Some women “hide” the date by not mentioning what they’d like for or like to do on their birthday, hoping their partner would surprise them and then, when there’s no acknowledgement of the date, the birthday person gets upset.
You may need to give your partner reminders or just flat out tell him you’d like “X” for your birthday and you’d like to do “y” on the date to celebrate. Tell your boyfriend you’d like to have dinner together and go see a new movie or go to a club and dance with friends. Let your partner know you’ve arranged a baby sitter. See if you get a response. If you don’t get any kind of response, you are going to need to start asking yourself questions about the relationship.
Happy 30th Birthday!
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It was my 30th not long ago he got me gifts from the kids and himself but we didn’t do anytbing as my nan passed away 2 days before my birthday so I wasn’t interested in doing dinner or whatever.
It’s common sense to say happy birthday and buy a little gift for your other half - unless you both agree not to so.
Communication is keys men can’t read minds same as women - 
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All the people saying put it in the diary and all of this wow you really been settling for some bare minimum if the person you are laying next to everynight can’t even remember your birthday but bet when it’s the other way round if he was treated like that he would have something to say
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Do not do / give special stuffs/ attention to anyone and expect the same in return
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No. Dump him. He’s showing you who he is.
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Communication is everything honestly. Speak up and explain to him that you think he’s amazing and that it does however hurt you that he doesn’t go all out or even acknowledge your birthday. That you’d enjoy being pampered that day and spending time with him.
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If he wanted to, he would.
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She shouldn’t have to tell him it should be common sense
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He could at least get you a card. Acknowledge your special day. He would definitely do something for you, if he wanted to.
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Let me put it like this…I once had a man that did everything for my birthday…gifts, dinner, etc. He was the biggest narcissist you could ever imagine. Big P.O.S. And all the things he did for me were thrown in my face during and after the break up. Pick your battles, love. There aren’t a million good men out there. There’s only a few.
I’ve been with my husband 45 years he just doesn’t shop. The first few years I was broken hearted but I love him and accept who he is. No cards or gifts. I used to get flowers from time to time but I’d rather have a great genuine but than cards and presents. His presence is enough for me. Not saying I would object if he started but …happily ever after
genuine man. not genuine but. typos!!
I would make arrangements for a sitter and tell him, “I’ve got a babysitter for my birthday tomorrow, so you can take me out to dinner.”
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I honestly feel sorry for women who think this is okay. This is not even something that you should have to communicate. Leave him. He does not care.
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Yes you should say something. Why on earth would you just lock it away and hold that resentment in. Something like hey ya know I feel like I give and give yet hardly receive for birthdays and such and it kinda stings. He may not even realize what he’s done. As a girl I do that all the time. It’s my birthday but it’s just another day, nothing special when in my head I just want someone to reach out and make a small deal out of it! Speak up it’s okay.
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I know where your coming from even a card goes a long way.
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You should definitely bring it to his attention, but not in an accusatory way or like you’re attacking him. Just sit down and talk to him and ask him why.
My husband and I were this way. I would make sure he had a cake and present(s) for his birthday, but it was never the same on my birthday, Mother’s Day, Christmas, etc. I finally asked him why.
Growing up, he never really got to celebrate birthdays and in turn he grew up to believe birthdays are just another day.
He also pointed it out that when it comes to birthdays, anniversaries and holidays, he didn’t see the point in exchanging gifts because were both adults, we both work and we buy what we want/need when we want/need.
I understood his point of view. But I also expressed to him that the idea of him listening to me say that I wanted something and him taking the time to go and get it for me for a birthday/Christmas etc, meant a lot to me because it showed that he was listening and thinking of me.
You have to communicate with him.
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We never do much besides say it. Flowers and maybe dinner. Mother’s Day and Father’s Day we always acknowledge
I mean, my fiance always says he doesn’t know what to get me so I usually throw him a handful of ideas. Maybe he doesn’t know whay to get you? And my fiance thinks cards are a waste if money, but still buys me one every Christmas vday and birthday because he knows I find them sentimental. You need to communicate with him how it makes you feel.
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Yes. Communication is key in a relationship.
I’ve been married 30 yrs and I think I’ve gotten a couple. Honestly it wasn’t the object that concerned me. Only the action of acknowledgment. There are other ways to say Happy Birthday other than material gifts. Honestly we couldn’t afford it. When we could it was usually a dinner out and a movie. On the other hand maybe his parents never taught him to celebrate birthdays. My father said they never did. Also my husband refuses for me to purchase cards. He’s always felt they are a waste of money. People look at them then throw them away. Why bother. I always agreed. Maybe he cares …he just shows it in his own way and your missing it. Talk to him. That’s what couples and best friends do.
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Oh girl, definitely tell him. You didn’t care the first couple of times so he probably legit has no idea that you even care. Talk to him🥺
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He is not a mind reader.
Tell him.
Does he KNOW you want gift or some remembrance of your birthday?
Personally I think adults “celebrating” their birthdays is ridiculous and egotistical.
Anything more than “Hey, Happy Birthday, Julia”, in my opinion, is not necessary.
Birthdays are for children, in my opinion.
Of you want a cake, a card, a gift, a party, tell him.
Be specific.
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If he’s not made the effort in 2 and half years then it’s does say a lot, talk to him, tell him how it makes you feel, he could if at least got you a card or some sort of acknowledgment, you celebrate his birthdays so he should really have known you would want your birthdays celebrated, it’s not about being a mind reader I think birthdays are common sense really
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Depends on the financial situation. If money isn’t the problem…or he doesn’t have to ask you for access to y’alls money…talk to him…if that does no good…skip his birthday…if he doesn’t care…then you know special occasions just aren’t special.to him…and reevaluate from there.
I would communicate how you are feeling with him.
If he really loves you he will adjust a few things and make an effort to make you feel special. If he chooses not to change anything I would leave.
Some men don’t buy gifts idl but I’d just talk to him about jt
It’s sad that he didn’t, but you know the saying sis… “If you want something done right…” I planned most of my 30th.
He has shown you who he really is. Believe him the first time! You don’t want that kind of relationship you don’t have to live like that. Sometimes the upgrade is being alone for awhile. Gather your important papers and silently go.
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Not to sound like a jerk or like I don’t think people deserve to be celebrated because I do stuff for my woman’s birthday. But doesn’t this woman hold some accountability for allowing it to happen the last 2 birthdays men won’t usually give what they don’t feel is expected of them. It’s that simple.
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You’re not a mind reader, and neither is he. Obviously you need to express that you enjoy getting gifts, maybe his love language is different. Communication is key for literally everything.
It should be common sense to get you something in return even if its simple flowers, card, chocolates, a supper out, just something. Your birthday is like mothers day, us moms deserve recognition as well as being recognized on our birthdays. But having a talk to him about this is a good idea. My guy told me that my gift is coming in the mail for both mothers day and birthday as they are a month apart. Its been 3 to 4 months and still nothing. Im currently expecting and he likes to use the baby as a gift im like no i deserve something else as im the one carrying the baby and suffeering the kicks and contractions plus giving birth to him. I deserve a gift especially since i got him one.
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Definitely tell him how you feel. I would also not do anything for him for his bday. Sounds pretty to those who always give. But to the person used it’s common sense.
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Some people aren’t raised to believe birthdays are a big deal. My husband was not…. But I was raised to believe that birthdays should be celebrated in a big way. Bottom line, you will likely find many differences in your upbringing. Communication is extremely important. So express how you are feeling and let him know that you were raised to celebrate birthdays so if he chooses not to celebrate you on your birthday, it actually really hurts your feelings. He may legitimately have no clue. It’s the way he responds AFTER you communicate your feelings that would matter. All these people saying “red flag” seem to not have much exposure to other cultures and backgrounds. You said he is a really good guy so that makes it seem that if you express your feelings, then he would gladly celebrate you. I’ll have been married to my husband ten years next month and he is incredible 
but I still had to have this conversation with him once I realized it wasn’t on his radar. Now he knows not to forget a birthday or Mother’s Day. Those two are very important to me. And I drop hints prior to the date. Like “hey, Mother’s Day is in two weeks… do you have a sitter yet or should I help find one?” I don’t set him up for failure because I know he doesn’t do well with dates (like MANY men). If you love him, talk to him girl. All the people on the internet aren’t a part of your relationship but I tell you, if you practice good communication and you treat him how you would want to be treated, it will do great things for your whole family.
