So my sister in law doesn’t want to step up and except all the responsibility’s of being a mom (says she feels trapped like she cant do any thing) her daughter is constantly being shuffled between her grandma’s and great grandmas she has gone through problems where she dropped baby because she was “to tired” and then a time where she layed her down for her nap still in her winter coat and every thing because she was “to tired” we have 3 kids already and would welcome her with open arms the problem is that she wont sign her rights over mind you she is a little girl constantly being around the random guys she has a new one each week that are goth creeps that have dark pasts she ends up finding out about latter around her daughter i just want to know if theres any way for me to get custody of her daughter to give her a better life other than trying to convince said sister in law that her daughter is better off in our stable home (im a stay at home mom making sure my kids get every thing they need)
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Am I able to gain custody of my sister-in-laws child?
Girl u should go for it get that child out of that toxic home before something bad happens to the child due to neglect from the mom
You might need children services involved
You would have to hire a lawyer and spend thousands of dollars, and prove she was unfit. It is highly unlikely
I’d contact child services. Then get a lawyer.
You can ask her to sign over temporary custody if you just want to help or you can offer to take full custody.
You honestly need to talk to a lawyer to see what options you have. It’s not so cut and dry.
Why do unfit parents who aren’t ready for parenthood never want to sign over their rights…I just don’t get it. They’d rather struggle, be angry & neglectful than have the freedom they clearly desire Good luck
You can’t just take someone’s kid, who do you think you are, the Canadian government
Call children’s aid and step in at that point If the need is there
This makes me so sad for that child. What if you asked her to sign a temporary guardianship and see how things go?
I’d sit down and chat with her and let her know what she’s doing and risking etc. And what could potentially happen. Amd maybe your sister in law needs to talk to social worker sounds. Like she might have some other health issues.
Yup, just go straight to the courts. Unfortunately CPS needs to be involved and ithers need to tell their sides of the story. But once all is figured out, n can provide custody with visual, should be able to get them. But you need proof of the actions you will be providing of why. But good luck for the kids well being.
File for a SAPCR (Suit Affecting Parent Child Relationship) It’ll handle parent and non parent petitions for child’s custody.
Girl what the actual Fxck, you’d hate to be my sil cause gone head try to take my baby call Dcf about the dude shit though, no reason for that but girl you’re crossing and you need to sit yaself right on down and tend to your OWN .
You can report to DSS and take kinship custody of her.
You have to prove she’s unfit. So start getting your screenshots and recordings. Also check your states laws for recording other people laws.
You can start by filing for emergency custody explaining the said circumstances since you are able to provide a stable home…My friend did that with her nephew. She’s had custody ever since going on a few yrs now and he graduates this week from HS. Her situation is very similar to yours. Unstable environment, random men her sister would have around plus more. Good Luck and I pray it works out and that lil girl can grow happy and healthy.
Try helping her first instead of trying to take her kid
She has 2 b willing 2 sign off on her rights as her mother in order 4 u 2 do that
Regardless who she has her kid around unless you can prove her unfit the child will stay with the Mom…
Maybe she has Post Partum. Not to mention she’s a first time mom and I will be honest with you, I was VERY overwhelmed with my first child. I was tired ALL the time and I’m sure I made a couple mistakes. I’m sorry but maybe see how you can help instead of wanting to take her child away from her. And if you are concerned for the baby’s safety then yes, I would recommend calling children’s services. If they do want to remove the baby from her, you can be part of a safety plan or could be granted temporary custody.
You can’t, Where’s the dad, you need to contact him, paternity has to be established, he has to be notified they both have to give up custody. What makes a better parent, are you doing this for financial reasons, do you have a HUSBAND? not a live in boyfriend, that could just walk away at anytime…what does the other person think, why is your partner not mentioned here…that is a red flag that this is all about what YOU WANT…
Or you could offer to help her…instead of just wanting to take her child away from her.
If you are serious, then document everything so you will have proof.
Only way is to report her for child neglect and take kinship
Do guardianship DO NOT CALL CPS i despise all of you that said to that. You don’t understand cps makes your child a dollar amount. Jesus people look up title IV-E it says children must be removed from the home for the state to get federal funding. Why do you think children go missing all the damn time.
