Tell him you have plan already and let him host his family himself let him see how much work it is
Heâs proud of the home he provided for his family. Thereâs nothing wrong with that. Why not make it a potluck? Ask others to contribute? Tell your husband to do all the work. There are many of us who would kill to have family for the holidays. Perhaps be grateful you and your family have people to celebrate the holidays with.
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If you donât celebrate Easter. Rent a hotel room and take a good book and let him host away.
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Yes you do have a voice in the matter! Speak up woman, itâs your house too!
Thatâs too much work and alot of stress. My family takes turns being at other houses. Empower yourself and take a stand, if he gets angry, oh well!
Maybe YOU can go away on vacation
when all your visitors come over! Good luck!
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Tell him since he invited them heâs cooking and entertaining and youâre not helping
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What about âgoing out to eatâ for Easter? Is that an option
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Let him do the preparations. The meal prep, grocery shopping, cooking, the cleaning, getting the kiddos ready. Iâd be extra petty and if he asked me a single question about a recipe or how to do anything, Iâd remind him you told him youâd have nothing to do with your own disrespect.
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Tell him to go fuck himself
Sounds like youâre selfish and donât want to put any effort into your man and his family. Make a place at the table or be left out, your choice. Unless you have a solid reason why you donât want to his family around?
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My petty ass would host a Pagan Ostera celebration 
it honestly just seems like heâs very proud of his home and his family (you) and wants to share them with his birth family
You should feel lucky and less bitter, someone people donât even have that option.
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Everyone has choices,
If you donât want to host them put your foot down and say no.
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Nope get yourself takeout and stay in bed and tell everyone on the day of the partys including your husband that you are sick and you need your rest
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Get him to do everything on his own. Itâs alot to ask. Every time is hard. Iâd be happy to alternate. Tell him youâre tired. He cannot physically force you to host or help. Maybe if he saw first hand what a mission it is heâd rethink. And itâs your house too, itâs a two way street
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Yeah you do. Make him do it.
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Well you kind of do have a choice, just donât do it, donât cook donât but the food donât give the house that extra clean you have to do. Let someone else do it. You are not wrong with this.
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Yes you do!
Tell him youâre going out for the night
Oh , I would make the food lol, it would look like slop . Tell your husband the day before your sick . He wonât do all the food but he would wish he had . I would drag around in a house coat complaining how sick I was.
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Of course you can choose its your house too!
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Easter isnât about what you want itâs about the kids having fun and enjoying the egg hunt, feel lucky you have his family around wanting to be involved⌠so many people donât have there families who want them around and your complaining about the company you have, wow, I bet you wouldnât have a worry if it was your family who was staying over?
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Talk it over with the ladies of the family to switch it up. Take turns. Thatâs what my family does.
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Nope! I donât invite anyone to my house if you show up uninvited I will not answer the door. If I feel people are toxic to my environment, my children, my mental health and my personal comfort level I do not have to put myself in any situation where those feelings may occur. Itâs absolutely okay to not want to be around certain people or have them in your home and not feel bad about it. I refuse to put myself in any situation that makes me uncomfortable.
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You may not celebrate Easter, but you do eat dinnerâŚ. So go to the movies. Let him host it especially if you have expressed your feelings.
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Nope, if you donât wanna do something donât. You are an adult and can make that decision. Now if youâre a mean person and they are nice and you have some Narcissism in you and you want to keep him to yourself or something selfish like not wanting to spend money even though you have it then you are wrong but at the end of the day there is a reason you donât want to and you know that reason and whatever you chose itâs because thatâs who you are inside!!!
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Ever thought of talking with him and telling him you have invited your family for the next holiday/occasion and that theyâve accepted? Or even better your family has invited you and you accepted? I really hope you have family that would do!
