Been married almost 13 years and I can count on one hand the number of times I got anything for my birthday Christmas or anniversary and same with him. That stuff is just not important to us. We tell each other happy birthday happy anniversary etc but as far as spending money on each other we don’t see the need
1 Like
I had this issue at one point with my now husband- I sat him down and explained how this is about me needing to be loved how he is loved by me and about teaching our child what it looks like to love and give love. We set some cost limits and made an agreement that we could and would make specific requests for what we wanted or needed.
2 Likes
Tell him how you Feel Or Maybe Just do something for yourself I know it’s hard and it hurts but how is he suppose to know maybe HE MUST NOT REALIZE HOW IMPORTANT IT IS TOO YOU SPEAK UP:bangbang:
Talk to him about it even though it’s not that important
Giving him gifts, is something you do bc you know how it makes you feel.
You need to explain. That a simple small announcement of your special day is all your asking for.
2 Likes
Talk to him about it.
Life is not about material things. Just live your life and don’t worry about presents.
1 Like
Just give him a list of suggestions and tell him to pick one: dinner at A, B, or C restaurant, one of these specific necklaces, rings, earrings, etc. at X store/website with link/photo/catalog page, or Y experience on this day at this time and here’s where to get info & tickets, or a venue & a guest list for a party at a restaurant or bar or park or whatever. Give him about 3-5 choices, no more.
That way it’ll still be a surprise (especially if he gets you a 6-pack of beer instead 
), but you’ll have what you want and he won’t have the anxiety of figuring out what to get you. Be absolutely blunt and direct and specific, no pussyfooting around. You’ll both be happier.
Also the Love Languages book/s come highly recommended.
Some men and some religions don’t give presents. Gifts aren’t important to some
1 Like
If it’s not your bday till tomorrow how do you know he hasn’t got you anything yet?
I’m a strong believer in people can’t read your mind so you have to tell them how you feel, only then can a person do what is right or at least show you who they really are. Men are horrible at remembering dates, not all but most. I’m not saying that makes it ok but sometimes they need a nudge as a reminder
1 Like
My man and i ussually go to dinner and he lets me get something. His love language is not gifts. He is not a sentimental type of guy. He says hed rather me get whatever it is im wanting and dinner and that be that. I dont do much for him either for his bday cause he doesnt open up about what he wants or doesnt ever want anything. Aside from if theres new video games or something like that
Make your own big deal of your birthday. You don’t need him to acknowledge your bday. Leave him home with your daughter (which is his also) and go have some fun!!
3 Likes
It’s your love language. Talk to him so he would know.
I agree with what someone else set up above that men are not mind readers. They are not good at it. Most men don’t hear the things we say when we talk about oh I would love that or I love steak or I love tulips. I would just come out and say hey I’d like to go out to dinner for my birthday. What are your opinion on some of these restaurants I’m interested in? See what he says.
Tell him that your feelings are hurt. Many men are clueless about birthdays etc. If he doesn’t do anything, stop doing for his birthday. It’s either important to him or not.
As you said, men can be oblivious. Why not discuss it?
Men is not mind readers remind him it’s your birthday. But honestly my husband remembers mine but I don’t get anything. Because I don’t want anything. It’s to me congratulations your getting old. And it’s not a big deal.
Honestly it could just be how he grew up and that he isn’t trying to be rude. Communicate with him and ask if you two could have a special night as a makeup. My husband isn’t much of a gifter and rarely gives me cards it is just how he is
Your first mistake was having a baby out of wedlock, with a guy who you have always thought and STILL think you might not have a future with! You made some really bad life choices. I think this would have been a perfect call for Dr. Laura’s radio show.
4 Likes
U have to tell him. And if he still does nothing do it for ur self. Hand baby off to him and u take urself out to ur favorite food place. Tell him when u get back it was ur birthday dinner. Also stop doing for him. I mean his next birthday get him a gift but hide it so when he asks u can say doesn’t feel nice does it then u can go get it and give it to him but I’ve learned over the years men don’t understand till it happens to them. At least most men anyway. Good luck and happy birthday
1 Like
Sad 
unless he’s in a financial bind.
Love will always find away! Happy Birthday Beautiful!
Go out with your girls. When he asks why you’re going, nicely say that you want to celebrate and he’s welcome to join. Or you can just tell him how you feel.
If you’re not happy with his behavior, end the relationship. He doesn’t care about your feelings and he’s lazy. You’re teaching him it’s ok for him to do nothing and not treat you well.
