My husband took a job an hour away. We no longer go to the gym together-which was something we always did. He attends a completely different gym in a different town because it’s “on the way”. Wakes up a couple hours early to go to the gym. I don’t want to discourage him from going because fitness has always been important to both of us, but at the same time I feel like he could be hiding something. Like who he could be working out with or seeing. (I understand that I’m insecure but this fuels my fire).
On top of this he now wants to work nights for the pay increase. We would never see each other during the week because of my work schedule. We also have 3 kids. I’ve told him how I feel. That I’d be extremely worried that we wouldn’t be able to hold it together. And he makes me feel guilty because we need the money if we want to make our dreams come true. We wouldn’t be able to afford the life style that we want etc… I’m already naturally resentful that he works an hour away and attends a different gym. Now he wants to work a shift where we will never see each other during the week.
He’s worked nights before but at that time he worked in the same town and I also only worked part time so I got to spend the whole first half of my day with him on my days off. I’m feeling more and more neglect in our marriage. I don’t know that he’d cheat on me, but I do know that he chooses to watch porn frequently- I’ve expressed that I don’t like when he does that too. He just hides it now. It gets in the way of our sex life. Can someone help me feel more confident in these changes? I feel like I’m losing him.
Need money drop the gym memberships and work out at home. U 2 need to have a long heart to heart talk .
I don’t think you’re being selfish, especially if you’ve expressed your dislike for something he is doing and now he just hides it. That places distrust, so anyone would naturally feel insecure with the other stuff on top of it.
You asked for our opinion so here it goes. This sounds so very selfish and insecure of you. Do it for the greater good of your family and if you start to see red flags or have problems address it then. I be pissed if my significant other tried to stifle me from making moves and leveling up my family all because they’re feeling insecure. That’s not ok.
Honestly. Whats done in the dark will always come to light. Stop obsessing and give it time. If he’s doing wrong…it will come out.
I’m confused. If he can get up a couple of hours early to go to a gym that is “on the way”. he can get up a couple of hours early and go to your local gym, right? Not to mention the extra cost involved for him to pay for a separate membership. He seems to be penny-wise but pound-foolish.
Therapy, for yourself. It’ll help you deal with your emotions and feelings, as well as give you the tools to have an effective conversation with him.
Losing him because he wants to make more money? WOW
My husband will now be gone 2 nights and 3 days. Working in the city to provide for our family while I am taking care of our 3 children (5 year old and 16 month old twins).
Never once have I even thought about that being time for him to explore infidelity.
I think that if the thought is already there it has nothing to do with the current situation. It’s underlining and should be addressed.
I understand the need for time to connect. We are also both finishing up our masters so between all of it there is less time but we still make it happen. And sometimes you have to do things short term to get to a better place.
I think if the job is really worth the life you want to live then it would be worth trying it out to see how you can work with it.
For us, it was always a “we will try you commuting and being away for multiple days but if it doesn’t work, we need a new plan”
Wishing you the best !
Money isn’t everything, materialistic stuff isn’t everything! Bc at the end of the day if you don’t end up together what was all the sacrifices for. Y’all need to put your relationship first. Talk to him. Maybe y’all have different priorities then when y’all first started dating and it needs to be discussed. Also being a single mom while you’re actually not a single mom will make you resent him, trust me I know.
Yes your being selfish, a hour away isn’t even that bad, imagine if it was 4-5 hours away, like husbands and boyfriends that work for the railroad or something, second of all most night shift positions have a shift differential where they make more money, nightshift is hard in general especially adapting the the schedule, at least he is going out to work, you either have to settle for a busy man that works to support his family and him be gone or a broke man that doesn’t work and support his family, and then y’all are struggling because it’s hard to live off 1 income, because he actual wants to go out and work does not mean he is neglecting you, and he shouldn’t stop doing the things he loves. Why not work the same shift he is working, go to night shift so y’all can see each other during the day
Let him watch porn, what’s the big deal? If you both want to have a better lifestyle then you do now, you have to know the pro’s and con’s to that decision, it’s not all his fault if you also want a better lifestyle for you and your kids
As a mom of three, we need our spouses to be present! I would not be ok with the night shift.
