AITA for wanting to throw my own baby shower?

AITA? I wanted to throw my own babyshower, but my mother in law and step mom are having a fit because it is “unheard of”. A little back ground my sister and I are 13 weeks apart and will be having our showers just a couple months apart. They suggested I have a small shower and re-use my sisters decorations. She is having a girl & I am having a boy. I told them if they wanted to help financially it would be more than appreciated but not necessary & I wouldn’t mind planning my shower with the assistance of my sister in law. Should I give in and let them throw my shower or should I continue with my plans and throw my own shower?

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. AITA for wanting to throw my own baby shower?

I threw my own because the friend who was going to help was too busy.
So it’s not unheard of.

I threw my own with my 2nd baby!

Why would she get to have decor and you don’t get to have your own decor but have to use hers? Is this your first baby?

U can plan your own and why use your sister’s u might want a totally different theme. They should want to help u…

I threw mine, I see no problem with it.

If they want to throw you a shower, let them. They are excited for you.

Its not unheard of. Do what you want. Its your life.

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I just went through this bullshyt too! Throw your own. And they have zero right to be offended or upset if they are trying to do you dirty anyway! No. We chose to throw our own(both moms were upset because it’s not traditional) because we knew nobody else would do it right. We waited 7 years for this baby and had a very clear picture of what we wanted and we just weren’t going to trust this to anyone else.

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Don’t invite them and have your own fun

I have 4 kids and did my own showers for the first two the 3rd I did a beer and diaper party and the 4th the fathers sister and cousin hosted

I financed my baby shower and my Sisters hosted. They couldn’t afford to pay for everything so I covered the cost. :woman_shrugging:t3:

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Sorry, but I’d honestly be insulted if someone suggested I use second hand shower decor. Maybe if it was a friend but not family… a lot of the same people would be going to both yours and sisters showers…
I’d just throw my own baby shower with the decor I chose and if mom and MIL had an issue, then they don’t have to come…? I’m not close with my family so I don’t deal with nonsense very well. Best of luck, mama and congratulations!

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Absolutely not. throw your own don’t even let them know🤷🏽‍♀️

If your thoughts and concerns aren’t being heard I’d throw my own my mom threw my first two baby showers but I planned them and picked my themes and all the food so it’s definitely not unheard of

I don’t blame you for not wanting to use your sisters leftover/hand-me-down decorations. You deserve a shower/party just for you!

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Let them throw you a family/church shower, then throw your own friends/coworkers shower. No hurt feelings or grudges, just double the excitement and love for you and your baby!

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I had two babies. Both were Air Force “brats”. I didn’t have a shower with either of them. My first was born in Okinawa in 1976. We only knew a few people and they moved in and out of the area where we lived. We left Okinawa for the States when I was 6 1/2 months pregnant with my daughter. We spent 30 days on leave visiting family before we had to be in Clovis, New Mexico for 6 months. We didn’t know anybody there and there was no shower. Then we left the military and moved to Kentucky. Our daughter was 4 months old, our son was 20 months. A little late for a shower for either one. I was an 8 hour drive from my family and friends, whom I had only seen briefly in 2 1/2 years. I’m afraid the mothers of my son’s two boys, if they had showers, I didn’t get to go. As for my daughter… her mother-in-law was good enough to hold a shower for her first boy. I was broke. When her second little boy came along, I was even more broke. But we sure loved them both anyway.

Throw your own and have it how you want it, I did and I loved it

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I planted mine so U can too

Throw your own shower. I get that they may be trying to save some money but what if they were different themes? Can’t reuse all the decor. Do your own thing girl

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You could just Mail out pregnancy updates and include what you want them to give you at your “shower”. Giving your own shower is just asking for :gift:

Throw your own and if they continue they don’t have to show up :woman_shrugging:t4:

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Sounds like they just want to be lazy with yours, so host your own with your SIL so that it is everything that you want it to be.

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do what YOU want. eff any body else.

