Tell him it hurts you if he doesn’t change run 16 years and counting of feeling underappreciated here and depression sucks
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After 10 years as friends, it sounds like he settled for her to get sex.
NO but did he have any money on that day ? Look on the Bright side you don’t have to buy him a present for is birthday now.
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Heck yeah you should!
It’s not about the money spent or the size of the present, but some effort needs to be made to show you how important you are to him.
If he has a real issue with this, then he has an issue with you setting out your worth, and that’s not cool.
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I just tell my man what I want for my bday and holidays, if I didn’t he probably wouldn’t get me anything lol… its just how he is but he is amazing and does soo much for me and our daughter.
Get yourself dressed up tell him to babysit and take yourself out girl. Maybe that will put him in his place
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You made it ok once and now that’s the norm. Change that
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yup; talk to him … otherwise it won’t change
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Sometimes they just don’t know what to get,. Mine gets me something some years others he doesn’t. But he also says not to bye him anything either. It’s not that he doesn’t want too. But says he does not know what. It doesn’t hurt to talk about it, to understand why he doesn’t. He just might not think it’s important to. So explain it.
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You really can’t complain if you haven’t talked to him and told him how you feel yet, but on the other hand, how is he such a good guy if you’re not his priority?? Hmmm 
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I sure he would if the shoe were on the other foot. Food for thought.
He probably came from a home that did not do anything special. When my sister’s son was in high school she did not let him go to the football game until he went out and bought her a birthday present. She called it good husband training and he is a good husband.
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Communication is key. Definitely have a discussion.
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Honestly he needs to put in more effort my husband doesn’t buy me anything either but we’re broke and my birthday falls on a holiday so it’s really hard to do anything it’s July 4th but he still takes time out for me makes me dinner makes me breakfast which is me happy birthday and takes me to a firework show and me him and the kids will make a cake day before it’s kind of a fun little family tradition we got going I bake the cake and they decorate lol he doesn’t have to spend much money to make it something special for you
Talk to him and let him know that it bothers you, he won’t improve unless it’s something you guys wish to address
I would talk to him about it. Especially if it really bothers you.
Communication. Communication. Communication!!!
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Communication is key! You need to tell him in advance you’d like to do something special or made to feel special on your birthday telling him your birthday means alot to you. After communicating this to him then he should know to do something or get you something, if he still doesn’t then yoo need to express your sadness and frustration on that. Hoping he doesnt do that again.
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If he doesn’t give you a gift don’t give him. One
Men aren’t mind readers. Tell him exactly what you want and what you are expecting for your birthday/always.
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Should have been discussed before the day before your birthday 
As you said this isn’t new behavior so you had plenty of time to let him know you’re hurt and that you want him to recognize special days and events in your life. So I think you bring it up after your birthday and every day after until your next birthday so he understands
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Nope. You’re not wrong. Reciprocation goes a long long way. And you definitely need to air it out. That was exactly the argument I made to my husband about things I didn’t like. Did I dislike so much that I would walk away? If so, it was a changeable behavior.
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Deffinitely speak up and voice your feelings, and as you sated yes some men are oblivious, I’ve been with mine and he has gotten me 3 presents out of 8 years together so I understand that part, you aren’t over reacting
If he didn’t do anything for two years and you didn’t say it bothered you, than maybe he thinks that you like it that way. I’m not making excuses for anyone who does this stuff with intent, but maybe you said something once as a joke, or maybe you were writing yourself off and he was really listening to you saying you didn’t want anything. Maybe you are like I am and forget certain conversations. All i’m saying is that nothing ever gets better without talking about it. Also, if you do talk about it and he seems not to care about your feelings, or it keeps happening, he doesn’t care as much as you thought he did.
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Oh sweetie… For my birthday last year (being a newlywed nonetheless) my then husband packed up and left me after leaving me to spend my birthday with his mother and arguing with me all day… I got nothing and spent it with no one. I had arrangements made for my children to spend my birthday with their fathers so my husband and I (newlywed’s nonetheless) could go for a surprise trip that I had planned, I even told him we had plans… He left early in the morning, no Happy Birthday, no FU I’m leaving… nothing. So if you got to spend your special day with your partner, be thankful 
Yep. Tell him. If he doesn’t care then that’s all you need to know. Some ppl think it’s ok to not put in any effort on special occasions but are more than happy to receive effort on their special days. When the effort dies overtime yours will too.