If money is what ya all find most important to be happy in the future then this seems the route to go to make that happen? I prefer to live simply as at the end of the day I don’t feel like the amount of money in my bank account is as important as the amount of time I get to spend with my loved ones. You got to reevaluate ya all’s desires for your future cause obviously it’s already causing issues for the both of you. Love should always be more important than a desired lifestyle to me. Pick your priorities and go from there.
Women your gonna have to choose either you want the financial security or his time yall they can’t do both this is a unrealistic expectation of women they want the big house nice cars but complain they don’t see their husband…then wonder why men say we are never satisfied…
If ur that worried send a friend or something to the gym that he works out at… then u can see its all innocent and it calm u and u can focus on reassuring urself that it is what he says it is…
If its the other and he is being a vulgar git… u can put a stop to it…
Either way if u don’t resolve this u will drive urself insane hun xx
My opinion, you’re being selfish. If your husband hasn’t given you reason to distrust him, don’t make up reasons to distrust him. To me, it sounds like he’s making moves to benefit your family as a whole. It’ll be hard yes, but all marriages take work. You may not see each other much through the week, but that should just mean that you value the time you have together on weekends that much more. Sit down together and have a conversation. Come to the agreement that you’ll both try this new change, and if any issues arise, you’ll reevaluate and make necessary changes at that point. Money isn’t everything, but it sounds like you have a husband that wants to try and provide a comfortable life for your family.
I’m sorry to say but,youre being selfish.He wants to make sure his family is being taken care of.Let’s face it.We aren’t children any more and some times,we as adults,have to sacrifice a lot of things to be able to make sire our families are taken cared of.Yes it sucks.However,if hes doing anything wrong,itll come to light soon enough.
Hell…my husband used to work as an ironworker traveling everywhere. He would be a state or two away sometimes and be gone a whole month every now and then. If he was gone longer than 3 weeks…end of 3rd week id travel to see him. An hour away isnt bad. Maybe talk to him about ditching the gym membership and getting stuff to work out with at home. That way have more time together. Also go do stuff as a family and date night every now and then on the weekends so have time together. As for porn…all men do it. Have been since teens. Watch it with him or just dont judge him for watching it. Say want to start spicing things up in bedroom,so want to watch with him and see how that goes. They will hide it and become a bit resentful if you get onto them about it.
OK yes his choice to edge out time for family and your marriage is crazy. Find middle ground where u both comprimise. I WILL ALSO SAY till my ears bleed watching porn does not correlate with cheating per se, it’s normal to watch, not unhealthy and with this specific share its on you to realize that you are being insecure and telling him not too often or not is going to make him feel bad about himself.
Well you need to sit down and talk to him. If you truly feel that his working night would cause issues with the marriage and home life what is the point of making more money if you will be heading for a divorce? It’s about quality of life. There has to be a good work life balance and you can’t be expected to do it all on your own all week if you feel like it doesn’t work for you. I’ve done it. My husband used to work nights while I worked days and we didn’t see eachother 5 days a week. It was really hard on me especially with a full time job and two young kids but we made it work because we didn’t have a choice, he had to work nights. If he has a choice and you are not on board with it, there needs to be some expectations on how he can help ease your worries, work load and figure out how to keep eachother happy…ie date nights every week.
