My mother in law came to my house to watch my kids while me and her son went to work today. He’s working 7-7 and I’m working 7-3. My kids are 8 and 4 (he’s in a leg cast). My 8 year old messages me and says her grandma is still sleeping at almost 10:30 and now little brother is awake. She basically didn’t know what to do. I don’t expect her to stay awake the whole time she’s there but sleeping until 10:30 seems excessive to me. My 8 year old has been awake since before 7:30. She doesn’t watch the kids often in fact she lives across the country and is in town visiting. I just feel like for someone who never sees their grandkids this was a great opportunity to spend time with them and get to know them.
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If she lives across the country then her body is not on you time zone. Because she is sleepy does not mean she doesn’t want to spend time with her grandchildren
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If she lives across the country her sleep is probably off from the time change. Just because she slept until 10:30am doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to spend time with her grandchildren. Give her some grace.
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Grandma has a different sleep schedule due to the time ,she’s visiting not here to babysit, surely u had a babysitter before she came
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If the 4 year old is awake she should be. Personal preference.
8 might be ok with an adult in the home but I just don’t feel 4 is.
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Not over reacting at all. I’m a MiMi, and I would never sleep when I’m with the grandkids, not bc I miss them so much, but bc its a responsibility! Idgaf what time zone she’s on, it’s kidzone to me!!!
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Practice connection and less judgment. I’d ask her what’s up.
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Why didn’t the 8 year old wake her up?
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My dad lives across the country from us. When they first get here 8am to us it’s 5am to them. It takes them a few days to adjust. When did she get in?
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Can the 8 year old not just wake her up and let her know the little one is awake ?
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Does Grandma have any medical conditions that would cause her to sleep that long, or maybe took meds that would cause her to sleep in? Go to her as a concerned DIL and ask how she is before beating her down.
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So normally I would say that this isn’t okay if she had agreed to watch your kids and was sleeping when a 4 year old is awake. However, she’s from a different time zone, and it kind of sounds like she’s visiting and you just took it as an opportunity for a baby sitter.
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You’re definitely overreacting, calm down, maybe she was tired from her long journey. It’s not that serious all your 8 year old had to do was wake her up. Chill I don’t think she doesn’t want to spend time with her grandkids she was just sleeping dang. U act like she went to the bar and left the kids. Just wake her up
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Well my opinion you’re not too worried about it because if you were you would have called her and woke her up and not come on the internet to ask people their opinion who cares what other people think you’re the mother you know what’s best for your kids internet don’t
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You’re working Granma is visiting Surely you have a babysitter
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…I thought this was leading up to her sleeping during the day, while she was supposed to be watching small children/toddlers…this post is very dramatic to ultimately end with saying that she simply slept until 10:30 a.m. If there are other things that are leading you to react so strongly to this, then I would be honest with yourself and try to work on it before it creates further problems. If nothing is causing this and you just are genuinely appalled that anyone sleeps past 7, I think you really need to lighten up.
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Maybe your husband should talk to his Mom instead of her getting blasted on FB. I totally understand your concern, and maybe the kids should know to wake her up when they get up. Doesn’t seem like a tough issue to solve. Poor Gramma!!
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Is there a time difference where she lives? Across the country could mean a 3-4 hour time difference. Maybe she didn’t realize how significant that adjustment would be & should’ve set an alarm.
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Wow! This post seems to be so dramatic!
Chill out & let her rest. She’s there visiting not your baby sitter.
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I’m a grandmother who keeps my grandbaby full time. I only nap when he naps.
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Maybe she was tired from traveling? Maybe she’s not used to waking up that early or perhaps because of time zone differences she’s usually asleep at that time. Maybe she meant to wake up and forgot to set an alarm or is like me and alarms don’t wake her up. Maybe instead of asking the internet what they think you should talk to her and ask her the why’s and if she wants the first kid to wake up to wake her up when she’s watching them and let her know you’re not comfortable with the kids being up by themselves so if she’s unwilling/unable to be awake you can make other care arrangements for them. Maybe she could pick them up from whoever normally keeps them when she wakes up. I am sure she wants to spend time with her grandchildren and was just tired.
