So my fiancé & I have been having issues for a while now over this. He’s mad because I basically said his mom is crappy for not coming to see our baby who lives 30min away from her, but can go visit everyone else and makes time for everyone else. I have brought this up plenty of times and he acts as though my feelings aren’t valid and has actually said “you’re reading too much into it”. Honestly, I get very upset when it comes to this because my baby is my priority and will always be. I’ve also told him that I will not allow for her to be in and out of my baby’s life and that I will not allow anyone to put him last on their priority list. She doesn’t even try asking how he’s doing. What I’ve noticed the past few years is she always has time for her friends and the various men she’s been with, but doesn’t seem to care or have time when it comes to her kids or grandkids. I’ve also noticed she only texts my fiancé when she needs something from him, but tries playing it off and that’s when she decides she “wants to go out to eat” or “visit the baby”. Am I wrong for feeling this way?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. AITA for thinking my MIL doesn't care about our baby?
Have you reached out to her? Asked her how she’s doing, maybe even invited her over for lunch or something?
If there’s tension between you both she might feel uncomfortable. Try reaching out but at the same time it’s up to your husband it’s his mum so if he isn’t bothered no point getting upset? She might be the grandma that visits 3 times a year it’s not a big deal.
Yes , you are a little bit wrong, I do not want to be mean but your baby is NOT the center of attention to everyone but you. He is just your priority .Your mother-in-law’s life doesn’t revolve around you or your son. If, as you say, she has always been like this why you try to exert pressure, your son is no different from the others,stop trying to force your kid into her
Do you all invite her over I mean trust me as a grandmother I’m not just gunna shower up without being asked or have you gone to visit her
You sound really entitled. My partners mum, is a very busy woman and I always send photos and updates and she replies, she doesn’t see him quite as often and I know she’d like to, but that’s because she has her own life to live and my child isn’t the centre of everyone’s attention. Also, it seems like you want her to make all the effort. It goes both ways.
Most roads travel 2 directions…but seems you live on a one way street.
I feel the same way about everyone on my side of the family. I’ve been close to some of them at different times in my life but haven’t been super close to any of them in years, so I don’t know why I expected that to change overnight. Or why I’m so invested in them having a relationship with her. I’m also really bad at planning get togethers, and our house isn’t comfortable for visitors so I can’t just invite them over whenever. Even my adoptive parents (no legal ties, but they raised me and asked to be honorary grandparents) have only seen her 3 or 4 times and she’s 10 months old.
I’m honestly trying to recognize it as a “me” issue because I can’t force anyone to rearrange their lives for my family.
Totally not wrong BUT many grandparents don’t see their grandkids often, even in a close distance thing. Just don’t cater to her. Don’t allow her to ask for help or anything. 
forcing the issue won’t make it a loving and devoted relationship. She seems single so dating and finding a companion is a good thing because if she was MORE involved and had zero outside interests she would be one of those overbearing ones who hyper focuses on the mistakes you make in her opinion. Count it as a blessing and don’t focus on it… trust me
A few things:
- Do you invite her over or ask to go see her? There are so many posts of women complaining about their in-laws being “too involved” that the rules of expectation have become pretty muddied around visiting parents.
- Have you had/do you have a lot of rules around visits? What are they? Are they reasonable? Or do they make people jump through hoops to be involved in your child’s life? Its ok to have rules and boundaries but it’s important to make sure they’re reasonable. When they’re not reasonable this can often be the result.
- What exactly would make you happy?
Her children are grown. Her grandchildren aren’t her children so they’re not her responsibility.
She’s allowed to have a life outside of them. She should have a life outside of them. It’s not fair to put the stringent “in and out” expectations on someone who is not the child’s parent. Their life does not have to center around your child just because yours does.
That said, it’s not unreasonable to be upset if you feel like she truly doesn’t care at all about her grandchild, but I would recommend taking a step back and really looking at the situation before you continue down the road you’re on.
My mother in law does this and I cut her out
These grandmothers and great grandmothers are missing out on the most beautiful relationships in life. Mine are a complete joy and make my heart sing!
You are entitled to your feelings. However with your attitude I can understand the mom not coming around. Your child should be YOUR priority. Grandma raised her kids.
Get off your butt and take the baby to see his grandma 
quit waiting for her to show up like you’re royalty. The woman has a life and since she’s raised her kids now it’s her turn to have a little freedom. If you live 30 minutes away you can take the baby to visit her.
Prayers for your fiance. Amene