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What did you get him for his last 2 birthdays?
Materialistic items shouldn’t matter. But he doesn’t even acknowledge your birthday, and it bothers you then you have to tell him.
But all these comments to leave him are crazy.
Imagine just walking away from a relationship because he didn’t buy a gift?! That’s seriously messed up.
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the fact he is a man is NOT an excuse… he’s selfish, and it’s not gunna get better 
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If he’s good with everything else in your relationship then don’t worry about it. If he shows effort in other areas then don’t worry about the birthday gift. But if you notice that you put effort into everything in your relationship and he doesn’t then that is a sign that he is selfish.
I’m at the age where id rather DO something TOGETHER for my birthday versus get gifts.
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Tell him an if he still doesn’t get or do anything for you then do the same to him, that’s the way I see it I’ve been in the same position WHATS WRONG WITH THESE MEN??
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Communication is key in this situation. You’re feelings are absolutely valid but take it with a grain of salt. Me and my husband, been together 11 years, are not big on celebrating birthdays unless family or friends do something for us.
Some people just don’t make birthdays out to be big deals and that is valid on their part as well but just talk to him about it. It’s also not a red flag or something to leave him over the ones saying that are being a bit extreme.
I’ve been married for almost 15 years and I can count on one hand how many times my husband has gotten me a gift. Some men make it a purpose to remember to do things like this, and some men just relatively do not give a crap. So don’t get your feelings hurt by this, if he won’t do it go by yourself something nice.
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If it hurts you feelings then you should’ve been saying something the first time it happened
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Talk to him about how you feel. If celebrating special occasions are of no interest to him, you can plan or buy something for yourself
When you didn’t said anything the first two times you kinda set the precedent that you don’t care. Granted he’s oblivious but we expect our partners to be mind readers. Communicate. Tell him about this.
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Go buy your own gift and show him what he got for your birthday.
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I would communicate that you would like to do something for your birthday. I have an amazing husband but he won’t buy or do crap for my birthday unless I say something. Same for the holidays. I got offended at first but that’s just him. He didn’t mean anything by it. Men don’t think like women do. At least most men don’t. Lol.
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I lived that, but I figured if I had to get angry to get some attention it was not real in the first place. Many years later he walked in with flowers for no occasion, that was real.
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Ngl I’d be very upset!
I’ve never ever dealt with someone that did not celebrate me and go all out .
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I’ve spend over 30 birthdays with my husband. He isn’t a great gift giver, but you know what? I’m okay with that because 1) I’m fully aware what he is like and 2) it isn’t a marriage deal breaker.
Just because I enjoy doing for others and putting together gifts doesn’t mean others have to.
He’s also worked damned hard to support our family and give us a great life. The bigger picture is what’s important.
Go buy yourself lunch& a gift! I do this for myself every occasion, some men have no respect for us! Take good care of You!
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Yes you should tell him your feelings! Then go from there! Depending on his answer how you would react!
Pull back a little and stop being so giving. Do the same thing to him that he does to you. See how he likes that.
Take your daughter and go do something for yourself. What do you need him for? Keep in mind that what comes around, can go around.
And stop making excuses for him, this “men are oblivious to these kinds of things”, just, no.
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Definitely talk to him about it
I have been married for 41 yrs…I NEVER get anything for my birthday!!! Grow up!!!
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Some guys, honestly don’t think like that. Or realize not doing so, is hurting you feelings. Or anything about it. But, he also can’t read your mind. And women need to stop thinking they should be able too. And no, little hints won’t do anything either. Besides possibly cause even more or bigger problems. Communication, is the key. To s better, healthier and happier relationship. If you want something, or want something to change… Communicate with him. Tell him. Be honest WITH HIM. Not anyone else. HIM. And, if nothing changes after that, well then that’ll be your answer. And nothing will ever change. And, well you’ll have your answer🤷
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I mean tell him you wanna go out. Either talk to him about it and remind him about things or lower your expectations with him. The mans not a mind reader. Did you ever do anything for your birthday in the 7 1/2 years you knew eachother before getting together? Cause if not he probably thinks you just don’t celebrate 
It would never bother me.