Guess depends on the kids, and how long GMA slept. If she slept until noon I’d be upset. My kids have always been pretty self sufficient even at an early age. Many times after working I’d sleep on the couch while the kids would play. Kinda like eyes closed but ears on high alert.
I would never let someone sleep if they were watching my kids. Myself nor my husband even sleep while our kids are awake. I’d be irked and she wouldn’t be watching them alone again.
If she needs a special sleep schedule then she shouldn’t have offered to watch a 4 year old!
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Give her a chance. Geez. It’s not what you say. She’s her own person.
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Personally, if I were in that situation, I would rather her sleep and be more alert if something happened, then try to force herself to stay awake and not be able to react as well. Maybe she intended to only take a short nap but her body was so exhausted that it needed more time to rest. I know that when I am exhausted, I end up falling asleep, unintentionally, for several hours.
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Maybe time adjustments issues .
Also , why are you leaving them with her if she doesn’t see them often , is like leaving them with a stranger .
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the MIL could be on medication, have an illness, could be adjusting to the time change or just was so dog tired she overslept accidentally. Maybe wake her up in the morning to have breakfast with you and her son and then she’s up has eaten and you can be at peace while younare on your way
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She’s in town visiting and what u both see it as free babysitting. YOU said she lives across country and is town VISITING, so u expect her to watch ur children?! Hey grandma don’t see u often uve traveled across country but here watch the kids while we work because we made no plans because we knew u where coming. She came to visit not babysit. The poor woman probably came to see her grandchildren not be the babysitter. She’s here too see yoy all not be childcare.
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Have you ever thought her sleep pattern was probably off as well as time zone and sleeping in strange bed could have stopped her from even getting any sleep until wee hrs in the morning, she probably just zonked out, at her age she most probably never gets up early, I know I don’t at my age unless the house was burning down I wouldn’t be up early either 
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Let’s see…
Older individual, most likely retired after a long life of work, is on vacation, travels across the country and she sleeps until 10:30
Well, honestly if you want better hold care, go pay someone to operate on your time expectations and they’ll want to be paid. Spending time, or let’s call it what it is, babysitting your kids isn’t the huge reward you seem to think it is
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If she lives across the country, her sleep schedule is not on your time
Maybe something is wrong with MIL that’s making her tired. Maybe she is tired from traveling Id have a conversation with her and see if everything is okay
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Not over reacting! I would be very upset. If she couldn’t handle the responsibility then she should had said no. I am a gramma I couldn’t do that to my grandbabies. I wouldn’t trust to ask her again
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Why wouldn’t an 8 year old wake grandma up before calling mom? I cant help but wonder if 8 year old heard prior conversations. Kids hear everything!!
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Don’t assume everyone will know what is right for your children.is she elderly coming from a different time exhausted from entertaining babies?she won’t be babiesitting them for much longer let her enjoy them don’t raise a stink.she was probably eager to help but didn’t know what was expected or required.in the future give everyone who watches your. expectations and rules.
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Don’t think you are gonna get the validation you seek from this post. You guys should be happy that his mom is still in yours and your kids lives. I lost my mother and my kids lost their grandma last Wednesday. Its not that serious hun
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I’d give her a break. The time change is probably affecting her. Now if she lived close and this was happening then I’d no concerned but I’d say it’s the time change, she probably can’t help it
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She came to watch them & be help but isn’t helping. Talk to her to see if you can come to some sort of resolution because she may have jetlag. If that doesn’t help & she cant adjust, thank her for her time & help. She tried. Hire help
She probably assumed the noises she heard wasn’t kids considering she may not be around them alot she will be gone soon and be grateful everyone is okay. It sucks i know but we all have at one point passed out with our kids awake. Lol
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Why not just have kids wake her up when they wake up , she’s no on your same schedule , and why does an 8 year old need a phone that ridiculous, . It’s not the end of the world . I’m sure when your home up the minute they open their eyes , all the 8 year old had to do is wake your mother.
