That would get old real fast doing that 3x a year every year. Especially if you have to do everything, starting with cleaning, then food prep and so on. If the husband isn’t helping and just expects you to do it all with a smile on your face then I would tell him it’s his turn, your family you’re in charge of everything. Or maybe agree to 1 holiday a year and suggest that one of his family members have it. If not make it a very simple meal or store bought prep food and maybe someone else will suggest having it at their house.
My mom love to host parties, dinners. She goes all out but there would be no way she would do it 3x a year, yearly. little lone be expected. Just because you can and like it, doesn’t mean you have to.
My my family rotates holidays. We each bring a dish but the host makes the most of it.
I am sad that you don’t celebrate Easter.
It’s telling (and not good) that you don’t have a voice about what happens in your own home.
Understand this….
You have as much right as he does to enjoy your holidays (or ANY day).
You are not obligated to do what he wants.
His house to, let him do all the cooking and prep work. He’s proud to have a place to host. Let him. You don’t have to hang around. Let him host…
and you go out and have non Easter fun. Tell him he’s also will do all party clean up.
Also set down and discuss hosting a few holidays.
If he doesn’t want to listen to you about Easter I would be like ok. I’m going out for the day so he would have to do all the prep, host his own family and he better do the clean up. You can have a spa day. Have your me time.
I enjoy hosting and having family over, plus the family that comes actually helps with cooking/bringing dishes and cleaning up after then dinner… 
You always have a choice, if your spouse isnt letting you have a say in the matter, pack your bags and your kids bags and walk out, that isnt healthy
You do have a choice don’t cook anything. If they want to eat they need to bring everything. You order yourself some food then disappear and have a you day!
If he is cooking and cleaning then let him host his family all he wants. Only thing is if they are being rude and making you and your family feel bad is when I would put my foot down. Again you do have a choice yall are a family and if he can’t understand your feelings yall need to work things out. Just know his feelings are also to be taken in its never a one sided thing yall need to listen and compromise.
Around the holidays my family takes turns hosting the event at their house. So one year xmas will be at my parents the next year it might be at one of my aunts houses. Maybe its something you can memtion to them. Try and alternate.
I understand your husband being proud of your new home. What I don’t get, however, is him expecting you to cater to all his family for every holiday. You’re not his maid, so I hope you’ve discussed it with him. Communicate your displeasure again, and tell him that you’ll only agree to host his family if HE does ALL the party prepping, including cleaning, all the cooking, and all the after party cleanup. If he can’t, then tell him to get the food and drinks catered, and hire people to do the after party cleanup. Let’s see how quickly he agrees to host everything when he’ll either be doing all the work or paying a pretty penny for others to do it.
Mannnnnn I WISH I COULD .
And I saw a comment about him maybe giving his a break, I’d do it in a heartbeat. When I was back home, we went to my momma house BUT I’d do cooking and cleaning there
Their house was just bigger
Make him do all the cooking and cleaning! He wants to host not you. It’s a ton of work to have all those people
Let him do all the cooking and cleaning ,preparations ext… he’ll change his tune .and marriage is 50 50! sounds like you may not have an equal union.
Sure you do. Make him cook for his family.
just say no end of story
Take turns planning and hosting. I bet he may not want to do it so much. Easter is your turn hubby dearest…
Many are saying you should be happy you have a house and family to do it. Doesn’t mean you’re a work horse and want to do this every time. Sometimes people love doing this. Sometimes it’s a chore. I don’t mind if here and there but it’s a lot for me personally. Stand your ground and don’t get walked over. Either that or tell him to get it catered.
If your name is on the marriage certificate and the house…you have a say…say No, say Nope, say Nada, say Ain’t gonna happen this year! Suggest options of meeting Dutch Treat and ALL go out, or that he uninvite them and they go to THEIR other in laws for a holiday, or YOU contact them and suggest the change in plans. 
Guess I’m not gonna be liked much here BUT it’s always been my thinking everyone participates family brings covered dish we help clean up we enjoy being together no matter where and I enjoy ALLLLL family and friends at my house…As one who lost nearly alllll my family now (parents etc.) I would give anything to have them around my dinner table.I enjoy people my family spouses family friends I don’t care more the merrier.
I’d leave early that morning, and not come back until that night.
You’re barking up the wrong tree. There needs to be communication between you and all of them. Only then will you be happy with the result.
