Is this a toxic relationship? My boyfriend and I have been together for two years and have a six-month-old son together. We just got an apartment, and I’ve paid for everything, bills, and furniture because he wasn’t working. The money he got from his friends or family he spent on weed and alcohol even when he knew our baby needed formula or diapers. He doesn’t have a license and refuses to get one and drives my car without my permission! He calls me lazy even though I work two jobs and go to school and says that the court would give our son to him because I’m so young, is this true? His family is always drinking and not financially stable, either. I cannot leave when he’s around because he won’t let me go! I’ve told him if he doesn’t change I’m going to leave and he threatens to call the police & CPS. He does not allow me to go anywhere without him, or else he accuses me of cheating on him. He always goes through my phone trying to find something, he never does. He barely helps out with our baby; he rather plays video games than help me when I ask.
Yes, and he sounds like a loser
Leave …unless your guilty of something let him call the police and CPS.
Girl I would run as fast as I could away from him. It’s not going to change.
You need to leave. Not only is he just flat lazy. Hes a going to start abusing you or that baby if you dont leave
Leave that’s definitely toxic and most likely the state would give you custody, you are financially stable.
Why is this even a question, some of the posts up here are like the same exact story line time and time again, I’m sick of reading these.
“My boyfriend hits me and doesn’t help with bills and we have a child together, I’m really miserable. Should I leave him?”
Does a bear shit in the woods? Jesus fuck
If you have to ask if it’s toxic…then pretty sure you know the answer…YES
CPS can’t take your baby bc of your age. He’s just saying things to scare you into staying with him. Last I checked that’s not healthy behavior. Make a plan for safety and get out ASAP.
No shit thats abusive. Cops and CPS cant do anything, thats your child that YOU provide for. Leave when hes gone ASAP because you and your kid deserve better
Kick him out. He’s a liability to you and your son. Driving your vehicle without a license? And now that you’ve admitted you know that he does it, that opens you up for trouble when he gets caught.
Yes, run and don’t look back. And no the courts won’t give him custody because you are young. He’s just trying to scare you into staying. 
Take your baby and get out. He’s mentally and emotionally abusing you. You dont deserve it and your child doesnt need to grow up thinking that behavior is acceptable
Yes it is toxic! He sounds very lazy! He definatly wont get the kid because of drugs … leave as fast as you can!
I’m just gonna comment on the legal part…the moment you stop letting him scare the crap out of you with the cops and cps that’s the moment you’ll see him come unhinged.i dealt with this for YEARS scared they would take my kids even tho there was NO reason they could or would…next time he tells you hes gonna call them make sure you tell him DO IT ! STOP THREATENING ME AND DO IT THEN.he wont…if he does its gonna make him look bad in the courts eyes cuz by the way you’re describing it CPS would have zero reason to take your kids from you…and in order for them to take them there has to be SERIOUS issues with bruises or filth.stand up for yourself.
Girl he sounds like a piece
Of crap. Do yourself a favor and leave. Let him call the cops and CPS. If you have nothing to hide don’t worry. The court will never give him full custody so don’t believe his bullshit lies. You are good by yourself since you are already doing it all. Good luck girl!
Take one day, file for custody of your child and leave.
Don’t put up with this. They will not take your child from you.
Wow he sounds very controlling. I don’t see a court system choosing him over you especially if your saying he doesn’t have a job and could not pass a drug test. Sounds like you need to have him leave and ask the complex to change the locks so he cannot come back in.
Don’t be stupid it’s going to cost you a life of your child and you know that
Run as fast as you can
Yes sounds very toxic…kinda sounds like a narcissist to me
Yes it’s toxic. Don’t put up with this for your kids and future sake
He sounds like a loser and I would run he isn’t going to change its only going to get worse seek legal advice on the down low aswell no doubt you might a restraining order because it will get ugly
If you need to ask then you already know it’s not good!
Leave! You and your son deserve better 
Leave and don’t worry about his threat even if you have to go when he is sleeping or in the shower just go alot of help for you and your child
Everything about this is toxic and don’t let him scare you about CPS and PD bcus you’ve done nothing wrong. I’d get out asap. He sounds like he’s pretty close to getting physical. Run.
Hun he don’t want that baby. Go do you & have a great life & someone that deserves a hard workin momma like you will find you.
My biggest question, and this is the only question anyone who posts about this should ask… (to yourself) “If I feel the need to ask strangers on FB if my relationship is good or bad, don’t I already know the answer?”… people in good relationships do not need to ask anyone if it is toxic or not, let alone a bazillion strangers who don’t know you or him or the entire situation. Follow your intuition.
