My mom watches my kids when I work. Always has and even when my oldest would go stay the night with her I knew I have nothing to worry about. She has never and will never go against what I say. These are my kids to raise how I see fit and she stands by that so no I don’t think you’re being a momzilla. You are being a mother. Period.
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Think of all the cons that will out weigh the pros in daycare… I can guarantee no one there will love your baby like grandma will. Chances of the baby getting sick more often in day care are greater…. I could go on and on. Give your mom a chance to get on track with everything.
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Even when you put her in daycare they are going to do as they please and have her own there schedule I think you are being a bit over dramatic you should appreciate the free help
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Idk whats so funny or why people laugh react. You abso are not in the wrong. Gparents think they have free reign over our kids and can do whatever they want then OUR schedules with the kids are messed up
Wow. These comments are so harsh. It’s hard no matter what choice you make. Hugs to you mama.
I would move out and take the baby to a small in-home daycare…and, please, give that baby a bath EVERY day.
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Routine is important but its not the end of the world if a baby misses a bath. I know things have changed dramatically over the years but honestly…babies still needs the same love and care they always did and our age group did manage to raise our babies .
Time to sit your mum down and talk properly. Decide what is really important to you and let go the rest. If your child is fed, warm , safe and loved…pick your battles. Dont destroy your relationship with your mom over childcare .
Childcare is not going to follow your rules and will probably be worse than anything your mom can ever do.
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If I were you I would take the free child care and just focus on all your rules when your taking care of baby there is a difference between neglectful child care you would know and she probably wouldn’t be taking care of your child even if you bring her to daycare your not in control of what they do don’t burn your bridges because caring for a child is exhausting
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You’re overbearing. Let your mom and child have their own thing, she can do things you don’t and you’ll do things she don’t. That child deserves a special relationship with your mom and unless the baby is in danger it’s nothing to worry about. Stop trying to control every move. Also, a day care wouldn’t care at all what you want. There’s so many kids there they’ll get to your child when they do and do things their way. You do what you do when the baby is with you and let your mother be a grandmother. You’re so blindsided by controlling everything that you’re not grateful or appreciating all the love your baby gets.
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Yes, she is watching her for free, it’s not an easy task taking care of newborn all day, if you can afford it put her in daycare but don’t expect daycare to do what you say. To start you can split the days and let your mom watch her for couple days a week and daycare for couple days a week.
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Day care won’t follow what you want. Let your mom be grandma and do her thing. What I would have givin to have a full time babysitter so I can get a better job!
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Let me tell ya…when I had my first child I lived at home with my mom, for the first 3 months of his life. She helped me so much with that little boy! I was appreciative of everything she did for us. I didn’t gaf if she followed my routines or did anything the way I did. She is his grandmother not mother she managed to raise 2 children to adult hood who didn’t require any type of therapy, jail, drugs, we are healthy productive adults so obviously she did something right at being a teen mom at the same time… My mom gave that Lil boy so much love and attention no stranger could match and still spoils him rotten almost 16yrs later. So point blank if you don’t like what she does with YOUR baby move out with YOUR baby…put YOUR baby in daycare. Y’all are not her responsibility.
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If it’s affordable for you, put her in daycare and get yourself a place of your own.
Okay so im 26 aswell, i have a 7 year old, 2 year old and a 9 week old…
I absolutely see your side because ive been there but also, if you dont want to raise your child the same way you were raised, id suggest daycare. Youve literally put bub in the care of the person who raised you. Theyll do whatever they did with you in raising you.
Im not going to say, be grateful for the free care. Because its not free is it? Its costing your relationship with your mother, your mental health in regards to stress and anxiety. You arent coping with this arrangement.
Research daycares. Put bub in one. And if its affordable, move out. Will do you wonders and will leave your mum to be the grandma she is and spoil bub upon visits.
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I get wanting the baby to have a routine… this was a big thing for me too. But, your sweet mama is keeping your child for free AND letting you both live in her house. I’d say she is doing just fine with that baby.
You should give the baby a bath while you’re home. Don’t let something as minimal as this ruin the relationship that you have with your mother. It’s not worth it.
