If You Dont Feel Right Leave! I Would!
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Stay with him. He needs you now plus he really loveâs you.
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No walk away. If he really wanted to be with you he would have gave you space to heal from your last relationship like you asked and waited for you. He wouldnât have found someone else that fast and had unprotected sex with her and put a whole ass baby inside her! Thatâs a little crazy. A break and space for you meant time to heal so you could move forward in healthy way and head space and be able to maintain a healthy relationship with this man and be a good new mom to your newborn baby without jumping right into something you werenât ready for. A break and space for him meant fuck all about you and do whatever he felt like with whoever he wanted and he wasnât thinking about you or moving forward in a healthy relationship with you at some point in the near future, at all. Youâre fooling yourself if you really believe that he wanted to be with you and loved you so much blah blah. Honey his actions prove otherwise. I donât think that you will be able to recover from this situation and have a healthy relation with this man while thereâs another woman and baby between you. Think about this⌠you wanted space to heal to mive forward and have a good relationship. He ruined that. You wonât be able to have that now, at least not with him. Hes not for you. Find someone else. Move on. It doesnât make you a bad person at all. He doesnât deserve you. Thatâs clear.
Complicated ! Yours , mine and ? Shouldnât have taken a break. Depending on the economics itâs no different than him talking care of your child from another man. The children are the ones to worry about .
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He stepped up when you were pregnant with another manâs baby , but you wanna leave him because he got another woman pregnant when you guys were on a break ? Thatâs wrong on your part
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You all took a break. What he did on that break is sadly normal. You can be an amazing stepmama and step in just like he did!
P.S. Screw abusive narcissists. Been there done that. The other guy seems much more of a winner!
I never understood a âbreakâ. I thought you are either together or not. What is this break term?? I think that since they are NOT together and made it so that she has to decide whether or not be with him. She loves him. He moved on to someone else. Too much confusion between them when they decided to go on a âbreakâ. The relationship was over and now he wants to come back. She has to make a decision with all the variables and see if this is reasonable. She shouldnât feel bad if she doesnât want to do this. At least they both know what they want?? 
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I think if you have to ask people what to do, you already know what to do. You just donât want to seem like the bad guy. Youâre not. Everyone is entitled to leave for whatever reasons they have.
As soon as his baby is born he will leave you for his biological baby. If heâs willing to step up to the plate being a parent for a child that wasnât his. There is no chance in hell that he would ever leave his own baby without creating a family for his biological child. I could be wrong but I really feel his love and emotional connection will be strong once baby arrives.
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Yeah⌠you decided to leave. He doesnât have to not see anyone else while you chose to leave him. Also he stepped up and is willing to raise another manâs baby with you. You need to grow up a little and think about how your own actions lead you hete
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If you love him thereâs no reason to walk away
You wanted a break to get over your ex and he tried to move on⌠thats not on him and its not fair of you to punish him for it.
You need to decide if you want him or not. If you want him then realize he didnt do wrong and move on⌠if you dont then leave him be.
Either way do not interfere with him raising his child.
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Sounds to me like heâs better off without you! You left him. Did you expect him to just wait like a lost puppy dog?
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Heâs in the same situation you found him in. Itâs just opposite. If he can get past it you should if you really do love him
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That sounds super complicated. But if you both really love one another, be there for him like he did for you. I donât think heâs at fault if you were both on a break. Unfortunately things like that do happen.
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You guys are being mean. Smh. Obviously, you guys have never been in any kind of abusive relationship and it shows.
To the OP. I am sorry that you had to deal with a narcissistic, they are terrible people. Sorry that you posed this scenario and the holier than thou crowed is calling you names.
I understand your feelings and what I can say is that you know your situation better than anyone. Donât rely on the internet for answers. Deep down your intuition is telling you what to do. Donât confuse your heart with your intuition.