You should have talked to him about it the first time it happened. Communicate with your boyfriend.
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My husband was the same way, didn’t think and I believe,a lil selfish & after a cpl years of not receiving a gift for anything,I told him just how inconsiderate and hurtful it was and he better start getting me something…he started getting me gifts and especially at the beginning they were hilarious, the first one,he grabs a premade cake at store on his way home from work for my birthday, the second for Christmas, he gives me a snap on brand hairdryer that was free bc of all the tools he’d bought… but hey,it’s the thought that counts.right? He has gotten more thoughtful with the gifts though and it’s so sweet seeing he has joy giving them to me.
Hang in there, tell your man what you expect,if they don’t know, how can you get upset when it doesn’t happen.
Each family is different in our house birthdays are special it’s your day
l Get paid over $117 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $16210 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
Go to This. https://DollarPort103.pages.dev/
Advocate for the treatment you want and deserve💕
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Honestly, it would make me feel that way too… Like he doesn’t care. After all, it’s a special bday. We do dinner for each other…
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Most likely his family didn’t raise him to celebrate birthdays etc… and let me tell you, it’s a thing…. You need to talk to him about it & if he doesn’t make an effort to change you don’t want to be in a relationship with him long term if things like that are important to you.
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It is your 30th. I’d definitely say something and if he has a negative response then he can stay home and watch your kid while you go celebrate.
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Absolutely not a small gesture goes a long way even if it’s just something to let you know we thought about you, Even a card with some nice words,
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it’s okay to feel hurt. tell him how you feel. Some people not just guys are just not gift givers.
like my love language is acts of service and gift giving. My husbands is love language is physical (cuddles, kiss, etc) and just spending time together.
i still tell my husband i wish he’d try more on the birthday /christmas gifts but he honestly forgets to buy a gift but never forgets to tell me happy birthday,christmas, etc.
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Eh I wouldn’t cut him slack and make excuses that this is a “typical guy mentality”. You deserve to feel special at least once a year. Honestly he should be making you feel loved and honored at least once a day. Not just by material things but by how he treats you. You shouldn’t have to hold someone’s hand and tell them how you want to be treated. You gave him a child he should have way more respect for you. 30 is a big deal you should have gotten a part in my opinion. If he cared he’d show you. Words don’t mean a thing, actions do. Especially if you celebrate his birthday he knows you should get the same. I’d talk to him about it one time and if it doesn’t change you have the option to decide what you will and will not allow. I hope he wakes up and realizes what he has. I’m sorry he didn’t get you anything or celebrate you.
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Just use his money and buy yourself a gift, some guys just aren’t good at that type of stuff so don’t make the issue bigger then it is.
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I’d just say HEY! What are we gonna do for my birthday?!
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Stop buying gifts for him 
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You need to tell how you feel
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How does he know if you don’t talk to him? Men aren’t mind readers and he shouldn’t have to guess.
Don’t buy him anything ever again! For any occasion
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Shoot, he knows a month in advance all month long it’s my birthday so he can’t forget. 
Seriously, you have to spell it out for some guys. Happy 30th 
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Doesn’t sound like that good of a guy if he doesn’t reciprocate even a little. You took him to WDW for his birthday and he can’t like take you to Applebees or buy you flowers? Tell him how it makes you feel. Communication is key.
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It’s the little things that count maybe he can get u a key chain or cook up your fav dinner at home …or clean up the house and send u out for a girl’s day or pay a set of nails even the little things count talk to him about it
Ok just tell him how you feel and wait to see if things will change.
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The bar is on the ground…
Men will show you how much they care about you.
It’s not a “oh shucks, I’m so absent minded”, he just doesn’t care, and he knows that you don’t hold yourself in high regard so “why should he”.
You’re allowing too much, which is a huge issue in many (hetero) relationships
My boyfriend don’t do anything for mine. Doesn’t bother me. Most people don’t like celebrating. And I agree with some comments, you have to talk to him. He isn’t going to be able to read your mind
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Go buy yourself something! Then go home and say look what I bought myself for my birthday since no one else thought to get me anything!
