Is it wrong of me for not wanting to attend a friend’s bridal dinner because she invited someone that I just can’t be cordial with and I respectfully told her that I would rather do something with her another day?
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Lot of “I” in there! If she’s your friend, put her first!
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I would definitely try to go. The day is about her not you and you should be able to control yourself even if you only go for an hour. It shows that YOU made the effort and you love her enough to put her first!
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Yes because it’s not about you.
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You’re letting this person live rent free in your head - you’re missing out on the greatest moments in your friends life because you are allowing someone to have that type of control over you? I mean if that’s the type of person you choose to be then maybe it’s best you weren’t there because your friend deserves better.
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Just be there for YOUR friend ignore the person you don’t like. Thats being a grownup
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If I can go to my step sisters wedding with her Mom there who literally hated me you can do this😊
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Very immature. The only way I can see there be given a pass is if the person hurt you physically or threatened your life.
It’s not about you. It’s about celebrating your friend.
Stay on opposite sides of the room and be a grown adult! Life is too short to miss out on things bc of other people!
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I am going to go against the grain . If you don’t feel comfortable in going and you have told your friend that if she’d like to do something with you on the side I would understand as I wouldn’t want anyone to come to an event I was holding and feel upset as a bridal shower hens night etc you move around but engagement and wedding you can ask to sit away from someone which I have had guests do that and I am happy to do it so everyone can make it. It’s not like your making her choose you over her you are stepping aside to make sure your friend doesn’t feel inbetween you and who you don’t want to see.
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I think it depends on the reason. If it’s petty I’d just pretend the person wasn’t there. But I was asked to go somewhere and be in close quarters with a woman that slept with my husband-ex now (that had been a long time “friend”) and basically ruined my marriage. I mean I know he played his role as well but I wasn’t about to go sit in the same room with her without acting a fool no matter the reason. So there can be reasons that warrant this.
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Grow up
Take this as an opportunity to work on self discipline and self control.
Don’t miss these big important moments over petty bs
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Yes. YTA. Grow up and behave like an adult.
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Yes. You should both be able to set aside your issues for the sake of your friend for that one day. Are you going to skip the wedding if that friend is there too?
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Depends on why you don’t like the person. Sometimes you need to pull your big girl undies up and deal with people you just don’t like. Now if that person caused you significant trauma then no you are not an AH
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Today I went to a Christmas party where my mother was there. I haven’t spoken to her since January. My family all played games together and even had to play a game against my mother and we still didn’t speak. I almost didn’t go so glad I did I enjoyed the company of other family members. It wasn’t awkward cause we didn’t let it be. It was just like we didn’t know each other. Decided I needed to be the bigger adult.
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Yeah. Ur putting ur hate before ur mate. So toy won’t be going to the wedding then either. Life’s too short love grow uo a little its a fay or two xx
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Let’s not make her day about you!! It’s her dinner, her wedding she can invite who she wants don’t make her choose you might not like the outcome just saying 
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Way to make someone else’s day about you
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Idk I personally think you’re TA. This isn’t like a sleep over or wine night, it’s her bridal shower. Just don’t talk to the other girl or even look at her. It’s about your friend and her big day. This has nothing to do with you
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Do whatever you want to do
No…I think if there is potentially going to be a scene made by either one of you, it is a better decision to not go and potentially ruin your friend’s shower. 
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Don’t let your dislike of someone stop you from going. When faced with a similar situation I try to pretend they aren’t there. It kind of works
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Yes. This day isn’t about you - it’s about HER!
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You’re the ah. It’s not about you. Are you gonna miss the wedding too. I’m sure that person will be there too
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I’ve 2 friends that don’t get along for petty reasons. I always invite both but it’s always the same one who doesn’t show . P’s me off because both have friends I’m not keen on but I’m always polite and make the effort. And I’m not missing out because of someone who is irrelevant to me
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Yeah, you’re the a hole. Grow up. If she’s really a friend the other person’s presence shouldn’t matter. You missed a major life event over YOUR OWN drama.
I personally think it is rude . We are all adults . If you see someone you don’t care for , just don’t engage with the person .
Nope, you’re not in the wrong.
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Yes. YTA
That’s your friend and it’s HER day, not yours. How childish to NOT be able to set your differences aside for ONE day
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I guess it would depend on the reason why you aren’t cordial with said person. People commenting seem to forget there are some awful people out there, and maybe this person did something terrible to her.
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Nobody is telling you to acknowledge and talk to her, nobody is telling you that you have to sit next to her… unless she has done something to seriously traumatize you or done something illegal to you, then YTA. So, if you (and/or her) cannot put aside y’all’s beef with each other on hold for y’all’s friends celebration, then there’s some growing up to do.
Not to mention, I can pretty much guarantee that you “respectfully” telling her that still hurt her feelings - nobody should be put in a position to where they feel they have to choose of who they shouldn’t and should be friends with because one friend doesn’t like that person.
Might as well not go to the wedding either then….
Get over yourself. None of this is about you.
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Yes you are.How old are you? Twelve? I’d def take a step back from my friendship with you,if I was her.Grow up
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It’s really not about you, it’s about your friend. Go and either be civil or be quiet.
No, you don’t have to go. Did she know you didn’t like this person… if she did, I would wonder why she would invite you both…
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NTA. i avoid people i don’t like, “family” included. i refuse to compromise my peace.
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I did not go to.my best friends baby shower bc of who she invited knowing we do not get along and I really do not have any regrets and all is fine today and she understood my point as I did hers for inviting the trash but ya know whatever life goes on.
How old are you, you didn’t say. I figure maybe 6-10. Grow up and stop being the A-wipe. Unless she did some serious damage to you the only one who cares is the one who is suppose to be your friend nobody else cares.