It’s a bad thing when trust doesn’t exist in a relationship… insecurity is also dangerous. U mentioned cheating… who says even if he was working in same town and going gym with u that it wasn’t possible… you need therapy… y’all need to work this out because ur insecurities will destroy ur marriage… give the man some room to breathe…
FIRST TRUST YOUR GUT, PERIOD
Therapy if you feel you’re TRULY insecure otherwise
TRUST YOUR GUT, PERIOD
Making money is not his only role in your marriage. Don’t feel guilty or feel selfish for wanting your family whole and him sharing the load of responsibilities of raising 3 children and ALL that marriage entails. A person can live a whole other live an hour away 5 days a week separate from home base. GOOD LUCK
There is more to life than making money… what’s important is your family life … for you both to be together and be happy … money doesn’t buy happiness …I think you should come to a compromise … there is no point in making extra money if you don’t even see each other to enjoy it… I personally would rather stay home with a big bucket of homemade popcorn and watch a movie together
It sounds like he’s making decisions to create as much distance between you as possible. That would worry me too. Typically, partners want to spend as much time together as is reasonable, and decisions to spend more time apart to facilitate shared goals are MUTUAL decision that are discussed first, not just one partner telling the other that’s how it’s going to be. It doesn’t sound like he’s acknowledging your concerns or giving you a voice in the relationship.
Um, working an “hour away” is actually normal for most people who have good paying jobs. My husband works an hour away, everyday, at least 40 minutes, multiple job sites, everyday. My sister drives an hour to work, my friends husband drives an hour to work, it’s normal dude. My husband goes to the gym, but he goes around our house. He’s tried other gyms. He makes time for the gym when it doesn’t interfere with family time. Maybe he just likes doing it by himself now? I don’t know but that shit should be negotiable.
It’s okay to feel this way. You’re going to miss him. Maybe he compromise with you. Talk to him and say something like I feel like I’m going to miss not seeing you. Maybe you can still make it to the gym with me. He wakes up early to go to another gym maybe he can make to effort to spend that time with you to make you feel better
He is probably cheating
If you want a successful man, expect a busy man. However, the gym is the compromise he could make, he could continue to work out with you at yalls regular gym, whether before work or after. I would not be okay with all those changes. His job wouldn’t bother me though, just the other stuff.
Ambition comes at a cost when we neglect the concerns & fears of our spouses.
Reminds me of that African proverb, “If you want to go FAST, go alone. If you want to go FAR, go together.” He can slow down his corporate goals & show you that you can trust him… Or he can ignore your concerns & 6th sense, as his spouse, and end up losing the family he is supposedly working so hard for. If you can see his effort to reassure you… you must reciprocate with TRUST & allow him to pursue his career goals.
I see some people saying you are selfish but we don’t know anything about your relationship, aside from what you’ve written, & can’t judge whether or not your concerns are valid. Women are intuitive by design so trust your instincts.
Best wishes.
I was always very similar in feelings before the man I am engaged to now. I have 3 kids and 3 step kids. It isn’t easy, I admit quickly, but I find a way to make it work. I have moved to part time hours but he works 14 days on and 7 off. In those 14 he doesn’t come home at all. I work nights on the ambulance but the week he is home I don’t schedule any shifts. If there is a will there is a way. I dint worry that he’s cheating or any of that. I also enjoy the time I get with the kids to just be mom and be at their events and such. Would it be easier for me to still work full time, yes absolutely, but it’s worth that few hundred dollars and nice break each month to take those 7 days off.
Money is NOT everything. There is no dream if there is no together.
Your marriage is more important than money. How would he feel if the rolls were reversed?
Well the same thing happened to me and he was having an affair with his students at his gym in town so play it by ear and good luck
A lot of people commenting are very quick to dismiss very valid concerns. It seems as though he’s making decisions to distance himself from his family. And without really any discussion, just him deciding. As a mom, I’d be worried about the lack of time he’s spending with the kids. As a wife, I’d be worried about the same things the op is.
Just because you choose to work an hour away, doesn’t mean you have to go to a new gym. Especially if that was something that you regularly did together. If anything, you’d make it a point to stay at the same gym so that you could spend as much quality time with each other as possible.
