I just want opinions if I’m in the wrong. My 20 yr old daughter and her daughter lives with me and her stepfather. And she moved a guy in that no one knows not even her really. Now he’s mad disrespectful and she’s becoming the same and not that I wanted to because of the baby but I told them they had a week to get out. And before anyone asks no they don’t pay anything to live here so question is am I the a*hole?
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In the first place I wouldn’t have let that man move in end of conversation!!!
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I have a feeling even if you gave her the choice to kick him out and she could stay, she would still go with him. But that would be on her. Give her the choice of him leaving and she stays. But there has to be boundaries set and respect has to be given. Or she can have a deadline to move out too.
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A week is being generous!!
NTAH!!!
You have the right to feel comfortable in your own home. Your daughter crossed the line by bringing that man into your house. I know it’s a hard boundary to set but no I do not think you were wrong
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Definitely NTA. And be careful about letting him stay and local laws as he may have squatters rights. Get him out! If she chooses to go to, that’s on her back!
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I probably at least would Never have allowed the so called boyfriend to move in.
NTA. Adult choices, adult consequences.
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How did she move him in without your permission?
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No. Protect your peace and give her your support to go. Keep that support going when she moves. Stay strong Mom.
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First- it’s YOUR home-! Even if they pay rent, if they made a decision to bring someone in without approval, if they aren’t willing to follow the rules you have every right-!
Let me be clear, I love my kid and I would do anything for her. BUT-! If you are grown and if you want to live the life you want and not by my rules and expectations in MY home, please exit stage left
As long as you were clear about the rules and expectations.
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I would set boundaries and stipulations and have them sit and talk like adults. Give them ultimatum and not have gave them a week I would have gave them a month if they didn’t show progress they could go.
I would give her the option, provided these are suitable for you. He leaves and she and baby can stay. Her and man can leave and leave baby until they are stable. Or they all can go. But that’s just me.
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First, how can she move someone into YOUR house? Kick him out. I couldn’t kick my daughter and grandchild out. It’s definitely a lack of communication in you not setting boundaries and rules for her and your grand daughter to stay there. Have her get a job and start helping out around the house (if she isn’t). And she isnt paying rent (like you said) then that’s on you for not having her pay rent.
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My question is why did you allow that guy to move in to YOUR home? I’d say kick him out and set down strict rules for your daughter. If she can’t follow them, then kick her out.
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Nope. Disrespect should not be tolerated
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I’d let her stay but he’s gotta go. Get him out before you can’t get him out
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Absolutely not ! Your daughter had no right to move a man into your home. Sometimes we as parents need to put our foot down. If he does not leave then they all have to go. It’s called tough love. When your daughter matures she will realize she was wrong.
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I would tell your daughter he is not allowed to move in, but that she and the baby are welcome to stay with you.
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It is likely that they would use your concern for the child to hold you hostage to the current living situation, it is also highly likely that they wont modify their behavior without imminent removal as the deterent
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NO, you are NOT the bad guy. As I always told my kids, “my house, my rules.” My son moved out at 19 and made a career in the Navy. My daughter moved out on her own at 23 and has been self-sufficient ever since. Their friends were not allowed to just move in. People cannot take advantage of you if you won’t allow it.
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Well done mama. You did your best to help your daughter and she took advantage of you. She’s not entitled to make decisions on who she can move in to your house. Her child is also her responsibility. She made the adult decision to have kids so she has to be an adult and care for her child. Her poor decisions our her own at this point. None of this is your fault. You tried your best.
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It’s time she grew up!!!
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Make sure your grandbaby is good especially that your daughter like you said dint know this guy …your granddaughter safety is everything
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I would never let a boyfriend or girlfriend move in. If he wants them he should of moved them out.
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Do that baby a favour and KEEP HER . Bad things happen when a child is removed from a safe home with a person nobody knows what he’s capable of doing.
To many horror stories out there . Keep that grand baby safe
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No your setting boundaries and rules and if she’s not willing to follow them, it’s your house and you have every right to ask them to leave if they cannot follow your rules. She’s not paying anything to live there and help out so yeah I think your right in this situation. Also, your protecting yourself and your home, you don’t know who this man is and if your daughter barely knows him, I would be cautious too. 

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Keep the baby and kick them out. Obviously the baby wasn’t #1 priority to her in the first place.
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Believe me when i say this him moving in wouldn’t of happened in the 1st place
The child would be my only concern.
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Nope. Your home, your rules.
Nope get out and find out the hard way
No, you have to set boundaries and it will only get worse. Trust me I’ve been there, lived with me for free, paid no bills, bought no food , and never helped with the house work, laundry etc. It snowballs fast and can get hurtful. Explain what they are doing and why you had to make the decision. Praying for you momma
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If he don’t go, they all go.
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He goes they stay your daughter and grandchild I wouldn’t like to be sending them off with a disrespectful man if he’s like that under your roof imagine what he’s like when your not around
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The boyfriends gotta go, if she cannot deal with that then she needs to find her own place because she should not have moved the guy in without consulting with you first. She’s a mom now, she’s gotta act like one and get her own place.