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Did it happen in many instances or just once? Maybe she wasn’t feeling well so she had to sleep in? Maybe she had troubles sleeping last night or her body clock is still not adjusted as you said she is from a different time zone? You said she basically didn’t know what to do, but in fact she raised your husband so she does know how to take care of her grandchildren, it’s just that she’s been free of that kind of responsibility for many years. You even said she doesn’t watch the kids very often which means her routine doesn’t really include watching kids. There could be many reasons, you have to find out first before you judge her unless there’s something else between your relationship with her.
Let’s be honest her body isn’t adjusted to the time change and that’s not her fault. She needs her sleep also but it doesn’t sound like she came to your house to watch the grandkids it sounds like she came to visit and instead of you guys finding a suitable babysitter like you should’ve you thought it was acceptable to have grandma babysit the kids on her visit because you guys didn’t want to pay a sitter.
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You should never leave kids unattended. Idc the circumstances. If she were too tired, she should’ve said so. I would be highly pissed at WHOM EVER it be, fell asleep while babysitting my children. 1 little accident and everything is going to shit. Not okay.
Too many bad things can happen in a flash. She should have been up when you left for work!!!
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How old is she? Speak to her. Probably she didn’t plan to sleep for so long. She agreed and probably slept unintentionally.
And you have every right to be concerned. I’m sure a chat it will all be cleared. Be strong Queen.
The grandma should have been awake with the kids. But, they aren’t her kids, she isn’t used to having kids. She isn’t on your schedule. You shouldn’t be so offended by it. She obviously wasn’t intentionally neglecting them. You should talk to her about your schedule and expectations and make sure she has an alarm clock set in the future. And when you come home, ask her how her day was and what was the most difficult for her and see f you can do anything to make it easier, or if it is simply too overwhelming for her. Communication is key in any relationship.
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She’s probably off her sleep schedule and it’s hard to adjust.
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She’s from a different country and visiting and you don’t see her that often then is why your partner working surely he would of booked the time off work to spend with his mum,
You’re not overreacting! Your concerns are valid, especially considering your mother-in-law (MIL) was entrusted with childcare responsibilities while you and her son were at work.
Here’s why your concerns make sense:
- Responsibility: Your MIL agreed to watch the kids, implying she was capable and willing to care for them.
- Sleeping in: Waking up at 10:30 AM, when your 8-year-old has been awake since 7:30 AM, seems excessive, especially with a 4-year-old (with a leg cast) needing attention.
- Missed opportunity: As you mentioned, this visit was a rare chance for your MIL to bond with her grandkids, and sleeping through a significant part of the morning misses that opportunity.
- Inconvenience: Your 8-year-old was left uncertain about how to manage the situation, which might have caused anxiety.
It’s essential to communicate your concerns with your partner and MIL in a calm, respectful manner. You may want to express your expectations and concerns, such as:
- “Hey, I appreciate your help with the kids, but I was surprised to hear you slept in until 10:30 AM. I understand needing rest, but I hoped you’d spend quality time with the kids during your visit.”
- “In the future, if you need rest, perhaps we can arrange a nap time for you during the kids’ naptime or find alternative childcare arrangements.”
Remember to prioritize open communication and finding solutions that work for everyone involved.
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I sleep around my grandbabies! They run me to where I’m over exhausted.
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If the kids are awake the adults need to be awake
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Depends on your definition of across country. If it is north to south with no time change, then there is no reason unless medical/medicinal. If you mean east to west there could be a time difference of +/- 3ish hours if you live in the states. Which means 1030am to you could be 730am to her.
And older people, just like younger ones, have a hard time adjusting to time differences in general.
Give her some leeway. Just remind her that the kids get up at whatever time, ask her if she has set an alarm. Be gentle, she doesn’t take care of kids all day anymore, so it isn’t like it is in her routine.