If she calls cps they could make up a reason to not give you her or to take her away. Also if they are in your life and something happens to her or your children anything at all it can be stupid and they come and take all your kids, why because children are $ to CPS.
Don’t believe me, that’s ok its why i have a job advocating for these poor children.
I had to do the same with my daughter, however we didnt terminate rights. We filed for allocation of parental rights, u would have guardianship of the child and all responsibilities as a parent. I have had my grandson for 5yrs now cause she will not get it together.
File for guardianship
You can’t just take someone’s baby away from them.
It sounds like she may have postpartum depression (which does not look the same for everyone) and instead of being offered help that she obviously needs she’s being judged and now going to try to be convinced to give her child away.
If she falls asleep with her coat still on maybe she really is exhausted. Is she working 2 jobs to support that kid? Maybe you can babysit full time instead of the child going between 2 grandparents for starters and the grandparents can babysit for date nights. Childcare is expensive and a lot of times it is more than a persons income if they are in an entry level job. Sounds like the mom needs support… swooping in to take her child should be a last resort.
Just call your local CPS and see what they think.
So instead of helping. We just take people’s kids now.
Her mother and grandmother are helping her, while you want to take her child… You’d have to stand in line behind those women for any claim, not to mention the father and his family as you’re not blood… She’s telling you she’s tired, is she depressed, does she need help? If your real concern is the child then maybe help her get help.
Document, pictures, and open a case on her
She’s tired and likely has PPD and your first instinct is to try to take the baby away instead of offering to help? No wonder she doesn’t want you around. You’re not going to get her baby regardless, she’d make sure one of the grandma’s had custody and I don’t blame her. You’re a walking red flag. You don’t actually seem concerned about the baby, seems like you just want to tell everyone how much of a better mom you are.
Would she be willing to agree to you having guardianship? Then you have all the responsibility, but she still maintains her parental rights as well.
You can apply for emergency foster status & have cps investigated if she won’t sign over her rights.
If she gets benefits she may not want to because she would lose them if you took the child.
Also if you have the child for a certain amount of time you can claim she abandoned it.
If it’s your sister in law, where is your brother?
File a court order . Talk to a family lawyer
Maybe she’s TIRED and needs help. Why not help her by offering to watch the child sometimes? Sounds to me like you think you’re a perfect mom and because she’s struggling then you feel like you should have a right to this said child.
If child is in danger you need to report it. Then if they find cause child will be removed and family is first choice to take child.
Its unlikely. You cant just take people to court. And honestly it sounds like she may have some postpartum going on and it’s truly sad that youd rather prey on her and her baby than help her. Have you ever just stopped and asked her if thetes anything you can do to help her help herself?? And you said child goes from grandparents to grandparents which means theyd get child more than likely before you.
I mean you could try cps but from the sounds of it they wouldn’t find the living situation unfit and would probably do nothing. There’s not a lot you can do unless you can prove child abuse
You cant just take someone’s kid because you feel like you’d be a better parent. It doesnt work that way.
She needs help, not kicking while she is down!! Christ.
Have you ever been so tired it hurts to ask for help ? Or felt like you’re not enough you’d like comfort yourself ? Rather than try take her child maybe ask if you can help because if she’s feeling like the worst mother in the world you doing this is really not gonna help
I’m not sure what I just read, but help her instead of trying to destroy her! Offer to babysit and recommend she seeks medical attention. Stop judging and LOVE her. This world is so f-ing ugly and I can’t stand it.
Apply for emergency custody
That child is in danger!!
HONESTLY this isn’t abuse or neglect so CPS nor a judge would take the baby away. She isn’t harming the baby. Introducing her to random guys isn’t good but not illegal. As long as the baby is fed and clothed and not abused or neglected and the house is clean there’s nothing you can do. You can’t just take someone else’s kid cause you don’t like how she’s raised.
