Does anybody have co dependency issues? I think I do and its keeping me in a unhealthy marriage. We have a 2 year old son and I’m 31 weeks and 4 days pregnant. I’m afraid to leave because I know his family who hate me will try amd take the kids from me and they would most likely win because they have way more money then me. I can’t say why its an unhealthy marriage but I don’t know what to do anymore. I know I’m a damn good mom and I do what it take to care and provide for my son amd will do the same for the new baby. I go without a lot just to make sure my kids have what they need. I’m emotionally mentally and physically tired. I don’t have any family and not a lot of support.
Can you get counseling of some kind?
As long as you can provide for them and have a home for them the state wont just give your kids to them theres no reason for them to be given to them then it wont be that easy for them in court. I hope for the best. Sometimes you just gotta put people in their places.
As long as you can do for them they can not take your kids,
As long as you can give them a home, clothing and food, the basics, they will not give them your kids. Where I live, they do everything to make sure that both parents are involved equally.
Mama you can do anything you want, if it’s unhealthy for you and your children leave. There are plenty of organizations that help women with children and legal issues as well. Do you have public defenders in your area? If so contact one explain your situation they will most likely help you or point you in the right direction legal wise for custody of your children and other things as well.
There’s nothing wrong with asking for help! !trust me it’s a step forward! ! It’s not a weakness
Money isn’t gonna take your kids … proof of abuse and/or neglect will. If you are a great mom then you shouldn’t have anything to fear. LEAVE, take them babies with you and go to an abuse shelter, and let them help you get on your feet ! Don’t allow anyone to put fear in you.
How much money they have vs how much you have, has nothing to do with who would get the kids in court. Leave now. Id try to get the divorce before baby 2 is here. File for child support. And depending on your reasons for leaving him, file for file custody if you think the kids wont be safe with him.
Please go and try to talk to someone. I understand your fears and would be frightened, too. But talk to someone wherever it is you’re from and ask what type of help is available.
Try to find a discreet 800- number.
Don’t stay because of that fear. As long as you are able to support your kids and treat them right, the courts usually favor the mother. Good luck.
I’m sorry sweetie. But do what you have to do to be happy and the kiddos happy.
Even if you can’t provide for your kids you can learn to provide. Your health and the welfare of your children is more important then you staying where you are abuse in anyway. But basically I don’t care if you stay or not. I want to know if you want your children to pick someone just like what you have right now. Because if you shut up stay where you are. If not pick up find a women shelter let them help with education. Job, daycare. New place to stay, every thing you need. Be that brand nee women you need to be so your children are free as you are going to be. Do you think everyone who dreamed of freedom has everything they neef whrn they took off running NO. If they didn’t take the first step they would have never moved. If you believe in God and prayer the first step has already been taken. Be blessed sister you are a strong woman I know because you wrote asking for help now keep on stepping tight out the door. You can do this every one tells you to do it for you. Hog wash do it for your babies. I didn’t and my babies pick someone just like what I had but worse. I you know the Bible it talks about after casting out the devil or his evil spirits them go and wonder finding the house empty they bring back 7 more. Well that is what I let mine grow up in that mess. Thinking I had protected them. Once he was gone they choose ones 7 timed worse and ones who cut me out of their lives. You will get the biggest benefit in the long run but get them out now.
Their money cant hide his problems. Start saving for any attorney now and build your case before you leave. This is why I stayed with a lousy man for almost 10 years. I still won in court and was living in a weekly hotel at the time. Save texts, take pics, record what you can. Keep it somewhere besides your house. Please dont feel stuck.
Have your baby and get your stuff in order then make a plan to leave.
Trying to worry about this right now is just to much stress on you and the baby
I’m a 15 year survivor myself and have 4 kids! My situation finally ended 17 months ago! I would LOVE to talk to you on messenger if you’re willing!! Nothing is more crucial than emotional support and information in this type of situation! PLEASE do not hesitate! If I have the opportunity too help ANY woman in this situation, even if it’s just too chat! I am MORE than willing!!
Red flag to me is that you can’t say why it’s unhealthy. The thing about something that is unhealthy is that it can be made to be healthy again.
It sounds to me like you’re in more need of counseling so you can work on any co dependence that may be happening in the relationship. Without you knowing why it’s an unhealthy relationship and no mention of abuse or other major issues, it doesn’t seem like divorce is the next step IMO. You need to figure or what YOU need to work on to bring to the table and he needs to work on that too. Treat the actual cause of the issue and not the symptom.
If you stay, you’re teaching your kid how women should be treated. Your baby, if it’s a girl, will learn just how little value she has. You choose. I left as a single mom of 7. You can leave with 2.
Please pm me if you need to talk.
I suggest you talk to the social worker to advise you to help you find some place to go after you leave him that would be a safe environment for you and your children that way you have somebody legal on your side help you get an attorney that way if you go to go to court you have a witness at your side who was there from the beginning and by the way if you can you know those little cameras advertised on TV if you could get a couple of those to place around to record things that way you would have evidence of an unsafe environment that you left so right now start Gathering evidence and start finding out your legal rights what you can do where you can go before you make a move
Why can’t you say why your relationship w your husband is unhealthy? Do you just have a vague feeling or is there something specific you’d rather not say? I’d try individual counseling and then maybe marriage counseling first. Do you live with your in-laws? Do you have to see them often? Did you feel this way before you got pregnant? If it’s an abusive situation (mentally, physically or emotionally), get out. But if you’re vague about why, talk to a therapist to help figure things out. Good luck and I hope you have an easy birth & easy baby #2.
I was able to leave once before because he was arrested for domestic abuse on me he beat the st out of me several times. It start after we lost our twins. But because of his family threatening to take our son from me and them saying if he for back on his meds for his mental health issues that things woukd get better I went back. He has not hit my physically sense then nut has thrown stuff when he hets angry. He will call me a lazy b*h calls me every name in the book. I’m on disability for many reasons but am trying to find a job I can do from home. I was raised in the state system so that’s why I have no family