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I think that there are things you need to weigh out…pros and cons… daycare will be worse for other reasons. At least it’s your mom and she’s willing to watch her. As long as she is making sure she’s thriving and safe, feeding her when she needs to, etc. Having accidents occasionally isn’t reason to have mom stop watching her. Does mom really want to watch her? Maybe ask her if she wants baby to go to daycare.
for free and you feel this way, Wow what do you pay for rent and food?? If you don’t like move out and get a place and sitter of your own Wow
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I think you are … probably not meaning too but you are. Daycare people are at a job and do not love your child the same way their grandma/family would and they certainly aren’t going to follow your schedule the way you want them too. A schedule should be a guideline and shouldn’t be so strict… the world is not going to stop turning if she doesn’t have a bath on Tuesday at 8pm or if she has a soggy diaper. Your mom should try to get close to your schedule but it sounds to me like you should be really grateful your mom is helping and cut her some slack.
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You could try moving out and raising your own family in your own house. Geez
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Try writing notes and a schedule on the fridge or something to help if you havent already. Maybe she’s just forgetting things.
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Here’s an idea, raise your own kid.
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I think this is very common with new moms and grandparents. I had my mil taking care of my first when I had to go back to work and she didn’t follow all my rules… but at the end of the day she had one on one interaction with her grandmother. No mom likes to be told they aren’t doing a good job… it is what it is. I think overall you need to look at the positive side of these situations instead of the negative. It’s hard too because I know your missing your babes and possibly even a little jealous your mom is getting all this time with your baby while you’re stuck at work… either way, emotions are very high right now and the best thing to do is to try to start letting things go. Missing a bath isn’t the end of the world, you wipe them with every change and I’m sure after every feeding and can postpone a day or two on a bath. We parents who get the chance to have a family member watch our children for us should consider ourselves lucky we don’t have to deal with daycares(in most situations).
Daycare is going to cost you a ton of money and won’t follow all your rules, they’re going to do things with the schedule they’ve gone up with. Doesn’t seem worth switching unless you really can’t get along with mom.
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Simple if you don’t like what your mom does so you don’t have to pay for daycare and work then pay for daycare
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Just let it be, your mother is helping you out tremendously!!!
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Hugs sweetie do what you feel like you should do yo are the Mom!! 
Trust me, the daycare prices are not worth it and your child is getting better care with grandma. Youre a new first time mom and little things are going to feel huge to you. Give your momma some grace. It’s almost impossible to get and keep a 2 month old on a schedule. It may work for a week or two or maybe a month but it won’t last. I think you both need to be a little more yielding to each other.
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Daycare is not going to bath your baby and honestly it shouldnt be put on your mom either. I mean you can always ask whatever you want but you shouldn’t be expecting that imo. That is the parents job. I do think the feeding schedule should be kept up on especially if the baby has low birth weight that is still being corrected. Also think diapers should always be checked regardless of what communication went on. You oretty much can look at a baby and tell when a diaper is over full. Now, these are not things i would just up and send my kid to daycare for. Your kid is just another kid at day care where as though at home with your mom they are family and very much loved. That alone is a big deal. My suggestion would be to pick your battles. If it isnt something that is actually hurting your baby or dangerous i would try to let it go. Otherwise ask for a house meeting like an adult and have everyone sit down together. Explain how much you appreciate everything they do and how much love there is but that as a new mommy some things are really bothering you and causing you to have anxiety. Let her know that it isnt that you dont trust her but that everyone has their own ways they would like their babies taken care of and what makes them feel comfortable and you would really appreciate if they could work with you a little more on those areas. But PICK YOUR BATTLES. If your overly nitpicky its gonna go in one ear and out the other. They are gonna have their own ways of doing things, anyone would, including daycare. So only bring up what it absolutely important and something you dont feel you could live with. Good luck.
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Daycare won’t give your baby a bath unless they crap all over themselves and sometimes not even then. They will leave your baby alone most of the time because they have other active kids to run after. I never put my kids in daycare. Too many stories of abuse and neglect in them. Daycare also will not follow any schedule you have because they will do whatever works for them. So, suck it up with your mom or pay a thousand a month and your baby will be neglected.
