, this is trash.
I have a daughter I could never do that to her baby ever , moma and poppa may have to go but child does not deserved to be punished for their bullshit.
I.e. giving them a WEEK to find a house? You are what we call here in CA , fucktarded.
No you are not the asshole
She woulda had to go as soon as she brought that man to my house
She is in the wrong for moving someone in without permission.
You was already more patient with that nonsense than I would have been. The boyfriend would have never spent one night at my house. No way would I make it easy for her to have a relationship with a bum. He would not have latched on to her if she didn’t come with free room and board. He was looking for a place to stay and someone to support him.
Tell her she can stay but he goes. Put his stuff out and lock the door. If he has a key change the locks and don’t give her a key because she’s obviously got no sense or respect if she is giving your house key to other people without your permission.
Trust me. If she has no place to go then she won’t leave. Put him out yesterday even if you have to involve the law.
Myself …I would tell boyfriend he had to go and daughter could go with him if that’s what she wanted…grand will always have a place as long as she needs it.
Tell em that he goes or they all go.
Tough love definitely necessary here. She moved a man into YOUR home that YOU don’t even know. Now she even has the audacity to have an attitude on top of it. She needs to go.
Don’t feel any guilt. You are in the right.
You are coming from the right place but I honestly feel like the approach could have been a little better. Especially… since there is a child involved. I was a teenage mom and due to this , I still lived with my parents. They loved me and supported me unconditionally but I was set with ground rules right from the beggining. They gave me lectures about being a single momma and explained how I shouldn’t be so trusting in relationships right away due to me having a child. My priority and safety of my child , was to be #1. Now, if I wanted to date, that was to be done on my own time … outside of the house . As long as it didn’t interfere with my motherly duties . Child care was done by my mother and it was only for work shifts or doctor appointments. Nothing else. I know you want the best for your daughter and sometimes tough love is the only way to go … but maybe… you could try the approach my parents gave to me ? I hope your daughter start appreciating you because the real world is tough. I wouldn’t be where I am today if it weren’t for my parents. I hope it all works out .
Why did you give the guy a week?
She can stay or go…her choice.
With or w/o the baby…
Actually. I applaud you. Not sure how that happened in the first place but set boundaries for your own life and property. Just cus their blood doesn’t give them a right to cause havoc and disrespect to your life. Hopefully she will learn a lesson.
Get them out asap and call child protection services
You had every right. Don’t put up with disrespectful a**holes. Even if it’s family.
Your daughter clearly has no respect for you or your home so yeah tell her either he goes or they both go it’s up to her. She should be focusing on her kid and trying to find her own feet before she opens her bedroom to another man (stranger) we are hearing far too many bad stories about mothers bringing strange men into their child’s life so not only has she disrespected you but also her kid. Sound like she has a lot of growing up to do!!
No you are not. UNLESS you let them stay - they should be in their own apartment now.
You have to give 90 days notice to vacate in Vic. So yes you are being harsh. Not to mention the rental crisis at the moment. Please have some compassion
No your not. Why who you have to put up with him in your house being disrespectful. I would kick them out as well
You have to do what you have to do. Don’t let the guilt of ur grandbaby keep you in a bad situation. Also if the baby is in danger call cps. Sending hugs.
I would offer to keep my grandchild but the other 2 can be homeless. Keep the daughter if he goes and she can act right. And where is the baby daddy?
I went through that’s not long ago there is a big problem if they legal problem you honestly have to legally serve them with an eviction notice they changed the laws and it sucks
Why would you let a strange man move in? Nope if she wants to stick by him let her go
Don’t let the dude stay that long. If he gets mail there he’s established residency and you’ll have to evict. Trespass him now before it’s too late.
Nope. Moving that guy in then being rude and mean are not okay.
No your not at all. Just take care of that baby
NTA. You don’t have to finance their life, tolerate their disrespect, or even let then live in your home just because she’s your daughter.
Id make the man leave. Id never put my child on the streets
You have to give 90 days notice to vacate in Vic. So yes you are being harsh. Not to mention the rental crisis at the moment. Please have some compassion
Not acceptable, sounds like they are walking all over you and you are treading on eggshells , in YOUR own home.