Yes, he may have helped you with your child. Yes you guys were split up because you needed to heal. No one knows what thatâs like. It sucks for him to have been able to move on and messed around so quickly, I know the feeling of that as well and it hurts. Deep down you feel that itâs illogical to hold it against him because yall were split up but it also still hurts because of the aforementioned. It still feels like cheating and disloyalty. The truth is somewhere in the middle. However, for your mental sanity, you cannot accept what you are not ready to accept. Itâs not fair for you or him. You canât penalize him for ever but you also canât live with that pain. I canât tell you what to do, but the most humane thing you can do for the two of you is to let him go if this will haunt you. Neither of you deserves the pain feeling betrayed brings. Seek counseling if you feel it helps to heal yourself.
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Well, he was there for you when you had another manâs baby, I donât see how itâs different to be honest. But of you donât feel right, then you donât.
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I have a question, why not couples counseling instead of a break? Because now thereâs thereâs whole other person in this. Anyways, I donât think you should be hurt necessarily. Depending on the terms of the break, be mad at yourself maybe but not him if you said yeah idc go see other people or didnât explicitly say it. Even if you did it could have still happened, but if you had asked him to wait then be hurt. But I donât think itâs fair to be mad or upset at this, heâs a parent of of biological child now just like you. Whatever you do donât stand in the way with what he wants to do with his baby.
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If you really love him you stay. From the sound of it you wanted the break⌠Yâall were split so he didnât cheat. He stood by you pregnant by another man⌠You canât do the same for him? Double standards much?
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You guys werenât together anymore. He could do whatever he wanted
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Itâs completely your choice but you was on a break when he was seeing the other person
Hmmm, you know as Iâm sitting here reading this post and some of the comments, the first thing that crosses my mind is âto everyone giving advice, including myself, what would we really do in this situation?â Because tbh, I think that once the baby is born he will go be with his biological child. However, I think you are wrong to walk away. You are the one that wanted the break and whats happened happened. But letâs be real, if I were in your position I would walk away. Because of my past relationships, I have tons of trust issues and would be too worried about him leaving when the baby is born. Id wait til its born and if he still wants to be together go from there.
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A break means broken up. As in, he could do as he pleased. If you didnât want what could happen after you shouldnât have broke up.
So you shouldnât be holding that against him. If you love him, youâd love his baby too, just as he loves yours
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You arenât married and you arenât âtiedâ to him. You have freedom to do what you will. Either stay and keep bad habits for your kid or leave and be happier. Your choice. You call the shots.
I was in this situation kinda I met my now husband when my daughter was a year old and he stepped up but I felt bad because I had a child and we were so young I felt I was taking away from his time to be free and young so I separated from him for 2 years in this time he had a child with another girl (long story) but the love we had for one another was like no other fast forward 12 years and here we are stronger than ever and with a son together yes we had the baby momma drama but she grew up and matured and now we get along
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If you really love him youâll forgive him and it will get better follow your heart. After all , you were separated in that period of time and things happen âŚ. maybe he was hurt tooâŚ
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Errybody should get an IUD 
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You were technically broken up when you take a break
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I mean you canât force yourself to be with someone if its not there but yes in truth you should step up and help him be the best father he can be. He loved supported and probably put up with pregnancy hormones and your body changing. You should step up maybe put someone else first
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You left him and you were already pregnant by someone else. You shouldnât be upset about what he did when you broke up with him. Youâd think youâd want him to take care of his child just like heâs taking care of your child you had with someone else.
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I fell into the exact situation with my ex. The only reason I donât regret staying is because we later had a beautiful daughter together. Past that, he was also a narcissist. We left when my daughter was 18 months old. He later stalked me and is back with the same girl as before.
Donât be afraid to want something better for yourself before you get even deeper. If you choose to leave, it will hurt, but you WILL heal. 
You will also find someone to love and care about you AND your child.
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He stepped up for you when you had your baby from another man, you canât step up when he has a baby with another woman?
It all boils down to if you love him and want to be with him. Forget the complicated baby situation and just think if you want HIM and there is your answer.
You guys were separated so itâs not like he cheated on you
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Self care is not selfish, hun. Donât let anyone tell you that you were selfish to go help yourself heal. 