How about being grateful and you making sure to bathe and change diapers etc. She is helping you. The bond that she and Granma will have is better than your stress. She might not do it right to the dot but she loves your baby enough to do it for free. If you want to be specific pay her.
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Girl, I say this in the kindest way. Hormones are still in full force. What seems little to someone and is genuinely little will be the end of the world to you. I would cut mom some slack bc yes she raised you but it’s been a hot minute since you were a baby. She’s adjusting too! Be kind and give each other some grace.
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No one is gonna take care of your child like you would, I understand you want certain things done and as a parent you can do those things but you can not expect your mom to listen to you in this way. Sure she will listen but not always agree with your method, what she used to raise her two kids worked for her and I’m sure she has learned from of her own mistakes, plus it sounds as if your mom (who is older which probably makes her more tired) also has a job outside of the home as well, cut your mom some slack, take this time to work on yourself with makin and savin as much money as possible so that you can get your own place and move out, your child is young right now and flexible when it comes to schedules but I understand the structure a schedule can make specially in an older child. So take a breath, work on bettering yourself so that at grandmas house your child can miss bath time or their schedule can be slightly off, allow grandma to be grandma and not the parent, the child will learn the rules for each house. Good luck sweetie
Wow…I think you’re expecting way too much from your mother. Sure, go ahead and pay to put her in daycare with a stranger, see how well that works. Also, 2 month olds don’t have a schedule, and a daycare is going to literally plop the kid in a swing all day.
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When the grandmother acts like the mom, its time for daycare or other arrangements. My mom did this. My son is now 27 and she has overstepped her bounds sooooo many times. If I told him the sky was blue, she had to tell him the shade of blue.
I’ve been in all 3 situations. The mom, they daycare owner, and the grandparent. Mom is always thinking by the books and schedules. Daycare has their own schedule. You send a list of times, feeding, napping…etc. Daycare has all kids set to DAYCARE schedules. (Jonny doesn’t nap and he is 3 and hyperactive. Alice is 2 and she naps 12:1-30 and light sleeper. Sara has snack at 2 then naps 2:30-4.) Hardly. Dinner at 11:30-12. EVERYONE even Jonny takes a nap at 12-1:30.
And Daycare makes one dinner and one snack. We are not a restaurant when you get a menu to pick from 10 items. You eat what’s on your plate.
Now gma on the other hand maybe doesn’t follow YOUR schedules. If she is good hearted and has best interests in safety for her little blessing, doing it for free out of love and trying to make your life easier, and your mad going to work and pissed because she doesn’t follow YOUR schedule??? Are you serious? Why should she change her day and her schedule to be controlled by you and your demands? I do raise one grandson and I watched my other grandson for free while my other daughter worked and she was great full. Had she handed me a daily chart of dos and don’ts, I’d have told her to shove it up her hind end. If you don’t trust your own mom, then pay someone else to boss around. I’ve raised my kids. Now I have my own schedule so if I’m gma, I’m going to live my life and take my littles I watch, and live my life, and do things I need to do in the day. Not sit home and follow your to do list.
That being said, I will follow some things like if a mom doesn’t want kids eating candy, pop vs milk etc…I can understand a healthy diet while young.
I guess in my eyes…my house my rules. Respect them or go find your own house and set rules there. But don’t think your gonna live in MY home and get free childcare and run my house…my daughter would be out. You can do it better, so go do it. Knock yourself out. No hard feelings.
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Gma here. Whenever I watch any of my grandkids, I do my best to follow the parents’ preferences. I watch the kids so I can be with them and also to support the parents in raising their children. It’s a shame this gma is not open minded to follow her daughters request but as most have said, I would accept how gma chooses to babysit over putting my child in daycare. One on one attention and . I assume gma is babysitting for free …that is an amazing gift
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I am the Gma who watched one of my grand daughters while her Mommy and Daddy worked. The give me a list of things they wanted done, her schedule, etc. about a week before Mommy went back to work. I set up a time and went to their house to talk to them as to why this or why that. Some stuff I agreed with and understood after talking to them why they needed certain things done and why this or that. It was NOT always smooth sailing as I had her while I work full time from home but I did my best to do as they and the doctors wished. My point is you need to sit down and have a conversation with your Mom as to what and why you need and want things done certain ways. Things change with children and each child’s needs are different and do change. I found that having the conversation when nobody was upset or mad was extremely helpful. Was there things I did they wish I didn’t…yep…but if I could take a break from work at 11 am and take her for a walk then I was doing it and not waiting till after 12 for it. My children learned to be flexible on somethings like the time she was taken for a walk. One of the biggest things I taught them was even if it’s not on the schedule if a baby is hungry, wet or tired then her needs outweigh their schedule.
