Am I in the Wrong for Wanting to Move Out?

This question was submitted to our community via our Facebook page and/or our Answers forum. Responses are also taken from the community. If you have your own parenting or relationship question you would like answers to, submit on Facebook or Answers.

QUESTION:

"My husband and I have been together for 8 years. And all of those 8 years have been spent living at his parents old home. His parents moved off and left him in charge of their home. He’s paid the mortgage for 13 years (along with the insurance). Before we were married I was told, once the house was paid off it would be put into his name. The house has been paid off for 3 years…The house is in dire need of repairs. He has asked his parents about putting the house in his name, and he was flat out told no. He asked to purchase the home so we could do the proper repairs, and was told no once again. They have no plans on signing it over. He was told he would one day inherit it with his sister. His mom has told him that if we want to do any repairs that we need to pay out of pocket. “Just do one project at a time.” Anytime I bring it up or mention moving, he immediately gets defensive! Am I wrong for wanting to move out? I love my husband, but I don’t feel like this is fair to me and my children. I want better for them. I want something that will one day belong to me!"

RELATED: Mother-in-Law Surprises Son and His Wife By Moving Next Door, Then Leaves Them To Take Care of Her House and Chickens For Months

TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):

The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.

"If he’s paid the mortgage for 13 yrs yall need a lawyer! He owns that house"

"HELL NO. They got their house paid off for free then, because I don’t believe they paid them a dime towards it since they weren’t there. I would have had that $hit in writing that it would be signed over once it was paid off… too late now I suppose. I would want to move out too and I wouldn’t put another CENT into the house because it’s not yours. The only thing I would pay for at this point is a lawyer."

"Umm he owns that house. Consult a lawyer and if he doesn’t want that sue them for a good portion of everything he has paid into it. It’s pathetic that his parents have taken advantage of him like that."

"A court would more than likely tell him tough luck and they would consider it rent being no contract. Move and buy your own place."

"Just move. Even if you get a lawyer to dispute the claim to the home, which you’d lose most likely, you’d later have to dispute the claim over the house with your sister-in-law. It’s not worth it. Just move."

"If he can prove he paid the mortgage, he might have at least a partial legal claim to the house. As the resident, mortgage payer, and insurer, his claim as part owner has validity. He’ll need to stand up to his parents though."

"I would say consult a lawyer and see what your options even are legally and go from there."

"So basically you’re renting without a contract. But your landlord/in-laws don’t want to cover repairs. That’s called a slum lord. Time to stop renting from his parents and get your own place if that one is in disrepair & they won’t fix it. No way I’d be paying for upgrades or repairs in someone else’s home unless I were responsible for the damage. You’re just building their equity with very little benefit to you. Why not be building your own equity somewhere else? Or at least have a landlord that will repair stuff? When he inherits the house with his sister later on he can figure out what he wants to do with it."

"I would get all documents together of where you have paid for the last 13 years. Save them. Fix it but keep all receipts and documents of it. Then when it does get split it may be something that has to be battled in court with sister. Have a talk with sister now and get something in legal standing with her about buying her out. If you want none of the hassel then go buy a new home. Regardless it’s going to put a strain on marriage any way you go. He should of got in writing when he took over payments it was going to be his and had a land contract drawn up. I don’t see this ending good any way it goes. Unless sister doesn’t care and gives him her half of the house."

"I would move out it will never be just yours"

Have a response to this question? Leave it below to help a mama out! Or leave your own question and get responses from real moms!

READ ALL ANSWERS BELOW: