All our arguments stem from his parents!

My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 years. We have a son together, as well as a house, two cars, and all our bank accounts. We both work full time jobs - his in private sector management, mine in government. Sounds like a typical relationship, right? Well it could be, but there’s one issue we seem to always have and it turns into major arguing in front of our son. Then that issue typically causes other things to be said in our arguments. That issue is his family. His family used to be close to us and my family. We used to celebrate holidays together at our house the start of us owning our first home, do small trips together, and visit one another. Then his mom had a facial injury that led to her having serious nerve damage in the face. She sought treatment and medical care for many years now. She has some good days, but more bad days. This ultimately along with COVID created a very distant relationship with them. She was in too much pain in the beginning to have visits. As she started to see small improvements we went over there every now and then as she can handle. During COVID, his mom thought it was best not see each other though. As COVID progressed, she came around a little bit to us seeing them. But now, it’s been over half our sons life with this distant relationship and the only way they’ll see us is if we go to them. His mom goes out to get her hair done and nails. She has a housekeeper keeping up with the house (always did even during COVID when she didn’t think it was safe to see each other). So our arguments are about us seeing them. I tell him since his mom has some good days and does go out for self personal care, she can come up to see us on one of her good days, see our new home, watch her grandson play, swim, etc. I can order us in or make us lunch/ dinner. I also tell him if his moms not up for it, his dad and brothers don’t visit either. His brother are in their late 20’s, don’t work, and live at home. One does suffer with mental health, the other got a psychiatric diagnosis of ‘lazy’ recently. So all I’m asking is for his family to make an effort to visit us. He says that I know they won’t and he doesn’t understand why I have to make it hard on him. I remind him his family was invited to Xmas Eve at our house, my brothers graduation party, his mom to my sis in law’s bridal shower, my brother’s wedding. They didn’t show up to any. Also, his mom pocket dialed us and was heard saying how my dad and cousin know the house we purchased is bad, but they don’t care because my cousin makes money off the sale. She’s also said in the past that if her son and I don’t work out, she’ll always make sure he’s taken care of but my fate will be back at my parents house. He recently told me his mom told him she looked at baby picture albums of him and thought his life would be different. My parents are much different - our visits are mutual and if they don’t hear from us, they’ll call. Another thing his parents don’t do - if they can’t visit, they can at least call their grandson. These lead to us wanted to leave each other, him saying I’m negative energy for him, he can’t wait for work to come around Monday morning for him to be away from me, how relaxing his business trips are because he doesn’t have to deal with me the entire time, etc. All of this because I feel his parents should make an effort to come to us every now and then, not always us to them. I’d like to see an effort on their end to want something with my son and I. Am I in the wrong? Also important for me to add that I have a pre-existing lung condition with a life expectancy in the 50’s currrently, so when he says he doesn’t have much time left with his parents and his mom has nerve pain I ask him why my lung condition isn’t on that same level of importance with him. I’ve missed many nebulizing sessions in the past to allow us to visit his family later into the night. In these arguments, he claims I didn’t treat him good. Yet, I work full time, drop off/pick up our son, get him ready for school, do his homework, maintain the house cleanliness, do the laundry, and ensure he has dinner when he gets home from work. All things I think he overlooks to throw it in my face how his mom never said anything to his dad when he’d read the newspaper rfor 2-3 hours weekend mornings! Yes, but he was the only person who worked in their house and she always had a housekeeper! My boyfriends only reason for bringing that up is because I ask him to mop and sweep Saturday mornings. Advice?