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You are the mom and rules are your rules
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Your child over peeing in her diaper or not getting a bath at Your “correct time” or not napping when you want her to, etc, etc, etc does not matter. As long as she is healthy and thriving all the other little things do not matter. Don’t sweat the small things!! Enjoy your baby and take care of her however you want to when you are the one taking care of her. If your mama is good to her that is all that matters.
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I also wanted to add -
You’re doing great, Mama
Just because the majority of us believe you should let this one go does NOT mean that we are not on your side as a parent. The fact that you are worried tells me you’re trying so hard to do everything right for your little. I panicked a lot with my first too. Just breathe. You’re doing great, your mama is doing great, and that baby sounds well loved.
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No you’re not being a momzilla…Send her to daycare. Try and find a good one. Apply for child care assistance. She can’t babysit your daughter forever anyways… it’s stressful for both of you, so just find a daycare …
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I would keep my child where safety was first. Especially because she can’t speak for herself yet.
Let me give you a different perspective…First, I worked in Daycare in my 20’s and regardless of what everyone is saying, I personally cared about the kids in my class (and I wasn’t the only one). However, there is a difference between watching one or two kids and 6-8 kids, so no, they won’t get as much one-on-one time. Next, I was lucky that my parents were available to watch my sons when I work. My nephews were at a great daycare. As the majority of the grands have graduated highschool, the one thing I notice is my kids are closer to my parents than my nephews. I didn’t put my kids in daycare because I wanted my kids “raised” by someone I know. As I said daycare workers do care but if you think they will follow “your” schedule you will be sadly disappointed. Did I agree with things my parents did? Hell, no! However I knew my kid wasn’t being neglected, abused, or abandoned, AND they were fed, played with, taken cool places, AND most importantly they were loved and happy. I’m a single mom, and tbh I didn’t have the money for full time daycare. If you want something closer to what you would do, stay with your mom. Fyi unless you can afford a Nanny you won’t ever get the care for your child that meets your demands. Don’t get me wrong…I disagree with a lot of things my parents did,
and I am the one that gave my parents their grey hair (I don’t agree with a multitude of subjects) but my boys are healthy, happy, and they survived being taken care of by my parents. I understand your frustrations. If you feel your mom is hurting or harming your baby, by all means find another solution. But if you are mad about a wet diaper (again unless this is constantly happening which is neglect) or a missed bath (no baths at daycare either) then you need to pick a better battle. As far as her eating, maybe let her go with you to the next Dr. visit and let the Dr. explain it. And you are gonna hate the toddler years…they get most of their nutrition through rubbing the food all over their faces and especially their hair instead of their mouth.
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Maybe try sitting down with your mom and talking about it really gently.
Let her know how much you appreciate her. You would just like to be on the same page about her schedule and routine. My mom has helped Me with all my kids… (4) I will tell you my 1st baby was the hardest. I was always upset over little things… but I would communicate with her and we would talk about my frustration or worries. Make a plan and go from there.
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The only advice I have is let her still see her, but don’t let her babysit. It’s the only way she’ll actually respect your ways.
My stepmom is the same way and I just had to cut off her “control” of my child. She’s still allowed to see her, just not babysit at all.
It seems that you believe your mom is not respecting your views by not following your requests to care for your daughter. Some grandparents have difficulty being the primary caregiver of their grandchildren. When we babysat the first time overnight, I followed the schedule and all went pretty well. It was a long list… as the grand got older, we respected (for the most part) how her parents wanted her to be raised, but also were able to be fun grandparents. It might be time to consider other options, especially if it is causing tension in the family.
You get what you paid for.