2 Likes
Grow up, you stayed with him, and you keep doing things for his birthday expecting something in return, if you can’t communicate with him, what are you doing in this relationship, was the idea of having a baby his, yours, or a joint decision, if you can’t even talk to him about your birthday, I doubt it was a joint decision, which may have something to do with his attitude toward you. Sound a bit harsh to you, then maybe there’s some truth in my words.
2 Likes
My husband of 8 years doesn’t. Men are different than women. Big time! Until women understand that then you’ll always get yourself hurt and relationships will continue to be broken and people going their separate ways. If you’re not telling your man what to do or putting it in his phone calender to go off as a reminder then you can hang it up sister. Lol. Men are Men. They’re not women.
I send my man a pic of what I want and say, can you get me this for my birthday. He’s not a gift giver. But will pay for the gift I want 
got my Nike dunks and air jordan 1’s like this
1 Like
My husband has NEVER done anything for me on ANY holiday from my birthday to Christmas… I was extremely upset our first anniversary because he literally posted his ex on their first year together bragging about how great she was but yet I was pregnant with his twins and didn’t even get a simple love you… I have just let it go and do my own thing now…
1 Like
Sooo, you don’t want to spend a lifetime asking and expecting effort, guess what, if you die tomorrow, you already did!
If he doesn’t want to celebrate you, then celebrate yourself. Blow up balloons put them in your kitchen get yourself a bouquet of flowers and order a pizza if that doesn’t make him feel bad then he has no heart. Really don’t wait for no One to celebrate you celebrate yourself you’re important and you matter so have a good time and Happy Birthday. 
2 Likes
Maybe you worded it wrong but… you should give with the intentions of giving… not to be able to receive later.
I personally don’t think it’s a big deal 
We all make mistakes. No need to hassle her.
This is not ok. I make it known I expect the royal treatment on my bday and any bf I have ever had delivers that. Or else we don’t work out.
My bf he goes all out for my bday and Valentine’s Day. I expect nothing less.
You need to talk to him and explain he needs to do better. If he doesn’t than he doesn’t care and he needs to be thrown to the curb. Self worth is important!
You gotta tell him … men are emotionally stumped (it’s not an excuse by any means ) but he’s not a mind reader … explain it’s the thought that counts not the actual gift and you wish he would put more thought into it
1 Like
Drew Moore I’m always confused as to why men are in this “mamas” group. This is a group for MOTHERS, not men that want to bash people with their male perspectives. Additionally, not ones that want to come on and push their personal religious ideas on to others. OP did not ask for your Christian opinion on habing children out of wedlock or your ignorant presumption that having done so meant her relationship wouldn’t last, or furthermore to be mocked like a side show suggesting her relationship was worthy of a talk show. Your very existence in here is a show of your lack of boundaries. Who are you to judge and rule her life choices as being bad? This is why people struggle with Christianity, because people like you are absolute hypocrites. None of us are perfect and at the end of the day God is more likely to look down on his followers that misrepresent his faith than those that have children out of wedlock. Everything you said was horrendous and unnecessary. You should be ashamed. Kindly read the rules and leave.
I’ve been married to my husband 21 years we have 7 kids together. I buy my own stuff ,threw my own birthday party. Most men just don’t think about that stuff. Honestly I prefer that way. This way I get what I want or need. Most stuff I pick out is usually to make my life easier in home,new pots,gadgets for the kitchen. I even make my own cake. I do all the birthday parties for the kids,all the shopping for Christmas and so on. This way I know its done right.
1 Like
My husband and I don’t do gifts like this. It’s a mutual thing that we agreed on early in our relationship.
Celebrate with some friends, quit doing things for his birthday. It just another day to him, so treat his birthday like that.
2 Likes
When something is important to the people we care about we take the time to oblige within reason. It could be so many things. Talk to him and tell him how you feel, ask him why it’s not relevant to him and go from there. Some men simply have trauma from their mothers or prior relationships from not doing the “right” thing. Social media also doesn’t help because as we compare ourselves to others so do they. Maybe he feels pressure to do something grand that he can’t afford.
Talk to him or dump him
Communicate communicate communicate… you can never communicate to much… and if it’s to much for that person then they ain’t the one.