There is something called temporary guardianship. Perhaps that would be more reasonable to offer. But you have to know that regardless of you probably being what’s best for the baby, you will probably get your heart broken in the end. But perhaps you can help provide a stable start in life. If I were you I would approach to the mother and say we see that you’re tired all the time and we want to give baby the most stable environment and we also want you to have the opportunity to get your life in order and figure things out. But if we took temporary guardianship and arranged a written down visitation schedule so that you can always be around for her but that you don’t feel overwhelmed. Tell her that she can use this time to go back to school or get a better job or do whatever it is that she feels she needs to do. Make sure you continue to call yourself the aunt and not the mom. If she willingly gives you temporary guardianship and she doesn’t turn her life around and let’s say one or two years you could go to the court and say I’ve had this temporary guardianship she’s not made any progress and I’m interested in a permanent filing for custody. if you try to do something behind her back like report for the children’s services she will probably cut you out all together. Enter into it as an offer to help her and the baby with no judgment just say it’s fine I’m already used to it I already have kids it’s not that big a deal I just love you guys and want to help and we’ll just sign it as temporary. Make sure if it happens you document every single visitation when she came how long she stayed what she did with the baby the babies condition if she took her out and returned her. Also visitations that she missed. Etc hopefully she is just an overwhelmed young mother and will get her life in order. In the meantime if you consider yourself the aunt and not the mom the baby can receive all the love and grow up very close to you and the cousins but also still know who her mom is so she’s not traumatized later on
Screw you lady.
Maybe offer to help her instead of swooping in trying to take her kid. If she is young as you say then this is likely hard on her and it doesn’t sound as if the father is present. Also assuming goth kids are all dark pasts and bad is ignorant, stop.
I see it’s your sister in law….which probably means your brother is the father.
I think the real question is….why aren’t you holding your own brother accountable too?!
He’s just as responsible as she is! Maybe you’ve forgotten!
Maybe let her know you’re willing to watch the baby for free so she can nap, run errands, work etc. A helping hand goes a long way sometimes. Having support from another busy mom might help her get on her feet. If things keep spiraling, get your license to foster then speak with her grandparents about what they think.
She’s too tired to take care of her own child but not too tired to bring guys in and out of the house?? Hmm.
Talk to her and tell her that you want to help her out and take care of the little girl. Talk to the grandmas and see how they feel about constantly taking care of the little girl and offer to help them out too. Talk to a lawyer, see what your options are.
Why isn’t your brother stepping up?
Why can’t you just offer her some help? Why can’t you show her how to be a good mum it’s her first baby and it is extremely tiring being a new mum and it is lonely you really can’t do anything she’s probably got depression and feeling overwhelmed. I know first hand how she would be feeling. I’m glad she has grandparents to help her out. Imagine being a first time mum and being so exhausted and having your sister in-law judging you and trying to take your baby away.
You would have to prove that she is not capable of being a parent. That poor baby. I’ll admit, you had me invested in this post and on your side until you called them “goth creeps”. I have a lot of goth friends and that really just wasn’t cool at all. A lot of people have things in their past theyre embarrassed of, myself included. But it doesn’t make us bad people. Have you tried offering to just help her out? You have kids yourself, you know how tiring it can be. Offer to keep her for a few hours so she can catch up on her sleep. Keep her for a day and let her clean her house.
Child protective services is a joke and will not help that baby out until something has already been done to her😭￼
No you can’t. I’ve been too tired to want to undress my kids out of their coats because i knew it would wake them. Put a fan on us and we napped. No harm done. None of what you said is proving her to be unfit so no you can’t just take someone else’s kid just because you don’t like their lifestyle. You sound crazy and i wouldn’t allow my child to be around you.
If you can prove all that you have stated, about her and prove the stability of yourself, then, it is very possible, that you could get custody…but, if she’s not wanting to sign her over to you, willingly, then it may cause some family issues.
Girl bye water your own grass and don’t worry how green someone else’s is… someone better tell your sisterlaw about youu
Offer help. She’s obviously an exhausted overwhelmed new mom. Don’t judge her for having a life outside of motherhood. Tell her you’ll watch the baby twice a week so she can have time to herself I’m sure she’d appreciate that rather than you trying to take custody. She could definitely be dealing with PPD as well
Why not care for the child when you can without the mother signing her rights away? If you truly cared for the child , you would care for her without a ‘title.’