Family time is important and your family is just as important as hisâŚ
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Why do you feel you have to do thisâŚwhy not phone a catering place and have them bring in foodâŚtell your hubby if he wants it that bad then either help or do catering âŚyou never mentioned inviting any of your family for special occasionsâŚdo thry not live close to youâŚso what hapoens if you say no will he freak out on youâŚbecause if you dont want people to run over you try sayingâŚNOâŚ
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You do have a choice âŚtell him if he wants to invite them again and word it again that he will be doing the prepping cooking and washing up⌠remind him marriage is a relationship just like any other itâs a 2 way street and tell him Christmas is just the 2 of you in your new house together x
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Your husband should not expect you to host his family on every holiday that comes up. Do you have to do all the work,like all the cooking And cleaning up? Do any of them bring some dish with them? And most important DOES your husband help!!
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If he canât take ur feeling into consideration, it just tells me he cares more for his family than he does for u. Go enjoy ur time with ur family or friends.
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Just donât participate. Make it clear to him you will not be helping with preparation, hosting, or clean-up.
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Make it that everyone brings a plate of food. Less work that way.
You could also list the jobs, say how long they took, put a price on them, then present him with the bill.
Iâve actually seen it done regarding a man who thought his stay at home wife did nothing
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Time for a migraine headache. The kind that keeps you in bed all day while hubby hosts his family alone. And cleans up, aloneâ:shushing_face:
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My husband and I hosted Thanksgiving for his family and mine for many years and a fine time was had by all. When you marry someone their family becomes yours and yours become theirs.
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So by the logic of this post, a man should buy a house, and not be able to host his family in it 3 times a year? Just wow. Perhaps you should just get a divorce so he can find someone who shares his values and appreciate the home he has provided. If you take the majority of advice here youâll be divorced in no time anyway. No man wants a wife that turns her nose up at whatâs important to him. Storm off and pout in your room and refuse to participate like a toddler is what the majority of these comments say. Every holiday he fills the house up with his family. Oh my, the horror. We wouldnât want him spending precious time with those he loves would we. You donât complain about him not helping. You donât complain about relatives disrespecting you. Just the simple problem that they show up. Youâre acting selfish. If you donât celebrate Easter then why marry a man that does, then pout when he celebrates his values. I would say compromise and rotate, or have his family come early to help but that isnât even your complaint. Just their presence, in a house that is his Also. You can do what most are telling you and pout in your room and refuse to participate in whatâs most important to him, but donât plan on having him long. Weâre literally talking 3 meals a year. If you try to separate this man from his family or his values, you wonât have him long. Men with solid values like he has are a rare find, and those values are going to bump heads with your selfishness. Whatâs important to him clearly isnât important to you, and you donât seem to even want to find common ground. Men with values like that donât sacrifice them. He will not give up those values for you. And for you to ask him to is what makes you selfish.
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Girl tell him he can do all the preparation that goes into his family come over and your going to enjoy the holiday for once hopefully heâll never do this again after doing everything himself
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Tell him since what you feel isnât considered you are leaving for the day Easter. Tell him he is on his own with all the preprep, hosting, and everything for his family. And you go take a day to yourself. Donât do a SINGLE thing for any part of it.
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While growing up my Mom did all the hosting, meals, etc. Later we designated others to prepare items. After dinner most helped get the clean up done. After the grands grew up everyone went the way of their significant others and some of the elders were left out. There is no excuse for this. When you marry, you become blended families. In a perfect world it should be a win/win. Figure a way to include everyone from the tiniest to the eldest. Group efforts are well worth it!
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He is proud! I think You should support that as a spouse just as he should if the tables were turned. Support the pride of your spouse
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Thatâs where u allow HIM to host it for his familyâŚmeaning if theyâre all gonna eat & enjoy their time there then itâs on him to make it all happen while u sit back & enjoy chitchatting!
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He can host becouse he is the one inviting ppl over. It shouldâve been him all the time and youâre definitely not wrong.