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if you haven’t said anything about this to him , then maybe you should !!! Now if you have said about this to him before & he still doesn’t do anything, then that is just how he is, again I would ask him why? And if he really can’t give you a good enough answer, that is just the way he is, take him or leave him
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I see a lot of these comments are saying communication, talk to him, tell him. They remember what they want to remember. He’s a grown man there’s no reason he shouldn’t be able to.
Besides, do you really want a present that you have to ask him to buy? I wouldn’t. A gift should come from the heart.
I guarantee you that, if it was for him, he would remember.
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Love is an Action word… celebrating You and your bday is part of that action! Gifts and all!!
Before I answer I need to know more about him. Does he enjoy celebrations? Does he like the attention? The gifts? Maybe this just isn’t his thing? Some people are not good with being celebrated which maybe why he doesn’t do it or it may be his upbringing? I’m sorry it hurts you. Early Happy 30th Birthday:confetti_ball:
I would tell him. My ex did the same, he was a decent guy but for over a year…my birthday, Christmas, Valentine’s Day, our anniversary…I never received anything. I told him it was important to me, even if it was just a homemade gift or flowers he plucked off the side of the road. I always got “well, I didn’t know what to get you” or “I was going to get you something but…”
You’re not overreacting, it could be your love language and it’s important. Tell him and if he loves you, it should not upset him.
Buy yourself something and stop buying him
Mines the same im 30 in 2 days too … lol been together 14 years never get anything… im just used to it now tbh i allways have a little hope this year will be different its not lol x
He’s not a mind reader. If you don’t want to sit down and have a heart felt conversation with him, you can always say things like, “Where are you taking me to dinner for my birthday?” “Did you get me those really cool X that I wanted for my birthday?” jokingly to drop the hint. Long story short, yes love is more than just words, but communication is part of building that healthy foundation. He can’t fix something he doesn’t know is a problem and just expecting him to fix it without telling him is a little childish.
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He isn’t worth keeping he obviously does not care
If you do not tell him that this is upsetting you then you cannot expect him to know. People cannot read minds. And if you have let it happen two years in a row without saying anything it is likely that he thinks you are okay with not doing anything. You’ll have to communicate with him and let him know this is hurting your feelings so he realizes there is something wrong. How he responds will dictate where you go from there. Make sure you are as calm and objective as possible and focus on explaining how it makes you feel rather than blaming. Good luck!
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Nope. YOU make plans.YOU make reservations, plan for the babysitter, etc. Y0U buy yourself a very nice present ( jewelry is nice) and you tell him YOUR Birthday plans. Let him know that this is important to you. Tell him he will dress up and take you out. He is a guy, you really need to spell it out. You need to COMMUNICATE !!!
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Sorry but it’s lame and he could do better if he tried…more importantly, for you…is it a deal breaker, no matter what his “motivation” (or lack of) is, you get decide to how you want to be treated and how much it really matters in the scheme of things, HBD, chick, wishing you good things on your 30th:purple_heart:
Maaaan…look. Make bday plans with friends. Get a room. Of course tell him where you’re going…no sneaky stuff. Leave the baby with him. Take yourself out. Take lots of selfies. Buy yourself some jewlery or a nice outfit. Celebrate! Do it BIG. Have a time! I’ve gone through this and learned that you’ve gotta celebrate you even if no one else does.
If you care he needs to care it doesn’t matter if that’s not the kind of thing he does.
If you haven’t mentioned it to him ever , you need to now. He may seriously think it doesn’t bug you even though you do a lot for him on his birthdays . Even small heartfelt acknowledgments go a long way .
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If you don’t tell him your feelings he won’t know. Try communicating with him start a month before talking about what you want for your birthday. Most guys don’t care about birthdays so they don’t think they are that important that does not mean they don’t care about you. Simply tell him you feel hurt that he ignores your birthday and that you wish he would do something like a gift and dinner out to a nicer restaurant.
Mine didnt say anything when i turned 30. He was at work. I just gave birth. A day after, He gave me a surprise party. Be patient. Maybe he has something for you. Talk to him if he doesnt do anything after your birthday and if it bothers you a lot.
l Get paid over $117 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $16210 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
Go to This. https://DollarPort127.pages.dev/
