Am I doing the right thing by leaving my relationship?

The best thing my mom ever did was divorce my biological father. It made room for the man I actually call my dad. I had a much better life than I would have had my mom stayed.

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Yes i think you are doing the right thing by leaving.

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Leave. I also met my now ex husband when I was 15 and he was 17. We were together for a total of 12 years. After having our son(I was 20 when I had him) he started changing, saying things like we were holding him back from the things he really wanted to do with his life. It stuck with me but I blew it off. Two years later we got pregnant with our daughter and he left me 6 months pregnant. I didn’t have a job, no daycare, no anything but he didn’t care bc he finally was getting to do what he wanted. It just spiraled from there, I was young and a dummy and didn’t know who I was either. He was me and my everything. I finally left in 2018 and I’m so much happier, still don’t know who I am but working on that. I’ll never let someone control me again. I’d rather be single than deal with that crap again.

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Girl go be with the man who makes you happy. :heart:
The best thing I did was leave my kids dad. I stayed because of the kids but was so miserable. I met an amazing man, also at work and I couldnt be happier! :heart:

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Never stay with someone who gives you an ultimatum. Period.

Leave both you need to find yourself first
before you can really
be Happy.

Yes you are leave but also give yourself time to heal

You only have one life. I realized after my second marriage and struggling to find myself and who I really was and not just a mother and a wife but myself that I have things I want to accomplish in life. Putting yourself first is necessary. You will get no greater satisfaction in life by doing so. I never dreamed I would be able to achieve the things in my life. I only wish I had done it sooner

You have to do what works for you. But know that once you leave there is no going back

You cheated, so I’d be more inclined to say HE deserves better.

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First of all, I just want to say it was dead fucking wrong of him to entertain a relationship with a 16 year old when he was 21. Say what you want about age being a number, but the mans mind was far more developed than your’s ever could have been at that time in both of yalls lives. Secondly, I’m not going to say whether or not you should leave because that’s entirely up to you. I will say that it’s fully possible for you to have feelings for someone else while caring very much for the person you’re with. I also believe that you deserve to be loved fully and not due to the fear of losing you. Besides that, who’s to say how long that lasts after your coworker isnt in the picture? Look at yourself, are you truly happy? Do you think you’d be happier on your own(without a partner in the picture for the time being)?

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You were already doing everything why do you need him? Tell him to hit the bricks you can stay and he can go!

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I know exactly how you feel. And I have been in your shoes. Married my high school bf at age 18 while 9 months pregnant.

My advice is seek a marriage counselor. At least try and work on things if you still love him. Maybe having that unbiased person will help. If it doesn’t, then at least you tried.

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You have 1 foot out the door. Continuing a friendship with co worker and keeping your husband would never work because you will compare one to the other and that’s not fair. Take it one day at a time.
Do pro and con list of your current situation. What are your goals? Where do you wanna be 1 yr from now, 5 yrs from now. And will that be with your husband? Maybe a break is a good idea but you need a break from both to figure out what you want with out persuasion.

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You have taken all you can take so don’t feel bad cause you have left your husband. He can’t provide you with support, affection so you have to go elsewhere, you are human. If your friend provides you with this and makes you happy then go for it. A husband should be providing all necessities to his wife so that she is not looking for someone else. Your husband said “I do” so he should know that he took you to be his wife, his partner. He has 3 children that he helped make, he needs to take responsibility in helping with them as well. Don’t let him rule you, you make the decision on your own what you want to do!!! I wouldn’t stay just because you have children. If you are done with loving him then go find another man that excepts you for who you are. Don’t stay and mentally be drained by emotional verbal abuse, you are your own boss!!! If he isn’t going to be the man of the house and do what he is suppose to do then you as the woman needs to move on in life so that you can be happy, you aren’t getting any younger. Don’t worry about him whether he is happy or not. He just wants to make your life miserable. Don’t let him do that, you find peace within yourself.

Girl leave if that makes you happy. I was basically in the same situation and I am the happiest I have been in years. :woman_shrugging: Sometimes things dont work out

No. Keep your job and get a lawyer. Do not leave the house. Get all the money you can from the divorce. Some may say negative things about that but who cares. You only live once, be happy and live your life with your kids. You will probably have a much healthier relationship with everyone once you divorce. Sounds like he’s not happy either. Don’t let more and more years go by. It’s hard when you have kids and get married young, you don’t get to discover who you are. You will find someone else who will love and care for you. Good luck!

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Make sure you never leave your kids. But yes I would say he needs to go. He needs to leave . Silent treatment is abuse and ultimatums are not really signs of a healthy Relationship. Can you get a good divorce lawyer to help.

Okay darling let me give you my opinion first I will start this off with I’m a 64 year old man I have been around for a while first we will start off with if you are staying with your husband for the good of your children you’re not doing your children any favors children are rather resilient they will bounce back you have to do what you feel is best for yourself if you are depressed and resentful your unhappiness will affect your children you have to do what is best for you just keep telling yourself that you are a strong woman and you can do this you have to remember that idiot line if momma ain’t happy there’s nobody happy how silly that sounds it is so true

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Yes, leave. You need a healthy relationship. Once you leave, you will not regret one bit of your decision of leaving.

You were a child yourself when you committed to this marriage , too young. You have produced children and worked too, all the time not being supported. You have a voice that was not being heard. Your husband has lost his most precious asset-you. I stayed in similar circumstances for almost 40 years, our children were damaged by a childish petulant, selfish man and an unfulfilled,unhappy woman. Your co-worker was a distraction,but you need to be happy for your children’s sake. Leave,take your kids,dont look back. Good luck.

He took advantage of you at a young age… 16 and 21, that’s not ok. Even back then. If you’re not happy, he’s not happy, your kids won’t be happy. Do what makes you happy, while still keeping your kids as your top priority. Try raising them as partners instead of husband and wife.

You emotionally left the relationship an no matter what now you will not feel the same. Its time for you to leave so you both can find someone who is willing to put 50/50 no cheating, no taking for granted, willing to make compromises.

Know your worth! Get out while you can, no matter what he says, things are not likely to ever change. Been there, done that!

You stepped out on your marriage cause sounds like your husband checked out! Of course this man is going to sweet talk you and say the right things to you. I’m sure you told him all you want is love and attention. But whatever you chose make sure you are willing to accept the consequences cause there’s no guarantee this new relationship will work after the lust has faded away…