Am I over thinking this situation with my husbands family?

Shame on them. Our oldest grandson is biologically not my son’s. However, he has always been our “gift son.” He is loved as much as all of our grandchildren. So happy he is in our lives!

Ya your husband needs to put them in their place.

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Pull the bull by the horns and SPEAK UP now before it eats u alive!! Thats awful!!!

they need to be told about how you feel

What they all are saying, let husband talk to his family to see what is going on and to let them know he is not ok with their behavior. Idk what is wrong with people, i love my nephews all the same biological or not they are still family.

Yes it’s an issue that needs to be addressed

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Not petty at all. That’s not right.

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Some people are ignorant like that! I know from personal experience.

Your Husband needs to address it

Something similar happened with us. My husband and I have been together since our oldest daughter was 4, she’s 23 now, husband adopted her. A few Christmases ago, when she was around 18, his dad and step-mom said they weren’t spending a lot on Christmas anymore, specifically for the older kids. Fine. I thought they overdid it anyway. They sent our 2 youngest daughters 150.00 each and nothing to the oldest, which hurt her feelings as she thought she counted with them. I thought so too. She said that she thought they’d at least send a card. :woman_shrugging:t5: THEN; since they forgot about social media, she saw all the other grandkids (similar age) posting pictures of the expensive things they got from Grandma and Grandpa. :eyes: So then she was really hurt. My husband was PISSED. He called them out on it, got a lie that they didn’t buy the others much and then busted them out because we’d seen it on Instagram. :joy: Things have never really been the same since. I always got a bad vibe that they were fake so it only proved it for me, I tried to use it as a life lesson for my daughter. Now I don’t have to spend holidays with people I’m not totally comfortable with anyway. I feel like at least it’s out in the open now. How hard would it have been to put 100 in each card, rather than 150 while leaving one child out? We sent the 300.00 back to them. They live 25 minutes away and never bother with our children anyway. From the outside looking in, it’s because my husband the black sheep of his family. Sad but a fact.

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My husband adopted our oldest daughter and then we had two more children. His family wanted to call our oldest “half”, “step” and other things and leave her out. My husband put an end to it fast and said those words were never to be used that she is his full daughter and she is full sister. Told all of them if he ever heard it again they would not see any of the children again.

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My oldest daughter was treated the same way by husbands family . She was only 2 when we got married and they acted like she was invisible! The great grandmother would ask for her greats to come sit around her for a family photo . My daughter would go with the other children and the grandmother pushed her back and said ‘ you’re not one of us’:japanese_ogre::japanese_ogre:. My hubby never spoke up for me or my child … I wish now I had went bat crazy on her !! My marriage soon ended …

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I’m sorry, that’s tough!

It needs to be addressed

I have family that is similar to this. The kid isn’t biological to the dad and his family treats him different. Even came to his bday party and told the wrong kid happy birthday and never once corrected themselves and told the right kid happy birthday. We stopped messing with them and don’t even pay mind to them anymore :woman_shrugging: treat all kids equal or lose your place in all of their lives… I don’t play when it comes to kids and you are NOT being petty. You’re being a concerned mother as you should be

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I would voice your concerns in a calm manner. Nothing wrong with wanting your son to feel included. :slight_smile:

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Your husband needs to address this with his family. You are absolutely right to feel the way you do and you are not being petty at all.

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It’s not fair to your little boy one day he is going to realise he is being treated differently i would talk to your husband’s family about their behaviour towards your son

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I have a granddaughter thats biological not mine but I treat her no different than the rest I wouldn’t expect nothing but that with my chid.

Family doesn’t have to be blood! He adopted him, is married to you, you partake in the other children’s lives…its not fair that they don’t partake in his!! Your husband needs to say something to them!

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That was not there place to do this. Hell with them you don’t need a family like that

My kids are biological and they still have nothing to do with them. Their dad takes them.around them but they’re 17 and 14 now, the damage is done. It’s a “hey” and that’s it. I’ve wanted to say something but now that my kids are older, the family kinda know how our kids feel.

If you don’t speak up that child will resent them forever…example me

My in laws do this. My first isn’t biologically my husband’s but my second is and they both are left out. My mil shares pictures of my niece all day long but never our kids. One time a friend thought my niece was our kid bc she’s never seen a picture of our son on my mil page. I thought that would’ve been an eye opener, but it wasn’t. Our kids still cease to exist. :woman_shrugging:t5: it’s whatever.

I feel this completely I am going through this with my fiance’s family and sad thing is my kids are biologicaly his. I have learned that my kids will grow up and know who was there for them. You can’t force anyone to do anything. You just have to let it go and let people learn the hard way

While hurtful for you it’s must be even more so for your child. Kids really do notice these things.
As it is your husband’s family, he should address this so as to keep you from seeming petty or jealous.

I recommend a direct conversation. Tho we were all biologically from the same place, I was often ‘left behind’ when siblings and cousins got to go do fun stuff with members of our extended family. To this day, I have no idea why (I was a well-behaved, intelligent and compassionate kid…); but I still, viscerally, remember how it felt. For any kid in that spot, being the one left behind, with no idea why, SUCKS. :cold_sweat:

Your husband needs to grow a couple…
He needs to straighten this out. If they don’t come to the boys celebrations,.then they are not invited to the other siblings celebrations.
If he doesn’t stand up for all his kids…he definitely won’t stand up for you… get a new one.

You should say something. Your son is still family rather your husband adopted him or not. I’d never tolerate my children being treated like that without me voicing my opinion

I am so sorry for you and your son…families and extended families can be so hurtful but it may not be helpful for you or your husband to draw attention to the situation- as your son grows and interacts with your famllies more- they may become more accepting that he is a real part of the family- you might want to pay close attention to your son’s comments on this issue and try to help him see that ,as time goes by, and he interacts with those who are not as accepting he may find these folks may do a better job of making him part of the family!

That is terrible. When two people marry any children become theirs. Biological or not. Tell your son he is loved

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My husband mother does this. My son lives with biological father and my husband accepts him completely, and so do my sister in laws but his mom “forgets” about him. She always counts her daughter’s step kids as her own but forgets about my son. She says she has 9 grandkids and I always mention, she has 10, but he still gets forgotten. You just love your babies the best you can, there’s nothing you can force others to do.