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It’s your shower, if I had the opportunity to do it again, I’d definitely throw my own shower

do your own thing and enjoy

This baby is only coming out of you once. Do whatever YOU want, because there is no do-over. They’ll get over it eventually.

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I would just do your own shower and they can help if they want

In our area throwing your own shower is tacky and looks like a gift grab.

Typically, the maid of honor and/or bridesmaids, future Godmother get together to throw the shower.

It is given that they do it for the Mom to be.

Congratulations

Due to my hubby’s family and mine not knowing each other when I had my first child, we decided that it would be better if I through my own where we thought it was best. It made a lot of sense and allowed the day to be what I wanted

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Throw your own!! This isn’t a hand-me-down event :woman_facepalming:t3: they’re the A… for even suggesting you do that!!

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Throw your own. I feel like they’re making go second ti your sister. Why does she get to have hers first and u reuse her stuff. I wouldn’t be doing that

I threw my own shower with my second baby who cares it’s not their pregnancy. What’s so wrong with throwing your own baby shower? What you are just not supposed to have a baby shower because no one else throws one for you?

Sit down and talk to your friends
Tell them how you feel
Your having a BOY
So you will want to do your own theme
Ask them for suggestions and go from there

I planned mine, got the cakes, got the decorations, sent out the invites, and paid for everyone that came but the only thing I did not pay for was their alcohol. It was my last kid and I was having another boy and I wanted it my way with theme and calm environment. I did do a registry as well. Everyone respected my wishes and it was fun to have family who came and friends who came. I say do what you want to do and if they show they show and if they don’t they don’t. After all you are the one carrying the baby. There is no do-over once baby is here.

No! Don’t give in. You both deserve to be celebrated equally

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I guess times have changed as I have never heard of anyone throwing themselves a baby shower. In my world it has always been friends or family that do it.

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Do your own and if they wanna help awesome

Just do what you want!

Do it up! The world is full of stress and bullshit. This should be a fun happy time.

Throw your own. They want you to go with her style shower instead of making different and that not right, clearly you want different colors and then

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throw your own honey it’s ok , can’t use same decorations if one’s a boy and one a girl , but besides that , you should be able to celebrate your own time

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Continue your plans it’s your baby

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Throw your own. You should both be able to have your own events with your own themes.

When did women start throwing their own baby showers? Back when I had my babies, someone else threw the shower for you.

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Nope do not give in! Go ahead an plan your own shower!

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Is this both ur first kiddo? If it is both first are they hosting both? If second maybe e do a sprinkle or gender reveal … and not expect someone to plan it but it’s nice if they want to?

Def no the A but I suggest you stick to your guns and plan it with yourself and sister in Law you’ll be way happier with the end result. And you def don’t want to feel like an after thought if they don’t do as well planing your vs your sister

Throw your own. You should have your own special one. Reusing her stuff would make it less special.

No you shouldn’t give in, remember the baby shower is about you and your partner celebrating you child coming into the world soon and probably will be your last big catch-up with everyone for a while. Do what you want what makes you happy etc

Do what you want to do. Fuck the rest.

I personally wouldn’t want to reuse my sister’s decorations . nothing wrong with planning your own shower .

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I would straight up tell them that you feel like if they throw it, they’ll make you piggyback off your sister’s and you want yours to be your own. Maybe they’ll get it and fall into line with what you actually want; if not, then you can do your own thing.

I grew up believing that it’s in poor taste (bad ettiquite) to throw your own.
However, if one of my friends/family threw their own i wouldn’t scoff. I try not to judge.

I had two kids and didn’t have a baby shower for either one of them. So do you it’s your day!

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You have a right to your very own. Why is your shower limited ? I’d be asking questions. I’d be saying mine is just as important as my sisters and if they don’t want to support me then don’t come?

If somebody else wants to pay for the shower I’d let them. Not because I think it’s wrong to pay for your own shower I know I did but I would much rather somebody else have paid for it :woman_shrugging:t3:

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If they’re gonna half ass it then throw it yourself.