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Nope. Get them out before he starts any trouble with you and your husband. I’ve been there. And let it go on for too long.
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I wouldn’t have let him move in to begin with. I’d prob give her the option to stay if she changed her behavior but he has to go immediately.
Did you try to kick just him out first? That is what I personally would have done, especially considering you said she barely knows him, so she is probably going to stick around with him obviously, and I would worry about the safety/well being of the baby
Ok so here’s the thing.
We know more today than when we did decades ago.
The prefrontal cortex of the brain does not fully develop until a person is about 25 years old. That’s the decision making/logic part of the brain. Given that your daughter has a child of her own, that only adds to the stress of her situation.
It may be that this man (as rude as he sounds) has manipulated her into believing that you’re somehow the bad guy or that she’s entitled to more than you’re giving her.
Whatever the reasons are, it sounds to me like you need to stand up for yourself and tell her (and him) that HE is not welcome in the home. Let your daughter know that you are willing to help her and your grandchild but you have no intention of having this man around your house. If she decides to leave, that’s her choice. Offer her some grace as she’s still maturing and growing.
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I would give them 2 hours. NTA
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A week isn’t very much time, (not sure it matters)
but heck no, you’re not the a**hole!
No you’re not your daughter should have never moved anyone into your house without your permission I would tell her that she is more than welcome to stay but he has to go and I wouldn’t give him a week he would go immediately even if I had to call somebody to make that happen 
. Good luck
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I’d put him out, but couldn’t do that to my child amd grandchild
I wouldn’t let the guy move in. But since you already did Just kick the guy out. And let your daughter and granddaughter live with you.
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He wouldn’t have moved in, in the first place. But no, you’re not wrong. I’d maybe give her the option to tell him he’s gotta go. If she doesn’t like that, then sorry, go with him! 
I wouldn’t have kicked them out bc of the baby. They may end up in a dangerous situation with the baby. I would have laid the rules down and been strict with the adults. You do not have permission to live here so you can get out (to the guy) I’m not being disrespected in my own home. If she leaves with him thats her choice but not on you. Make it known her and the baby are welcome to stay.
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How did you let it get that far? Its your home. Nobody moves in without your consent. Especially if the daughter is already a freeloader. I wouldn’t kick the grandchild out.
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That’s your child and grandchild.
That’s also your home.
That said- instead of kicking her out-maybe set some HEALTHY BOUNDARIES? Or help her get her own place…
Why is it the norm to want to kick your children out when they’re doing something you don’t like instead of having honest adult conversations?!
Christ. Maybe invite this guy to have a chat. Learn about him too. It’s not complicated.!
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I wouldn’t have let her move a man in my house to begin with.
No. Old enough to live with BF, old enough to have baby= old enough to work and have own place.
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Nah you start playing house it’s time to get your own
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I don’t blame you and most likely, would have done the exact same thing, whether they were paying or not.
She shouldn’t be moving other people in. She should of put her baby first. Her baby needed a home. Dude can figure out his own situation. And if he was a stand up guy he would of understood and not put her in that situation. Her and him are both in the wrong for jeopardizing the granddaughters living situation.
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No. You deserve to be safe in your own home
Well 1st his behind would have walked right back out the same door he came in! 2nd why is she moving a man in with her child that she doesn’t even know? I would have straight called the cops and had him removed, and as hard as it is I wouldn’t have been able to do her only because of the baby because who knows what situation the baby is in now 
. I would have been putting down some serious ground rules that’s for sure.
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Not at all. I had my first at 21, I lived w my mom and stepdad. I would’ve never moved someone in especially without asking. And then not only is he being disrespectful and but she’s starting to? That’s wild
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I would’ve told the guy to get out based on the disrespect and if my daughter was going to leave because of that then it would’ve been on her and solely on her for deciding herself to leave the house.
I had a similar situation where I had to move back home. Partner at the time was having problems and I asked my mum - can name stay here for x amount of time because insert issue. It’s not her place to just invite whoever over let alone live there. Majorly disrespectful. I’d give her and bub the option to stay, but defs kick this stranger out.
Now the law told me when I was trying to get my son and his girlfriend out of my house that if I let them stay there one day that I had to get a evicted by the courts by the law but I also told my son we can do this a nice way we can do it the hard way and they went ahead and moved out .Am in GA and that was around 12yrs ago. I’m sure the law is different now but it probably cost more now also cuz they told me to be $75 a person that I wanted to get evicted and like I said that was back then
I wouldn’t kick my daughter and grand daughter out. I would kick the guy out though, and make her pay room and board, and to help out with groceries as well. Of she doesn’t like those rules, then she can find her own place and pay her own way
i wouldn’t have made your daughter leave, but he would have to go.
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Is there a good reason she is staying there? If not, let her and the guy go. Make it clear you are here to help her if she needs it but you aren’t going to enable her. Either way, the guy goes.
I think just him i would have outed …if she wanna pack up n adult wit him …thts on her …bc once sheez out she adults on her own …
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you should’ve kicked the man out, but let daughter and granddaughter to stay. it’s not a safe world. your daughters young and in her shortcomings of common sense it seems to me her baby, your grand baby, needs you a lot!!