I understand wanting to make more money, but money isn’t everything. And the op didn’t say they weren’t broke, just yearning for a better lifestyle as many people do.
Maybe my husband is different, but he would never act this way. He’s gone some nights and almost all day Saturday to train to be a firefighter. We also have 3 kids including a new baby. He does everything in his power to be home and available for us as soon as he gets home from class.
It’s all a balance — your loved ones should always come first though. He shouldn’t be doing things behind your back either, only creates more distrust and resentment. I think too many people have such a blasé attitude about porn and sex. Of course, sex and nudity is a part of our adult lives, but if what he chooses to do by himself starts to take away your closeness and bond together, and/or he rather orgasm to a video or photo, it’s a big problem.
Counseling together if you’re able to go?
At least for yourself?
Communicate calmly and clearly.
Best of luck. 
You need to go pop in that gym.
No reason for him not to go to the same gym. That’s just an excuse. I understand the job bit the other changes I would worry about.
I don’t see man is doing anything wrong . Cut him loose n try to get some more trust in relationship. Be open for discussion but don’t go doubt it makes worse tbh.
He shouldn’t have to give up on himself to accommodate your insecurities
He is intentionally putting distance between y’all. Prepare to be alone
The amount of vicious women in here is astounding. Every single post there is a handful of women just being so beyond ugly. Who raises you bitter witches? 🕵🏻♀️
Move closer to his job
Team work makes the dream work. He’s probably cheating.
kids are expensive, if he’s cheating I hope he’s using condoms. lol he already working to the bone for 3.
If you want to achieve life goals you have set out for yalls family then you need to supporting him. My husband had dream to become a diplomat body guard (he use to be a cop but got shot and so that ended because he almost died) and the last 2 years have been rough I want lie I usually see him for 2 weeks every 3 months this last run was even longer that he was gone and I’m actually as I’m typing this getting ready to take him back to the airport but this was his dream job so I have pushed him to do I have encouraged him I have built him up and reminded him he can do it and to reach his goal and to better support our family of 4 kids. Does it suck I don’t see him yes it sucks for both of us but we make it work. He is trying to provide for his family just like your husband is at least yours isn’t gone for months at a time, be thankful you have a man how is willing to bust his ass to support his family.
I can’t understand why the gym change and eliminating your time with him at the gym…why can’t he wait to come home or go before work so he can be with you?? This would raise my eyebrow …
If you have so little trust, you should leave. You will never be good enough for anyone because you are not good enough for yourself. You will always think they are cheating. If the job change is an issue, change your shift.
If he is trying to make the dream you both have a reality, than support him! To make a dream come true you sometimes have to sacrifice a few things to get it! Doing the same routine and everything the same will not get you out of the rut or make that dream a reality! Talk to him about your insecurities and ask him how he can reassure your fears to make this worth while! Don’t tell him no! But make a compromise
How weak…the man is willing to get a job further away and sacrafice a lot so he can afford your dreams and you are over here on social media whining you arent getting much time with him. My husband is a pilot for a barge company. Stays on a boat for a month busting his ass to take care of his family. He gets 2 weeks at home and sometimes we dont get much time together when he gets home because he is mowing the yard,fixing things around the house that broke while he was gone. You know? Taking care of his family. Grow up. Your mad because he is working out at a gym on the way. He likes his fitness and with the job, he has to find a way to continue his fitness by finding a way to fit it in his schedule. You need a hobby. Or a bum with no job so he can just stay home and you can be assured every day that hes not working out with someone else or cheating. How absolutely childish
The gym thing is kinda strange. But the night shift so yall can reach your dreams? What is it a couple bucks more an hour? I dont see how that will make that big of a difference when he could stay on a normal shift and see his wife and kids. Money isnt everything
It’s sacrifice girl. You gotta grind for your dreams.
I don’t understand why people laugh. He feelings are valid. I’d be hurt too.