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Is the problem that donât celebrate or is it his family and you have none? My husband and I been together 9yrs he has no family here in CO but every Holiday my family comes over and my husband does ALL the cooking this past year was my first cooking a big big meal for the family my point is wat if it were the other way around in your situation would u complain then or will you want to hide in the room or take off for the day smdh
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Iâd tell him thatâs fine but only if he hosts or you guys do it together. Or tell the family itâs a bring a dish. And if any issues then you chose on Holliday and let everyone know that Holliday is the only one at your home and each can pick a Holliday at their home to host for everyone.
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I love hosting get togethers but it is exhausting! I feel there should be a compromise and select certain holidays. Sometimes I as excited as I am for everyone to come, I canât wait to be comfortable in my bed.
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You donât celebrate Easter? You donât believe Christ arose? Could this be the reason he invites them over? Hoping it will rub offâŚ
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Preorder everything simplify or have everyone bring a dishâŚOtherwise you just donât like his family, which will cause tension in time.
There is no control in marriage. It is give and take.
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I get the feeling that even if it was decided to be at one of âtheir housesâ⌠you still wouldnât want to be involved. Why donât you invite your family aswell and make it one big gathering and then you might feel more comfortable with the idea 
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Oh well, you just plan to be awayâŚall by yourself, instead of being a part of a loving familyâŚIâm sure you wonât be missed with an attitude like thatâŚget over yiurself!
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Most people would only dream of having their family over for the holidays⌠is it because he doesnât help you or they donât help you so it feels like a huge burden? Or is it because you just donât want to & want to be alone on the holidays? Iâd love my family over for the holiday even though it would be a tight squeeze Iâd welcome it with open arms but theyâre not in the same country as me and the ones that are donât bother. Family is very important and I think you should be supportive of your husbands right to keep kinship with his family if you donât want it maybe go to your own family for the holidays to have some space.
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We took over family holidays and started hosting after we bought our house. We were proud to have space to do so and enjoy it.
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It is your house too & if it happens every holiday then you have rights too. Dianaâs idea is perfect,plan to be away then he can deal with everything on his own
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Of course you have a choice. Donât prepare anything - and make sure you have other plans for the day.
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Lady someday that family wonât be around to celebrate lifeâs to short to let it get to you I wish my mom was around to celebrate holidays with. This is my 2nd holiday with out her and feels like it was yesterday let him enjoy his family.
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Actually you do. Just donât cook or clean.
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I understand most of these females comments because he provided your house. Hosting every holiday at your house should be a mutual agreement maybe talk to him about it and if u already did, give him some options, like letâs do this holiday here and letâs do a different holiday at another family members house so itâs not always at yours, you guys have to come to an agreement, a mutual agreement thatâs how relationships, of any sort of relationships work out. Donât get a divorce over something this stupid if itâs only about having all the holiday occasions inviting over to your house, u can do what of the other ladies are saying, let him meal prep, let him cook it all himself, let him do everything then heâll know how it feelsďżź, this is only my opinion!!
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No. Thatâs not wrong. You have every right to feel how you do, and not want it. And you need to stand your ground. Tell him he needs to respect you. But if he doesnât stop inviting them over, you need to take the trash out.
Fine if hes doing all the shopping cooking cleaning and hosting for all these events, if not dont do any of the above leave it to him then guaranteed it will stop, but im with you i wouldnt want it every holiday as then it becomes expected
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Maybe trade holidays one at yours and other at next and yes itâs alit more work for the one that itâs at their house .but I love my family too and enjoy them . Yes your husband needs to equally help you cook and cleaning before and after . the family should help to and have every family member bring a dish or two not all your cooking everything . You can talk to them and tell your husband ahead of time but if both works he should be doing everything equally Ways . Itâs team . You should invite your family also or start planning to go visit them for holidays and ask your husband to go .
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Jennifer Yard he could also just be excited as he finally owns a home big enough to house his family on holidays . Also when the man pays for the house he has some type of say so in it over the wife âŚnot sure why anyone would think otherwise⌠plus family is pretty non negotiableâŚid be nore annoyed if it was also in between holidays.
