I do not mean disrespect, but a son should always respect his mother, even if not valuing her opinion. And rarely do mothers like the spouses their sons choose [especially if they had “someone else” in mind] He chose you despite her thoughts. And try not to force “choose between us” situations. Trust me, be the bigger person, kill her with kindness, and focus on the harmony in YOUR relationship with him. He will see your efforts, and recognize your value in it. As will your children…My MIL did not like me in the beginning, I don’t even know why, considering I was a VERY innocent and naive 14 year old, dating her very wild 16 year old. She threatened to “smack me in the mouth” on more then one occasion, both our families her included, kicked us to the streets homeless when I got pregnant at 15, he 17 and we were both still in highschool [he had to quit and get a job to support us] but fast forward to five years later her becoming disabled, neither of her daughters willing to take her in, and her coming to live under my roof, you think that would change things, but no…it took 12 YEARS for her to finally admit I was not “a bad person after all” the next 2 Years we got along well, and two years after that, she died, with again no daughters by her side…just me. In that time she told me over and over how sorry she was…and tried to explain…
You would think that all this would have made ME a different kind of MIL right ?? But…no. I took over four years to warm up to my first DIL, it’s been seven now, and she calls me mom, and I love her…but it was not easy for sure !!!
Try a perspective not your own…
This your husband needs to put her in her place so sad
I left a comment of advice under someone else’s comment already, but that was before I saw that u said she is bad mouthing ur son and everything else. All bets r off then that’s a damn no go!!! There’s no excuse and no making that right or tiptoeing around it. If ur husband allows that then I’m just saying he and I would have a very serious problem. She doesn’t even deserve to get to see ur children if that’s the way she is
Keep your distance but your husband should put her in her place. And if he doesn’t ever see anything wrong with what she says and does then you’re better off without him. It’s one thing if the MIL doesn’t like you but once you open your mouth about my kids all bets are off.
Fuck em! What in laws
Literally the same situation I’m in but I only have one baby. I just stoped talking to them all together and ignore everything they say to me and I don’t let them see my son at all
I would get onto my husband for letting his mother talk about our kids like that, and if he didn’t grow a back bone and stand up for his new family I’d be getting my stuff in order to leave his momma’s boy ass. Family is no longer family the moment they talk bad about my kids or myself, they would never see my kids again.
Stand up to her and your husband. Don’t back down. If she can’t accept you then she needs leave you alone. Your husband needs to support you and realize what is going on. If your husband supports you but she won’t accept you then you will have to still let the children see her, away from you. Regardless of how she feels about you, she is still grandma and she loves her grandkids.
I don’t care for my mil so we stay away from each other, but I let her see our kids. Because they are my husbands kids too and she’s still grandma.
I’ve seen my parents be kept from their other grandkid because the other grandparents didn’t like my sibling. It’s so wrong. Unless they’re danger to the kids it’s just not ok!
2 sides to every story!
It’s never okay to withhold the grandchildren from their grandpatents unless they are abusers or addicts! I’m not sure where this generation dreamed this up, but you are only hurting your children!
Nope. Keep your distance but if she treats the kids well, I’d advise to never keep them away.l from them. She may just have something against you as your female. Some MIL don’t like ANYONE in their sons life.
My daughter and i do not go over to her grandmothers house. I didnt want to keep her away from anyone but ill be damned if her own grandmother calls her a bastard. Grandma doesnt like me cant respect me and bad mouths me. I dont want my daughter around that
Stand your ground I don’t let my kids around anyone who will talk bad about me or there dad to them it’s not okay at all
Set rules now!! Your husband should be on your side, if he isn’t, well then he needs help.
I would avoid her, but see if your husband would be willing to go talk to someone to figure out how he can support your needs too.
Have same problems with my mother in law only difference is my husband wants nothing to do with his mom. I would definitely stay a way you have every rite to want toxic people to not be a round your kids. If she is saying bad things like that she shouldn’t have no problem with you and your kids staying a way from her. I allowed my kids to try to have contact with my mother in law to be nice but it did not turn out well my kids are old enough they seen who she was and have now said they want nothing to do with her. Just stick your ground be humble and enjoy your pregnancy
Time to get those mini cameras and record her the newer phones will record a conversation it’s time to prove to your husband, mother-in-law acts when he’s not around