4 Likes
My bf of 4 years didn’t get me anything for Christmas, valentine’s day, my birthday or mother’s day this year. His excuse was because we had no money. Even though I made sure and found ways to make sure he had something. I did miss his birthday which is 2 days before mine because I was still sore over Christmas and Vday. But I felt bad, (even tho i got nothing for mine and then nothing for mother’s day) and made sure he had something for fathers day. If he had put money aside instead of spending it on beer and cigarettes he would’ve been able to do something for me. Mind you this is the first year he hasn’t. So… it just shows you where they have priorities. Now I know it’s not all about materialistic things, but one of my many love languages is receiving gifts. (And giving) and my last 2 "partners " didnt buy me gifts for anything so it’s a big thing for me and he knows it. You’re completely fine for feeling some type of way. Sit down and have a talk with him and just let him know how you feel, and what you’d hope to see in the future if he expects the same thing in return. Men can be oblivious, but that’s a long time for him to not realize he’s receiving and not giving. So just tell him what all you’ve done for him, what he hasn’t done for you, that it makes you sad, and that you’d like to see the same from him. If he cares he will listen and hopefully start reciprocating. Good luck.
you gotta tell him… last year on my bday, we went to the fair (with our child)… this year i told him “i want to be kid free & i want to go to the movies”
If you haven’t discussed how it makes you feel you need to start there. You can’t get anywhere without communication. He may be the type that needs you to specifically say “can you please do this for my birthday?” Not everyone is the same but you have to let him know.
First off, “it’s the thought that counts.” A simple happy birthday wish is all you should ever expect. Especially when you’re not a child who typically receives a big celebration. Don’t have high expectations of receiving gifts from anybody and you won’t feel let down when someone doesn’t buy a gift. Have you witnessed the current economy? I wouldn’t be buying any gifts for a 30 year old either, honestly lol maybe a $2 card at most.
1 Like
Get in his billfold go buy urself something expensive and tell him thank u …hahahaha. i bet he buys u something himself next year . Just kidding
1 Like
You’re not wrong for feeling hurt. Period.
2 Likes
I would talk to him. Does he know how you feel? When his birthday comes around or anniversary or any holiday really, don’t do anything for him. Let’s see if he notices. If he says anything tell him “well i just figured since I never get anything from you, I just figured it wouldn’t be a big deal if you didn’t get anything from me”. I know when giving, you do it without expecting anything in return. If you expect anything you’re doing business and that’s not right. I do understand that when you have a significant other it would be nice if they reciprocated the love you give to them. Being in a relationship is a partnership. You both go out of your way to make each other happy. If you feel like you are putting in more than what you’re getting back then you’re doing business. I know I’m all over the place with my comment lol but I hope I make sense.
Yes, you are overreacting. Because you apparently haven’t even told this person that you’re in a long-term relationship with what is important to you. That’s Relationship 101. If you haven’t talked about it, you can’t hold THEM responsible for not knowing it or doing it. You’re setting yourself up for a lifetime of frustration and disappointment by expecting someone to read your mind or guess at what it is you want. SPEAK UP!!
2 Likes
The story of my life! My husband doesn’t believe in celebrating birthdays or holidays but he has never turned away any of my gifts or birthday dinners. Concert tix, NFL, NBA, or MLB opening day tix. I’ve gotten nothing. He doesn’t get our children anything either. I plan all the birthdays for our kids and holidays. Purchase all the gifts and wrap everything for my family and his family. He puts in zero effort. After 7 years I quit! I will no longer acknowledge him at all. If he doesn’t care now he won’t care from this point forward.
1 Like
i am making these days easily more than $500 per day for doing work online. i got my 3rd payment last month of $19582. i was surprised when one of my close friend told me she was making $17771 per month but now i see how it works.
Check This >>https://DollarProfits849.pages.dev/
1 Like
So if it’s tomorrow, how do you know he hasn’t? I’m just wondering… but yes, I’d be upset… but he’s a man and he don’t know unless you tell him how you feel
If it hurts your feelings, you should address it. If he cares about your feelings he’ll do something about it. If he shrugs it off, he doesn’t respect you.
1 Like
I don’t care for the material things on my birthday except my DQ ice cream cake. If he has never went above and beyond on your birthday its just who he is and don’t expect it now.
Don’t do or buy anything for him see if he notices or acknowledges it and if he does then say oh well u don’t acknowledge me how does it feel ?
2 Likes
I think this is a common problem with men. 
I’ve encountered it many times personally, with my Sister and girlfriends telling me similar stories. Men [generally] are not givers. Women are. He probably loves you very much, he has just not been conditioned to give, do, think about how to celebrate your specialness on that one day a year! I’m not sure communicating it really helps much either. Lord knows I’ve tried! I have just learned to lower the bar in terms of expectations. I’m grateful for my girlfriends and family who remember and celebrate me instead. 
