Can someone please tell me if I’m wrong for not cleaning up after childbirth? I (27F) gave birth not too long ago with natural birthing and epidural. No tear. But I was still in pain post partum so I couldn’t clean my apartment with my younger sister (23F) for 11 days. My sister’s friend claimed I was exaggerating, that I should be able to be normal the next day after childbirth so my sister kicked me out of our apartment. She literally packed my stuff and told me to get out. Am I wrong for not cleaning up our home after childbirth?
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Apparently some women are uneducated and ignorant. Just bc you don’t have external tears doesn’t mean your insides aren’t healing. You still have to heal where the placenta was attached to you. You should be walking around and only lifting things as heavy as your baby for 2 weeks. After two weeks you can bend and lift things slightly heavier. But most women take 4 weeks at minimum to heal. So you should’ve been doing some sweeping, cleaning up after yourself and your baby, light housework.
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No your not wrong!! I’m so sorry but what the actual f ? You just had a baby! She’s the A hole here, not you. I’m sorry this happened. Your sisters a d bag for that
Are you on the lease? Either way (check with your state) I don’t think she can legally just evict you like that. Not only leagally wrong but morally wrong to do your own family like that. Did yall have any conversations prior to this happening about the cleaning situation? 11 days straight no cleaning is a little much. I was doing all basic chores (in tears) just days after a C section. I wouldn’t expect someone to just clean up after me days on end. If you can care for your child seems like you could have contributed to picking up around the house a bit. This may seem harsh its just my thoughts and we don’t know the full situation… I’ll say both in the wrong.
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Jeez…
Have either one of them had a baby? Zero compassion. If your name is on the lease, she can’t legally throw you out. 
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Honestly to me it depends on how bad you let your personal mess get not the apartment as a whole.
Everyone is going to have a different opinion on this. If you were living by yourself you would have to have clean up yourself. So yes you should have cleaned some at your sister’s. You gave birth, you weren’t in an accident and you’re not impaired. Giving birth isn’t an excuse to do no house chores. Even a little here and a little there, you would have at least been trying. But to not do anything is not right. Sounds like you’re a new mom, congratulations on your new bundle even if you’re not new. It’s just the beginning. Mom’s don’t get sick days and they don’t get to do nothing. I am a mom of 4. 3 vaginally and my last one was a c section. The world and days go on. There are things to do no matter how we feel and there isn’t anyone that’s going to do all of it for us. Time to bite the bullet and move your tush. It never ends. Welcome to motherhood.
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First and foremost your sister cannot legally kick you out of your apartment if you’re on the lease and if you were there longer than 30 days you already claimed residence. Your sisters friend has probably not had children or she wouldn’t have said that. It can take weeks to recover from child birth. Your sisters friend and your sister are both POS.
I really don’t think that giving birth is an excuse to live nasty.
I was back to my normal routine as soon as I got home from the hospital.
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How long is not too long ago?
What type of cleaning? Are we talking full deep clean? Or…are we talking just picking up after yourself?
There’s not really enough context here.
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You should at least be cleaning up after yourself and your baby. But not like a deep cleaning, your body is still healing. In her mind she probably assumed that you’re going to use the fact that you’re a mom now to not have to take care of house responsibilities.
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These people are acting like they’ve never gave birth??? 3 babies in and you need at least 2 weeks to be normal like you don’t even wanna shower at the beginning of postpartum. All yall need to give this mama GRACE. Your sister sounds like an immature little bitch and should be supporting you through your postpartum recovery and God forbid she has an asshole do that to her when she has a baby! Praying you get love and support in this tough transitional time, remember your strength and find people that genuinely care for you 🩵🩵
If there was no complication after birth what hinder you from light cleaning? 11 days after most people are back on their jobs at work. Your sister is right, not by ki king you out with a newborn but there was no reason you couldnt have done basic housework. I birth six and was on the job of caring for my family day after returning from hospital.
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I think additional context is needed here.
How long ago is “not to long ago” - a week is “not long ago”. A month is not.
What kind of “cleaning up” are we talking about - expecting you to deep clean is a bit much. Expecting you to wash your own dishes, throw away trash and clean up after yourself is not.
Were you on the lease or living there for more than 30 days - if you were on the lease or living there more than 30 days makes that your home as well as hers and she cannot legally just pack your stuff and sit you out.
I get needing a break and labor and birth being painful.
I had all mine via c section. I was home that same week cleaning, because I had too. (Only one too clean)
I definitely feel like basic cleaning is normal after birth, and most women handle the house and all after having children.
Now scrubbing floors, and walls that can wait.
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Yes ma’am you are wrong 11 days natural birth no tears you should be ok to get up and do something. I had a c-section and on my 11th day I was doing laundry moving furniture around and all so yes ma’am you are wrong. Sisters not right to kick you out with a new baby but she doesn’t have to deal with your mess neither.
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I was back 99% when I got home after giving birth to a very BIG baby
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I got home 4 days after my c section and deep cleaned my bathroom, cleaned the kitchen from the mess it was before I was rushed to the hospital, and cooked a meal for me and my husband. Everyone’s situation is different, but cleaning up your room, bathroom, living room, things like that are bare minimum.
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This is the reason why 1/3 of women have pelvic floor issues and prolapse… take the time to rest… you just pushed a baby out… your body is exhausted. If you push yourself to go back to normal duties right away, you will pay for it the rest of your life
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Yes 5 days after a c section. I had twins so I was cut hip to hip and was cleaning up after myself and child and watching my 3 yr old and cooking.