Healing from trauma is not only great for you, but also your child, and anyone around you.
Some of these people are being way too harsh. You owe no one anything. Have a one on one conversation with him about your feelings and see where that leads you. Therapy taught me that hard truthful conversations are definitely worth it, no matter the outcome.
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I would just stay friends and take things slow. Worry about baby and nothing else
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Iâll be completely honest. If you canât be there and support him, like he did for you, then you need to go. Yâall were on a break. You werenât even together. Soooo, he didnât do anything wrong.
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This is pretty gross tbh yta. The double standard here is INSANE!
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If you donât take your petty behind to therapy⌠Thatâs just jealousy.
Itâs cool he stepped in for you but now for his bio child, you canât handle that.
I donât think you love him. I think you need to walk away from it all & heal yourself. Donât rush into something bc youâre lonely. It never ends well. You and him & the CHILDREN deserve happy, well adjusted parents & adults. Until you can do that, work on you. If after that time yâall get back together, cool.
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If I were in your shoes, I think I would be asking myself about why do I want this current crush in my life? Is it real love or is my emotions being driven by lonliness, ( rebound) or is it driven by fear? ⌠Fear of providing for self and baby? Or fear of not being able to find someone else because of now being a âpackage dealâ or depression? It sounds like you still need to do some soul searching. Then ask yourselfâŚdo you suppose he would be faithful to you, since he replaced you so quickly in your âbreak-upâ period? Watch his actions, rather than his words. Actions always speak louder than words. It will tell you how he places you in his life. Your first relationship went down in flames. Donât be too quick to enter into another one, without caution, by going on alot of assumptions. You could end up still single, and a parent of one more child or more.
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Iâm all about someone needing time to heal and be happy with themselves BUT it does seem like a pretty big double standard.
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Ooh man this is too muchâŚ
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It was you who wanted the break. You couldnât expect him to wait around for you. What if you had decided not to get back with him?. You canât keep people dangling on a piece of string forever. If you love him (not many men would take on a woman, pregnant by someone else). He sounds like a lovely man, get back with him and donât let him go. Decent men are very hard to find.
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Maybe you both need to walk away from each other and decide what you want/need in life, and most importantly - what is best for BOTH of the children since now there are two involved.
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Itâs ok for him to be there for you when your pregnant with another manâs baby but you donât want to be there for him when another girl of pregnant.
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Nah. Been there. Donât do it.
For one, you were on a break so the man did nothing wrong. Two he stepped up, he took care of you while you were pregnant and now that he has a baby on the way you canât do the sameâŚâŚ youâre selfish and should leave the man alone because he deserves better than you.
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Let him be with her let this go
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Thatâs so hard. I wouldnât put up with it how it was a break and right away he jumped the gun and slept with someone instead of using that time to fix himself and his issues. I feel heâs hanging that over ur head that he helped u while u were pregnant. Does he expect u to step up and be a step mom? Only u know what has to be done
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Heâs trying to leave the mother of his child for the mother of someone elseâs child? Who raised him and how was his own childhood? 
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Our opinion in this shouldnât matter. There is no right or wrong. You need to do whatever you feel is best for you and more so your baby.
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I donât even know why people bother posting in this group for helpful advice. Itâs full of bitter b*tches who love to tear other women down.
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Yes it absolutely makes you a bad person
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You should learn how to be alone. Jumping from one guy to the other is not healthy.
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In my opinion, and take it with a grain of salt, but, it wouldnât make you a bad person, but rather a shitty person. I mean, has the baby been born? Is it blood tested to be his? If you both love each other as you say, you will work it out. If after reflection you find you donât love him as much, then walk away. I would at least want to know if it was for sure his baby, before I made a decision. Itâs not like he cheated on you, if anything he has been a hell of a stand up guy.
So you have one set of standards for yourself and a higher one for him.