I hate when people say “I’ve had kids ya know” or “ they turned out just fine.” It doesn’t matter. You’re the mom. If you don’t want certain things done then they shouldn’t be done. But also, Are you paying her anything? If not then no I wouldn’t hound her about it. If She’s doing it for free. Even though she’s the grandmother it’s not required of her. If you feel she would be better off in daycare then put her in daycare. If not I would just have a conversation and explain that you worry etc. but if she feels like you’re attacking her she’s gonna get defensive. So make sure you do it with the correct tone. I was crazy strict with my first. Now I laugh at how I used to act. Haha. Either way you are her parent so if you want her on a schedule she should be on one. But if you’re pretty strict about things you should probably start paying her if she keeps her daily.
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Sorry but I disagree with most of the comments here. I feel your mother should do as you request. Its your baby and your choice. Especially, if you dont like the way she raised you ! If you did choose daycare it would sure show your mom, you mean business. Furthermore, you can give your baby a bath when you get home, every night, if you want to. babies love the bath, it makes them have exercise and then sleep better. I’m sorry your mom doesn’t respect your right as a parent. I don’t blame you for wanting what you want. You also can tell your mom things change with each generation. Maybe thats how she did things but, you want to do things differently. That is your right and your choice. If you have the kind of relationship with your mom where she bosses you around and how she cares for the child goes ? Well, I would get out ! Find other living arrangements and live your own life. It may be the only way to change your relationship with her. It may make her angry at first, but if she wants to be in your and your child’s life she has to respect your wishes. She had her time as being a parent. Now its your time to do as you see fit. You definitely don’t have to just put up with what you get. I say get out and live your own life. Change things if you dont like it. Do it your way.
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sounds like she’d lose grandma title privileges for a bit imo. I’ve acted the part of insane and ppd depression over disrespect constantly before and id do it again in a heartbeat 
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The diaper thing, and not being fed enough is one thing. You have every right to question the care of your child in that regard. As far as following routines and tummy time etc. no not really. Daycares aren’t going to follow those things to the letter either.
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That is your choice. Your mom watching her… OR pay for child care. How strongly do you want that expense ??? Remember, there is a re-learning curve here. It may get better.
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If you don’t want her raised like you were, move out and pay for a sitter. Problem solved
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If she doesn’t respect the way you want your daughter race and yes daycare this word she should go. It’s sad but that’s showing the lack of respect for you
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If you don’t want her raised like you were raised, then maybe don’t allow the mom who raised you keep her. Daycare would be out of the question for me, if your mom has BLESSED you with her keeping your kid while you work then you should be thankful for that option. There are so many people that would give anything for that option. Most people are forced to send their children to daycare that don’t have another option! Be thankful and appreciative of what your mom is doing! If you have rules then talk to her in a loving way and tell her why you want it done that way
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If you only knew what all a daycare would do to take care of your child, you would probably even be more upset.
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Be grateful your mom can do it. My mom is disabled and my 3 year old has never seen her walk. Daycares are not gonna be as good period.
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Wow I wish I had had my mother’s help when I was raising my kids!!!
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If you think for one minute she would be better off in daycare, you are crazy, Daycare is not going to give her the right amount of tummy time, and they will feed her but they will not do it as often as you apparently think she should eat!!! Give your mom a break. You said she is working too, so ease up a little on her!!! The diaper being soaked through, that happens, doesn’t mean she was neglectful.
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While I agree with you, your mother should be more respectful. You can’t say that you don’t want your daughter raised the way you were and then have the same person raise her.
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Try praising your mom on the things she’s gets right and tell her how grateful you are you have her watching your baby vs a stranger that doesn’t know her.shower her with how lucky your baby is to have a grandma that goes above and beyond to see that baby is fed and dry and clean and loved. Maybe it will prompt your mom more to live up to your compliments. No one likes to be criticized. And if these things continue it is possible childcare might be too hard for your mom at this time in her life,and then you might want to think about daycare.
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You do what’s best for your child! And I’d be upset also if u find your child soaked in urine( you would think the gf would of checked her!) but if it’s getting stressful then definitely change arrangements you are the mother! So your rules!!