So let him know you won’t be cooking or cleaning up after every one. Maybe leave & practice self care. Read a book go shopping while his family is there.
Let him do his thing… While you on the other hand deserve a nice rexaling spa day 
Yes you do ,dont cook
Someday when everyone are getting old and passing on your house will be lonely. You will have the memories of the family holidays that filled your home with love and laughter and your husband will love you more for it. I do hope he helps you.
Ur justified in feeling that way.
I would sit back and relax and let him do it all… let him clean the house let him host it let him do everything… or make a girl day with your friends and leave
I’m not trying to be mean but leave the house go do something else go do lunch with friends go see ur fam if u dont celebrate and this easter thing is his plan let him handle it but actually leave so he cant rope u into helping
how do you think our mothers and grandmothers all became the matriarch of the family?
One day y’all won’t have family to turn too.
Good luck 
As much as i miss all my family, they’re all gone 
and my husbands family is in Mexico, we don’t have anyone. i know it’s a hassle cooking for everyone, cleaning up after everyone. But i would in a heartbeat, i miss that unit. That’s me though, not you. My husband always asks first. Tell him sure but you will not be helping with any cooking or cleaning. If he can’t handle it, hire someone.
That very last line is where you’re wrong, you do have a choice in the matter. This is your home as well. You need to have a come to Jesus meeting with your husband and let him know that you are not having every holiday at your home. Try rotating houses for holidays. I think you’ll find having it at your house occasionally isn’t that bad after all if you’re not the only one hosting.Good luck.
It’s all over if you have a regular guy do the hosting, cooking and cleaning for one day though. They will think you’re not the one for them and start cheating because of that one day you didn’t want to participate lol…
Sound like your not respected in the relationship! I wouldn’t tolerate that! You need to stand your ground.
So have them celebrate Easter and you dip out. Rent a hotel room for the weekend and you’ll be back AFTER HE CLEANS UP AFTER HIS FAMILY. Put your foot down.
You’re entitled to your feelings and he should listen, but my opinion is having a brand new house - I would welcome hosting parties and such. We have a remodeling house(been in the process for 4 years 
) but I still love to host, my husband hates it… you comprise. Those family members won’t be around forever. Good luck!!
She said this started when they bought their house, we don’t know how long it’s been going on for nor do we know how many holidays she has hosted. Maybe they just bought the house and the holidays have always been somewhere else. Maybe the other family members feel like it’s their turn. Maybe the wife is overreacting and being selfish. We literally only know the wife’s side and they may not be the full situation. People tend to tell others what makes them look good or like the victim when that is not the case at all.
He better be doing the cooking and cleaning up after his family comes over. I would leave and let him host all by himself. That way he will know how much of a dang hassle it is to make dinner for many people and cleanup afterward. I would find something to do. Maybe he won’t be so keen on hosting EVERY SINGLE HOLIDAY. I don’t mind hosting but I wouldn’t want to be the one responsible for every single holiday. Plus the fact that you don’t even celebrate Easter makes it that much worse. He’s gunna force you to cook and clean for a holiday you don’t even do…
Maybe y’all meet in the middle. He did 1/2 the work, do only 1/2 the holidays.
do you not have family in the area??
Plan a weekend getaway for yourself and tell him he’s in his own!
Stop letting him have his way. If he wants his family always there then, tell him to do all the wk & seriously do not help him. He might by then actually get the mesg through his selfish thick scull.
No… That’s way too much.
Of course you have a choice. Just leave and go enjoy yourself and let him do everything
Do you try to get along with them and do they refuse to get along with you?
Do you not like them? This seems strange to me. It’s one day every few months. What holidays could you host? Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter? Seems ridiculous to be upset about IMO. I really dont see the issue. I don’t particularly like my inlaws but I always enjoy having holidays at my house.
I love hosting holidays and have my family over every holiday and my husband doesn’t get upset.
Where would his family go if he didn’t host? I mean, is he the only family member with a decent home to host? Maybe he’s feeling pressured by his family to do so? Maybe he’s just trying to show off what’s he’s accomplished in life by owning a home. Need more history behind it to form an opinion. When you marry someone, you marry their family too.
Maybe, he can give you one holiday where you are alone like x-mas.
Book a mini vacation for yourself and get on a plane and return a few days later …ask him how his holiday was .
Don’t get me wrong your feelings should definitely matter to him!