He cheating get over it
I think you need to work on your issues. Not all men are cheating. A busy man is not a cheating man. Some busy men have goals and are providers and when you provide for your family it’s comes with a cost. Life isn’t free and he is doing what he has to. Maybe try to find a hobby that gives you some dreams or something? Seems your not on the same page.
I want to say I understand but I don’t…u are literally saying it’s your way or the high way. He has told u he is working extra for the family.he is probably stressed with some bills and just wants to lighten the load.if you want to spend that much time with him adjust your timetable a little more. He leaves earlier,make him some breakfast or lunch and put a cute not in there. When he is back late cuddle up… leave him a warm meal before u go since u won’t see each other much. Come up with little things u can do for each other to feel loved.
Some things are more important than money 
Trust your gut feelings they are rarely ever wrong
Why does it always have to be cheating? Hes going to a different gym cuz its closer and on his way to work…he wants to achieve his dreams so hes working towards it
I would rent a car with dark windows and I would follow him. That is the only way you will know for sure. Or have a PI or a friend that you trust follow him. Something doesn’t pass the smell test here.
I wouldn’t be able to be with someone that I never see. That’s something I make clear up front. If I can’t see them frequently enough then it won’t work out at all
Driving 45+ is normal for my area… talk to him. Make changes to your schedule.
Something isn’t right. I am on the op side. She needs to dig a little deeper into what’s going on. I am sorry I won’t put up with that shit. I am not controlling but I like order and compromise that fits both.
A man makes his own choices. If he feels there is a reason to want to stay at home he will be there. If not he is gone. Ask him to meet when you can. One hour is not that far away. Keep it fresh and hot when together. Remember why you fell in love. If you have paid time off from work,take it. Sounds like all I read was work. Technology nowadays keeps it easy to stay in touch, honestly if he has time to watch porn he has time to FaceTime time you. If all else fails make it all about you and the kids. Concentrate on your goals, life,career, retirement whatever it might be. If he takes notice he will come back if not. Don’t even look back. Remember beauty is within. Positive vibes. 
My husband is lazy and doesn’t provide…my husband is providing but I don’t like how he is doing it…do men ever get a break?
Doesn’t sound good I’d feel exactly like you … Time for a reality check check it? him out
If you feel it…it already is.
My husband and I work opposite shifts because daycare is too expensive. So on days we are working (generally 4 days in a row in my one stretch )I see him for 5 min when we switch the kids
You’re not going to live the lives of your dreams, together, if there isn’t time put into each other. Money is not what’s more important.
Well an hour commute for more money is a common sacrifice for ones family, changing gyms is more puzzling, and if increasing porn viewing is affecting your intimacy as he distances from you then the combination is troubling to say the least
A marriage is about team work and compromise. He needs to take your feelings into consideration. You are not wrong. And if he can’t respect your feelings you will resent him and eventually this could end your marriage.
My husband and I have been together for 16 years. Most of those 16 years we were on opposite shifts so we didn’t have to pay childcare. We didn’t see each other as much as we would have liked, but sacrifices need to be made for an end goal. If he is truly trying to make both your dreams come try and provide for your family then be supportive. Plan a date night once a month and a family night to ensure the kids have proper time with their father. I have been insecure and felt lonely at times in the past. Express your emotions and allow open communication. But work together as a team foe your future.
He sounds like a good provider.
My husband works and hour and a half away Monday thru Friday.i only get to see him for maybe 3-4 hours in tue evening.then I work 8 hours on Friday and 16 on Saturday Saturday sundays.so I only get to see him sleeping on those days.and we also have 3 children.if u want it to work with him then u will find a way
It is so hard when you have 3 kids. I get it that he wants to make more money, but it comes with a cost, there is a price tag on everything. He’s also going to a different gym whereas that is something the two of you enjoyed together before. If you’re worried He’s doing something besides work Skype him at work and you will see the surroundings. So much pressure for all of these things combined I know it’s not easy. Here’s hoping you can both sit down and communicate about all the issues and no one gets their nose put out of joint. All the best.
He watches porn, he’s already cheating. Sexual intimacy is the only thing that can and should be held as sacred for only each other once you’ve committed to one person. If he’s getting that fundamental exchange of energy from elsewhere than that’s gonna create a gap and have a ripple effect on every aspect of the relationship.
Go with your gut but get facts about everything first I have been told I’m better at finding out sneaky shit than the FBI so you need to get on that sis
You are, help him along the way. It’s time to step up to the plate and it be YOU that makes your children’s dreams come true. You need to leave him.
So, my husband has gone through every shift under the sun, and I have to say, night shift and graveyard shift are the worst, but they generally do make more money… And him having a longer commute does get in the way of family time and personal time, which he is 100% entitled to… but that being said, it’s literally not the end of the world. If he’s making Career changes that benefit BOTH OF YOU in the long run, I’d say let it play out. If it causes more issues than it’s worth to you, that’s where there’s a problem, and you should voice your concerns with him. Your feelings are valid, but you gotta think about it from his perspective also. Either you wanna see him more, or you wanna live more comfortably. You cant always have it both ways…
Just think long n hard about what’s best for your family, not just you, not just him, not just the kids. ALL OF YOU ARE EQUALLY IMPORTANT HERE. 
Good luck 
I will say this TRUST YOUR GUT!!! Don’t say your insecure at all… 100 percent whatever your gut is telling you trust it!!!
Why are you even married if you don’t trust him?
I’d suggest a conversation and see a therapist to work on your issues.
If it feels like he is hiding something, then he probably is.
My husband and I work opposite shifts and days. We don’t have any days off together and I work an hour away but we still go to gym after I get off work. The kids go to bed later than I would like but it’s 3 days a week we do it.
Go to counseling together. If he is watching porn and hiding it he is probably already cheating. If he doesn’t want to spend time with you as a couple or a family that’s a sign he has other interests. Get your financial affairs in order and consult an attorney. Good luck to you.
Trust your gut. How much are you willing to sacrifice for a lifestyle? Personally, money is not worth not seeing each other. If you are willing to sacrifice your time with your hysband for a better car, a vacation or a bigger home, then that’s your choice.
Put a in home gym in tell him you all can work out there together and he won’t have to go out early and you’ll know where he’s at at all times
It’s about compromise in life, bc you stated you need the money to maintain your lifestyle and have your dreams come true. Sounds like he is putting in the extra effort to make this happen. Is it ideal for everyone? No. Will it be difficult, yes! But you as a couple need to decode what your priorities are. Many couples work opposites bc of childcare and they make it work.
I can understand your frustration and concerns but being an outsider all I read was Me, me, me not us.
Sounds like you need to communicate and compromise, both of you. And the porn thing, well just bc you don’t like it doesn’t mean he has to stop, I kinda feel bad for your husband bc he feels like he has to hide it.
I’m sure you do things that he doesn’t like but he doesn’t make you stop.
Again, compromise.
What lifestyle is it that your family is looking for? If you and he are working all the time and no time for family I don’t see how that is improving your lifestyle? Is there a specific goal that is being sought after, like a down payment on a home or move? A specific time frame and dollar amount to go back to days? If not there needs to be or else 
this would be a problem for me. If you are both not getting your needs met in the bedroom that is a problem as well, porn is just a symptom.
Yea !! Something is definitely off. Follow your intuition. When something is off, ITS OFF.
Your feeling insecure because it’s a lot of changes at once. I know a couple in this exact scenario. 3 kids, she works long shifts for a gym and he works nights. But when he gets off work he meets her at her work and they work out together. It’s not easy but it can work if you work at it
Oh my God, people. The man is trying to earn more money to provide for a future that they both dream of. Yea, it means she (OP) sees her partner less…yea, I understand he chooses to go to a different gym then the one the OP goes to, but so what.