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Since you’re a big girl woman make your own money why don’t you try moving out and taking care of your own self let mom be in quit degrading her just be blessed that you still have your mother quit quit trying to put lots of work on her it’s not her child is only a grandchild and she needs to be able to treat her like a grandchild that she could bless and spoil Put her in day care.
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I loath when I hear “I have had x kids…” ok? This is my kid not yours. Which is exactly what I have said to my mother and her friend. Your kids havent been babies in 20+ years. This is not your child. This is MY CHILD. I just kept at it. It clicked with my mom… kinda but not her friend. It’s hard.
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You think your mom is stressful daycare will be so much worse
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No daycare. Most are fed and changed and not often. Be glad you have your mom. If mom cant keep baby get someone else you know to do it not daycare
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If you want it all your own way maybe look after your own child
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You are lucky you have her sometimes it’s hard to go by someone else’s schedule day after day…Just relax your daughter will be fine
If you believe daycare is better than family do it you will find out for yourself but you probably won’t be able to go back to family once you find out
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My mom used to watch my son, she didnt listen to a lot of what I said either. But she loved the crap outta my baby, and that is what matters in the end. Sometimes we just have to let go a little bit. She’s doing you a favor, a daycare wont love your daughter the way grandma does.
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You can’t really trust daycares now days. They could be 100 times worse then your mom watching your kid.
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Just put her in daycare.
Daycares have more of a routine and I feel like they would do better than what your mom is doing right now. Not feeding her enough and changing her enough are two things I can actually depend on a daycare to do right. At least in my experience. Hopefully you have a good experience too.
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I was in the same situation. My daughter was babysat by my grandmother (her great grandmother) and my mom . I also lived with all of them. I had great expectations on being this strict mom with what I wanted. My mother would tell me that she raised my brother and I and look how we came out. Hearing all the horror stories about daycare and how much it costs. My friends losing there parents, and grandparents and was not that lucky for there children to bond. Well my daughter is 13 now and so close to my mother and is her best friend. I wouldn’t change it for the world.
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Ummm… Do you think the daycare is going to follow all that??? Answer is NO! Daycares follow their own daily routines and guidelines.
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Just talk to her. The wet diaper would piss me off as well. But a daycare is not going to do all the things you want either and it’s very pricey.
Daycare isn’t going to follow your schedule. They may tell you they will but they don’t. They follow their schedule. When I worked in an infant room we had set times the babies ate and it didn’t matter what parents said. Daycare’s are also often times out of ratio. Where I’m at the ratio for the infant room was 4 babies to one teacher. I can’t tell ypu even one time that I was ever in ratio and more often then not, I had 6 or 7 babies to care for by myself. So there wasn’t much room to just snuggle and love up on the babies and give them the one on one they need. Very often I had a baby in my arms feeding them while rocking a baby in a bouncer thing with my foot. Another baby cries and you have to put down the baby you’re feeding so you can go to the crying baby. They also won’t give your baby a bath so that doesn’t solve that problem. Babies still pee through stuff. Every Daycare I worked in, the kids got changed every 2 hrs unless they pooped or peed an excessive amount. If you changed diapers too often then parents complained because they had to buy more diapers to bring in. The stuff you posted about seems trivial. If your mom forgot to give a bath then why don’t you do it since you’re the mother? Your mom works a job, takes care of your baby, feeds your baby, changes your baby, is apparently responsible for bathtime and bedtime…so what exactly are you doing? Lighten her load a little and give the woman a break.
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You are not momzilla
I relate to you a lot. Firstly the most irritating one liner to me on the planet is “I’ve raised kids too you know” i’m like congratulations but how does that relate to anyone else’s kids? Knowledge regarding your own children does not immediately transfer into knowledge regarding other children for me you or any body. And the Fact that you have kids also does nothing to my mommy brain feeling the need to check up on things because that’s what makes a responsible parent and gives me peace of mind about leaving my child with someone else. Secondly, I don’t know what it is about becoming a grandmother but it’s like you can only have a grandma mentality or mom mentality and not both. I don’t know what it is about becoming a grandmother that makes women forget what it was like to be a mom and keep family schedules and rules/boundaries and Have to worry about proper daily nutrition and etc. etc. I don’t have a single mom Friend that doesn’t struggle with this In someway shape or form.
