If I keep begging for help, am I the problem? Can I not handle motherhood or what? Bc it blows my mind everytime I ask for help I get told this is what I wanted. This is motherhood. I work.
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It’s not wrong to ask for help ! Single mothers always need help if they need it. I’m a single mother my daughter’s dad wasn’t never around only when he felt like it he passed away in February this year but like I said he wasn’t never around
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All mothers need heip.The fathers should be responsable too.
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Well, the first question that should be asked, is, are you doing it alone or do you have a partner?
It takes a village really means it. It’s nice to have support some where… if you don’t, your doing an awesome job besides.
It is your job but if you need help then you need help. As long as it’s for every little thing every day then there shouldn’t be a problem.
Us mommas need lots of support. Youre not wrong for needing help.
It’s never wrong to ask for help
we all need help sometimes, maybe try to evaluate who your asking and evaluate yourself as well… what are you asking how and do you always expect a yes?
I don’t understand why people are laughing at this post. Just because we can do it alone doesn’t mean we should have to. I hope you’re able to find support
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There is absolutely nothing wrong with a mother needing help
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They say it takes a village for a reason. I always ask for help when I need it with no shame. I am a better mother when I’m not burnt out
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Unpopular opinion - Depends what you’re needing help with and how often.
To a certain extent, it is what you signed up for 
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Is it the daddy? Id tell him to f off. How dare he.
Nope this sh*t is a partnership
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There is nothing wrong with asking for help even in the 1940’s my grandpa had 2 jobs, my grandma had a job and still needed help. They had 8 kids they never asked for help but neighbors and friends would help them anyway.
No girl ask for help. Sooo much more is expected of us moms now a days. We’re expected to work like we don’t have a family, and care for our families like we don’t work. There is NO SHAME in asking for help. I’m a sahm and I still ask for help! My husband works a lot of hours, but when he’s home he does his part! But since I’m with the kids a lot it gets stressful. I’ve asked for help from my mil or my mom, and now from my sister. A few times from close friends too. I always feel bad asking but when the helpcomes through I feel SO much relief.
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Motherhood was never designed to do alone
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It takes 2 to make a child, so it takes 2 to raise a child. Everyone deserves help and a break. Kids are HARD.
What are you asking for help with that people are giving you a hard time about? If it’s to watch your kid so you can go out with friends and party, then yeah, this is what you signed up for and that expectation is probably gonna have to change for you. But if you need someone to watch the kid for an hour so you can catch up on laundry and dishes, or just take a long bath to relax, that’s completely acceptable.
You shouldn’t be always begging for help. But also depends who your asking, if your asking the father for help that’s a different story he should always be there to help, but if you just wanted a baby becuase you wanted a baby and didn’t relise the struggles it entails then you kinda brought it on yourself. Kids are hard … real hard but there are plently of people that do it all by themselves
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That is gaslighting and you are in a domestic hostage situation. Your child is being used as leverage against you and a way to make you an indentured servant. Men will knock you up on purpose, even if they say they aren’t doing that, just to bring you down a notch or 10. To ruin your life. This is literally part of their thinking. They will be forever attached to you even if they don’t marry you. They get access to your life forever via that child. Protect your womb, ladies. Entrapment for domestic labor at its finest. That man doesn’t love you. He doesn’t even like you.
Also, we used to be a village raising children but patriarchy and capitalism destroyed that. You are doing the work of a village alone. No wonder you are struggling. You are not broken, the system is broken and men broke it on purpose for money and power at our expense. It hurts them, too, but they’ll never admit it.
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All mother need help. We can’t do it all alone that why children have fathers.
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I want to first say, you should never ask your spouse for help BECAUSE child rearing and taking care of the house is equally their responsibility. If they’re not pulling their weight, why did they chose any of this to begin with?
When my kids were really little I needed help sooooooo bad, especially after my second was born. Idk why we’re expected to do this alone when for as long as humans have been around, they helped each other.
Never feel bad for asking for what you need. I’m so sorry no one in your life sees that you need help or helps when you ask. That is so isolating. 
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Ask for help. You are not a Marvel heroine. You can’t do it all. Babies are demanding and it takes a long time for your emotional and physical strength to return to anything like normal. Anything that takes a load off your back is worth trying. Take any help offered. Daddy should help too. Grandparents are often just waiting to be asked. As long as you show appreciation and don’t ask too often, many people are glad to help and get baby cuddles.