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The key word here is “boyfriend.” You are just his girl friend. He doesn’t have to do anything for you. He is a narcissist. He does not appreciate anything. The more you do for him, the worse he is. My friend was engaged to this man and he treated her like dirt. He thought because he gave her a cheap little ring, he did his duty. Don’t live like that. Almost 3 years is a long time to not be given a ring or promise of marriage. You are worthy. You have proven that by putting up with him all this time.
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No flowers no card no nothing!!! Does he Know it bothers you!!! How abt hey boo I would like to do this for my bday!!!
Honey my birthday was this month I’ve been married 12 years and my husband didn’t even tell me happy birthday I mean how do you forget my birthday I never forget his I never forget anyone’s and I have nine children so I understand where you’re coming from getting a present wasn’t my problem him just not saying happy birthday was the problem
He won’t know how you feel unless you tell him. If he ignores you after go from there.
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Bring it up with him
Communication is key
Plan the date you want
Buy the gift you want and tell him what time to be ready
You can wait and be unhappy he don’t
Or make it happen for your self.
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Why are you expecting him to be something he’s not if he didn’t exhibit the behaviors and attributes you would wanted why did you build a life with him why are you expecting him to change now when before it was good enough
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You are an adult. It’s not always about getting presents when you get older. It is about the people you spend your day with!
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You’re 30 and you’re still playing passive aggressive codependency games? Have you considered developing some emotional independence or basic communication skills?
You have a daughter- what do you want her see in a healthy relationship?
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return the favor do nothing for birthdays father day or anything else I did it to my husband, now he never forgets
He won’t know unless you tell him. Some people like myself just don’t care about birthdays. I don’t buy ppl gifts or go anywhere unless invited to a party. You might have to take initiative with him like making the plans yourself.
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He won’t know you are upset or disappointed without you telling him. Like you said, men are sometimes oblivious to things like that. I would bring it up, don’t talk AT him and don’t go into the conversation confrontational, that will only end in an argument. He may just come from a family that doesn’t really do birthdays, obviously we don’t know that though so just bring it up.
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I would be very upset with this too. You are not over reacting but l would be thinking long and hard is this how you want life to be for rest of your life ?
If he doesn’t treat your birthday as special he won’t for your daughter’s either.
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Just tell him how you feel
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No, you’re not overreacting at all. Your feelings are valid. Start treating people the way they treat you. They won’t like it either.
Yes, you should have brought it up the first time. My love language is gifts. My husbands is not. We’ve been married for 7+ years. Most of those years I did not get anything. We had a conversation about it every time. The problem is, he stresses over WHAT to get, so badly, until he never gets anything at all. It’s a work in progress, and I know he’s trying. He understands my love language is important to me, and is trying to fulfill that. Just like how show him love based on his love language. Just because HIS love language isn’t gifts, doesn’t mean I don’t get to have that option.
If gifts make you happy, you should absolutely say something
I’ll be 27 on the 28th and I personally don’t think gifts show love just bc money can buy it as to wear someone taking time to spend with me is more meaningful than a gift. Just my husbands and kids time is a gift as cheesy as it sounds…I’ve been through A LOT of things with life and death due to health issues and once you get there you realize just how short life is and those things don’t really matter anymore…but I do see how your feelings could be hurt. I know this wasn’t much help but just my opinion. If it’s bothering you enough to post on here maybe you should bring it up but not make a big deal out of it and see what happens.
Men are not oblivious 3 times when it comes to their Loves birthday. Don’t excuse the behavior by saying it’s a man thing. Did you have a discussion the other times when he did nothing? If you did and he’s still doing it then this is your future and you will have to start celebrating yourself. That would be hurtful to me and I would have discussed it the first time. I don’t think you are over reacting to be hurt. I do think you need to see him for who he is though. That’s not a “man thing.” It’s not even the gift part it the fact he’s not doing anything to celebrate you at home or out.
Communication is key
I also found it hurtful to have my day forgotten year after year with each partner I’ve had you’ll have to bring it up as what happens the first time sets the bar years into its unlikely to change so you no longer celebrate there’s
I’d tell him your feelings. If he goes out and get you something or do something with you for your birthday then he’s a keeper. If he still doesn’t do anything about it then you’ll know your answer. If you haven’t told him in the beginning of the relationship of you expecting something on your birthday or whatever, then yeah he’ll assume that it’s not a big deal.
It’s not the gift! It’s the acknowledgment of you as a person! Doesn’t need to spend a lot of money- a small token Flowers and a card. Dinner just the 2 of you! Movies! And it is a milestone birthday ! If he doesn’t acknowledge, I would say something once! Good luck!
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