Three kids and two adults is a lot of mouths to feed and keep fed. If you guys don’t use government help now to pay for food, than he probably wants to keep it that way. If you are worried that he’s going to another gym, buy some equipment to workout at home. To be able to spend time together still during that time. But y’all really need to sit down and talk things out. Let him explain why he’s doing what he does and what he wants. He may think you aren’t happy with how things are at home and wants to make more money to improve your life as a mom to the kids. If you feel insecurities, talk to a therapist, it sounds like he never gave you a real reason to not trust him. Porn, I can’t say much. My hubby and I both watch it from time to time, I don’t see a problem with it. It’s useful when he’s in the mood and when your not.
If you what to know how the money is handled while he’s gone, ask him. Ask for a bank statement to lay to rest your insecurities on that issue. Or you be the one that handles the money while he’s the one that works.
Me, I’m a stay at home mom, pregnant with my third child. He works 5 days a week sun-thurs, and both of my daughters are in school now. So I am home alone basically 4 days out of the week since my hubby and daughters are out of the home at the same time. Yes, I miss hubby a lot when I’m home alone, but I know he’s trying to provide for us all since our food stamps were denied recently. He works, and I think about the money and how it’s spent.
So I say just think about what your insecure about and go from there. Good luck OP
I’m only 27 with one kid and married and one thing I have learned is money will not buy you happiness no matter the dream. My husband and I worked long hours before our son was born. After he was born we continued those long hours bc we thought we were doing the right thing saving up for our dream home, saving to go back to school, doing fun family things when we had time. In reality I learned I was missing out on a lot of my sons firsts. Missing family time that I couldn’t get back. I talked to my husband and at first he didn’t understand but I explained it a little further and he understood my feelings, and felt the same but just didn’t view it how I did.After the virus hit he changed jobs( started a career) not exactly his dream but something that he also loves doing and we get more time. I cut my hours enough to pay bills and have a little extra. We now have more time as a family, we don’t have as much money either, but our son is happy and we’re happy so that’s all that matters. My advice would be talk to him again. Tell him why you don’t like the idea but also listen to why he doesn’t like yours. Meet in the middle. Talk about ways you can meet in the middle. Sometimes we have to take the sacrifice with the decision so maybe he keeps the hour away job and the gym but he won’t work nights. Maybe you could pick up a side job so he doesn’t have to work the night. It’s all a give a take.
Losing him ??? Girl you have lost YOU ? I dont want to diminish your feelings …… but come on now
I mean. Has he ever given you any reason not to trust him?
Why do people always put money above everything else? He’s a provider, ok. But I rather not live a perfect life full of materialistic things and have my husband spend time with me and OUR children. Because surely if he’s not seeing you, he’s also not seeing the kids.
Ultimately it’s your decision to decide if a comfortable life is worth more than love and children growing up with two parents.
It honestly seems like the many new changes along with some of your needs being neglected, are causing you to be insecure. You guys need to find a new “nornal”. And if your husband has never given you a reason to distrust him, don’t start now and put that strain on your marriage. My parents worked opposite shifts my entire life and were married for 30 years. The time they DID make for each other meant more. You guys definitely need to have a conversation about whether or not these strains are worth what you’re giving up or if you guys can both make time to try and make it work with the new gym, new job, and new hours.
Both of these gals have amazing content to help you improve your relationship https://lauradoyle.org and https://jennyglick.com. I suggest looking at their free content and determining if any of it resonates. They both have very active free private Facebook groups as well
Your insecurities are your own, and shouldn’t be put onto your S/O or anyone else. The feelings are valid, but are yours to deal with. Seek therapy and learn to be able to do the gym alone with making it a huge deal
I bought a peloton and a weight set. BOOM! Money saved and I can workout anytime I want in my damn underwear if I like. 
I also run the neighborhood and do yoga.