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QUESTION:
"My stepdaughter is 20, living at home. She is not allowed to have boys stay the night, and has recently brought this up to me as “that’s not fair, I spoke to my boss about it and my friends - they don’t see an issue and their parents let boys stay.” We don’t allow it for several reasons. 1. She’s old enough to have her own place if she wants to act like an adult, 2. she doesn’t have a boyfriend, 3. the amount of sexual partners she’s had since January is enough to build a football team (4. not that they could actually play football - they have little drive and zero skill). 5. She also has little siblings that stay here. I don’t want to “s**t shame” her, or make her feel judged on her taste - but I feel as though she really doesn’t have an argument here. Me and her talk very openly, and I am honest with how I feel about the subject - but she doesn’t see the issue. What do y’all think I don’t speak down to her, I don’t try to “slut shame” her for her “hobby” or whatever you may call it. But, I also do not agree with it, and I don’t know what to say to get my point across without appearing to be judging."
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"it’s your house and your rules, she don’t like it, be a grown up and move out"
"No you’re not in the wrong but it’s good she asked you instead of sneaking it around"
"I think if their are younger siblings there, it’s a no. But if they’re ever out of the house at a sleepover or something, I would say she could then. That would be the compromise xx"
"I don’t blame you for not wanting people to come in and out of your home. You have your little ones to think about. If she wants to have male company over then she needs to get her own place…"
"She can stay at their house for the night"
"Your house your rules and with smaller kids do you really want random men circulating through your home. She can stay at there house or find her own place."
"If there are young kids in the house I respect the decision, although I would alter to rule to “casual partners aren’t allowed” but someone she is actively dating should be."
"Why doesn’t she stay at their place?"
"Definitely shouldn’t be slut shaming or commenting on the amount of them but everything else I agree, it’s unsafe to have that many random men in the home with small children! Your house your rules"
"I wouldnt only because of the younger siblings."
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