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Lol it doesnât even say he provided the house either the assumptions are hysterical in this thread
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My husband family I dont like them I made it clear before we got married 2+ years ago. There would be no holidays in our home. Besides my family hardly celebrates them. If we do it was made clear his family would not get an invite. But he could choose to go there even if we had something planned here. Because Iâm not going to expect him to break all his holiday traditions. It is your home also and you should feel uncomfortable with any situation in your home and you should communicate that to your husband and if he donât respect it .let him host you get a nice hotel the night before let him shop.prep cook entetertain on his own while you order room service and pay preview.
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Is it really that serious? Seems to me the problem is you donât like your new family. Very selfish.
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Compromise, if it means that much to him and you love him then consider doing it but ask for him to be more involved in the preparations etc so it doesnât feel overwhelming for you.
Dig deeper, what do you think might be the underlying reason?
A few common onesâŚ
Is it because you have low energy? Is there a family member/members that are rude to you or that you dislike? Do you have social anxiety? Do you feel resentful or sad because of your own family situation?
I would go out for the day if he wants to do it it all his responsibility
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Is she cooking or just hosting? Is what Iâm reading in the question âŚso is the family bringing food and helping with the event and since his family comes every holiday than hopefully your comfortable by now to communicate this with him and them and throw out the idea of someone else hosting Easter. Maybe he enjoys having the room at your new house. Whatever the reason your feelings should also be validated as you do have a choice and a say in the matter.
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You should ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE. IF you are the one preparing for this dinner, donât prepare, let Mr Big Shot make the preparations and you go to a movie while they are there. How utterly disrespectful of this man. 
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Just donât clean, cook etc etc etc. You didnât decide to invite everyone over.
Voice your opinion to your partner and if they donât respect it- then tell him youâre going out to eat that night and how youâre just mentally drained from it all and want to take turns with the other family hosting because itâs draining and itâs making you burnt our
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Arrange to go out to eat at a restaurant and let it be known that everyone pays their way and arrange trips to local beauty spots for a picnic anything that takes the pressure off you and gives you time to enjoy the holiday
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Generally, prior to marriage you have some shared discussion about your lives together
And of your familyâŚpresent ,past and futureâŚ
If a person comes from a caring and invested familyâŚit is likely that you become integrated familyâŚor if a different scenarioâŚyou still had some discussion or understanding togetherâŚI think you need to revisit your understanding,and present feelingsâŚThen maybe fine tune or work on your solutions.
If you or your husband have changed your thoughts or feelings, you need to own it.
If you need it, seek professional guidanceâŚ
Both parties in a marriage need to be loved and respectedâŚGodspeed.
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How long had this been going on? Canât she invite her family? Who cooks and cleans when the extras come? Who provides the extra food? Who is the breadwinner.
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I would go out at Easter and leave him to host his family. He should respect your feelingâs and he doesnât.
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You have a choice do not do anything let him do it all
Magically be sick the day before or fay of the party make him do the work maybe hell.get the picture
I donât understand what the problem is
I get you donât celebrate Easter and thatâs your choice
But you canât stop your hubby inviting his family to the house
As he canât stop your family from coming to the home
Iâm wondering if you have other issues with your in-laws
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Maybe heâs a proud home owner & wants to show that off. If you donât want to celebrate easter, go do something else that day & let your husband enjoy the holidays in the home he also helped buy. If itâs a huge issue, tell him itâs going to be cancelled or at least have less holidays at your house. Perhaps he just wants to enjoy the comforts of his home.
I used to be the exact same. We have a big house so my husband would always invite his family over for holidays. I hated having to clean the house and cook and all that. He had the the big family, brothers, sister etc, until he didnât. In the last 5 years weâve lost both of his oldest brother and his youngest brother, his dad, 2 uncles and an aunt. All thatâs left is his mom and sister (who lives far away). Holidays are very hard for him now. Weâre not that old either (heâs 46, Iâm 44). I donât have brothers or sisters so I never really understood the whole getting together for holidays. I guess what Iâm saying is appreciate them while you have them. You donât know when youâll lose them. His mom is heartbroken, as are we.