Give her a break. The fact the child messaged you instead of waking up his grandma says more about our youth than I would like…
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I wouldn’t trust her with them alone anymore. Leaving a little kid while sleeping is not safe.
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So what do y normally do when she’s not around
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She’s came to visit and you put her to work? It’s very likely there is a time change that should have been considered so even though it’s 10:30 there what time would it have been for her? Combine that time difference with potential jet lag and I’d say you may be being a little to hard/inconsiderate towards her.
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Wow! How old is she? Did she drive to your house? All questions I would ask before judging as I find the older I get the more tired I am when traveling by car. I found that at 70 years and younger I still had a lot of energy. Even now I can’t sleep past 8am. Talk to her. Best wishes.
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She’s probably got some jet lag. Why didn’t the 8 year old just wake her up? If she can text she can wake grandma up and say brother is awake. Also though, I definitely take a cat nap sometimes while my 7, 4, and 2 year old play 
I’m right there and my 7 year old can wake me if need be.
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Talk to her. Find out what’s wrong. You will be surprised
Look after your own kids then
Did anyone even check to see if she was alive before berating her?
Call her phone & wake her up!
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If she lives across the country, she’s probably jet lagged and sleep pattern is off. It will take some time for adjustment.
I would talk to your husband and tell him hey go check on your mom daughter called and said Grandma is still asleep and it’s 10:30. I’m a bit concerned. Find out why she overslept. Did she spend the night there? Did she come over in the morning? What did she look like in the morning if she showed up there? Did she look wide awake and ready to start the day? Did she look tired? So many questions before we can just jump to conclusions and call this MIL lazy or rude for being asleep.
Maybe when you get to our age, you’ll appreciate us more… We need our naps!! Let’s keep in mind THEY’RE YOUR CHILDREN, WERE ONLY TRYING TO HELP!!!
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That’s disgusting
I would be mad as hell
Have you heard of jet lag? Did you tell her she’d be babysitting while you 2 worked full time while she was visiting? Did you tell her what time the kids wake up? Maybe she isn’t feeling well. Maybe she didn’t realize how the time change would affect her. Maybe you should of stuck with your regular babysitter and let grandma get some rest.
Why not get a babysitter, let your mother in law rest and visit them.
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Was she there to be a babysitter? Did she know that she was suppose to be babysitting for them? Maybe you should have woken her up before you want to work.
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I mean… she’s on vacation to see her grandkids. Babysitting was probably not in her original plan ? But the 8yo would be fine with minimal supervision. The four year old, not so much.
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Would you feel the same way if it were your mother and not your mother in law?
Tell your 8yr old to wake her …like ?
No idea be wondering why she isent up with the kids …
Did anyone even try to wake her? Sure doesn’t sound like it. Why didn’t you or your husband call to check in and see how things were going?
This sounds shady to me. She came all across the country to watch your kids TODAY? Just one day, a week?!? I’m sure that’s not the reason she came.
Maybe she’s exhausted from traveling.
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How simple is it for the 8 year old to wake up grandma?
Maybe this is a wake up call how coddled the child is that they can’t solve the simplest issue.
Old people are tired.
You are making a big deal over nothing and are being extra.
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Poor granny is probably tired. That’s you expecting an in-house sitter because she’s there visiting. There’s probably a time difference too.
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Nah time difference is irrelevant, if you’re responsible for watching anyone’s kids you need to be awake the whole time, doesn’t matter how tired you are
But why couldn’t the 8 year old just wake her up?
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She’s probably jet lagged!
Hire s sitter snd don’t start anything. It ain’t worth it🥴
When did she arrive? How did she travel? Did you attempt to wake her before y’all left? What time did she go to sleep? Was it discussed she’d be up and watch the kids? Was she in a room with a door closed or on a couch, visable? How old is she? As we age, menapause makes you pregnant/newborn stage tired. There’s not enough caffiene on the planet to keep you awake if exhaustion hits. Sounds made up but it is absolutely a thing. Is she on any medications causing tiredness?
