Not one bit. As a recovering addict and now a mom… I 100% agree I wouldn’t let my kids go over. See if you can get him to a Learn To Cope or Alanon meeting to learn more about his mothers disease.
you are not wrong. Stand your ground.
No you are NOT wrong. Your job is to protect your children, not her.
1 Like
Absolutely not. That’s the stuff you don’t mess around with. I could see if you were being kinda petty saying “she keeps them up late and eat cake at 7am” because, at least in my opinion, a grandparent is supposed to break rules a bit and have the fun house. But drugs possibly laying around? I can’t even chance that. Then you throw alcohol into the mix where the only other adult is drunk, which is a nightmare in itself, but you got the worry of alcohol also sitting around in reach. I don’t blame you AT ALL. Stand your ground and don’t give in. He’s gonna have to let you have this one. The kids can visit with your husband, tell him if HE stays there so they’re supervised and he can see nothing is around, that way they can still see grandma like he wants but you don’t have to feel like You’re sacrificing your kids safety and your sanity. I wish you the best with this one, mama ! 
I completely understand his side and your side. There’s got to be a balance. He can still have a relation ship with his mother and you can still protect your children. Have her come to your house. Make sure she knows that she is not to have any drugs on her while in your home. Don’t allow the kids in the vehicle with her driving. They can also meet at public places, have lunch or dinner together. Take the kids to the park together. If he and she can’t agree to those terms which is only fair, then it’s going to always be a fight with him and it will lead to serious relationship problems. You have to protect your children. That’s the number one priority
4 Likes
Stand your ground . I did it 20 years ago and have no regrets . Teach your children the right things in life. Husband can go visit her on his own. Stand your ground & mean it. Longstanding toxic people know what they’re doing. They’re good at ruining families and marriages. The fact that your husband thinks it’s okay to show up to her house with your children and drugs in the house is ludicrous. Shame on him for thinking that is okay. If you can’t deal with visiting her on his own and I guess you’ll have to deal with doing what’s right for you and the children without him.
Taking your children to a known drug and alcohol involvement is a bad idea …where there is drugs there is guns…where there is alcohol…there is someone drunk driving…to go get more…the state will take your kids in a heartbeat for this bad discussion…
2 Likes
Maybe meet out for lunch or dinner with her so they do see each other. Or go there every now and again but make sure you are there Incase you need to intervene and leave
1 Like
Tell him you will take the kids with no problem and no argument right after the police search the house and his mother passes a drug test to see her grandchildren because she loves them and him enough to get clean and clean her house out for them and him for a few hours so you can all visit as a family and you will be more than willing to cooperate. Good luck and best wishes. Many prayers 
Merry Christmas 
2 Likes
No you just be safe . I be the same
No you are not wrong!
No you are absolutely right. My mil was the same and we cut out my husbands entire side of the family and we are so much happier. You may need to consider taking the kids and leaving if he wont respect your wishes. You could get your kids taken from you for allowing them to be around her.
3 Likes
Nope. Allow her to come see them at your home being sober. I have no tolerance for people on drugs around my kids.
2 Likes
The son is 100% enabling his mother by having contact with her and allowing her to see her grandkids. She needs to be told until she goes into rehab and gets clean and sober you will have nothing to do with her. Addicts need to hit rock bottom before they get better. I know this sounds harsh but for the sake of the family it should happen. Believe me been there done it.
There is a difference between not allowing them at her home and not allowing a relationship. Allow and encourage the relationship, but in a setting you can control.
2 Likes
Not wrong at all. Just because it was okay for your husband doesn’t mean you need to put the kids through that. Protect them at all costs.
3 Likes
Oh no your not wrong Ihad to keep my children from my toxic family also
1 Like
it is his mother & he probably grew up with her this way, I fully understand where you are coming from, Have her met you & the kids in a park, or mall or diner & let her spend the time with her grandkids, along with you there
Nope.
He wants to have a relationship, great. You don’t have to have one. It never ends well when people don’t want help.
Maybe he should step enabling her?
And I’d say it just like that.
3 Likes
Nope no way your home is safer
1 Like
No your not. These situations always come to a head, be ready. And protect those babies, no matter what
2 Likes
Girl I so relate to this!!! Do what you feel is best. Kids come first! They are your kids and you know best
You are NOT wrong. Your husband is. I don’t care if his or his precious mommy’s feelings get hurt as long as the kids are safe and don’t have to put up with that crap. Why should they have to be exposed to that?
1 Like
Nope and don’t let their gaslighting make you think otherwise. It’s just manipulation.
1 Like
Nope. You are dead right. Those kids should be nowhere near her.
Young one - stick to your guns. You control the environment that your kids are exposed to. You protect your babies as best you can - because life will expose them soon enough. You are not wrong- until your husband realizes his parents are “sick” - will he understand.
Nope. Your kids come first. I don’t let my son around people like that either, regardless of their title to my child. Don’t feel guilty. You’re doing the right thing.
1 Like
No your not! What if they go there and get into the drugs? That would be very scary cant they visit at your house or a park or a public place instead of her house? I would not allow them over there
Say that you only will be ok with them being there if you are
1 Like
You’re not wrong I understand that’s his mother and he wants to maintain a relationship with her. If she wants to see your kids then you should be allowed to control which environment therein when she visits with them. And obviously you have determined that her house is not a safe environment for your children because of the drugs and alcohol
ABSOLUTELY NOT. they do not need to see drug and excessive alcohol use being normalized.
No. Protect those babies
.
No way
Keep ur self n kids outta there.
No not at all! You need to protect your children.
Make sure your children are protected first!
No reason they can’t see family, but must be around a responsible adult who can realise any danger or anything that will scare them!
She can’t be that bad if he still wants her in his life. Not all addicts are bad people