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Maybe you should have learnt to be on your own before jumping into another relationship, especially whist pregnant to another man⌠My gosh, I canât understand why some females just simply canât be aloneâŚ
You then have the audacity too ask for a break after he took on a role that wasnât even his âŚ
And then b!tch that your feelings got hurtâŚ
Mmhmmm
Girl bye, you guys were broken up for 5 months 
, got with him while pregnant with someone else baby, and now he got a baby on a way with someone else itâs a problem? You sound narcissistic your damn self. Leave that poor man alone.
There r so many blended families now , give him a chance. Ross Geller once said " we were on a break!" Lol
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I mean you left your ex and got right with someone else toâŚ
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Sounds like yâall should bite the bullet and start a poly relationship. That way both children have a father and both motherâs feel support.
If yâall are mature enough to think logically, that is whatâs best for both children.
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Leave, they are a family now wether intended or not, you owe him nothing, wish him well and start a new with your baby, you will meet someone new, You and your baby will always play second fiddle to his actual flesh and blood child, I would leave them to it, goodluck x
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Hell no I am good. Lol wouldnât do it!
Itâs really too bad you took a 5 month break is all I can say. Everything hinges on that break, for you nothing good came from itâŚ
Maybe the 5 month break was a sign from God to him and maybe he should listen.
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I think you know what to do⌠or you would not be asking⌠personally too much drama with another baby mamma⌠focus on yourself and your babyâŚ
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His responsibility now is to his baby and the mother of that baby. You said you took the break for you, how is he to know that it was just to heal from your past relationship or if thatâs an excuse you used. Being upset or mad that he slept with someone else after you put a stop and the hold on your relationship is very unfair. Doesnât matter if you went out and slept around or not the fact is you stopped the relationship and put it on hold. It isnât fair to say hey I want to put something on hold for me but you also have to just be put on hold until I decide when itâs time to take you off hold. Let him go and let him be the father to his bio child.
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You broke up with him, he slept with another person while yâall were split up, yâall got back together, the girl was pregnant from during your split up. Sounds like you are just trying to make this about you. That is no reason to leave if you really love him. Sounds like you are just upset it wonât all be about you.
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That is all kinds of complicated, Iâd find out who she is and have a chat to her, see if they planned the pregnancy and if they are still in a relationship, before choosing how to go forward, youâll be co parenting with her, so I think meeting her is not off limits.
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I can see why youâre hurt but now you have 2 little babies to love on (if she ainât crazy)! It takes a village. He clearly loves you and respects you or he would have hidden it! Best of luck to yaâll 
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No,you should fellow your heartâŚ.
Do you want to leave? Thatâs the only question you need answered and the only person that can answer it is you.
He stood by you and he didnât cheat you werenât together. Give him a chance he hasnât actually done anything wrong.
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Stay with him and stand by him. He did for you. Yaâll wasnât together when this happened.
Life is short - do whatever makes you happy.
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He took in another manâs child and claimed as his own, you guys broke up for 5 months he tried moving on but you guys got back together and now someone else is having his child, sounds like hypocrisy to me . But if you cannot give him the same respect he gave you and your child than I suggest you leave.
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If you feel itâs best to walk away from this relationship thatâs what you should do. Donât try and force it.
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You were on a break⌠
The age old statement thatâs meant to make whatever happened during it, ok. Itâs unfortunate that he got someone pregnant. But he wants to be with you. Do you want him? You told him you wanted a break⌠He didnât really do wrong by you. It hurts because his first child is with someone else and not you. The answer is whether or not you can deal with that.
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It never makes you a bad person to put yourself first. Always. And if thereâs kids involved⌠uffda. Thereâs no right or wrong. You have one life⌠be happy no matter what. You donât owe anyone anything.