1 Like
Bring it up now ! While he is not your husband ! He needs to change NOW .
I’m right there with you. I bought mine and his dinner on my bday with bday money I was given. I’ve received one gift from my guy. It’s been 3 years. I make sure he gets stuff for bdays and Xmas tho.
Tell him how you feel…and don’t buy him anything else…t h ey have to feel it to know how it feels
1 Like
You’re being real petty right now!
Your birthday is tomorrow
1 Like
Idk I don’t see a big deal, but I don’t celebrate birthdays so I guess I don’t understand the big deal, after 21 there’s really not much to celebrate other than getting old I guess.
I think where some men drop the ball is that they don’t realize there is more than one way to make love and say I love you. Remembering birthdays and gleening a few gift ideas they think you might like on your special day goes a long, long way in making his girl feel special. One day of thoughtfulness is not much to ask.
Red flag move on I dated some one like that and then married them and never got a gift the entire 12 years , I divorced him loveless marriage it’s just who he was wh everything amd everyone in life selfish and cold
1 Like
“So you have anything planned for my birthday tomorrow”? 
If he says no, just plan something together & go! For a gift, I would just playfully bring up some things you’d like… if he doesn’t get you anything, just point blank ask him why.
3 Likes
If it hurts you then it should be brought up. My husband of 10 years didn’t get me nothing for cmas but I made sure he had something and I was low on money but I always get him stuff for every holiday I’m lucky if he even remembers my birthday.
1 Like
Girl!!! I’ve been mad for the past 2 weeks. Not only did I turn 30, but no one got me a damn thing. I know people tend to not celebrate birthdays when they get older, but 30 is a big deal ! My family lives overseas but my husband got me nothing. And I got him a 24k gold chain for his 30th last year. I’m sorry. But I kinda feel better knowing I’m not the only one feeling this way. I thought I was being a brat. But nope.
Tell him! Just ask him.out right what he has planned for your birthday tomorrow
Say something .Tell him you want celebration,gifts,party,dinner,whateverMen are waiting for us to help them understand. They are not mind readers!
maybe he doesn’t know. have you tried talking to him before?
I would bring it up to him. Say hey…tomorrow is my birthday. Maybe we should do something…
I have to do this with my husband. He is like that too. I will throw a party and get stuff to grill,beer,make him a cake,and we have a big cookout with all his friends over. My bday…i usually run to a store,buy what i want, buy us all some type of takeout…usually me and hubby i get us Chinese food and pick up Happy Meals from Mcdonalds for the kids…and get either a cheesecake or ice cream cake from Walmart to eat after.
I did pout on Valentine’s Day and Mother’s Day this year. He dropped the ball on Valentine’s. I didnt get squat. Woke up to nothing on Mother’s Day. I had ordered myself roses to be delivered,but UPS didnt deliver them that day like they were supposed to. I cried and went back to bed. Woke up and my 8 year old handed me chocolates and a rose bush her and my husband, her dad,had gone and gotten. But…i was pregnant too…doing a surrogacy…and craving chessecake and they didnt get it,so i had to get one or murder someone. Fun times. Men are just dense like that. We usually dont even exchange gifts for Christmas. I got him something first 2 Christmases we were together and never got anything back,so i gave up. Buy my own stuff most of the time. Since i sent myself to see Reba in concert,i even sent my husband to see his idol Garth Brooks in concert. They dont really notice what you do for them until stop doing it. He drops the ball on your bday and holidays…do the same back.
Bring it up. Read about the five love languages together and discuss them! Me and my husband don’t care much about gifts, it’s last for both of us. Some people like to be shown love through gifts and if that’s you then you need to let him know so he can love you how you want him to. Don’t get mad at him because he obviously doesn’t know that you want gifts, if he knows it’s important to you and chooses to ignore it then that would be a reason to be irritated.
1 Like
Yes, communicate your feelings. Don’t bottle them up. He might not think it’s an issue.
This happened for me too. I didn’t get anything for my 30th, but I got stuff for him etc.
Stop getting him anything so he can see how it feels Maybe he will get the picture and don’t take him out to eat
2 Likes
You are don’t over reacting if he doesn’t have a lot of money he could make you dinner with a cheap bottle of wine 
run you a nice bubble bath watch you favourite film I think he’s very selfish feel sorry for you x
2 Likes
Wow. So many of you think it’s just “the way men are”…Bs! My husband gets me a gift for every holiday/birthday that comes where gifts are usually given. He will buy me flowers, a card and a gift and then he either cooks me dinner or we go out. Do NOT expect any less from your man. If he cannot celebrate YOU, he doesn’t deserve YOU.