But I feel like afew things should also come into play
- is he an only child/no others from his generation to take some of the pressure/stress off the older generation?
- do yous have the space where others don’t?
We celebrate all holidays and we rotate who hosts them. My siblings, cousins and myself rotate who hosts what, it’s less on our parents/grandparents. No we don’t always have the most space but we tend to do as much as we can outside weather permitting.
First problem is you don’t have a say. I would tell my husband have at it. You cook, clean and entertain.
Tell him if he wants to host Easter so bad than he has to do the cooking, cleaning, and decorating. You make plans with family or friends that also don’t recognize that holiday and go out.
No you’re not wrong at all. That’s a lot on you
Sounds like a conversation you should have with your husband not Facebook. Not enough context anyway like do you not like hosting because you dont like his family? Or because you do all the hosting/cooking/cleaning? Or you just wanna relax? Talk to him.
I love family my husband and mine. Sometimes you get drained & stressed & overwhelmed like me I have severe anxiety. My husband would understand & we would make something else work!!! All about communication and understanding!!!
I don’t blame her at all. We host sometimes and my husband helps. Then other times we go there and at times we switch it up and go to my families home. It should never be one way and if they expect it to be that’s just wrong.
I don’t know the full story. Dobyoubhavw thr bigger house? Are you the one tasked to clean up after? Honestly ifbyour complaining about his family I’m sorry once you married him that made them your family too. You’re feelings should matter but if it’s because your tired of *his family that is now your family now that you’re married and that’s it, I can see why he’s brushing off your feelings. If you’re tasked with all the chores and no one is helping that is a problem and should be discussed and dealt with. Because my dad’s side of the family is so big no one has that kind of space we always do our family functions at a park shelter and we do it only in the summer because we live in Iowa. You can feel the way you do, but they are your family now, too. You’re going to have to put your foot down with your husband and tell him the REAL reason you feel this way because I don’t think this is the whole story.
Why can’t he just respect your wishes at least once.
This already made me mad.
It seems as if he just disregards your part of the equation.
The OUR HOUSE part.
This is going to eventually drain your energy and you will eventually show a bitterness towards them and your husband.
He needs to show equality and fairness.
He is over riding you NO to his desire to host again.
No means No.
He needs to respect that.
Why don’t you have a choice 
. If he chooses not to listen to you and respect the boundaries you are communicating to him then you can CHOOSE not to participate in the holiday and he can do all the cooking and cleaning since he is the one inviting them and you have cleared stated your feelings of not wanting them there.
Let him make the dinner and entertain then. If it’s all his idea and his family then don’t participate. He should respect your wishes and understand.
Why don’t you have a choice?!
Tell him he can have his family over but you won’t be cooking or cleaning for the holiday. That would be my issue with it all. If I was expected to do all the prep on my own? Fuck that.
Do you not like his family? Kinda your family now too. Maybe your house is the biggest. Its only holidays? Shoot we have family card game night…family Bbq. Family Every other weekend. Is it the mess they leave? Is it too many family members in one house? I do understand it can be overwhelming to someone who isn’t used to having that much family. It could be just y’all and no family. Which is worse girl. Maybe your husband is the yarn keeping his family together. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if you went and did your own thing.
Yes you do kick him out and tell him not to come back since he’s no respect for you
If he wants to host Easter, let him do all the cooking and cleaning up.
You should talk about compromise and see about you guys alternating holidays. You guys can sometimes hosts at your house, and his family can host other holidays so you can actually sit and enjoy them for once.
I would make other plans, even if it is to stay at a local hotel for the weekend alone. He wants the holiday there, he can handle it.
Family is important, trust me, when your parents are gone, the dynamic changes. What are we talking? 4 times out of the year? Have a pot luck or cater to ease up on cooking. Set a time to arrive & leave so it’s not ALL day. It sounds like your family loves your hospitality, even if you don’t “celebrate” Easter, it’s important family time.
Unmmm. You do have a choice? It’s your house too? It’s called having mutual respect for one another ?
Next time he invites them all just tell him to plan everything himself, clean, cook, serve, wash up, clean again and to let you know what time whatever it is he’s planning will be served. Then on the day dress up and enjoy your own home as one of the guests 
No is a complete sentence you are not obligated to do anything against your will. It’s your house too.