Get out as fast as you can
The court will not give the baby to him. You arent married and he has no stable income or anything to support the child so all rights will go to you as the custodial guardian. As soon as you leave, (not if but when) go and ask for assistance for the little one. Do not feel ashamed (I did when I left my dad father) at all to do that. Go and get what you and that precious baby deserve.
Nope… Get out and away from hom
All they’d have to do is drug test him. 
no court would give a baby to a jobless abuser who smokes weed instead of providing for his family
Leave as fast as you can
If you have to ask if this is toxic then you need counseling.
I say call them frist ask for help and tell them what you told us.
Definitely toxic but i think deep down you already know that, just take a look at the evidence, hes tearing you guys down youre working your ass off no ones gunna take your baby from you 50% chance he may not even try. Hes not helping your family succeed dont let him be the reason you start to fail get away from him
This sounds toxic, and if you can already pay everything on your own without him then I think you should leave or make him leave actually … there’s no reason to work so hard and support someone that keeps you trapped and accuses you of cheating … you already have the most important thing down you can financially support you and tour child … I’d run
Is his name on y’alls leave? If not kick him out. If he wont go call the cops and have him escorted out. If he is on the lease talk to the apartment manager about getting his name taken off then kick his butt out.
Wow… It’s not toxic. It’s hell… GET OUT!
In some states he would have to file for custody. Record everything.
Do you really need to ask ? Kick him t fk out .
Grab that baby and go.
Leave. Find a women and children’s shelter. They will guide you.
Leave and take your baby, when and if he takes you to court prove that you and your baby are better off, you have a job the baby’s in daycare you have a place to live, if he has no car and no job they will only give visitation to him. He can’t actully take care of a baby on his own when he can’t even take care of himself, no matter how old you are
Not a relationship this is a slave camp
Leave him now…he is a controlling narcissist n no the court will not give ur baby to him cuz of ur age…to be honest he wont even call he is just saying that to scare u…my baby daddy has been threatening the same thing for 11 years…he isnt gonna do anything n he knows he can scare u with it…throw his ass out now…go to the court house n get a eviction notice n have the cops come remove him if he dont leave…he is no good for u n it will only get worse as he realizes what he can get away with…run now
Leave as soon as you physically can, it will be his loss!!!
Break the console over his head then leave
Yes not only is he a loser he is a narcissist. Look up the signs. You shouldnt be asking if it is toxic because it already is. NO the courts wouldnt award him full custody due to him not having a financial way to provide for them. You could also mention drugs and alcohol use and they would look into it. Also if you are able to leave make sure you take what you need and dont ever look back. You need to do what’s best for you and your child first and always. I went thru this same crap and ended up in a hospital, also knew he was cheating and when confront he says I planted the girl there to set him up? I’m sorry what? Thankfully I had no kids with him. Make a police report and file for a restraining order. IT WILL GET WORSE. The longer you stay the harder it is to get out and you dont need your baby seeing their mommy getting mistreated or hurt.
Yes, it is toxic. I don’t know why people are laugh reacting this as this is a serious matter. I hope you leave & find better💖
U already know the answer to ur question
Get out, run GIRL RUN!
Leave asap. You are in a toxic relationship. There are places you can go for help. Have an escape plan. Do NOT tell him where u are going. Call 911. Do something to get you and your son out of this situation. You dont want your son growing up and thinking this is ok to do to women. You need to be strong enough to leave and give you &your son a better life. You both deserve better.
I’m a DV advocate in NJ. I urge you to seek help from a local dv agency. It sounds like he could be a narcissist, educate yourself fully about NPD. Make a plan and get out. You deserve more than this relationship can give you.
Why did you get an apartment with him? Hopefully, you didn’t put him on the lease. Get him evicted.
Ditch his ass …file custody papers dirst…u have been the provider…u will get to keep ur son…get him out…hes just dragging u down…i have been there…u will just hate him more everyday…u got this
Get rid hun he’s not a man just a boy playing games you can get help from police and one stop shop they will help
I think you answered your own question. If you’re looking for someone to tell you to go, GO! A women’s shelter would be your best option. They will help you with EVERYTHING!
Lmao… tell em go ahead and call the police or cps if he wishes. See where that gets him. You got yourself another kid until you decide to get rid of him. Congrats on baby #2.
Is this really a question? L e a v e . he doesnt even have a job why would they give him yhe baby? They wouldnt.
Toxic with a capital T!! Get out as soon as you can!!!
Your doing an incredible job working two jobs n studying while you have a baby. Go you mama ! You know deep down what you got to do. You are stronger than you think. Best of luck.