I know a couple of people that have thrown their own

Doesn’t matter if its your first or fifth . If they can’t do it your way don’t do it with them throw your own thats a special moment for you

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Throw your own. I did.

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Do what you want, is this your first…tell your step mom to shut the hell up! She should back your decision…if you work, maybe your coworkers will have one for you also as a surprise, mine did!

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Eh who cares?! We aren’t really having one but more like a cook out lol if people bring gifts great if not it’s okay too we are just really happy and want to celebrate it. I’d maybe do something like that if you’re not sure but honestly it’s your first you could go all out it’s your life! I would have for sure with my first

Let them throw the shower but pay for new decorations. I wouldn’t want to reuse the same theme either so I see your side but if they’re willing to pay for the rest of it, let them.

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I have only ever thrown my own baby showers or gender reveals. No one has ever wanted to do it for me. At least when you do your own you can do it how you want it

Forget what they say and think
This is your baby
So go ahead and plan and give your own
Baby shower

Throw your own shower it’s not against the law to want to celebrate your new baby the way you want. Some people don’t have one some get surprised some plan it. Honestly my first was a surprise my second I planned it and my third I didn’t have one. It’s up to you mama don’t let no one make you feel wrong for how you want to celebrate your new baby. Congratulations by the way :slightly_smiling_face:

Do your own thing! It’s your baby, and why would one be expected to have new items and decorations, but the other recycle stuff. I get trying to save some money, but the themes are different and each shower should be special.

Just do yours without the family, if they’re so opposed. I had mine with friends and coworkers, my family didn’t even show up except for my mom, to my baby shower.

Unheard of?

Every one I know (myself included) have planned our own baby showers.

You do you.

As for them telling you to reuse the decorations, unless you were wanting to do the same theme as your SIL, it’s kinda stupid.

Do they realise that your babies are different genders??

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Unheard of?

Every one I know (myself included) have planned our own baby showers.

You do you.

As for them telling you to reuse the decorations, unless you were wanting to do the same theme as your SIL, it’s kinda stupid.

Do they realise that your babies are different genders??

I would throw my own baby shower, using leftover baby shower decorations would not work anyhow for 2 different sex babies…

I literally just went to my best friend’s baby shower that she threw herself… its not uncommon anymore

No? I’ve always done my own as I don’t have anyone nearby family wise and I wouldn’t expect friends to foot the bill?!

Why not choose a date between and have a joint one? Chances are some guests will be the same at both, family and the odd friend, why not do 1 big party ?

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I would ask my sister what she like​:love_letter:My self one big one together. I had a sister 13 mo’s apart. Now all I have is my memories of her.(RIP) I miss her. But I can have her in my heart. Just something you both may think about.:love_letter::rose:

No have your own with your own decorations. If they don’t like it tough .your baby your choice

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I helped my mom plan mine. Do it how you want it, you don’t get a redo after it’s too late!

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Go with your gut instinct & what you feel is right

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Throw your own shower but I’d definitely reuse any thing from your sister’s you can. Baby’s are expensive and spending money on all your own decorations is expensive. I’m also big on reusing anything I can and I upcyled alot for my own shower from things I found for free from other people’s showers

Since you & your sister are both pregnant I would ABSOLUTELY use it as an excuse to have a baby shower together! I mean how memorable would that be!? :black_heart:
But if you want your own shower, I understand. I’m sure there’s some decorations you might be able to use from your sister’s party, but if you’re having different gender kids, the decorations aren’t usually gender neutral…
Ultimately do what is going to make you happy. Because it’s your life, & the kid is yours & your husband’s, that’s the only other person’s opinion you need. :person_shrugging:

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You do you girl throw yourself the baby shower you want​:black_heart::black_heart:

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Ur baby your party. Do it the way u want.

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While not typically thrown by the expecting mother you’re still not as asshole for wanting to.

Have a big party for both cheaper & better

I wanted to throw my own too and I gave in… Don’t! Do it your way! It’s your baby and your day and you shouldn’t regret it!

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Do it yourself. You will be happier

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