Generally, I’d say she should be awake for the 4yr old. That said, why didn’t the 8yr old wake her up? My kids would wake grandma up.
I have questions.
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If it was just the 4 year old I’d be more concerned but since there’s an 8 yr old too I wouldn’t be as concerned. If the wasn’t up by noon then I’d def not be happy but if she just traveled and yall left before 7 I can see why she’s still asleep.
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Find a baby sitter and Don’t depend on your mother in law who travelled cross country to be there. Bonding doesnt require babysitty. Have you considered she is old and in a different time zone? Let the babysitter be there while grandma is visiting. Nothing is wrong with that! You sound entitled. Maybe tell the kids to let grandma know they are up! I sleep while my kids are up if I need some rest so who is grandma?!
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Girl, just wait until you are her age. As we age, our bodies change and may require more sleep. If you are concerned about kids safety, which doesn’t sound like you are, then you need to let gma know she must be awake while she’s there. But her sleeping in isn’t going to take away from bonding time. Let the woman rest.
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She’s visiting from across the country. Did you give her a chance to adjust to the time change or is she just immediately expected to babysit?
I would give anything to have my mother in law alive. You’re so blessed to have the help maybe try talking to your husband about it or don’t ask her to watch the kids.
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Simple put. Yes you are over reacting big time.
She’s an old woman who’s just travelled to a different time zone and is more than likely tired.
Why didn’t you make sure she was up before you left the house??
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Why didnt you tell the kids to wake her? Maybe shes a deep sleeper
I can see how it could be annoying if it happens everyday and even after a discussion. In my experience though, a 4 year old and an 8 year old should be OK without being watched closely for a short time. My 5 year old, watches TV for an hour or so while I sleep with the toddler as I’m pregnant and exhausted. He knows to wake me up if needed. Maybe he is just more independent and mature for his age, but he knows what he isn’t allowed to touch and can grab snacks and even water if he needs. I wouldn’t be mad at my MIL if it’s occasional, and I don’t even like my MIL because she’s very irresponsible and does not respect my boundaries and parenting.
Someone who is watching the kids should be awake while they are awake if anything happens while the babysitter is asleep is that gonna change the fact the child is hurt or change the trouble that is gonna be in your house by CPS if something was to happen. Things can be prevented if a someone is awake watching the children while they are awake. It is not crazy to think she should be awake while you young kids are awake.
Tatiana Cournoyer man no compassion for the fact she lives across country so I’m sure is on a different time zone so her schedule is different than theirs… Some of us lost our mom before our kids were born she should be grateful she has someone coming across the country to see them and maybe take some time off and spend time with her instead of her being a babysitter🤷🏼♀️
I must be the worst mom ever. My 8 year old son is easily awake a few hours before me (weekends that is) if he’s hungry before I wake up he just makes himself a bowl of cereal or grabs some yogurt before I wake up to give him a real feast.
Don’t take this as an offence but I am more worried that an 8years old doesn’t know what to do, where my 5 years old wakes up before me and sometimes makes her own breakfast and than plays in a room with my 1 year old 
they wake up 6:30 I wake up around 7ish…. So yeah, maybe MIL is really tired?
8 yr old should be fine awake alone. It’s time to get up when 4 yr old wake. Just tell child to wake granny and let her know LO is up. I would have just called and woke her. Not a big deal to me.
If Grandma traveled across country then her sleep is most definitely screwed up and you should cut her some slack til she gets acclimated to your time zone! Doesn’t seem like she’s had time to do that yet! Maybe you should’ve hired a babysitter for the first couple days!
Traveling takes a toll on the body. Let the woman rest. Your kids were probably awake the rest of the day so can she not spend time with them after she wakes up?
Then let her be grandma instead of a childcare provider…
I am recovering from Cancer and am really exhausted maybe she is not well.
then i guess im a terrible parent bc my kids definitely be watching themselves sometimes 
get over it.