PS It wasnât from COVID either, most were sudden unexpected deaths.
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If he wants to have them over and you donât, go somewhere for the day or night and let him do everything. Cook, hist and clean.
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I think your being rude personally, family is everything
Maybe alternate at other familiesâ houses
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I would do a rotation just to be fair when you marry you also marry into the family .
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Of course you have a choice dear. Itâs not fair that itâs at your house all the time. They should take turns every year. Please donât feel guilty about that. Donât allow anyone to take advantage of the situation. I know the holidays are stressful, but it should always be fun too 
Good luck honey.
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Do you really hate his family and his desires to spend time with his family that much?
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Probably because he has family that cares and u donât. Donât get jealous the family wants to be involved Iâd give anything for that kinda life u fucken need to be thankful
If you are married then itâs both your house not just his no matter who pays for it. Something tells me you bend to his every command. I know having family over is important but you dont have to tolerate it every single time. You have a voice and say so use it. He still wants to have it then make sure everybody is ready to do the cooking and cleaning or be prepared to have it catered and professional cleaned afterwards and they can foot the bill. Stop being a doormat for a man.
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Do you have family you could hang out with on Easter? If so, make plans!
I think most of yâall are misunderstanding OP. She didnât mention once that she doesnât like them and doesnât want to spend every holiday with them. She has an issue with hosting his entire family every single holiday. Hosting is exhausting and can be expensive. The cleaning, the grocery shopping, the cooking, then cleaning up again. Itâs a lot. I completely understand wanting to do it at their houses as well.
I would sit down and have a conversation with your husband. Maybe you can find a compromise where you alternate holidays at everyoneâs houses.
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You need to communicate with him
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At the end of the day the only truly important thing is family and your loved ones 
really hope that you can see this and how important this is for your husband you might not understand but you should be supportive of family even if they are messy busy loud ect we have lost our family traditions with cell phones people stopped going to family functions stopped coming by on sundays for family time and honestly I think thatâs a big part of peopleâs mental health issues these days we all need to put the phones down more and be human we were not made to live in front of a screen in a house 
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You two need to sit down and talk and come to some agreement maybe one hoilday go to other house of the family
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Tell him thatâs fine but you go out and do something else, he hosts his family and you do something else. X
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Make your special housekeeping list, make him do it all. Make your menus and make him shop then prepare everything. Make him clean up everything. Heck schedule yourself a mini vacation instead of attending.
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If you donât want to host again tell him. Explain to him how much work it is. Maybe make plans that day for yourself so he has to see all the work that goes into hosting for once so he can understand why you donât want every single one at your house.
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Itâs your house. U always have a choice !
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Is the issue is that all the cleaning and cooking falls on you tell him you are not doing it ⌠If he wants to have his family over he can do the work âŚ
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I get how annoying hosting isâŚhosting not family but it sure seems likes he is really proud of his life and wants to show it off
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Youâre wrong for fighting about it. If you donât want to host them, donât.
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We alternate holidays. Try that.
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It might be easier to just talk with his family. Maybe some of them would like to do a holiday at their house but r hesitant to ask. See if they r all willing to split holidays.
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Wow all of these comments telling you âYou married him you should have knownâ. What about he married you and knew this wasnât a holiday you celebrated? Just because he has family doesnât mean that you are ungrateful or selfish for not wanting them over. You should have a day because and I know itâs crazy⌠Itâs your house too, he can be proud but at the expense of his wife⌠nah! If he isnât listening to you, take a you day. Tell him you will not be hosting because he refuses to listen to you. You have hosted all dinners already and want 1 holiday that you donât celebrate to not host. Let him know that you have plans and he take clean and cook and then clean again. If he chooses not to do so then thatâs on him not you. If his family questions it, tell them. Donât be subtle.
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You DO have a choice! Say NO!
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