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Be GRATEFUL!!!
Sure my MIL doesn’t follow everything we say, but she loves our son & she never complains about watching him.
Hell she calls on the weekends just to see if he can come over for a bit!
Be grateful that your mom is willing to watch your baby for FREE & allow them that bonding time.
Don’t ruin your relationship because you don’t see eye to eye on everything. Your child is loved & cared for. That is what matters!
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Being a mom who HAD to put her kids in daycare at an early age… they are not going to do what you want either… I mean they seem like pretty small things to be upset about… the eating thing, yeah I get but if baby doesn’t want to eat she’s not going too… soaked diapers are going to happen, even with you. I would be very appreciative and lower your expectations. Be thankfull
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Well I’m here to tell you that at daycare she may come home soiled with diaper rash and none of your schedules followed . Not all day cares are properly staffed and not all workers do their job well . I worked in infant room and I was the only one who changed diapers. 3 other girls in my class refused and they had the right to. So the owner and me were constantly changing babies (bc we were good responsible ppl who actually care). so imagine an understaffed facility if only one is on diaper duty. I’ve seen friends kids come home in soaked clothes full of rash from their chosen day cares. It’s sad.
Your child is with family 1 on 1. Free. Explain to your nom that she did a great job with you and now you want to implement your own ways with your child and you’d love her help!
I wish I had a mom to help out…i put my kids in daycare before and they were rashed, not changed often, not fed often. Not intentional but with “x” amount of kids, yours gets as much time as all the rest. I knew someone who worked there. They will tell you that they’ll follow the schedule but they won’t, they have their own schedule.
Maybe look around and find one you like. I found one with less kids than the other one but they still have their own schedule they follow…
Another Fucckn know it …your not a momzilla that’s giving yourself credit your a selfish mtherfcker wanting shit done your way yet don’t want to give your mother nothing but advice. Want to pay for daycare yet don’t want to pay your mum you little punk arse beetch…you want things done your way literally pay arsehole or shut the faaarrrk up you punk arse beetch …here do this get your mum on Friday’s some alcohol packet cigarettes and 20nucks fir takeaways so after looking after your kid all week for nothing she can get pissed then eat takeaways to unwind from looking after your brat you arsehole
Honestly, that’s super annoying and I would be annoyed BUT one accident about changing the baby and not strictly following “tummy time” isn’t a reason to put your kid in the care of strangers that definitely will not follow individualized plans. Grandma is free and to be fair, she DID raise you (& siblings?). Some things may not be exactly how you want them but the bond it’s creating, and having someone you know and trust watching your kid is way worth it.
You can’t force a child to eat if they aren’t hungry. You can over feed a child and not listen or see their feeding cues.
Not changing diapers can lead to a lot of issues.
I’m glad you have help. Your approach to your Mom may not be the best. She raised you a certain way and may be stuck in those ways.
There isn’t going to be a single person who is going to follow your rules to a t without some give in it as your child grows, so does the routine and the needs.
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You stand your ground!!! You are the mom!! Is there a grandma on the dads side available??
You are not a mom Zilla, oftentimes our mother think they know best or want to raise our kids the same way they raised us.
Which is why, I’d enroll her in a structure preschool or daycare ASAP.
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Punkarse bitch take her daycare your have to pay there you dumarse mum got Bette thinks to do like get pissed I want tell you to stick it up your arsehole your advice and demands where I come from your name would be dumbfuucckk
Address your concerns in a loving way. You could tell her how much you appreciate her helping with your child and that you would like your daughter to eat at a certain time because of xy and z. The diaper situation you said was a miscommunication…so I would just pick your battles. If your daughter is being taken care of by her grandmother who truly loves her and wants the best for her, I don’t think she would intentionally do anything to upset you or harm your child. Trust me, you will always nit-pick someone else watching your child, because theyre not you. I think that comes with being a mother. Allow others to help, you might learn something different about her schedule from your mom that is beneficial. It takes a village.
Hire someone will save lot of agony
I had the best daycare provider ever, but they are hard to come by. You are very fortunate that your mom can watch your baby. I say don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. If you aren’t happy with your mom watching your baby, you surely won’t be happy with daycare.
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You have to find a middle ground. I can see how it’s frustrating but honestly if you get peeved over your mom doing stuff you don’t like, chances are you will have a nightmare roller coaster ride for day care experiences. Try to let some of the more trivial things go, other more important things stand a little firmer.
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I think you are being a new mom and sometimes we forget that our parents did raise kids without all the added stress of worrying about every milestone. They are important but so is a free babysitter you can trust. I would be happy for that and try to get mom and the same page so you aren’t clashing over every single thing she does. If baby is happy and you don’t have worry about daycare then it is a good thing. You are the parent and if you just can’t go along than you need to find a new caretaker. Just don’t burn any bridges with Grandma so she could be a backup if you need her.
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The diaper issue aside for a minute. It’s important for you to realize that No one is going to follow your strict schedule down to the letter…not even a daycare. They’ll have their own schedule set up to balance all of the children in their care.
They’re not going to give your baby a bath. And realistically speaking babies only need to have an actual bath 1-2 times a week. The rest of the time sponge baths work just fine.
As far as feeding goes, your mom taking your baby’s ques… Waiting until the baby is hungry and then not trying to force more “milk” when she stops eating is completely normal.
Many many many parents use that instead of strict schedules.
Now. Not changing baby’s diaper is a separate issue and more serious but if it was a true accident and once odd then I’d let it go.
Eventually your baby will pee through her diaper on your watch (it happens to everyone) and trust me…you won’t feel so self-righteous then…but you’ll also realize that mistakes happen…learn from it and move on.
Realistically speaking, your mom did raise two kids.
And while you don’t want to raise your daughter the way she raised you…I do get that…but going complete opposite isn’t necessarily in anyones best interest.
Especially with an infant.
With infancy it’s meeting their needs and giving them love/attention.
There is no parenting to correct any type of behavior.
I also get the mom anxiety. Really. I do. But I would take a step back and really try to evaluate just how much your anxiety is driving. Because anxiety most definitely can and will make you irrational, unrealistic, and can definitely cause you to pick at things until they break for no real reason.
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If you can afford it, get a nanny! It’s the only way you’ll have all your needs met:)
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Pick your battles. Is the baby happy? Strangers won’t raise them with your values and morals. Is too little tummy time going to harm the baby. Being wet longer than you want isn’t a major catastrophe if it happens only once. Again, pick your battles.
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U da mama, U make the rules… Daycare, what a nightmare just with the things u hear and they are strangers! But love ur mom too, if it’s so bad it’s relationship ruining then a daycare should have plenty workers per state laws for them to help u enforce more of a “schedule”
OMG entitled much. Put her on day care, wait till she comes home with bites from other kids, sick all the time cuz some parents send their kids with colds. Watch the news, how many day care workers have left kids behind in their vans and end up in death. Think twice before you criticize your mom. Are you paying her at least for you to have all this demands??? Your baby is not gonna be in a better place than your mom.
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You are Def being a “momzilla” the things you are complaining about are ridiculous! She is watching your baby while you work which you need to be more grateful for and you saying times have changed since you htew up the things you are Complaining about dont even go hand and hand…now at the same time if you dont like the way she is doing it find somebody else you have the right to do that or just stop complaining about nothing
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You’re not being a momzilla, but it’s clear that your mother isn’t going to follow your guidelines. She’s not going to change. Let her babysit occasionally, but I’m afraid you’re going to have to find child care.
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I’m 26 and have a 5 year old son and 1 year old daughter and honestly no your not. Yes our mothers did a good job raising us but unfortunately this world we live in now is so different.
It’s YOUR child. Period. If you have your kid on a schedule then she should at least TRY to abide by that… anyone watching your kid should. You respect the parents wishes even if you don’t agree.
Secondly. Don’t be afraid to stand up to your mom or anyone for your child. It’s not unreasonable things you are asking. And if she doesn’t want to at least try to work with you then maybe look into daycare if it’s an option for your family.
Thirdly, don’t let your mom pull the my house my rules thing ya know? She might feel like bc you live with her that her mothering should be the only way. You’re obviously working and providing for your child and she needs to respect you as an adult and as that kids mother and not just her daughter.
Good luck 
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