I was a single mum. I had no help at all. I never left my son with a babysitter. I was a childminder to other children. 10 different children a week. 3 a day 2 under 1. Foreign students as well. Ran a child’s playscheme. When he was a baby. Took my son with me. When he saw his dad I renovated two houses. I worked ALL the time. I get frustrated with people who have just 1 child and make out they have a right to help.I think some people are desperate to get away from their child or does the thing where the child wakes up early but they stay in bed and ignore it for hours. Leaving it to cry. Then they have a angry insecure needy child. Which they then are desperate to get away from. So it becomes a vicious circle.
The thing was I adored children and did it as a job before I had my own. I was a nanny to two children. 6 days a week. Worked in playschenes nurseries etc. So having 1 child seemed easy. And I knew what I wA getting into. But people have different personalities. So people might be more introverted and find having to be with some one all the time too much. Or more Extraverted and need to go out more to party and mix with others. So children are not for everyone. Try before you buy ! If you have no experience if children. You are in for big shock.
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That’s like saying a dr wanted his carrer so they shouldn’t complain about the long hours or no sleep or the difficulty of the job. Med students work hard their entire lives just to get into med school. But itd HARD. After years of working hard to get there, some crack under the pressure. Some reach out to family n friends for support cuz its so hard n they start doubting they can do it. The long hours are getting to them. The stress of the job/wlrk is getting to them. Seeing ppl sick and dieing is getting to them. And no one says “suck it yup, this is what u asked for” no. Ppl give them support! Why is motherhood so different?? U can want something so badly than struggle to get thru it wen u do get it, snd theres nothing wrong with that! U can want something with all ur heart, but that wont make it a breeze to get thru. We have seen what tragedies Happen when moms dont ask for help, than everyone wants to say “i wish she would of just reached out” this is why so many don’t! Im so so sorry ur struggling. Its completely normal and theres nothing wrong with needing help with ANYTHING
Depends who and what ur asking help with. Are u asking ur family for cheap or free babysitting? Is your spouse slacking off? Do u have a spouse ur leaning on?
Saying I work at the end of your question makes me think it’s related to whose watching your kid while ur gone at work.
My oldest sister has the mindset that my mother is free childcare and her siblings are too if she’s not available. If we don’t all jump she loses her shit. If that’s how your acting no this is what you signed up for this is your job to figure it out.
I don’t think u put enough context in your question. You need to figure it out. If childcare is the issue try first 5 or other gov programs. If you make too much for assistance through childcare aid then you need to pay up.
No you are not the problem. Everyone needs help, especially moms. We do a lot, and we didn’t make them on our own. We get over stimulated, is it tiring, of course. But the best thing ever. Ask for help, if it isnt given ask someone else or talk to the person that isnt
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If I got that comment I
would say YES this is what I wanted and want so it’s so wonderful I’d love to share it with my best people!!!
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You asked for help that was the help he’s said no thank you and that won’t change. I’ve been here I wanted children and when I struggled he reminded me this was my choice. So moving forward you must decide if your going to have more alone or move forward in hopes you find a family man.
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We all need help , being a mom is difficult. It’s not we don’t love and adore our kids but sometimes it’s just to much . Your not alone
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I don’t know you but I would absolutely help you. I know it’s hard and mentally it is the hardest thing you’ll ever do! Sorry. You deserve help.
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Motherhood is having your needs met less than anyone in the household and it wears you down! Don’t be afraid to ask for help! It honestly sounds like you’re asking the wrong people for it if that’s their response.
It’s hard to say when there’s not enough information. Who are you asking for help and what kind of help are you always asking for? Are you looking for someone to watch the kids for you, financial help? Is it your husband/kids father that isn’t helping you and making you feel like you should be able to do it on your own? If it is, he is wrong. That’s his child/ren too and he’s just as responsible as you are and should be helping you out. Is it family/friends? Unfortunately, they have no obligation to help you. Would it be nice once in awhile if they could watch your kids for a bit, yes (if that’s the kind of help you’re asking for) but again they have no obligation and I’m sure it gets old after so many times, if you’re constantly asking. Are you asking strangers for help a lot? I mean it’s really hard to give advice without knowing these things but if it’s not a husband/kids father situation and people are mentioning that you are asking for too much help, I’d probably take a moment to reflect on that and see if maybe I am and what I could do differently to better my situation.
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There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking for help.