I would kick him out. If she wants to leave that’s on her.
Nope. Just be there to help if needed sure she thankyou in the end.
Comes down to how she was raised … if she is being disrespectful then she was raised like that
You should have told her he wasn’t welcome but to kick your daughter and granddaughter out is pathetic
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I’d just kick him out and probably make it known that your daughter and grandchild are always welcome… it seems to me that it’s the guy who is coloring the picture. Don’t ruin what you could have with your child and grandchild
If you’re old enough to have a baby & lay with a man in my house… Your old enough to pay rent. EVERY bill split 4 ways (utilities & house) & buy their own food. If they can’t or won’t then y’all gotta go!!! FYI if she doesn’t pay anything… She has no right moving someone into YOUR home (let alone having some strange man around her kid 
)
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I wouldn’t kick my kid out, but I would kick the guy out. He isn’t my child, he doesn’t have my unconditional love, she does.
No absolutely not! That man would be kicked out that day I found him omfg
She had no right to move a guy in without your permission.
Your daughter was WRONG, End of story, Tell her either they all go or just the guy, End of story. You are not wrong, This is very disrespectful of your daughter
Not for kicking them all out of your house, no, ntah.
Adult daughter with baby squatting with mom & bringing strange slacker guys home to shack up for free can go figure out her adult life with him.
There are more resources now for single mothers for housing, food, childcare, healthcare and birth control, education, job training, job placement than ever before in history.
She can access those. You aren’t a flop house to take advantage of, Social Services or the National Bank of Mom.
Don’t allow a revolving door of re entry over guilt going forward.
Hard as it is, enough is enough or you’ll be in the same held hostage in your own home spot 10 years from now, her likely with more babies for you to support with no fathers in sight if this is an indication of her best thinking.She’s over legal age. Its time to get out and grow up.
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You ARE absolutly NOT , she violated your trust when she allowed him to stay with out your concern ,she is a adult and it’s time for her to take responsibility for her actions.
My only concern is the baby , in one hand I will never be in peace not knowing if my grandchild is safe , but in the other hand if you ask her to keep the baby you might be ended stuck with the baby it seems like your daughter is very irresponsible.
As soon as that man stayed over one night, you should have told your daughter he is not welcome and kick him out
Nope. You are allowed peace in your own home.
Nope! It’s your house and just because someone is family doesn’t make them immune to consequences if they disrespect you in your own house
Tell her she is more than welcome to stay with the baby but temporary people are not welcome to stay the night if they’re disrespectful. If she had any brains she would kick him to the curb and focus on her and her baby.
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No your daughter is the asshole how do you move a man in with your daughter there heck no 
You have every right to make them leave…don’t worry. Your daughter and grandbaby will be back.
She’s 20, not even fully cooked yet and Clearly not making wise choices…I’d say go run with your boy toy and leave my grandchild here with me until you get it together🥴
I would never have let the guy move in I would have you and the baby can not him…
How she move a man into a house that’s not hers? That’s insane. She needs to get her priorities straight…
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No your not. My 18 year old son just bought his first house. It’s time for her to grow up be financially responsible and learn how life really is. My opinion only but maybe kick the guy out and give your daughter the time she needs to get herself situated with housing job ect. Disrespect and rudeness wont be tolerated period. Tough love time Momma and you’ve got this!
Kick him out !
Not your daughter or granddaughter
No ma’am ur not I would have done the same thing
Nope…tell them to grow up n take care of themselves. You don’t need to be a doormat.
I personally couldn’t kick my grand baby out. I would tell her either he leaves or him and her leave and the baby stays.
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I would keep the grandchild and make mom and her new barely known boyfriend get out. It’s not safe for the mom to bring some random guy around her daughter.
No you’re not, take it from someone first hand
Ideally she and the baby would stay, but either he leaves and they stay or they leave and the baby stays. This is whole situation is wild to me. When my husband and I first started dating I kind of gradually moved in with him while he was living with his parents without exactly asking (we were like 19&20) BUT I was extremely respectful and very thankful they didn’t tell me to take a hike. So I cleaned their house almost daily, Made sure his dad had dinner when he got home, cleaned up after myself, bought our food, and offered them money whenever I could. At first glance you wouldn’t know we lived there. I’m sorry you’re going through this.
She is a momma, she needs to go set up house now.
I would tell them the man is not allowed there PERIOD. I would also tell her that she can stay IF and ONLY if she corrects her disrespectfulness, but that the baby is always welcome. If she doesn’t like the boundaries then I’d tell her it is time for her to get her own place if she wants to act that way or have him in the home.
I’d have just got shot of the bloke. Now you’ve probably pushed them closer together & god knows what hell hole they’ll end up in
I would have kicked the man out. And if daughter chooses to go with him, the baby has to stay.
I would tell her she and the baby can live there till she gets on her feet but he is not living there period and you need to do now or you legally have to file in court with eviction after 30 days with him having a address
He would have to go, and if she goes too well that’s up to her. If she is an unfit mother and can’t provide for her child you might need to talk to an attorney about getting custody.
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