Try asking your sister if you can assist by helping her look after the child to give her a break, hopefully she will accept your help and see if things improve for her, wishing you all the very best going forward
Pretty sure you can file and emergency custody order of some kind. I would call the court house & ask what you can do & what to file.
Goth creeps…screw you! Some of the best people I know are “goth creeps”
My cousin adopted her niece because the mom and mom’s BF was abusive to the child
Cps isn’t going to help and you’re not going to get a judge to side with you just ask to keep the girl as much as possible, if she thinks you’re trying to take her baby she’s not going to allow you to watch her
Yup! Go to court and petition
what i would do is - talk to a lawyer about this first - and find out your legal rights and the child’s ! somehow get proof of what your saying and give to lawyer! this way when going for the child u and husband can legally adopt the child from this home!
Ok…so I am familiar with this situation. No. You cannot just take that child and raise it because “you are a better mom.” Mom has the right to have the child around random strangers if she wants. As long as they aren’t doing illegal activities. My child has actually taken a nap in a coat. That’s not neglect. Sounds like your sister in law needs your support and guidance. Not have her child taken.
Ask for guardianship, not for her to sign up for rights. That still mean she’s her mother. It just means that you can care for her
Nope. To gain custody you would have to gave the rights of both biological parents removed, and that is not easy. You do not have ANY legal rights to this child. No court or going to give you any kind of custody without CPS being involved for drugs, abuse, or severe neglect. Period.
Being a mom is exhausting. It can feel like you’re trapped sometimes. She’s being honest. Maybe offer help instead of judgement. Or mind your own business. Maybe she’s being shuffled around Bc those people recognize mom needs a minute. There is nothing wrong with that. And no, you can’t just take someone else’s kid Bc you feel like you’d be a better mom.
People take advice from people who are close to them. Try building a friendship with out judging her and offering some advice or even just your time as a friend. Leave your JUDGEMENT out of it… Comments like “goth freaks” probably won’t make her feel too close to you. It’s unnecessary and ugly.
If she will give you legal guardianship, she won’t have to sign away parental rights, but if she wants her back later, she would have to prove to the court that the child is better off with her than with you and chances are she won’t be. Good luck.
Instead of fully adopting try asking if she will let you be parental guardians, then you can do anything needed including official stuff like doctors appointments, schooling when she’s old enough, etc, but mom still has custody technically. Then tell her you’ll be a permanent home or drop off spot and she can come see her daughter whenever she wants or drop off whenever she wants.
You do not need her to sign over her rights to you to do right by this child. Try and find ways to help her and her baby. You can help protect her and care for her without a judge…
Sounds like you want another baby not to “help” her or the child
The amount of people on here willing to advocate taking another woman’s baby off the word of this lady posting is disgusting. There are many things you could do before trying to take her baby. Maybe offer to be a full time babysitter since you seem to take issue with her “shuffling” the baby around between her grandparents, which i don’t understand what the issues is with that. Not everyone has the luxury of being a stay at home mom. She could very well have PPD but you wanna steal her baby because you think you’re a better mom??? There’s so much more i have to say on this issue but i can’t even allow myself to go there with you.
If you truly care about the baby start with helping the mother.
For the rest of you that heard one side of a story and jumped on telling this woman to call CPS and steal another woman’s baby YOU ARE TERRIBLE PEOPLE and i honestly think you are whats wrong with this world.
Unless CPS takes the child or she is willing I don’t thank there are many options
Let her know that she can come and see her daughter and spend time with her but set rules for it once she agrees and she knows this all…
she can come over after she calls or texts to make sure y’all are home and she’s able to come over to see her daughter.
don’t be a no show for months/years or no seeing daughter…set a time frame that will help with her seeing her daughter still.
And anything else you want to put in as a rule… example: if she does drugs she can’t have them for 6-12-24 hours prior to seeing her daughter.
Good luck! I have no other advice then that. That’s what I would do if I was in your place.
This post is disgusting
You can try. But most likely no unless she’s doing something incredibly dangerous. The court will assign her parenting classes or something and then you’ll have burned the bridge with her.