Honey you do have a choice if you don’t want to host people at your house just say no who cares if it pisses his family off it’s your house yours and his you both make the rules and the decisions not just one
Talk to him. Nicely. Hear each other out. My guess is he is proud to have a place to be able to do it. Wants to share it.
I’m with everyone telling you to let him clean, cook, entertain, and then clean again! You definitely have choices…girl, speak up and let your choice be known!! Have at it, hubby!!
Dang is it even your house too? How can you not have a say-so. That’s ctazy
He can outsource ALL cooking and cleaning before and after every event then. You DO have a choice. “NO” is a complete sentence.
I agree. Everyone should take a turn hosting. That’s just common courtesy.
Why don’t you celebrate Easter if you always have it at u house then it’s time for it. To be at the other house
Of course you do he can’t force you to cook go out for the day if you have to rent a hotel room
You have concerns and want a change. The only way to make that happen, is to instrument them. He will not change anything without a catalyst to spark his need for that change.
Absolutely not. You totally have a right to feel that way. Sit down and pick the holidays you actually enjoy hosting. Those are yours if you choose!
You should have a choice. And you should be able to talk things out with each other and come to a resolution. I’m sure you both have solid reasons for wanting to do it a certain way…but compromise should not always be on your part only. No, you are not wrong for having your preferences . I hope you guys can talk it out. Because living the rest of your life having to shrink your voice and compromise is no way to live.
Meh, let him prep, cook and clean by himself.
I would just let him have his family over and I would make plans to have a day to myself doing what I want to do. He would have to do all the cooking and cleanup himself. If he doesn’t like that idea, then he can go to one of their homes for Easter dinner. He needs to be willing to make sacrifices just like you do. Marriage is a two way street where both of your feelings should matter. That’s my opinion.
Good… his family, so he gets to clean, go shopping & cook. Help him, but he gets to do most of it. He DOES NOT get to sit back and watch you. Win Win… you get to relax on Easter and enjoy family time.
I would put my foot down and tell him that I would love to go to their house 
some time on the holidays
I never refer to my husbands family as his family, they’re my family as well… Holidays should be spent with families, and it’s his house too. Just saying. but if it bothers you that much, have him do the clean up and cooking.
Yes you have a choice! Leave for the day. Go to the beach, get a massage or have a spa day. You dont celebrate it so you dont have to be there
Communicate…that’s the only option
Perhaps if you did believe and celebrate Easter, you may get joy at celebrating with family. As far as hosting, ask members of the family to bring a side dish to reduce the amount of work on you. You could do the dishes and clean up while your inlaws are there to help. If you take this to God in prayer, He will get you through the day.
If you don’t believe, you shouldn’t have to host a religious celebration. Put your foot down. You have a say. If they want to celebrate Easter, let those that believe celebrate it. You shouldn’t be forced to host all the time. My family celebrates Christmas, I don’t I go to my mother’s to see my family, I do exchange gifts out of respect, but it means nothing to me.
It sounds to me like he’s incredibly proud of being a homeowner and wants to include his family on that. Is it a recent purchase? The new will wear off but man, what I wouldn’t give for a husband that wants his family around for holidays
Your husband is proud of his home & what you guys have accomplished.
On the other hand he should listen to you on your thoughts. I would tell him you have plans & you will not be there on Easter. Go as far as doing a group text with the inlaws that attended. Letting them know you will be out of town, they are welcome to do Easter dinner at your home. However it will be potluck style everyone will need to bring something. Yes, this may cause a fight with you & hubby. Nothing will change if you don’t make it change.
Everyone in family should pick a holiday to host yearly.
My mother in law and I split holidays. It’s less overwhelming that way and more enjoyable for everyone.
Tell him now that you just need a break! If he doesn’t respect you after that you have bigger problems then house guests.
While you should have a say, I would never tell him he can’t have his family over. I would expect him to do most of the preparation for it.
The kids will soon grow up and be gone; The family gatherings will be a thing of the past. The question is, "How does he treat you. Do you feel like a third wheel Do you get the feeling that they honestly like you or do you feel like they are talking about you?
There is always a choice, put your selfish feelings aside and endure the family you married or let him host his family and take your self some where else. You always have a choice. Is your home the biggest, does everyone bring a dish for dinner, you left out a lot to consider
Take turns on the holidays hosting. And when it’s your turn at your house, have your husband do the cooking and entertaining! Maybe you could even be conveniently gone to your family’s house…