Leave when you can or when he is gone have someone change the locks
Leave. Find a new place, put in your notice to leave and then just go on a day he’s not around. Move your things out bit by bit so he doesn’t notice
If your not going to leave I’d atleast start collecting some sort of proof for when shit hits the fan… because it will
Call a domestic violence agency
If he isnt on the lease, kick him out. If he is, you leave.
Get a plan together and leave, don’t tell him beforehand.
That is toxic. When he takes your car without your permission report it stolen and change the locks on your house. Don’t let him come back! You are worth way more than this babygirl!
First off, if he tries to take you to court for the baby, let them know that he smokes and drinks regularly. They will not give him the baby. And that is a toxic relationship, it’s not going to end well
He must go until he grows up by then you’ll know you can do it on your own and you can!!
Very toxic you are stable . Take yourself and your baby and get out.
Leave. He wont be able to take your son since he has no reliable source of income.
You don’t need to ask because you already know. He is very very childish. It’s time for him to grow up. Get away from him.
Immature. U need to move on gal.
You have 2 children. You can do bad by yourself.
Get out of the relationship while you, still alive, GOD bless you 
Leave and file for full custody
sounds like its him that court would have a problem with. You should threaten to take full custody. How is he going to provide for a child alone muchless afford a lawyer to prove that you’re unfit. Because that’s what he would need to do, and you clearly aren’t. He would also need to pass a drug test to get unsupervised visits in most states. 
He cant take baby because you’re young. If hes older then why the hell isnt he grown? Keep doing good for your baby momma!
Take your baby and RUN to the nearest shelter!!!
Girl you better run!
Trying to manipulate you my ex tried but i took a chance . He was a wuss against the police
Sounds like emotional abuse girl get out hes toxic hes poisoning you and your family get out asap also if you are laeaving without him there from my experince call the none emergency line and you can have a cop stand and suppervice while you get your stuff out just in case
Leave this piece of poo before you get stuck. There is no way he will get any kids. Get out now!
please leave him. you can clearly do it without him. he’s making empty threats and it isn’t worth your time ! leave now before your baby can understand what’s going on
Do you even have to ask. ? This is a sick type of relationship. The baby don’t need to be around drunks. Move on without this guy. Don’t let your kids think it’s ok to not work and drink and do drugs.
Sounds like you need to kick him the fk out girl and ring the police to remove him, go to courts and get custody of baby too!
WHY are you allowing this person, correction, this LOSER to treat you this way???
Get a grip. Young or not, when he gets in YOUR CAR, with no license, YOU need to call police & report it stolen. If he causes an accident, they can come back & hold you responsible!
YOU need to tell him to get the drugs & alcohol out of YOUR CHILDRENS HOME.
YOU need a lock on your phone & tell him to keep his hands off.
YOU need to tell him he has no business telling you when & where you can go~
& YOU need to tell him to get off his childish ass & get a job or GET OUT!
The only way you will get your child taken from you, is if YOU do not stand up & protect your childs safety & welfare first & foremost. By staying in the above situations, you are putting your life & your childs life at risk. These are ALL RED FLAGS of Domestic Abuse!
If ur not married most states mom has sole custody
Save all receipts from what you spend and check stubs to prove you had the income to do so . Demand he split costs with you and if he doesn’t then make note of that and leave when hes out and dont fight with him around the kid ever , even if he does you dont .
Absolutely, get out.
It doesn’t matter what anyone says in this forum. You will not leave because your not there yet. Sad woman will justify this kind of behavior.
Even if you have to live with a friend or family for a short time. And please call violence intervention they can help you a lot. But please leave!
Girl you need to go. It doesn’t matter how young you are. If you can prove that you and baby have somewhere to stay that is decent, food, diapers, etc that baby needs - you will be fine. Especially if you tell them about the alcohol & drugs. They’ll drug test him & if he fails he’s screwed. 
You need to run away fast! And File for custody
Why would you even post this…
He can’t get your kid if u are not a unfit mom…and it sounds as if u r not…call police…tell them he is abusive and u wanna leave…they can stay their while u pack a few things or either they can make him leave.
If he doesn’t let you leave call the cops have them arrest him cuz hes basically holding you hostage. And you know you’re in a toxic relationship. He can call cops cps and tell them what? Oh shes trying to leave me
Document all expenses out. His lack of employment and efforts. But ultimately you and your son need to get out of that situation. Right before you leave, go to family court and get a temp placement of custody until you goto court. He isn’t helping any and only self reflecting on you his own issues. Boy, bye!