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My dad was the same way when my kids were babies. It was to the point my kids had to go into foster care for a few months while I got help for ppd because “they’re your kids and why do you need a break from your own kids” and we lived in the same apartment building at this time as well 
just because its what you wanted doesnt mean its not hard. People want jobs, but complain about going, people want a house, but complain about cleaning it or the finances, people want to get married but then complain about their partner every now and then. That is such a stupid thing to say to someone. Everything is hard sometimes.
Motherhood is hard, and not everyone has help. Some do it alone because they have no choice.
Some people don’t have supportive families.
But every parent I know including me has asked for help over and over again, ask for help.
I’m not good at asking for help even though I truly need it sometimes. I commend you for doing so. It takes a village. Don’t let ANYONE make you feel bad for wanting your children but still needing help.
No context.
Who…are you ‘begging’ for help from? Is there a father in the picture or SM? What kind of help are you wanting/expecting and how often?
Motherhood is always difficult, a 24/7 responsibility… that much is true and its okay to ask for some help sometimes however its impossible to answer the question specifically as written.
Don’t feel bad for asking. Everyone needs help, especially working mom’s. The economy we live in makes it extremely hard to live on a one income basis. While some women want the career life, there are those that don’t have a choice and have to have a career while trying to raise their children. I’ve had a lot of family ask for help and generally it’s the way they ask or it’s their attitude towards asking for help that can be off putting, but even then, I’d never tell them this is the life they chose. That’s just rude. Time management, better friends and even look inside your community- You could find a lot of help that you didn’t know was there.
This is a confusing post…depends who puts you down for needing help…your Mother? Mine was a smothering Mother so criticized because I did not Mother like her…
Your MIL…mine was critical so criticized everything I did as a Mom
Your spouse? I ended up being s single Mom after I left my marriage long story…
So I built a great life for my daughter and myself 1500 miles from critical toxicity…
I am independent it is hard for me to ask for help
But there is family of chance and family of choice …the family of choice were amazing they were…are my people
As a mama you can ask for help til blue in the face but if you don’t have that family support or any support system you most likely won’t get it… Sad to say, for some, this is just life. I have my kids 24/7. No breaks, no downtime…No real help
Honestly need a lot more info here
How often are you “begging for help” and what for?
Someone told me I must not have a bond with my child because I asked them for a little help. I also had an emergency c section so he said that’s maybe why I wasn’t bonded in his opinion. Some people are full of 
. We aren’t made to do it all on our own. There is a saying, it takes a village. It truly does.
This behavior is not ok. Motherhood is hard and everyone deserves help.
I had to kids my husband never helped me do a thing I took care of them food clothes baby sitter every thing else they needed he was no help at all he worked 8 hr a day that was it They turned out to be good kids I talked them right from wrong
Ah being a mum is hard. Just because you wanted children doesn’t mean it’s 100% your responsibility. Some people are right tools. You need to fund people who can support you, not bring you down.
Food clean clothes healthy family rest is just material
Who are you asking that’s saying that, it takes a village to be a momma
That is sh!t advice. You are allowed to be your own person outside of being a mom. You are allowed to be yourself. Have time to yourself, do a work out, pick up a hobby, etc. you are not to struggle and be alone. “It takes a village” well bish where is my village??!?? That village comes in many forms. The person you vent to, the person who helps with errands, those people outside the house. But we still need more than that
ONE is “responsible” for “Their” decisions…The role of a parent-family-friends-schools etc come in to play. Movies play into whole picture,too. That saying " It takes a Village to raise a child."
But, final decision rest on the “Individual”. . You have been given a mind so the rest of us should not be held responsible!! So tired of being asked for handouts!! Not my job
As a SAHM of three (5yr, 4yr, 1wk olds) I am asking for help whenever I can. Listen mama the saying is that it takes a village for a reason, or at least that’s how I see it. There is no reason to be unnecessarily stressed and spread thin when you CAN be getting some help. Hell that’s the best way to help avoid PPD and PPA.
You’re just asking the wrong ones for help!
Anyone who was truly invested in you or your child(ren) wouldn’t respond that way!
Who is telling you this??? It better not be the father…
And if it’s your family, they GD suck
No! You are not wrong! I’m the complete opposite I never ask for help until I’m drowning 
& my parents get so mad at me. I’m 29 with a 9 year old and being a single parent, it’s hard trying to fill mom and dad. She does have her dad in her life but I refuse to ask help because I’ve been on my own since I got disowned and treated like shit back in my day. I’m in a fight or flight mode constantly I wish I would ask for more help. You are not wrong!