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You are simply being self serving. If that makes you an as****e, then own it!
It’s her day. Suck it up.
Why didn’t you set your differences aside for one day? That’s ridiculous as an adult.
Kinda. It’s not about you. Grow up
Your mental health is more important. Don’t go. If she cane understand she’s not a real friend anyway.
No you’re not and don’t let anybody tell you you are if you know yourself that well to say and know that you cannot be cordial with that person and you rather keep your sanity intact then do you and like you said do something with her on another day just you and her.
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Honestly if that’s how my friend felt and it didn’t come from a place with trauma… I’d be like that’s ok and you would not be in attendance for my BIG day.
This event is about YOUR FRIEND. Not you. Not the other person who clearly is a bigger person than you in this situation because she said yes and is going, not stressing the bride out and making it about her.
Be an adult.
You don’t have to like her or even pay attention to her. Pretend she’s not there.
But don’t do that to the bride and make it about you and your wants and needs.
Or don’t be surprised if on her big day you’re sitting at home.
There’s people I don’t get along with and I always say if I see them at the same place then I just won’t talk to them. They deserve to be there as much as I do but I’m keeping my distance. Just don’t talk to her
I think thats petty. If your a real friend & also a adult, you put on your big girl panties & get over it & support your friend
Maybe for your friend, put your feelings aside. Be polite and distance yourself the best you can
It’s about the bride and friendships.
Yes. Grow up. You don’t have to interact with that person.
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Yes you are. The day is not about you.
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It’s HER bridal shower and you still can’t be mature for your friend? If this person is going to the shower I’m sure they’ll be at the wedding too, are you going to skip that too? If you must, leave early but go for your friend and get over yourself.
Yes, yes you are. It’s not about you, grow up.
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Yes its not about you so get over yourself, bite the bullet, and celebrate your friend!!!
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Yes. It’s about your friend not you. Be an adult and just avoid the person.
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I would never force a friend or family member to be around anyone they aren’t comfortable with. Especially someone where there’s already conflict, and in the way of trying to avoid any conflict, I personally wouldn’t hold you responsible for not attending. Some people just don’t get along and a lot of times, it’s best to keep those people separate.
Personally, you’re not the AH. As a true friend I would understand where you’re coming from. And doing something ourselves at a later date would work out just fine for me.
However, if the person you have an issue with, also causes issues with other people, I’d have to downsize my circle by removing that person.
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It’s your friends day. If all possible you need to go
Depends on what the other person did. If they talk or talked trash about you or slept with an ex or something that didn’t harm you physically or mentally, you should go. You don’t have to talk to them or acknowledge them. It’s about your friend.
This isn’t about you, Everyone she has invited means something to HER! so yes you Ata!
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NTA. If it makes you that uncomfortable, then you are well within your right to stay away. However, what I’m wondering is: Why is your so-called friend friends with this person?
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YES! YTA!!!
It’s not about you!! Get. Over. Yourself!!
She can’t be that much of a friend then
Well I’ll sit right next to anyone who doesn’t like me idc
I would personally go and just keep your distance from the person you do not like. You are letting them take an experience away from you. But if they make you very uncomfortable then understandable
Yes you are TA and being petty. Grow up and start putting others ahead of yourself.
It’s not about you. And you made it about you. You might as well just skip the wedding now too. You should have taken the high road and shown up and just be an adult about it.
Yes. This isn’t about YOU.
Yta at some point you need to grow up and suck it up. My best friend has a friend who I can’t stand but it’s at almost every event she throws. I simply don’t talk to her… I’m not missing out of things with my friend and her family bc someone I like is there
What makes you think that if this person is invited to the bridal shower she is not invited to the wedding itself…are you willing to miss out on your friends big day? I have friends who don’t like each other but love me and can put on their adult panties and be civil for the sake of me, and I love them both for it
You’re immature and need to get your priorities straight lol who cares just keep your head up and be proper
this is your friend’s bridal lunch, If you don’t like the person that will also be there, what are you going to do, when this person is also invited to the wedding??? Not go??? I will agree with a lot of these comments, put on your big girl panties & go, Just sit away from this person.
I guess it depends. It’s it a good friend? Acquaintance? If it’s a good friend unless that person harmed you or someone you love I simply don’t see how people can be such petty bitches that they can’t control themselves around other people they don’t like.
If it’s an acquaintance I honestly think the same applies, but I also don’t think people should feel obligated to go to such things for acquaintances as well so it’s not that bad imo.
Yes it’s wrong. It’s not about you.
Why would you punish the bride to be because you’re petty?? It is not your day. It isn’t about you or anyone else but the bride
If that persons going to the shower what are the chances they’ll be at the wedding as well? buy some pepper spray and attend anyway for your friends sake
Suck it up. It’s her day.
Rude much
Its the brides celebration
And you won’t attend it because you have a problem with one of her other friends
Get a grip on reality
Suck it up
Its not about you
Perhaps if this lady you don’t like is at the wedding
Perhaps you shouldn’t go to that either
You sound like a spoiled brat. Grow the hell up!! This isn’t about poor old me!!! You sound like a kids that says " if l can’t be 1st l’m not going to play". If l was your so called friend
( you don’t sound very friendly) l would tell you that if don’t come then l don’t want to hang out with you later either. You can go and avoid the person that you don’t like. Also by not going you are letting the other person win. Don’t let someone you don’t like have that much power over you. Put on your big girl panties and go.
It’s childish, but NTA. If you would have went and created drama at her shower, you would have become TAH.
is it over something petty? honestly, if it is… it’s always fun to show up and act like someone doesn’t exist. just an idea.
if it affects your mental health or if she’s going to start shit with you, that’s different
Why are you giving that person the satisfactory of you not being there. I would go to show them I’m here to and I don’t care about you.