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Is nice that heâs taking accountability and showing heâll be a good dad
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You left him so he found someone else and now you are upset with him and donât want to be with him cause he didnât lock himself in a box and wait hoping you would change your mind and want to be with him I can understand leaving the relationship for your own mental health so that you could heel but I canât understand being upset with him he didnât do anything wrong by sleeping with other people yous were not together so that made him free to do as he pleased. If you feel resentment towards him about his baby then do him a favor and walk away now. He sounds like an amazing man not to many men will have a relationship and step into the roll as daddy with a women thatâs pregnant by another man so let him find someone that can fully except him and his child
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It literally doesnât matter if youâre wrong for how you feel. Donât stay knowing you want to leave. Itâs easier to be a step dad to a baby whose father doesnât seem to be involved than it is to be a stepmom with a very involved mother who may not want you anywhere in the picture. Youâre hurt by this, youâre not going to be able to stick around long in the future when things start getting complicated, so go now.
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He stepped up and took responsibility for another manâs baby. You left him and he knocked someone up. You two werenât together. Could he have been more responsible? Yes. Could you have made it clear you werenât healed in the beginning? Yes. If you love him then do what he did for you, stand by him. You expected him to sit and wait incase you wanted to get back together? Thatâs not how that works. As long as he lets this other girl know he donât want to be with her but heâll help take care of the baby ( please get a dna test to make sure) then heâs doing the right thing.
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Yes, this would make you a hypocrite if you walked away. I suspect that you donât like the fact that thereâs going to be the babyâs mother involved I think thatâs where your jealousy is coming from because you are not sure if heâs going to develop an emotional connection with the babyâs mother. If you truly canât handle this though I would say walk away and let him see the baby.
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Quite a remarkable man, to stand by you and yours and his. You would be a fool to let a gem like that go. Keep him and help him.
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He sounds like a responsible, honest and very committed person. You werenât together, his behaviour isnât at fault and heâs done nothing but be mature about the whole situation
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Idk if I loved someone I wouldnât of left them and if I still needed healing I had no business entering another relationship.
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Honestly, you canât be mad at him for being with someone else while yâall were split. But that being said you also donât owe him anything. If you want to be done with him, you can and it wouldnât be wrong of you to walk away. If you feel some sort of way, then do what you feel is right but know you do not owe him yourself just because he was there during a difficult time. That isnât the foundation of a healthy relationship (being with him because you feel like you owe it to him).
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You feel the way you feel. If you donât want to stay then donât. I wouldnât even listen to half these girls. Talking about being a hypocrite or stay Bc he stayed for you. It doesnât matter the situation, if you donât want to stay then donât. These girls stay with anyone lol. If you arenât comfortable with the situation then it is completely fine for YOU TO DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY. regardless of the situation.
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You were only on a break for 5 mths and he already moved on enough to get someone else pregnant??? Thatâs a tough one for sure.
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You can work through this. He was there for you. Youâll have to be there for his baby too, but what matters is he wants to be with you. Heâs bonded to your child. Listen to your heart in this one. 
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He stepped up for another mans baby and you canât be supportive? Youâre a hypocrite if you walk away.
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It would be selfish of you
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I think because he knew you were pregnant when you got with him and he decided to step up and be with you anyways is good on him. However that doesnât mean you have to stick around for him. If you donât feel comfortable with the situation it would be in best interest for both of you if you let him go. If you canât give him what he needs and vice versa the relationship isnât going to work nor will it be healthy.
He needs to be there for his child now .
Shouldnât have took that break in the first place imo
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A break is a break. As long as heâs faithful while together, let it go
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WALK AWAY. Itâs already obvious you resent him and you WILL resent the baby, which would eventually be your step child. For his sake, and the babyâs sake please walk away. If you choose to stick with him, do it out of love, not obligation, and for the sake of all kids involved, get counselling to sort your sh** out.
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girl do not listen to these folks him being there for you was comfortable for him. but if you being in that situation isnât comfortable for you then you donât have to stay. donât do anything you donât want to.
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Donât feel obligated
I guess that depends why youâre hurt. Are you hurt because he was with someone else while you were broken up? You chose to break up with himâŚcanât have your cake and eat it too. Or are you hurt because now there is another child in the picture? I think regardless, the fact that you are feeling hesitant shows that you need to be single and continue working through your own issues. And if you guys are meant to be together, youâll meet up in the future.
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Just stop playing games honestly just stop!.
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