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Depends from birth to birth, person to person. I couldn’t walk after my first, but did a food shop the day after I had my second, then couldn’t walk after my third (C-section) but was up and about doing housework etc after a few days after my fourth (C-section)
After 11 days I don’t think anyone is expecting you to scrub the walls or floors but basic sweeping, Vacuuming, taking out the trash,cleaning your own dishes & laundry should be doable. I personally, (& I’m sure most mothers )11 days after birth was taking care of a whole household cleaning & taking care of my kids while my husband was at work. If you’re not crippled basic cleaning cannot go 11 days without picking up after yourself. I think your sister should have spoken to you first to let you know it was bothering her before kicking you out. If she came to you with her concerns I’m sure you would have cleaned up.
is this friend a guy or girl? if girl has she had a baby? has your sister? if the answer is no they all need to stfu… the guy has 0 opinions on this topic… 
I was going grocery shopping and doing laundry less than 48 hours after giving birth. Having a baby is no reason to let your home turn into a pig sty.
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You’ve opened up a can of worms for the pick me girls. They’ll take any chance to boast about how quickly they bounced back. (No one cares)
The general rule of thumb after birth is 5 days in bed, 5 days on the bed, 5 days near the bed.
Judging only by the context given, your sister seems like a turd. Even if you are physically capable of cleaning, you’re clearly going through something, and I don’t thinking packing your bags for you was the right answer. Especially since you have a newborn.
Again, only judging by the context I was given.
How was this relationship beforehand? I feel like there has to be more to this.
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Everyone is different, I was up and cleaning my hospital room before they even brought me my baby from the nursery 
…on the other hand it looks like your sister was just waiting for a reason to kick you out. Did u pay rent? Are u on the lease? Your sister is really shitty to do this right after you’ve given birth. I hope you have an alternative place to stay!
It depends…was it cleaning like throwing away the dirty diapers & doing your dishes? Or did she expect you to scrub the tub and/or mop?
My husband refused to allow me to do anything for 3 months 
was I able to do things, sure. I’m a mom with 5 kids. Hell I took my kids to the zoo two days after giving birth to our youngest. I did tare. BUT that doesn’t mean your sister needs to be cruel about it, and if you’re on the lease she doesn’t get to just kick you out.
Nobody should be comparing experiences 
just like children every experience is so insanely different. Nobody knows your experience and how you are feeling but you.
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First off. That isn’t legal if you’re on the lease.
Second. It is normal to not be able to deep clean. A simple tidy. Dishes. Wiping down counters. Tossing the trash.
All deliveries are different. Also the babies schedule is hard to get used to.
Unless your doctor told you not to get up or move around, or you had a c section, then there’s no excuse for not being able to clean up the cups and dishes you use, the dirty clothes or diapers or anything else that weighs less than your baby that you caused. I had a c section and was still able to clean up after myself a couple times a day the day after I gave birth. Yes it hurt to stand for more than a few minutes or walk for the first few weeks but it’s no excuse to not pick up after yourself in anyway. You shouldn’t be sitting in your own filth for a week and a half just because you expect someone else to pick up after you and take care of everything. I had multiple family members to do that for all 3 of my c sections and I still made sure to pick up after myself.
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Your sister kicked you & your baby out because her friend said so? I’m sorry your sister is such a B. She’d no longer be my sister.
Okay 11 days of no cleaning does seem a bit exaggerated. You could have done some tidying.
No you shouldn’t be deep cleaning but with no tears and a normal delivery, yes you can do basic stuff by 11 days. I was cooking and doing light straightening up when I got home with mine around day 3. In fact moving around, slowly of course, is supposed to help healing! Sitting down too much will make it take longer and can actually make the cramping after birth worse because you’re not letting gravity help everything empty. Kicking you out seems extreme though, wouldn’t she have to give you time? Like an eviction?
Yeah your lazy. Good for her. Giving birth is no excuse for being a slob
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I had my baby in the morning, went home a couple of hours later and was mopping the floor that night 
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2 wrongs don’t make anything right… yes maybe you could have tried but who is your sister
friends to get involved, and your sister kicks out a new mother and child.
It wasn’t your apartment if she was able to kick you out, means your name must not be on the lease and you were just staying with her. Kinda sounds like she wanted an excuse to get you and the baby out of her apartment, that’s an AH move on her part.
I walked in the door from bringing my youngest home and immediately vacuumed the living room… 11 days for a natural birth is ridiculous.
No tear- you gave birth not to long ago- but you can’t do little things around the apartment? Things just aren’t adding up- with my son oh did I tear up- most painful thing ever- with my daughter no tearing and I was fine still cleaning and doing things- not major things but there has to be more to this. Everyone’s experience is different- hope you find another place with you and your baby. 
I deep cleaned my apartment 6 days later because we had inspection.
If u can make the mess then u can get back yp and clean… did u just lay there 11 days and not do a damn thing? Sounds gross and lazy
Cleaning up after yourself and baby is normal to do after. Now deep cleaning and such not so normal. There’s limitations but if the dishes are less than a pound there’s no reason not to take them to the sink. If the wrapper or diaper is less than a pound no reason it can’t be carried to the trash. N if the shirt on the floor is less than a pound no reason it can’t make it in a hamper.