I’d just ask to keep her as much as possible.
Also, goth people are not creeps. That was unnecessary. Being goth doesn’t make someone dangerous to bring around a child.
The bad past? That can make someone a creep.
First of all goth is not creepy. And you can ask to take her without custody.
Freaking help her out. Ya the men I don’t agree withe very week but cps/cas ain’t gonna do a damn thing about that. If I found out my sister in law was trying to take my kids when maybe I’m just needing extra help, maybe mental health is kicking her the butt right now.
I must say Im surprised how the number of people who are critical of the Poster, telling her to “help” more. WOW… did any of those people actually read the description of the child’s life… being dropped off with Grandma and Great Grandma… Mom’s “man of the week” revolving door…
Grandma and Great Grandma are helping.
Maybe she needs to focus on working and being a good mom.
Maybe she needs to stop chasing men, a new one every week.
Funny, how she’s not “too tired” to “date” a new creepy guy every week but “too tired” to spend time with and care for her daughter
Maybe she needs to get herself and her child to therapy.
My advice is if possible be there for the child when you can and if you can.
Your primary responsibility, first and foremost, are to your own children.
If you see something neglectful or abusive, call the police and Child Protective Services.
Document each incident you witness with a written description include date and time and any other people present.
God Bless you and yours.
I wish you, your family and the child well.
Ah so no other mothers have ever struggled… try communicating and speaking to her. Find out if she is struggling - how you can help… is she suffering from pnd? This can manifest in many ways. Let’s hope no one else here struggles and is judged for it - without anyone else reaching out for support
I don’t see any signs of abuse. 1. There is nothing abusive about visiting grandmas/great grandparents. 2. The jacket isn’t a red flag, every parent makes mistakes and so do you. 3. Just because she is parenting differently doesn’t mean your way is the only right way. 4. Goth creeps? Seriously? Grow up. 5. She has the right to bring anyone around her child, good idea or not. It is not your place to judge who she brings around. 6. Unless this child is not being cared for in the emotional and physical sense then no you have no grounds. 7. As a stay at home mom get off your high horse of “I make sure my kids get what they need as a stay at home”. Not every parent can be a stay at home, some working parents are better parents than stay at homes. 8. If you are so concerned with the child’s wellbeing make a phone call to CPS, or offer to help her. She sounds like the is overwhelmed and needs help and support not a kick in the back. BUT just because she might be overwhelmed doesnt mean she deserves to have her kid taken by some righteous prick like you. I say this because your trying to force this kid away instead of help.
Are you really asking how you can take someone’s child without their consent. You lost your mind and obliviously have to much ego. You are no better than her. You are the creep.
So start offering to help by having her come stay with you here & there to ease the burden, as she is obviously going through something in her life, maybe depression. Why are you wanting to completely strip her of her child? You sound like a narcissist, cutting other people down because of their differences & praising yourself for being a stay at home mom & blah blah blah, such a perfect parent Are you suureee the child would thrive in your care
Yikes. Sounds like this woman needs to take her child and go far, far away from you.
None of what you have said is proof of abuse or neglect. So the mom is tired? Okay, what mom isn’t tired? She has people around her daughter, so what? What exactly is a “goth creep” with a bad past? She sounds like she is struggling with some depression and probably feels isolated. That is no reason to take her baby away from her. If she is not going to give up her parental rights willingly, it’s because she loves her daughter and does not want to. Idk why you believe you are so superior to this woman, but I think you need to work on that complex. Unless there is a ton of information you haven’t shared that would be actual evidence of abuse and neglect then you just sound bitter and judgemental.
Is the dad in the picture?
Where is the father ? Would that father be your your husband’s brother or your brother since you said she is your sister in law. What happened to family helping family ? Instead of trying to separate this child from her mother please try to help this mother be the best mother she can be by reaching out to help her. Good luck.
Why should she sign over her child to you? I could see her temporarily giving you guardianship if she felt she couldn’t take care of baby(until she matured)But signing over her rights? That’s ridiculous! You stated your SIL. Unless the baby is being mistreated, malnourished or neglected , shouldn’t your husband be the one handling a situation like this? I’m guessing it’s his sister?