7 Likes
I’ve learned to live without and I know that if I didn’t take my huband out to get my something he couldn’t do it himself (he’s disabled) so that would take the surprise away. As long as he wishes me a happy birthday, at this point, I’ll take what I can get.
1 Like
Its called selfish and inconsiderate.
1 Like
A closed mouth doesn’t get fed. Just tell him how you feel 
2 Likes
If you want todo something then PLAN it … yeah it’s better if it comes from him but obviously he’s not going todo so so do it your self
If my boyfriend did not get me a gift it would be a wrap I would spend his money on me a gift and say thank you and have a card and write to the love of my life hunny
1 Like
Try “forgetting his birthday “…
2 Likes
Tell him. Men sometimes need stuff spelt out for them, and people in general arent mind readers he may think its not an issue because you havent said anything. 100% tell him.
2 Likes
he really is a good guy- but he does nothing at all to prove that. lol are you fr? this is why trifling men exist, bc women put up with this and don’t be teaching no lessons by- 1. talking about it 2. holding him accountable and 3. LEAVING HIM when he doesn’t act right.
3 Likes
I believe being in your partners presence is more important than presents.
No wonder you feel upset. Birthdays are a big deal in our family. I continued that in my life and my childrens life. I would talk to him about how your feelings are hurt. Other individual in my life are very selfish. Your feelings are important.Good luck
To the curb. Thoughtless
1 Like
Mediocre boyfriend. Terrible husband. Do not have children with him.
1 Like
If nothing comes from him you 8oclock I’d pop up to my room posh up and he’ll be very surprised to see you asking where your going or doing my answer a friend has arranged ameal for my birthday see how that goes eh 
4 Likes
Some men are not wired like women. I have told my husband to remember anniversaries, birthdays, be more romantic and he tries but he is not good at it. He does light candles fordinner now. He loves me, he does not cheat or care to cheat. He does the dishes and makes coffee in the morning. He will fix and repair anything that needs it and he will remodel anything I want. If I need any help he is always willing to help, with a smile on his face. He helps with dinner, cleans the bathroom, trims trees, weed whacks and is great at everything he does. We have been married for 44 years Aug 27th and he just doesn’t think about what to do for a special occasion. He will ask what I would like to do and we will do whatever I want but I wish he could just think things up on his own. It’s not in his personality. Learn to accept him like he is, or find a new boyfriend.
Good luck to you!
6 Likes
Yeah that’s rude and plain inconsiderate of him. I’d definitely call him out on that. Only a cheapskate or narcissist would do that.
Exactly. Then, you will have something you really wanted and like, too.
I would say if you let him know that it is a disappointment and he still chooses to do nothing to acknowledge the date then I would have a discussion with him that we agree that neither person’s birthday will be celebrated in the future. That way, no expectations on either person’s part. Sounds like you have always acknowledged his and this will probably be a disappointment for him. Maybe he can then relate to what it feels like. Just curious, does he acknowledge Valentine’s Day, Christmas, etc?
1 Like
It sounds like part of your love language is gifting. That’s important to you, so you should absolutely bring it up.
1 Like
Does he make sure he acknowledges his mother’s birthday…'tell you to make sure you pick her up a card from him, etc.? If he does, then he knows the importance of acknowledging a loved one’s birthday and is just choosing not to do so for you.
IMO birthdays are overrated. Just another day. But if it means that much to you, then you need to tell him how you feel and what the problem is. Also how he can rectify the situation.
Don’t buy him anything. Did he say HB? If he didn’t dont. knowledge his BD
Tell him your feelings and if he seems to not care make plans to go out with a friend for some fun. 30 is a big bday. Celebrate! Also…if he is a good man then he will care after you express your feelings. Enjoy your day! Happy birthday tomorrow
1 Like
You teach people how to treat you. Him not doing anything for your past two birthdays and you being ok with it made it ok. Obviously you’re not and your feelings are hurt tell him. It’s not silly to feel like that eveyones wants to feel special especially on their birthdays.
1 Like
Definitely make your needs and expectations known. It’s much better to have an awkward conversation before it’s too late, than to have an argument and hurt feelings after because he doesn’t realize it’s important to you.
2 Likes